I love you but.... (659 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.42 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rachel Happy pants (View user info) at 2007-01-08 09:03:44 EST
I love you but.....
I am not having a threesome with a sexworker, again. Last time I itched for a week.
A petrol RC car is not a gift we can both enjoy.
I will not lose weight and get breast implants so you can pretend your married to a porn star.
Ogling my 15 year old cousin at family gatherings is not ok. Ever.
Getting drunk and groping my grandma is gross no matter how many times you insist you thought is was me.
I am not cooking steak for tea 7 nights a week, I like cows end of story.
All of our pay will not be utilised for the following things, more alcohol, more pot, more cigarettes, more porn.
Saying I am a party pooper will not change my mind.
Saying I am a party pooper while stamping your foot will still not change my mind.
Getting arrested is not an activity the whole family can enjoy.
Tickling me till I pee isn't funny for the both of us.
Telling the children they were fathered by the milkman doesn't make me laugh.
Next time you come in my mouth can you eat some pineapple please?
Acting like my child is not a turn on.
Just because I like cartoons doesn't mean I want to sit on the couch all day in front of the T.V. scratching my balls and eating potato chips.
Drinking Kahlua all night and vomiting in my side of the closet does not endear me to you as a person.
And I love you but it's time to go to bed dad.
User Reviews
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-01-08 16:40:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-08 16:14:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-08 15:21:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-08 12:33:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
Enough with these posts...start showing some hole.
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He uses the same tired lines... and yet every now and again it makes me giggle.
The man in a genius. An evil, bitter, horny genius - but still.
________
Yeah, without a doubt an absolute genius.
I heard he reads transcripts of howard stern for 4 hours each day to keep on top of all the witty, high brow humor.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-08 15:21:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-08 12:33:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
Enough with these posts...start showing some hole.
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He uses the same tired lines... and yet every now and again it makes me giggle.
The man in a genius. An evil, bitter, horny genius - but still.
Submitted by BadASCII (user info) at 2007-01-08 15:07:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-01-08 14:44:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You were gone for 2 years.
Shouldn't of come back.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-01-08 14:43:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
*physical activity*
Now, stop crying and go make me a damn' sammich, bitch. And get a Kleenex®, your nose is bleeding. For change.. HAHAHAHAHA! For a change! Get it? HAHAHA... It's funny, you dumb cunt...
*physical activity*
Now, get up and make my damn' SAMMICH! Aww, get up. Get up. Really, I mean it - get the fuck up. I'm not fucking around, fucking move you bitch...
Hey, you OK?
Shit.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2007-01-08 13:31:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you're married to one of my ex-husbands.
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-08 13:30:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I was going to say you're not a very good girlfriend, till i got to the last line... that's just gross.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2007-01-08 12:51:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-01-08 12:38:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Face
Sometimes, beautiful actress visits this place to see monkeys. We can identify them easily by her stylish face. Comparing to that, we can't memorize the actors and actresses in the movie and TV of foreign countries, so it's very difficult to judge whether his or her face is good or not good.
Each monkeys has different face. It's very difficult to distinguish monkey's face, like we can't memorize foreigner's face. But, if you keep up to observe them, it's become easier and easier to distinguish their face.
They are good at living on trees. They developed the vision system to measure the distance between branches when they leap and jump onto.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-08 12:33:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Enough with these posts...start showing some hole.
Submitted by Wicked (user info) at 2007-01-08 12:15:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-01-08 12:12:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-08 12:09:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
English girls are funny
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-08 11:51:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2007-01-08 11:38:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Divorce.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-01-08 11:24:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-08 11:05:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
wow, die.
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Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-01-08 10:58:34 (#)
Ranking: -1
One a day
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Mother fuckers not rating my post.
This post still bores me. Enough to now -2 it.
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-01-08 11:20:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-08 11:05:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
wow, die.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-01-08 10:58:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
One a day
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-08 10:50:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
this is shit.
sorry.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-01-08 10:02:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You itched for a week and you're still Rachael 'Happy Pants'?
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2007-01-08 09:41:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yes daddy more please.
give
it
to
me
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-01-08 09:13:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
comment no
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2007-01-08 09:11:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If you can do all that and still get your wife to call you "daddy". High five to ya!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-08 09:10:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
LOL
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-08 09:10:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment