Final Companion (1742 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.18 on 67 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by (V) (View user info) at 2007-01-10 11:19:46 EST
I pulled into the lot and parked, getting out of the car and pausing to look up at the sky. Above me was that rich California blue that makes you giddy and mellows you out at the same time. It was a beautiful spring day. As good a day to die as any, I suppose.
The car horn toot-tooted behind me. I turned and saw Stan sitting on the passenger seat, his gray and bushy tail wagging away, hitting the chrome ring and sounding the old Chevrolet's horn.
I'd taught him to stay in the car until I said it was okay to come out.
"Let's go," I said.
Stan let out a little 'hrumph' and carefully stepped down out of the car. There was a time when Stan would have barked vigorously and launched himself into the air, but that was years ago.
I went into the building and stopped at the reception desk, smelling antiseptic and pine air freshener. Sounds were muted here. The paint on the walls was off-white, clean, soothing.
I'd been in places far worse than this. State-funded institutions were the worst. Hospices like this one, surviving on public funding alone, somehow always got it right.
The woman at the desk glanced up from her paperwork. There were lines worn into her face, creasing her forehead and bracketing her mouth, lines that were the insignia of women around the world and throughout the ages who worked to help others simply because it was the right thing to do.
"I'm here to see Mrs. Heller," I said.
Stan's toenails ticked on the linoleum floor.
The receptionist stood and peered over the desk.
"I'm sorry," she said, "but animals are not allowed in this facility. Unless you are a family member, and she has none as far as I can recall, you'll have to—"
"I'm from Final Companion," I said.
The woman's face changed, softened a little, as much as those hard-earned lines would allow.
"Oh," she said.
I smiled. I knew what was coming next.
"Mrs. Heller could pass at any time," she said, lowering her voice. "But she seemed okay when I saw her yesterday, as okay as anyone can be losing the fight against osteosarcoma."
She moved a few papers on her desk and then asked, "Why are you here now? Today?"
I looked down at Stan, looked up, and shrugged. "It's his call," I said.
"Well," the woman said, coming around the desk, "I'm Anne Gordon. Follow me."
I introduced myself and followed her down the hall. We passed a number of doors and then Ms. Gordon opened one.
"Laura," she whispered. "There's... there's a man here from, well, from Final Companion."
I heard a murmur.
"All right," Ms. Gordon said. She turned to me and opened the door wide.
When I had said I was from Final Companion I hadn't told the whole truth, but I hadn't lied either.
I was Final Companion. Just me, and the animals who did all the hard work.
I've been doing this for twenty-five years now. Stan was the sixth final companion I had worked with.
I stepped into the room, thanked Ms. Gordon, and closed the door.
"Hi," I said. "Mrs. Heller? This is Stan."
The old lady in the bed raised her head off her pillow and winced, reached for the button that controlled her morphine drip, and then smiled through her pain when she saw Stan's goofy face.
She was small, wasted from the cancer. I could tell she had lost her breasts to the disease years ago, and yet her chest pushed up against the sheet and blanket covering her. The tumors growing inside the bones expanded and distorted the strongest of our internal structures.
I couldn't imagine the pain.
I sat in a chair by the window. There was a tree outside and the leaves stirred in a light breeze, a lovely, calming sound.
I sat and watched the leaves move and let Stan do what he came here to do.
Stan was a weird mix. He had the musculature and coloring of a pit bull, but he was the size of a German Shepard, and had a bushy tail and big floppy ears.
He also had a goofy, lopsided grin that made everyone who saw him smile.
I'd been driving down Stanyan Street in San Francisco when I first saw him eight years ago. He'd been sitting on the median, his coat a mess, his tail full of burrs.
He was a stray, and he'd been waiting for me.
I'd stopped the car in the right hand lane and opened the door, ignoring the yell of a cab driver behind me.
Stan had leaped across me into the passenger seat, he was a lot more spry then, and I had driven home with him.
I had lost my last final companion only two days before. Edgar was a little terrier. He'd died in his sleep. No pain.
Stan sat beside the bed, his tongue hanging out on side of his mouth, his tail slowly swishing across the clean floor.
"Mrs. Pennybaker down the hall told me about you," Mrs. Heller said. She raised one terribly wasted hand and let it settle on Stan's head. "She said that there was a special creature who could help me, and here you are."
When I started doing this it was by word of mouth, and I continue to operate that way today. I have no website, no business cards, no office. I have no snappy slogan or catchphrase - 'Final Companion, Your Friend at the End!'
I have no special training, no license, and in the eyes of any and all bodies of authority I had no right to be here.
"What a pretty boy you are." Mrs. Heller grinned, and for a moment I could see the strong and lovely face of the woman she had once been. She looked into Stan's big brown eyes and her fingers twitched, the best she could manage as far as petting him went.
Stan gave another 'hrumph,' and simply sat there, looking at Mrs. Heller.
She eased her head back into her pillow and closed her eyes, her face relaxing. Her smile changed, not reflecting amusement, but simple peace of mind.
Euthanasia is against the law. People get so sick and suffer such incurable, inescapable pain that they need a way out.
This is an age-old conflict.
And this is where I come in, and Stan, and those final companions before him.
The animals do all the work. I just find them.
That, and having a knack for picking winning lottery numbers were the only talents I had. I never won big in the lottery, but I took home a couple of grand every other month. It was enough to pay the rent and keep a stock of pet food in the pantry.
I started with Rascal, a quarter-century ago. Rascal had been a little dachshund, with bright eyes and a wiry coat. I'd stepped outside my front door early one Sunday to grab the newspaper and Rascal had been there, waiting for me.
I had looked at him, and Rascal had looked back with those bright little eyes, and I known. I had just known.
Mrs. Heller took a deep breath, and let it out slow and smooth, the respiration of a person about to nap on the couch on a Saturday afternoon, chores done, mind at peace.
Stan raised his gray muzzle a little, his big black nose touching the inside of the old lady's wrist.
Counting Rascal and Stan I've worked with three dogs, two cats, and a rat I called Billy-bob. The cats tended to snuggle up alongside the dying and purr loudly, almost as if humming a lullaby. Billy-bob would curl up on a chest or perch on a forearm, his long pink tail wrapped around his gray and white body, his whiskers twitching as he studied a human face with eyes like tiny black beads.
At some point, probably no more than ten minutes after we entered the room, Stan let out a whimper.
I went down the hall and found Mrs. Gordon, who summoned a nurse practitioner.
Mrs. Heller was finally at peace.
I went out to the car with Stan, wondering as always if the final companions sent the dying on their way and cut short their suffering, or if they simply appeared at the right time to be a friend at the very end.
Stan curled up in the passenger seat and we hit the road. I scratched his head.
"Good boy, Stan. Good old guy"
Stan looked at me a while, and then closed his eyes. The old boy was tired.
The dying I visited were always alone at the end, no family or friends to hold their hands or comfort them.
I was halfway home when I felt something move by me, a warm current that made my heart speed up.
I looked down at Stan, and I knew. He was gone.
When I got home I took him into the house. I knew that when I finished crying I would call Pet's Rest out in Colma. They would pick up Stan's tired old body, and in a few days they would send his ashes to me. I would put them in a little wooden box, with a photo of Stan on the front. The box would go on the mantle over the fireplace, alongside five other boxes.
One day, when my time came, I would be cremated as well, and my final wish was that all of our ashes be mixed together and sprinkled upon the dark blue waters of the Pacific Ocean that I could see every day from my window.
A few days passed, and during that time I missed Stan terribly.
On a Friday night I went down to the corner store to grab some sodas, maybe some root beer. Hunkered down beside a trashcan and licking the inside of a discarded Andes ice cream sandwich wrapper was a little cat. The little half-Siamese, half-whatever had blue eyes and a mottled coat.
She looked up at me, licking her whiskers clean, giving her head a shake as if something was in her ears. Her coat was filthy. This little one needed a good bath and a visit to the vet.
She looked up at me and I knew. I just knew.
"Andy," I said. She was a girl, but what the hell. "Want to come home with me, Andy?"
The little half-Siamese let out a meow like a squeaking hinge.
"Okay," I said.
I picked her up and carried her home.
User Reviews
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-01-17 13:12:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What's your address?
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-01-17 13:12:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck you.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2007-01-13 23:42:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-01-12 14:05:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i knew you didn't have this much of a heart.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2007-01-12 11:11:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAAA.
But whom killed him and why?
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-12 07:13:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
PLAGIARIZOR http://www.ubersite.com/m/97581
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-01-11 23:42:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2007-01-11 12:51:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:09:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, come on Jack. It's funny.
---
You are truly a changed man when it comes to the issue of plagiarism.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/26861
-----------------
Q, you don't understand the shenanigans this is in reference to. Go look at my most recent post.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-01-11 13:52:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-11 05:08:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
we all plagiarised one of jacks posts
-------------------------------------------------
I've never plagiarized one of Jack's posts. I have however plagiarized one of Jills post. Ya know, when she cums.....she comes tumbling after. After what I don't know. It could be Jack, it could be the water. But as long as she comes. I'm sure Jack is happy.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2007-01-11 12:51:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:09:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, come on Jack. It's funny.
---
You are truly a changed man when it comes to the issue of plagiarism.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/26861
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-11 05:08:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
we all plagiarised one of jacks posts
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-01-11 04:10:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Really good.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-01-11 00:21:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ctrl+C
Ctrl+V
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-10 20:42:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And, we made UberBoard in a tag team victory.
Another successful day.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-10 20:35:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*sniff* Most heated!
You guys love me!
You really love me!
Thank you for all the kind words, I poured my heart and soul into this piece!
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:38:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought I clicked on the post "I hate people" when I read this, and I thought "Method, you old softy."
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:22:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I haven't read anything this shitty since the last time I was able to keep my eyes open through an entire Jack McCallum post.
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:17:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I created this on day 6.
Submitted by ticklish_squirrel (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:55:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack! Stop being a dumbfuck and just let the guy bask in the glow of his masterpiece, will ya?! Jheesh...
Fuckhole
Submitted by Gunslinger (user info) at 2007-01-10 17:01:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I lol'd
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-10 16:46:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
(10) Melted - He is the trickster of under, like a bean from my theology who is here to test us with his wily ways like Briar Rabbit or Satan. He is a fun guy who always stirs the stick and this is made clear because everyone belies that the picture Menthol says is actually him IS actually him when it is odious that he took a picture from the cover of a gay anal movie DBD box and pushed it here. HaHA you are such a wiseacre Minted! To bad you are a Creek because the Geeks make the Italians look like an advantaged sorcery.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-10 16:45:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-10 14:52:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:38:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaha
You're going to get a +2 from thet Horse guy
------
dont forget Wisher and Charlton Heston as well
--
Can't..help.. it...
ahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-10 15:09:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
to be fair, one must read Razor's post immediately before this one for this to make sense...
Submitted by jade_digitalmedia (user info) at 2007-01-10 15:01:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
emo tears.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-01-10 14:55:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
nope. i'm with Jack......ish.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-10 14:52:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:38:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaha
You're going to get a +2 from thet Horse guy
------
dont forget Wisher and Charlton Heston as well
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-01-10 14:52:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
MOST HEATED!
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2007-01-10 14:33:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2007-01-10 14:24:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-10 14:00:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ticklish_squirrel (user info) at 2007-01-10 13:45:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
That was awesome! I'm kinda squishy-hearted anyway, but this one made me tear up a little. Cool idea, dude.
--
ONE IN A SERIES OF GULLIBLE IGNORANT ASSHOLES!
COLLECT 'EM AND TRADE 'EM WITH YOUR FRIENDS!
FUCK!
Submitted by ticklish_squirrel (user info) at 2007-01-10 13:45:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was awesome! I'm kinda squishy-hearted anyway, but this one made me tear up a little. Cool idea, dude.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-01-10 13:23:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-10 13:02:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:43:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
shenanigans
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:46:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:43:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
shenanigans
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:36:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
- Joseph Heller
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:35:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you guys kill me... no seriously.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:34:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shennanigans
What? Razor said I should do it!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:32:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:04:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
Just desserts for all the cheap shots you've been taking at me lately.
Smooches!
---
Spelling mistake
http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/just-deserts.html
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:14:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:09:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, come on Jack. It's funny.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:04:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
Just desserts for all the cheap shots you've been taking at me lately.
Smooches!
--
Yeah? Laugh it up. I've just killed a goat and called down some serious fuckin juju on your heads. Insufferable BASTARDS!
PS- I have NEVER taken a cheap shot.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:09:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, come on Jack. It's funny.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:04:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just desserts for all the cheap shots you've been taking at me lately.
Smooches!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:01:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
... I'm waiting...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:00:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
DIE!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:00:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
die.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:00:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm gonna fuckin kill you if I can get my hands on you.
That may be tough, seeing as how you are always covered in a thin layer of oil.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:54:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaha
C'mon Jack, don't be a poopy diaper. You know you laughed at this, and by law, if you laugh you forefit your right to get mad.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:51:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
he had me at the 'plllleeeeeeeeeease touch me'
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:48:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Metehod, you are fucking hilarious. You had me at hello.
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:44:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've been had!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:43:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this read like a jack mcallum piece of crap.
'a talent for picking lottery numbers'
crap
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:43:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was good, man. Deserves a better rating.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:41:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Jack: http://www.ubersite.com/m/97548
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:40:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
better than the original.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:39:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just following directions, Jack!
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:38:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaha
You're going to get a +2 from thet Horse guy
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:34:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:28:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha you butthole.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:32:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Better than the original
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:32:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:31:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
Through all the shit you talk and male bravado, this is the first thing of yours I've really read. Read and actually enjoyed. Nice one man, nice one.
V
V
V
V
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:32:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:31:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What's your fucking deal?
The Original...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86430
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:31:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Through all the shit you talk and male bravado, this is the first thing of yours I've really read. Read and actually enjoyed. Nice one man, nice one.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:29:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PAGING CHAD CHAMLEY TO THE FRONT DESK...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:28:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
tee hee
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:28:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha you butthole.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:27:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No, wait. Sorry, just used to responding to you with that.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:27:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
shenanigans
Submitted by pannerplant (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:22:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
TLDR