Dreaming Of Sue (835 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.64 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lucinda Periac <lucindaperiac.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2007-01-10 11:24:19 EST
They had all arrived to see the new house and really, it was astonishing to see. Perched resplendently above a chasm that was bare red-tinged rock. The house was completely constructed of glass and steel allowing the guests to marvel over the views below.
She hadn't realised her mother would be there. Who would: given that she'd passed away ten months previously? But there she was, their Sue, her ghost smiling and joking with the others as if that nightmare had never happened. And her relatives, all gathered in the glass house behaved as if it wasn't unusual, but then again she was doing the same. She sat by her mother's ghost content to be in her company once more, she didn't know if this was ever going to happen again so she stuck by her side as if polar forces were keeping her there. She was surprised at how warm the ghost was. She'd expected (well she would have if she could've guessed at chancing upon her mother's ghost) that it would be lifeless and cold. But the spirit emitted the same warmth and love that the live version had on such occasions, because this was where her mother was happiest, in the company of her family and the people she loved.
She saw her sister watching with a beatific expression on her face whilst her fiancé held her hand silently surveying the scene before them. Her dad was on the other side of her mother, holding her ghost hand with a sad expression in his eyes, which belied an intrinsic knowledge, as though he alone knew that this was a temporary visit. Her Grandmother was smiling for the first time in ten months. Her grandfather was walking without his cain for the first time in years. Perhaps today was a day of miracles for them.
People mixed and mingled, chatting about recent occurences within their respective family homes. It seemed that only those most closely connected with Sue were subdued and pensive.
The scene jumps all of a sudden, and she's in a car with her sister - Julia, their cousin - Hayley, and her brother-in-law to be - Tom. They are driving away from the house. She can still see the outline of Sue, stood casually as she always had, one leg turned ever so slightly at an angle, both hands cupping her glass of wine, but one of them constantly in motion: back and forth from the glass as though they were orchestrating her words.
Out of nowhere, the car careens to the right and the driver slams on the brakes. They all jolt forward in their seats on impact. They get out of the car to see what had caused the car to swerve so aggressively.
There, on the road before them, lay a blood red horse with wings that spanned the width of the car at the very least. Nobody knew where it had come from, yet nobody was surprised to see a gigantic winged red horse dead on the road before them. They were so preoccupied with marvelling at the horse, that they did not spot its rider.
The man could not have been more than two feet tall, yet he was definitely a man and not a boy. A line of blood trickled from his mouth into his bushy jet black beard, the skin across his cheekbone was torn away leaving only the bone, blood and gristle behind. He wore a suit of armour, not unlike the type donned by the Knights of the Round Table. She found him when she had stepped around the horse to get a better look at his wings. She picked him up as though he were a baby and cradled the dead rider in her arms, bemoaning the loss, as though he were her own child.
They decided they should give him a funeral, and thought that the ravine below them would be the best place to conduct it. They sombrely marched down the beaten path, she led the way hugging the lifeless body to her breast, as if to prevent it coming to further harm.
When they reached the floor of the valley, the dead horse was, inexplicably, already there, lay by two pre-dug graves that seemed to be the perfect size for each imminent occupant. Tom inspected the horse and discovered that despite its enormous size it was weightless, meaning that they would be able to bury the beast alongside its master.
As they left the freshly upturned ground, after having paid their respects to the dead creature and his tiny Messiah, they all, seemingly on instinct, turned up their eyes, to behold before them a flock of these massive blood red creatures descending to the ground. The flock was led by the biggest of these beasts, yet none of them appeared to be as large as the one they had just sepulchred.
As the majestic animals swooped smoothly to the ground, a minuscule man, somewhat similar to the deceased, slid gracefully from his perch atop the leading beast and bowed humbly to the four enchanted mortals. He spoke to them of a world unknown to mortal beings, whose leader was a humble and just man, this man was the tiny being killed in the crash. The council that stood before them had come to the four mortals to thank them for showing such courtesy to the lifeless body of their Messiah. As a token of their gratitude they granted the four the ability to fly for a period of twenty-four hours so that they may experience the perspective of earth from the heights, the greatest gift they could offer to human beings.
And with one more sweeping curtsy, the tiny being was back on his horse, and leading his council away, bearing the remains of their Messiah and his magnificent beast.
Then I woke up.
User Reviews
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-11 08:36:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i am indifferent towards the last line
Submitted by UberSavedMyLife (user info) at 2007-01-11 05:08:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
When i read back through i agree you're all quite right, last line unncessary, so from this point on, can we ignore it please? i'll think about that series too, could be interesting to work on.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-10 16:47:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by sworn (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:02:32 (#)
Ranking: 1
Then i woke up??? Are you kidding me. This would of been a +2 if that line wasnt there. Worth a read though. Pretty good.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:27:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why the last line!? +2, still.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:21:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've got to agree, the "then I woke up" part wasn't necessary. If the ghost mom and winged horse didn't tell you it was a dream, you need to lay off the wacky tabaky. That said, you're a good writer, and can pull off the surrealistic bit better than a lot of people. Would make an interesting series if you could weave a discernable plot into it without breaking the dreamland feel of it.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:15:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:14:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1.5
Last line was a shame.
Submitted by sworn (user info) at 2007-01-10 12:02:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Then i woke up??? Are you kidding me. This would of been a +2 if that line wasnt there. Worth a read though. Pretty good.
Submitted by pannerplant (user info) at 2007-01-10 11:28:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome