Ushering In A New Era: The Vidwhore (984 hits)
Category: GraphicsLabels: crap
Rating: 0.4 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mr. Scourge (rating too high) (View user info) at 2007-01-10 15:36:01 EST
"We must become the change we want to see in the world" - Gandhi
My friends, it certainly has been a long time.
I've been around but not too actively involved with Ubersite in recent months. There are a lot of reasons for this - little free time, writer's block, personal tragedies, job related stress, etc. - but generally it's been because I simply haven't felt like I've had anything to say. When I have had something to say, I haven't been able to find the time to say it.
What I've noticed in the meantime is that this site is pretty much able to go on without me. By "pretty much", I mean that there is still new stuff every day including a lot of quality things as well as the usual quotient of worthless bullshit. However, the difference is that I feel like the entire thing is losing its vision - its sense of purpose - and the result is that the quality things are obscured by the worthless bullshit, buried in a chaotic mess of teenage angst, annoying catch phrases, and lame cliche web pictures.
To put it bluntly, I think you're all idiots.
To put it slightly more politely, I think 90% of you are idiots. Your lame attempts at humor are topped only by your horrendous attempts at creating basic grammatical structures using the English language. Your mob ruled creative wit ranks alongside feats such as the sinking of the Titanic and the crashing of the Hindenburg in the context of colossal disasters of human civilization.
Take heart though - you are not to blame, at least not entirely. While you should be ashamed of the consequences of your pitiful actions, those who do not act should be more ashamed. Even if you voted for the train wreck that is George W. Bush in the last US presidential election, over one third of the registered voters didn't bother to vote at all.
As Obi Wan Kenobi said in the original Star Wars, "Whose the more foolish - the fool or the fool who follows him?" That doesn't really apply here, but I believe it's close enough that you can see my point nonetheless.
And this friends is why I am here today. Today will be a day long remembered for it has seen the return of Bart Cilfone and it shall soon see the beginning of a new era of Ubersite, dare I say a new era of mankind.
I introduce to you and to the world, the Vidwhore.
While there are plenty of websites out there that bring video directly to you, they tend towards the high brow side of the spectrum - movie trailers, funny commercials, man getting hit in crotch with football, etc. Perform a search on YouTube for the word Vidwhore and you get zero results. A search for the word Vidwhore on all of Google returns a paltry 15 results.
Vidwhore - A person who creates a video with no purpose whatsoever other than to serve as an excuse for publishing a video of himself.
In this case, I recently purchased a MacBook that has a built in iSight camera and decided to record an eighty second video clip of myself reciting the famous courtroom monologue given by Jack Nicholson's character in the movie A Few Good Men. The quality of this video is very poor, I am not impersonating Jack Nicholson, and to be honest there is no reason why anyone in their right mind would want to view this video.
The perfect Vidwhore. Enjoy.
first_ever_vidwhore.mov (1 MB) [application/octet-stream]
User Reviews
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-05-18 12:50:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-01-11 17:22:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You look like Bart...but more feminine.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-11 10:05:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:00:17 (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
===
My first ever review from bart.
*cries softly*
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-10 22:57:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Still wouldn't last a minute inside me.
Submitted by SilentRenegade (user info) at 2007-01-10 21:00:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
i tried the link on windows media player and just got the audio.....*sigh*....
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:24:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're weird, man.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:00:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-10 16:50:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was going to steal yours Jack, but even in bandwagoning I go for the gold.
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2007-01-10 16:37:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-10 16:25:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
marginwalker, i am somewhere toward the bottom.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90842
-------------------------------------------------------
Ah yes - may this mind rest easy.
(And I'm still awaiting random photographs, as promised on other websites)
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-10 16:29:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/89084
I did it too!!!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-10 16:28:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, I got nothin' so fuck you.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-10 16:25:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
marginwalker, i am somewhere toward the bottom.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90842
if you are successful in opening the video, you will only see one Bart Cilfone. this is part of a plagiarism bandwagon that Razor unwittingly started and I mindlessly jumped on. Bart is a handsome devil though and getting it to open it would not be a total waste of time as you could gaze on his magnificent visage whilst being wooed by his dulcet toned voice.
truly a Lord among Men is our Bart.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-01-10 16:20:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I approve
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-01-10 16:14:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2007-01-10 16:05:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
I have no idea what I think a "scourge" looks like, and accordingly, am rather intrigued.
To my (utter) dismay, I cannot open this.
But I'll give you +1 because it is, after all, you.
---
No, it isn't
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2007-01-10 16:05:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have no idea what I think a "scourge" looks like, and accordingly, am rather intrigued.
To my (utter) dismay, I cannot open this.
But I'll give you +1 because it is, after all, you.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-10 16:01:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The link works just fine for me.
scourge? Bart? Who knows. All you "fringe of middle America" people look the same to me.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-01-10 15:59:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wait... was that bart? I'm so fucking confused. Is this a repost bandwagon thing?
+2 because I am going to go sit in the corner now for awhile.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-10 15:58:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Video worked for me.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2007-01-10 15:56:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It didn't work but here's to idiocy.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-01-10 15:54:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It tried to open it in my quick time player, which said it didn't have everything neccessary for running the movie, and couldn't find what it was looking for on the quicktime server.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-10 15:44:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
does the link even work?
it sure doesn't for me.
i spent so much time on that vidwhore too. you guys would have loved the manly intonations when i screamed 'YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH'
it made every vagina in a 300 mile radius instantly wet when i did it
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-10 15:43:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
CHAD CHAMLEY IS SO FUCKING HOT
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-10 15:42:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...there needs to be more of these. Perhaps I'll give it a go.
[That notion will make a few people cringe!]
weee!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-10 15:41:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PLAGIARISM
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2007-01-10 15:41:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahah
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-10 15:36:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
QUALITY