Pink Cloud (2402 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: 0.43 on 120 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by This ain't Shlongy (View user info) at 2007-01-10 18:16:28 EST
I sat on the edge of my brother's bed and watched the videotape to the end. It didn't take long. He must have recorded this himself, long ago, from some TV special. The picture quality was terrible, jumpy and smeared, but I knew what I was looking at.
My brother's name was Marty. He was my older brother. Today he would be described as developmentally disabled, but Marty wasn't afraid to call himself a retard.
"My name is Marty," he would say to complete strangers, in slightly slurred speech. "I am a retard. But I am also a really nice guy."
Some of the people hearing this for the first time laughed or made fun of him. It was inevitable. But most people just smiled. Marty made a hell of a lot of people smile in his day.
I came home for Marty's funeral three days ago. He wasn't supposed to make it past thirty, so the last eight years were a gift. I was busy with work and my own family, but I always came back to the old family home to be with mom and dad and Marty on the holidays.
On this trip home I was filled with guilt, because part of me was relieved Marty had died in his sleep. I often wondered who would take care of him after mom and dad were gone. I loved my brother dearly, but he was like a six year old. He could drive you nuts.
I decided to attend the funeral without my wife and son. I figured he was a bit too young for that just yet. Anna stayed home with him. When he thought of Marty he thought of a funny clown who got down on the floor and played with him. I didn't want to spoil that just yet.
I rode my bike home, just a couple of hundred miles. I wore the battered old steel pot I'd been wearing for twelve years now, the one with the dimple on one side. The helmet was not DOT approved, but I wouldn't wear anything else. When I wore it, I thought of Marty.
Marty had given me the helmet as a birthday gift after I got my first bike. I was living on my own at that time, and had come home for a family birthday party.
I don't know where Marty found the helmet. It was scarred and streaked with rust, the steel shell lined with nylon webbing and old foam which I had long ago replaced.
Marty had been having a bad day then, feeling a lot of pain, but as he sat in his wheelchair in the back yard and wished me happy birthday he was nothing but smiles. Aside from my wife and son Marty was the only person I was ever able to openly express my feelings with. I could say, "I love you, big bro," and Marty would grin and give me a slobbery kiss on the cheek. He did that when I was a kid too, and I caught hell for it in school.
Marty had held up his birthday present to me, the wrapping paper torn and held together with about a thousand strips of tape, the ribbon lopsided. I opened the package and took out the helmet.
My brother had pointed upward and said, "For you, Petey. To keep away the pink cloud."
I looked up at a cloudless blue sky. That was Marty for you.
Almost as an afterthought Marty said, "You can wear it on your motorbike too!"
And so I did. I got a lot of weird looks. This was before a lot of the retro bike helmets you see now became stylish. Fuck it. I wore it because my big bro gave it to me. Every so often out on the road I'd look up at the sky and wonder what the hell Marty had been talking about when he mentioned the pink cloud. Marty said a lot of weird shit.
A year ago I was running late on my way home from work. I was on my bike. It was a Friday evening, and I had to stop at a bank machine downtown for some cash to get us through the weekend.
I hopped off the bike and waited in line. When my turn came I pulled out three hundred in cash and turned to see a kid holding a gun on me.
The kid was an idiot. He was standing fifteen feet away and demanding my cash. He was standing on the sidewalk in full view of passing cars, and already I could see people on their cell phones, hopefully calling the cops.
I told the kid to calm down when a police cruiser came roaring around the corner. I turned my head and heard a bang and was rocked off my feet as if I had been hit with a sledgehammer.
The kid had panicked and pulled the trigger.
The bullet had left a dimple in the goofy steel helmet my brother had given me. The cops bagged the kid and made me sit tight until paramedics checked me out. I was fine. One of the cops later told me that if I hadn't been wearing that steel helmet, the gunshot probably would have blown my brains out.
A day later I called my mom and dad and told then what happened. They relayed the story to Marty and I could hear his gurgling laughter in the background through the entire call.
Life went on.
Marty died.
Now I'm in his room, going though his things. Mom and dad didn't ask me to, but they are hurting right now.
Marty and I shared this room, a long, long time ago. On the dresser beside the little TV and VCR is a model plane we built together. The decals are wrinkled and torn. Marty wanted to put them on. Our bunk bed had been replaced by a steel frame job from a medical supply house long ago.
I was going through a box of his things when I found a videotape. The black plastic case was grimy and worn, as if it had been in and out of Marty's VCR a thousand times.
Sitting in Marty's room I said, "What the hell, big bro?"
I put the VCR in his machine and hit play.
There was only about forty seconds of footage on the tape.
I saw a limousine coming down a road. A man in a suit waved to the crowd on one side of the road, a lady in a pink hat waved to the other side. The car passed behind a road sign, and when it reappeared, the man was shot in the head.
A pink cloud of brains and blood hovered over the man's head for just a moment before he slumped and the limousine sped away.
I rewound the tape and watched it again, and again. I had seen that footage before. Who hasn't?
Now I was seeing it through Marty's eyes.
And I wondered. Had he known, over a decade ago, what would happen to me at that bank machine? Or had he given me the steel helmet out of some silly childish fear of a deadly pink cloud that could, in his eyes, strike anyone at any time?
Did it really matter?
I was alive.
I looked around the empty room and said, "Thanks, big bro."
My brother's name was Marty. Marty was a retard. But he was also a really nice guy.
11.22.63
User Reviews
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-02-06 15:47:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-02-06 15:42:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't even fuck with me Shithead. I will -2 every single post of yours in a moment's notice. I don't care if I get banned...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-30 13:15:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2007-01-26 16:27:44 (#)
Ranking: -2
christ
--
AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Now that's funny.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-30 12:56:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-30 12:14:02 (#)
Ranking: -2
does anyone realize this stupid fuck just stole this from someone else and reposted it?
Yeah, they realize it. They're not all as fucking stupid as you are, dickhead.
Did you also notice that this has more hits than the original? Shlongy rules and the sooner you realize that, the better off the rest of your pathetic life will be.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-30 12:44:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You know what sucks?
When you piss all over someone's post; and tell them they suck ass...and they come in YOUR post and say the nicest things.
If I had a conscience, I'd fell horrible about this.
Submitted by swimmingbirdblue (user info) at 2007-01-30 12:22:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was good.
By the way, I'm a retard.
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-30 12:14:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
does anyone realize this stupid fuck just stole this from someone else and reposted it?
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2007-01-28 04:52:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy knows his hockey goons, +2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-26 21:57:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-26 16:57:35 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2007-01-26 16:27:44 (#)
Ranking: -2
christ
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-26 16:57:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2007-01-26 16:27:44 (#)
Ranking: -2
christ
Submitted by blackeyedbitch (user info) at 2007-01-26 15:51:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
whore
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-01-26 05:57:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You've always been on my ass, like a fucking tick... a blood-sucking tick.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-22 13:03:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This got WAY more hits than the original, Jack.
Your thoughts on that?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-16 22:37:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wookie- perhaps you should take the time to read some of the earlier reviews.
I mean, i hate to disappoint you - that word doesn't look right - but I do not like to take credit where credit is not due.
doo doo.
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2007-01-16 03:06:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not something I would expect from Shlongy.......
Good though.
Nice.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-15 10:15:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Take any pictures of it?
I could use a new screen saver.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2007-01-14 22:00:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just shot a pink cloud out my ass.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-13 18:12:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I come back from a beautiful, relaxing round of golf to read that faggot "threatening" me again?
Buahahahahahahahah..."you told me before"...Like anyone gives a fuck what you have to say. If you had pets THEY wouldn't even listen to you.
You had your chance, asshole...you chose to sit in front of your computer for 48 consecutive hours typing jibberish.
I'll let you know when I get to 50, fucktard...and I'll be in Atlanta again in the next 6 weeks.
We'll have tea.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-13 13:16:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
my god bret you are a fucking loser.
Submitted by fclo002 (user info) at 2007-01-13 10:23:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-01-12 21:24:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck off, Andy, you're fucking Shlongy II. Go brag about all your mom to your favorite phone sex operator.
Meanwhile, Shlongy, I'm not intimidated by your net threat about punching my teeth down my throat. You're freaking 140 pounds and 5'5". I doubt you could beat up a jr. high school girl.
-------------
Wait wait wait wait wait.
Shlongy's threatening people again?
Jeff, what have I told you about this? Remember what happened last time you tried to act like you weren't a paltry little wimp who couldn't fight his way through a cobweb?
There is a law of averages here I'd like to see pan out. That is, 1 out of every 50 or so people you threaten might actually have the gall to follow through on it.
I'd say you're on 30 or so. Keep it up, Tyson.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2007-01-13 08:56:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
obviously a +2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-13 07:58:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fried fish is nasty dude
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-13 07:46:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-12 22:10:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
ooooooh you can tell when the homos are being really fagalicious they refer to each other as "kenny" and "andy".
gaylords.
in other news - i've lost an Indian designer who was supposed to arrive in Calgary at 17:20.
Check under your couch cushions. I always find lost things there.
I'm going golfing.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-12 22:10:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ooooooh you can tell when the homos are being really fagalicious they refer to each other as "kenny" and "andy".
gaylords.
in other news - i've lost an Indian designer who was supposed to arrive in Calgary at 17:20.
Oh well.
Plenty of them around I suppose.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-01-12 21:24:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck off, Andy, you're fucking Shlongy II. Go brag about all your mom to your favorite phone sex operator.
Meanwhile, Shlongy, I'm not intimidated by your net threat about punching my teeth down my throat. You're freaking 140 pounds and 5'5". I doubt you could beat up a jr. high school girl.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-12 21:10:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Went out for a fish fry...two drinks later, we're home about to watch some shitty movie we rented.
It was a rough week.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-01-12 21:01:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
no, I thought this was original.
what the fuck are you doing at home on a Friday, Shlongy?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-12 20:53:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You changed your mind between 5:30 and 7:30pm, Unabonger?
What are you, a broad?
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-01-12 19:27:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Meh.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-12 18:56:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-01-12 18:12:53 (#)
Ranking: -1
who was the original poster on this?
You REALLY think a -1 will get you a straight answer, you fucking genius?
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-01-12 18:45:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Turns out you have rated me 76 times for a -0.05 . I figure I deserved it.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-01-12 18:38:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-01-12 18:12:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
who was the original poster on this?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-12 17:40:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You may want to consider keeping those "feelings" to yourself, pal.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-01-12 17:32:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like you.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2007-01-12 15:13:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Stolen or not, Fartman likey.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2007-01-12 14:09:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's good to see that you're still worthless.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-12 12:55:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Done? I'm just getting started.
Sit back, relax, and enjoy the shit flinging.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-01-12 12:18:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Aren't you idiot lemmings done yet?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-12 11:57:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Shlongy is a fucking heat machine.
Which, in an ironic twist, I also have in my pants.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-01-12 11:40:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For the reviews.
Submitted by GMCrayon (user info) at 2007-01-12 11:02:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-12 09:54:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
i would LOVE to see a bitch-off between kaelic, mccallum and tom sorrell.
______________________________________
ETS will pwn them all.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-12 10:43:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-12 09:54:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
i would LOVE to see a bitch-off between kaelic, mccallum and tom sorrell.
Good grief, there's not enough Kleenex, computer MB, or K-Y Jelly on Earth to pull that one off.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-12 09:54:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i would LOVE to see a bitch-off between kaelic, mccallum and tom sorrell.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-01-12 09:22:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
shut up, Kenny. go outside sometime.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-12 00:06:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-01-11 20:01:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you can right good
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-11 18:28:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I gave it a +2 the first time, as well.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-11 18:26:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess I've never reviewed any of your posts, so here...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-11 18:17:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Whoa! Don't hit me with your purse! That'll leave a mark.
Right before I punch your teeth down your throat.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-01-11 18:12:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Exactly. Thanks for posting that. I've rated this cock slobber 14 times, and he's rated me 91 times. 91 fucking times. Get a god damn life you fucking stalker, jesus. Did you target the person you're attracted to the most, or simply the most threatened by?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-11 17:36:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's a swell motto.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-01-11 17:22:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
All asshole, all the time? Youre alright with me.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-11 17:17:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's stolen alright.
It's going to be my new Uber strategy for 2007.
All plagiarizing, all the time.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-01-11 17:12:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Stolen or not, I liked it.
Submitted by Dexter-Brown (user info) at 2007-01-11 16:10:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-01-11 13:42:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Seriously, I wish I had that software that lets you see how many times someone has rated you. I guarantee for like the last year you've rated every single thing I've posted. Seriously, leave me the fuck alone and grow up.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
-1.58 on 91 reviews? Not bad.
http://ubersite.com/cgi-bin/moreinfo.cgi?uber=shlongy
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-11 15:29:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You can't fool Apollo, nosireebob.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-11 15:21:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this reads like a jack mccallum piece of crap
+2 for pissing that little bitch off
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-11 13:49:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Here, have a Kleenex, you whiney fagouche.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-01-11 13:42:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh, you're only proving my point you sad little retard. Does your wife know you're gay yet, or does she just silently put up with your homosexual affairs?
Seriously, I wish I had that software that lets you see how many times someone has rated you. I guarantee for like the last year you've rated every single thing I've posted. Seriously, leave me the fuck alone and grow up.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-11 12:57:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You've got a lot of nerve asking permission to plagiarize from me, pal.
(Never ask, just do it.)
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2007-01-11 12:56:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait...who's gay again? I'm getting confused.
One thing I do know is that this is the kind of literature that people win Pulitzers for. Mind if I plagiarize it?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-11 12:49:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm a stalker?
I leave one review on your posts and I'M A STALKER?
bauahauahauahahahahaa
You're a funny guy.
Also, thanks for the three hits and responses in the last 4 minutes.
You're not chemically imbalanced. Nope...Not you.
Now get outta here! There's dick to be sucked in Florida!
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-01-11 12:42:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude, seriously, get a life. You're like my fucking stalker. Everything I post, everything I rate, you are right there with some bland, uninspired comment about being gay, trying to hide the fact that you're gay by calling other people it. Really transparent. There's a lot of venom in my words because I really do think you are the biggest dipshit retard ever, but I'm not sitting here wringing my hands in tense anticipation or anything. Sorry to disappoint you. Can you go internet stalk somebody else, now?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-11 12:35:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, dicklick.
It's REAL OBVIOUS that "nothing I say bothers you".
BUahauahauahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHuaahauahahahahah
That's a good one, Sally. Nice response.
Now don't go "holding your breath until you pass out" on us.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-01-11 12:28:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're still a faggot, and just to let you know, nothing you say bothers me. I consider you a twerpy old guy who compensates for his small, flaccid penis and incredible impotence by acting like an internet tough guy. Dude, who are you fooling? Yourself, maybe. You're the person they're referencing when people refer to sad, loser assholes on the internet. You've got to be the dumbest, most over-rated cocksucker on this entire website.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-11 12:22:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Things are heating up...good to see.
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2007-01-11 12:10:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I give you +1 for pissing Jack off. heh heh *snort*
btw, good work Jack.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-11 12:00:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of his boyfriend's bed today.
Come on, relax...have a cup of coffee...suck the dick in front of you...and smile.
It's a beautiful day to be alive.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-01-11 11:57:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You are such a closet case faggot. Take this negative two and choke on it like you choke all the dick down in the bus station men's room you balding piece of dog shit pedophile.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-11 11:25:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Isn't it though?
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2007-01-11 11:14:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Better than the original.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-11 11:07:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't obey rules.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-11 10:11:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:33:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
i can see why jack's jealous. it WAS well plagarized.
===
auto -2 circle jerk
sorry, thems the rules.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-11 09:05:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Those fucking quizzes....Sheeeeesh
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-11 06:45:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack still has the Charlton_H alter - he used the old trick of supposedly giving out the user name and password, but never gave out the real password in the first place.
This was fantastic work my man, I didn't know you had it in you! I expect to see more of this sort of thing in the future, as well as more quizzes.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-01-11 06:00:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
yawn-O-rama
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-01-11 02:35:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-10 20:37:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Why are YOU upset, Beano?
No cock to suck this evening?
---------------
too much as a matter of fact.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2007-01-11 01:47:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
QUInT
Submitted by Webered (user info) at 2007-01-11 00:47:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I haven't been to the site in awhile but I can see you still grind your face into a wall of shit until you get some inkling of inspiration.
----------------
I apologize, I was wrong to say that. Word on the Uberstreet is that you didn't even come up with the idea. Well done.
So that shit-wall is just a pass-time is it? Seems appropriate.
Submitted by Webered (user info) at 2007-01-11 00:38:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I sat on the edge of my brother's bed and watched the videotape to the end. It didn't take long. He must have recorded this himself, long ago, from some TV special. The picture quality was terrible, jumpy and smeared, but I knew what I was looking at.
-------------------
So your brother allows himself to be gang-raped by a bunch of twisted dudes, tapes it and convieniently leaves it in your room for your viewing pleasure. Of course, you watch it until the end, seeing as how his genes are quite similar to yours. You know that saying about "runs in the family" yada yada. [Insert random insult here].
I haven't been to the site in awhile but I can see you still grind your face into a wall of shit until you get some inkling of inspiration.
I get linked to Ubersite only to be painfully reminded of how much you suck. And here, I thought you would have killed yourself by now.
I was much happier five minutes ago when I still had completely forgotten about your sorry existence.
Oh well, I can still scrounge a wry smile by giving you this rating. It's from the heart.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-10 23:32:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You'd be better off writing about how you "pink socked" a gir...guy.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-10 23:25:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Even if I didn't know beforehand that this had already been posted, I'd have stopped at the word "videotape" and called bullshit. There's no way Shlongy's comfortable with multisyllabic words.
Submitted by DanJaines (user info) at 2007-01-10 22:08:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Here iit is folks as expectorated.
When there is no agument to be made expect the homosex rebounder.
Look at my balls.
Feel my balls.
Lik my balls.
Mr. Balls.
What gabage.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-10 22:01:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
But my balls are huge.
You should know, Danny.
You tried to lick them.
Submitted by DanJaines (user info) at 2007-01-10 21:59:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Evrybody likes the tiny man.
Tiny balled man.
Schlongey is tiny
Submitted by pannerplant (user info) at 2007-01-10 21:51:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Awesome
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2007-01-10 21:26:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Kristen's pregnant?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-10 21:21:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-10 20:17:59 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:29:24 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:19:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:11:15 (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks for linking to the original as well, fuckhead. At least the others guys gave credit TO THE FUCKING WRITER OF THE STORY.
That's the beauty of the way I WRITE, Jack. I don't have time - or interest - to 'source".
So, in conclusion, fuck off. You sound jealous.
Jealous of the asshole who plagiarized MY OWN work?
Fuck you, asshat.
EXACTLY. You're jealous over your own work. It's perplexing, that's for sure.
BTW, next time you respond, you may want to check out which alter you're responding with, you stupid fuck.
Make sure Charleton votes early and often for you during Round 46 of UberMadness, ya goddamn crybaby.
=======
TRY TO KEEP UP WITH THE CHANGES, OLD MAN...
I gave up that password and Method bagged it in .07 seconds...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/97412#2269902
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-05 18:46:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Honestly, despite all the shit you hear, this is the first alter I've had in years. Years.
And because I am about to go out the door and head home I fuck it up.
DAMN!
Well, fuck this.
username: Charlton_H
password: blessed
Fuck.
Submitted by I_love_Kracka (user info) at 2007-01-10 21:12:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I just wanted to rate something of yours. Shlongy - you are my hero!!!!
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-10 21:11:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Somebody else wrote this. It was good when they did it, it sucked when you stole it.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2007-01-10 21:03:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 just because marty is a good name for a retard.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-10 20:37:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why are YOU upset, Beano?
No cock to suck this evening?
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-01-10 20:19:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck you/
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-10 20:19:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:33:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
i can see why jack's jealous. it WAS well plagarized.
The true fans, the highly educated ones, or one, has spoken.
Thanks, sweetie pie.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-10 20:17:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:29:24 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:19:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:11:15 (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks for linking to the original as well, fuckhead. At least the others guys gave credit TO THE FUCKING WRITER OF THE STORY.
That's the beauty of the way I WRITE, Jack. I don't have time - or interest - to 'source".
So, in conclusion, fuck off. You sound jealous.
Jealous of the asshole who plagiarized MY OWN work?
Fuck you, asshat.
EXACTLY. You're jealous over your own work. It's perplexing, that's for sure.
BTW, next time you respond, you may want to check out which alter you're responding with, you stupid fuck.
Make sure Charleton votes early and often for you during Round 46 of UberMadness, ya goddamn crybaby.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:57:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
like i said...phoning it in.
Good thing you got that Tour exemption, or else they might not even let you post any more...
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:33:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i can see why jack's jealous. it WAS well plagarized.
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:29:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:19:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:11:15 (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks for linking to the original as well, fuckhead. At least the others guys gave credit TO THE FUCKING WRITER OF THE STORY.
That's the beauty of the way I WRITE, Jack. I don't have time - or interest - to 'source".
So, in conclusion, fuck off. You sound jealous.
Jealous of the asshole who plagiarized MY OWN work?
Fuck you, asshat.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:19:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:11:15 (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks for linking to the original as well, fuckhead. At least the others guys gave credit TO THE FUCKING WRITER OF THE STORY.
That's the beauty of the way I WRITE, Jack. I don't have time - or interest - to 'source".
So, in conclusion, fuck off. You sound jealous.
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:19:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
And you left off the goddamn picture!
Submitted by SAM_420 (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:12:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How come I've read this somewhere before. I think it was on this web site even.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:12:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant! I read the entire thing thoroughly.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:11:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks for linking to the original as well, fuckhead. At least the others guys gave credit TO THE FUCKING WRITER OF THE STORY.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:10:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You old pile of shit.
Submitted by fclo002 (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:59:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:17:02 (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm a damn good writer, when I put my mind to it.
------
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:54:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. All this time I thought that there was nothing in there but insults, a obsession for TigerLilly, 2 dogs and golf. You are apparently a real human being Shlongy. Good stuff.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:52:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It took you three months to write this?
You sure you're not a retard too?
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:47:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff, no doubt about it. But what's with the Marty stories, first Loki, now you. Is it an ubermadness topic?
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:47:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dont set the bar too high lest you trip over it
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:44:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Great Read! Brilliant! Never seen it before in my life!
(and yes I do get the point)
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:43:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fucken prick.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:41:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Neither did I, homoshotforu
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:40:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Didn't like it.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:28:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I support this
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:24:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:21:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nothing to say.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:20:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this was brilliant shlong
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:19:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Pick a Number set the bar pretty high.
I think I nailed it with this one. Took me three months to finish it.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:18:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
brilliant work. your best to date, other than Pick A Number
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:17:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm a damn good writer, when I put my mind to it.
Now, what exactly is this piece of shit about?