I hate people. (556 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.23 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Aristides Sweetmeat (View user info) at 2007-01-10 19:02:39 EST
Look at a few of their fucking choice awards!
Favorite female movie star: Jennifer Aniston
Despite having a face like a shovel (not the typical square-shaped shovel used to describe someone "shovel-faced", but the shovel with the rounded edges, for better digging), she seems to have a few semi-likeable qualities. Except for the fact that she doesn't actually play in movies that dont involve romantic problems with whatever loser she's dating in real life. Great choice, America.
Favorite Leading Lady: Cameron Diaz
Wait a second. What the fuck is the difference between favorite leading lady and favorite movie star? God damn it, what? Also, no tits.
Favorite Leading Man: Vince Vaughn
This is the kind of thing that makes me think everyone who voted for this must live in New Jersey. A talentless loser who gravy trains his shovel-faced girlfriend into pansy movies where she treats him like shit and he never punches her in the face, despite the two black eyes she apparently gave him. This one couldn't even play Jon Favreau in a movie.
Favorite on-screen matchup: Johnny Depp and Keira Knightley
Do they even spend more than 10 minutes of this movie together, yet alone "match up"? Where is that Lord of the Rings faggot?
Favorite Funny Male Star: Robin Williams
Name me Robin Williams' last funny movie. Go ahead. I defy you. You can't do it, can you.
Favorite Tv Comedy: Two and a Half Men
Check out that Charlie Sheen! He sure enjoys banging chicks. It's too bad his neurotic brother will never have his chick-banging skills. Luckily, he's also saddled with a fat, obnoxious, disrespectful son. That will really bring in the poon. Hilarity ensues.
Favorite Group: Nickelback
It's ironic that America's favorite group is named after what happens when you turn in an aluminum can at the recycling center, because their sound is, well, recycled. Or is it? Who the hell knows? Have you even heard a Nickelback song in the last five years? What kind of person enjoys Nickelback? I have no idea. I don't even know anyone who owns any of their CDs. Frankly, I blame this on the Midwest.
Favorite Comedy: Click
I havent seen this, so Im just going to assume it was a piece of shit. Or at least, not any better than Borat.
Drama: Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest
Sure, it was a "dramatic" masterpiece in its day, but will it really stand the test of time, immortalized in the hall of great dramatic pictures alongside The Ringer, or Beerfest? I would have to believe the film needed a few more shots of Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom swiping at each other with swords, only to fail and find themselves chopping down coconuts which proceeded to fall on their heads, in order to be truly complete. After all, what's a movie about a transvestite pirate without a little slapstick comedy?
User Reviews
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2007-01-12 06:23:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-11 17:20:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't argue...
If American celebrities were a "race" I would support their genocide...
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I support the Genocide of Americans too.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-12 03:10:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-11 17:20:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't argue...
If American celebrities were a "race" I would support their genocide...
Submitted by dexpaxas (user info) at 2007-01-11 16:53:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now this is the real reason why I come to Uber. Hate.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2007-01-11 16:51:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That's a sad thing to bitch about.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-11 16:38:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Youre' just jealous because you didnt get nominated for Best Fake Gold Jewelry Salesman
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2007-01-11 14:32:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Was this from Nickelodeon?
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2007-01-11 08:44:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome. I hate Cameron Diaz with the fiery burning passion of a thousand suns.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2007-01-10 22:33:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-01-10 22:12:27 (#)
Ranking: 1
Death to Smoochie.
________________________________
Fucking rights!
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-01-10 22:12:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Death to Smoochie.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-01-10 21:48:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This sucked. Here's how you do it right:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73837
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2007-01-10 21:17:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not as bad as I expected from the reviews and title. Still, not great. And you seem somewhat of an imbecile.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-01-10 21:14:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I hate people too.
Right now though, I hate YOU in particular.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2007-01-10 21:10:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
teh ghey
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-10 21:05:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
what the fuck were you even doing reading it in the first place?
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-01-10 20:59:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Despite the title, I enjoyed this.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:43:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't hate people.
I DO hold humanity in contempt, though. So I suppose the sentiment is similar. I don't agree with much of what you wrote except for the part about Nickleback.
Fuck them.
You eek out a +1.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:40:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:09:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
Correspondence from people who cant spell "too", it's like Valentine's Day in junior high all over again.
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... and how do you feel about punctuation?
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:38:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Next you'll be telling me that the grammies are crap.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:23:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Me, too.
Starting with you.
Submitted by Evil_Morg (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:16:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i also hate people.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:14:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Whoever said it was a good post? I didnt.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:11:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, It's like in the army.
I also think that brit actors far outweigh the american actors in terms of talent, the americans tend to just look prettier.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:11:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, put me in my place.
A typo in a response does not a good post make.
Dipshit.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:09:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Correspondence from people who cant spell "too", it's like Valentine's Day in junior high all over again.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-01-10 19:06:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Dear Aristides Sweetmeat,
We hate you to. Since there are less of you than us, kindly die.
Sincerely,
People.