UberMadnessIV! - Round 7 Wrap Up (2418 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 1.1 on 178 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Snark << snarkk.at.gmail.com (View user info) at 2007-01-15 23:56:47 EST
This is it folks, we're down to the last matches.
No beating around the bush. Here's who wrote what and who won:
(Winners First)
charminglybeef ParlorTrick Stronghold
stevie_says JMG114 Old Souls
FunnyAsCancer Pentameter The Breakdown
Special mention goes out to both writer's of Stronghold who's stories should not be missed!
Here's the matches for round 8.
GOOD LUCK!
.JPG)
User Reviews
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-01-29 20:03:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's true.
With no one else to turn to I gushed about my incontinence and waning libido.
Thanks for listening, FAC.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-29 10:59:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Beef and I talked a while back. He implied that he was much older than 24.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-01-28 18:17:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm 24, by the way.
Never would have guessed you were only 19, FAC...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-28 12:31:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-28 11:02:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Even though that guy may have been the only guy to say it, I know a lot of people were thinking it. I'm quite sure a lot more people were sad Stevie lost than were glad I won. And it's honestly disheartening, which is why I reacted like that.
--
If you are ever as bored as Maltese go back and read some of the comments in UMII. Everyone predicted I would bite the bag in every round, and I ate a lot of shit. If you win this thing I'll be too busy laughing my fucking ass off to feel pissed or bitter.
Go Underdog! Go FAC!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-28 12:28:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Listen, FAC, I've been working out in the yard while listening to a little Benny Goodman and pre-Capitol-era Sinatra on my old Bakelite Philco and as soon as I slather on some denture cream and some hemorrhoid cream and some Aspercreme I'm gonna kick your ass for implying that I am old.
As the King of Smug (according to some) I say let FAC toot his own horn. He made it to the 2nd to last round of Ubermadness. It's not a cure for cancer, but then again, there are only 3 of us here out of how many who came out of the starting gate?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-28 11:24:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
CB is "easily" 38 years old? Really?
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-01-28 11:15:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah. Put it in a sock, FAC.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-01-28 11:13:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I mean, I would tell you to get laid instead, but sex is just too much effort with the chasing women down and fighting off the mace.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-01-28 11:11:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I dunno. I'm rambling now, and I'm pretty sure everyone either thinks:
1) I need to lighten the fuck up
2) I need to shut the fuck up
3) I'm the queerest fucker on the planet
4) All of the above
-------------------
I got you at 5) Too much pent up stress.
Leech some porn off of someone elses computer and rub one out real quick, it'll help ya.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-28 11:02:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I know I'll never, ever get back to a truly neutral standing, but here goes.
I'm sorry for what I said there, over-reaction or not. And I genuinely mean that. You may think I'm a jerk, or bipolar, or whatever, but it's true.
It's just this competition actually means something to me, for whatever reason. I really, *really* want to win it. I'm 19 years old, barely out of high school, and I'm competing with the big boys. Jack and Beef, they're both at least twice my age and probably have way more times the experience.
I guess you could call it proving myself. Nobody really is rooting for me to win, so that factor's even moreso.
Even though that guy may have been the only guy to say it, I know a lot of people were thinking it. I'm quite sure a lot more people were sad Stevie lost than were glad I won. And it's honestly disheartening, which is why I reacted like that.
I dunno. I'm rambling now, and I'm pretty sure everyone either thinks:
1) I need to lighten the fuck up
2) I need to shut the fuck up
3) I'm the queerest fucker on the planet
4) All of the above
So yeah. I'm just gonna shut up now. I'll try not to say anything, anymore. Sorry.
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2007-01-28 10:40:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I see no controversy here. The basket made it in before the buzzer, the judge voted in accordance to the predefined rules- FAC wins. To be 'robbed' of something suggests you had it in the first place.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-28 09:31:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Not surprisingly, only about 6 of you dipshits give a shit.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-28 08:41:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
STEVE GOT ROBBED
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-01-28 07:23:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
put a sock in it FAC
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-01-28 06:41:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-28 06:24:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
So um...yeah. Kindly shut the fuck up. I feel bad enough I beat Stevie fairly, I don't want you assholes believing I got in through deception, as well.
------------------------------------------
This is the point where everyone thinks you are being a blubbering cunt. No need to respond to what one person says, and fairly obviously is saying it in a joking matter. Frankie says relax...actually, fuck that, you need the opposite, go ahead and go to it.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-28 06:24:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Um...I know it completely sucks, the way Stevie lost, but the way I won was totally by the books.
Pentameter got the tying vote in on time. 17 seconds early, but yeah, she made the deadline. (For which I thank her greatly, and take back every negative thing I might have ever said about her.)
And Snark picked my story in the Uberlord-tying-vote scenario. As per the rules.
So um...yeah. Kindly shut the fuck up. I feel bad enough I beat Stevie fairly, I don't want you assholes believing I got in through deception, as well.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2007-01-28 03:05:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OKay,Stevie totally gotr robbed...again. the rules are unfair, but i'm pretty sure you already knowm that. Stevie's being way tom nice about thisl You're all a bunch assholes ammd now stevie not gooma post anymore.
BOYCOTT UBERMADNESS
BOYCOTT UBERMADNESS
BOYCOTT UBERMADNESS
BOYCOTT UBERMADNESS
BOYCOTT UBERMADNESS
BOYCOTT UBERMADNESS
BOYCOTT UBERMADNESS
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BOYCOTT UBERMADNESS
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BOYCOTT UBERMADNESS
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BOYCOTT UBERMADNESS
BOYCOTT UBERMADNESS
BOYCOTT UBERMADNESS
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-01-26 23:54:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ouch man, 17 seconds away from the win. Is this going to become an anual thing with Snark fucking you up the ass?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-26 20:29:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Will 'The Curse of the Bye' strike charminglybeef?
Stay tuned!!!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-26 19:30:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-24 21:35:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I might have done what I didn't think I was going to do.
===
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-01-24 23:31:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, I think you did!
===
I can't tell you how difficult it was for me. Both you and Jack surprised me in this round. I thought you both took a different approach than I would have expected, but enjoyed each so much. In the end, it may have come down to my mood at the time. I knew what I was doing when I did it, but went with the honest approach. Of course I'm thrilled that you get the bye; you know I'd love you even if you killed me.
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2007-01-26 15:54:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent writing this round as expected. Congrats to the winners.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-26 14:30:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-26 14:09:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
After this we'll finally have the seedings finished and we can get this show moving!
--
We have to perform some sort of SEEDING ritual?
Do we submit photographs of this onanistic act, or is a signed testament from an independent witness okay?
What would have happened if a girl was in the final three?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-26 14:09:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:54:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:39:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
I say three-way Battle Royale for the crown. Three entries, one title.
But I highly doubt the public would fully comprehend it. It'd be butterfly ballot-ish.
--
But then we can't drag this out until April as originally promised!
=======================
You're kidding right?
After this we'll finally have the seedings finished and we can get this show moving!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:54:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:39:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
I say three-way Battle Royale for the crown. Three entries, one title.
But I highly doubt the public would fully comprehend it. It'd be butterfly ballot-ish.
--
But then we can't drag this out until April as originally promised!
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:39:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I say three-way Battle Royale for the crown. Three entries, one title.
But I highly doubt the public would fully comprehend it. It'd be butterfly ballot-ish.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:36:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:32:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
So... NOW what happens?
==============
Now I check out Baywatch on IMDB to find titles for the next matchup.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:35:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My vote was a real vote.
I voted based on the story, not pictures or other miniscule bullshit like some users were doing in the beginning of the tournament.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:34:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Apparently, Jack and I battle.
Then the winner takes on Beef for the crown.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:33:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
At least you don't have to face Jack.
...Then Beef.
Let's face it. From here on out, it's alllllll uphill for me.
Take pleasure in watching them force me to eat from my own asshole.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:32:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So... NOW what happens?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:32:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:28:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Time to dig out the noose I used last year.
I think Pent's vote RIGHT AT THE DEADLINE shouldn't have counted, though, but that's just me.
I did, however, win the popular vote. Which should count for something seeing as how not many users are around now.
Thanks alot, Snark. What are you going to do next UM? Rip of my balls and feed them to a goat?
=====================
No way bro, that would involve touching your balls.
For what it's worth, I'm a slave to these rules as well as was pointed out by Monsieur Beefe
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:31:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:28:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
I did, however, win the popular vote. Which should count for something seeing as how not many users are around now.
--
Yeah, whatever.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:28:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Time to dig out the noose I used last year.
I think Pent's vote RIGHT AT THE DEADLINE shouldn't have counted, though, but that's just me.
I did, however, win the popular vote. Which should count for something seeing as how not many users are around now.
Thanks alot, Snark. What are you going to do next UM? Rip of my balls and feed them to a goat?
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:25:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I love you, Stevie.
Don't ever think I don't.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:22:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Congratulations Author #2 and thank you to both of you for making that decision so hard and yet rewarding at the same time.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:10:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Guitar relaxes me when I'm nervous.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:08:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've discovered that being as nervous as a squirrel on the highway makes me play guitar 8 times better.
I should form a band, called "At Gunpoint." And all set long, someone random will hold a loaded pistol to my head.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:06:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Even if I do end up winning, I've already lost my mind.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:05:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, it wouldn't be UberMadness if Snark didn't kill my soul.
Party on, FAC, party on.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:03:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well if there is reading involved, I lose.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:01:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahahaha sorry.
I'm reading them both over again right now.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:01:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So wait...
Who wins?
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:54:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I WILL GIVE YOU MY FIRST-BORN SON, JUST DON'T CRUSH MY SPIRIT.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:53:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*snaps*
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:45:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cruel!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:40:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Alright.
FaC and Stevie have waited long enough.
I'm surprised either of you two is still sane with the amount that matchup went back and forth.
It would be inhuman of me to make you wait any longer.
The winner between you two is
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:30:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Aw fuck.
...
Snark, either way, man...Still love ya. No hard feelings.
Maybe this is a sign I should just committee it for UMV.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:26:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
never fear Jack, wisher hasn't voted yet
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:26:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:24:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Rules are rules, Cancer.
Snark has to vote and I get a well-deserved by to the finals.
;)
Great story and great matchup, McCallum.
==============
God hates me.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:26:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:24:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Rules are rules, Cancer.
Snark has to vote and I get a well-deserved by to the finals.
;)
Great story and great matchup, McCallum.
-
Great, first I lose and then my fantasies of a hot and heavy 3-way are dashed? Fuck this, man.
Honestly, I've never seen two stories go back and forth so much. Insane.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:24:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Rules are rules, Cancer.
Snark has to vote and I get a well-deserved by to the finals.
;)
Great story and great matchup, McCallum.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:18:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Of course, that means I have to put up with another week of mind-numbing torture, waiting to see if I actually can hold my own...
But that's OK.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:16:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This works out perfectly, actually.
(I'm going to assume Jack just admitted he lost.)
If Snark doesn't vote, and accepts the tie, that means that there are now all four people with one loss.
In essence, the formatting is back on track.
Two more rounds: another quarterfinals, and the championship. None of this awkward "what to do with 3 people" crap.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:15:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just got off the phone with Al Gore. His advice? "Take it one day at a time."
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:10:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-24 21:35:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I might have done what I didn't think I was going to do.
I'm positive you did.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:08:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait a minute...
That means that technically... I'm the only one who DIDN'T win?
http://www.adoptionblogs.com/media/Crying%20baby%20boy_01.JPG
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:08:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
fuckme
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:05:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy fuck, Stevie and FAC are tied AGAIN!?!?!?!
Those guys must be sweating bullets.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-26 11:55:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
At work this morning. Feeling like shit. What a pussy, downed by a sinus thing. Jesus.
Does it mean I suffer from Premature Congratulation if I pop in here now and say...
Well done, cb. Neck and neck for days. Exciting stuff.
Now how the hell does this thing work with 3 people left?
I have itchy eyes.
Man, I hate that.
*struggles to lose gracefully, looks in mirror and sees this...*
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/images/300/baby_crying_closeup.jpg
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-26 01:33:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*vomits*
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-01-26 00:49:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-25 17:24:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
home with a bastard of a head cold
***
that's because..."they"...will never miss work until their illness becomes terminal
(glass ceiling rule #34)
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-26 00:36:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, fuck me gently.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-25 17:44:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Method, you know I respect you and everything...
But just as a person on the inside of all this, I'm gonna have to kindly ask you to lay low with the horse87 thing. Nothing personal.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-25 17:34:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*sees uberboard but lacks energy to respond*
*returns to bed and fuzzy binky and cherished Joanie Loves Chachi Limited Edition DVD box set*
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-25 17:24:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess jd called me through telepathy or something.
I'm home with a bastard of a head cold. Hacking up fine quality phlegm, aching sinuses, the works. Not sleeping at night, staring at the tube like a zombie during the day.
Meh.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-01-25 16:32:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
has anyone else noticed jack's not his chatty normal self?
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
<ka-whoosh!>
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-25 13:35:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't be such a whiny bitch.
As I told you before, it's over and these are just details.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-25 13:24:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
UberMadness is ruining my day.
And it's a good day, cause I don't have any classes on Thursday.
Instead of vegging out though, I get to start IE every 15 minutes, check Uber, and either freak out or not freak out when I see someone voted.
*tweaks*
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-25 07:28:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
In my fantasy world EVERYONE voted and read in last UM and I won the thing and was granted three wishes by Superman dressed as Lois Lane.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-25 00:59:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME, STEVIE?
*Epileptic seizure*
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-01-24 23:31:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, I think you did!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-24 21:35:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I might have done what I didn't think I was going to do.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-24 20:48:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Cool stats FaC.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-24 20:46:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Kinda true. The break didn't help but it was necessary.
Stevie... you haven't forgot how the voting numbers worked last year have you? It wasn't too much different than this.
Also, look at how few people we have on Uber these days.
The reason for things is seldom as simple as people would hope.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-24 19:26:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Taking the christmas break killed it and made it drag out way too long.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-24 17:54:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v82/FunnyAsCancer/WooUnnecessary.jpg
The data has spoken.
UMV should be over after 3, maybe 4 rounds.
(Yes, way too much free time.)
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-24 02:33:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't stress.
It's over.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-24 02:19:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
At first I thought these were both clinched.
But now comebacks are being made. And oooh, boy, is it a stress.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-23 16:39:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well at least I dont have to write anymore. Rock and roll.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-23 12:43:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Har har I SUCK.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-23 00:37:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Email awayyyy.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-22 23:41:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm waiting....
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-22 23:34:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't have AIM at work. Can you email me instead? stevestawesome.at.hotmail.com
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-22 23:01:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Stevie, AIM me. FunnyAsCancer.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-22 22:40:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy shit I hate my story.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-22 14:01:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
According to my Limited Edition 24 Hour Jack Bauer Action Clock,* the shit is just past his ankles and rising.
22 hours until post deadline.
* If they made these, I'd by one. You betcha.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-22 12:45:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Aw, waittaminute, I never knew Stevie came in #2 in last year's UM...
If I were a chicken, I'd be going "fuck-fuck-a-fuckkkkkk" right about now.
I need to go revise more...
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-01-22 12:03:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Overall, this was run pretty well, but damn this went on way too long.
I mean, it's going to be another month unless the format is changed.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-22 11:54:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Gee, could it be because this contest took longer to wrap up than the clean-up at Ground Zero?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-22 11:50:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I never thought I'd say this, but I think the break killed this contest for me.
No enthusiasm left.
None.
Feh.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-22 03:36:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dammit. 11 pages.
God dammit.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-22 01:17:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Do what you will I won't be posting for a while for I am KING OF THE MOON. DO MY WILL, HARPIES.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-22 00:18:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
To post, or not to post...?
Enhhhhh.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2007-01-21 22:42:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck, ya'll.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-01-19 18:01:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/97860
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-19 17:42:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Genitals and flatulence. At least we know no one stole Shlongy's password and that the real deal is posting.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-19 16:43:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Really?
That's swell, Jack!!!
Let's us know when you scratch your ass and fart!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-19 16:42:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just wrote my opening line! Yeehaw!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-19 16:39:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
[insert small caliber joke here]
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-19 16:27:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Who gives a fuck, jack?
If I wanted an update on your daily schedule, I'd put a bullet in my balls.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-19 13:52:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just coming up on 11AM PST, and my pos computer at work finally booted up. Which means it is almost noon on Friday and I have not written word one of the story I want to do.
Jee-zuz.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-01-19 11:41:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 teh UM
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-01-18 22:14:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
way too fucking cold!
1" of fucking ice on my duck/goose pond @ Gray Lodge yesterday morning
kia's: 7+4...in 20+mins
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-18 22:04:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-01-18 21:46:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah, well, I scrapped... seven pages yesterday!
I might toss it in the fucking trash and write twenty more tonight while ripped on ecstasy.
Either you're in trouble or I'm in trouble, McCallum.
--
Holy shit!
I have another 3 or 4 pages of all new stuff... and on the train on the way home I got an idea I like even more...
Gonna be some last minute posts, no doubt.
I blame the weather.
For California, this is way too fucking cold.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-01-18 21:46:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah, well, I scrapped... seven pages yesterday!
I might toss it in the fucking trash and write twenty more tonight while ripped on ecstasy.
Either you're in trouble or I'm in trouble, McCallum.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-18 17:20:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-18 12:55:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
I've got nothing written so far so I'd say she's half right.
--
I trashed 4 solid pages yesterday. Might use it for a regular uber fiction post, but it wasn't realy jazzing me so I ditched it. Back to the blank page...
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2007-01-18 13:14:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm even going to have time to read these, once my friday work deadline passes.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-18 12:55:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-01-17 21:48:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-01-17 14:36:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
There's no one left that I wanted to win.
Although I guess I would rather see charminglybeef or that cancer dude take it than the rest of the monkeys.
***************
So, how do you really feel about Jack and Stevie?
---
I've got nothing written so far so I'd say she's half right.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-01-18 04:24:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-16 18:01:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
Steve's got SpecialK...
Beef's got his fan section...
Jack's already touted as having it in the bag...
Anyone rooting for me?
---------------
I shall root for you, if I don't lose interest between now and when you post of course.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-01-17 21:48:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-01-17 14:36:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
There's no one left that I wanted to win.
Although I guess I would rather see charminglybeef or that cancer dude take it than the rest of the monkeys.
***************
So, how do you really feel about Jack and Stevie?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-17 15:17:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Charlton_Heston blew it.
If ever the time was ripe for a "We aren't monkeys, we're damn dirty apes!" comment...
V
V
V
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-01-17 14:36:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There's no one left that I wanted to win.
Although I guess I would rather see charminglybeef or that cancer dude take it than the rest of the monkeys.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-17 14:12:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait a minute... is that...?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-17 14:09:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What's your address again?
I was just waiting for permission...it cuts like 75% off of the sentence.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-17 13:58:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-17 08:58:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
So Snark...we start UberMadness V next month, right? :-D
------------------------
Shoot me.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-17 12:44:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My pant legs got all dirty yesterday walking to school. So I'm going to wear my shorter pants today.
That is all.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-17 12:29:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have five pages already.
No joke.
I <3 my muse.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-17 12:01:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My muse must be getting her nails done or something. I haven't seen her in days. If she's two-timing me there's gonna be trouble.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2007-01-17 11:51:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
GO SOMEONE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-17 11:45:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I haven't written a word yet.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-17 11:25:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
call for disqualification below!!!1111111lkasjagfd@#*&^#!%#!!!
--------------------
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-17 04:20:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
My girlfriend just told me I have 'intimacy issues.'
I think we're broken up.
How about that.
--------------------
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-17 04:36:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
While I am legitimately, truly sorry that this has happened to you, Stevie...
I still can't help but think, "Aw, and with our title..."
Please go easy on me.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-17 09:38:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'M DOIN' IT FOR THORNS!
Someone believes in me...*wistfully gazes off into space*
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-17 08:58:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So Snark...we start UberMadness V next month, right? :-D
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-17 08:57:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-17 02:13:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Nobody's rooting for Cancer...
*sigh*
Guess I'll just hafta win it out of spite.
---------------------------------------------
I BELIEVE IN YOU, MY PRECIOUS SNOOKUMS!!!!!!
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-17 04:36:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
While I am legitimately, truly sorry that this has happened to you, Stevie...
I still can't help but think, "Aw, and with our title..."
Please go easy on me.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-17 04:20:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My girlfriend just told me I have 'intimacy issues.'
I think we're broken up.
How about that.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-17 03:59:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OH GOD JACK, DON'T "MR. SMITH" ME A LA "THE MATRIX."
I WANT TO BE MEEEEEE.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-01-17 03:39:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-17 02:20:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-01-17 02:09:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
ahahaha jack.
Nice try, my friend.
Chuck's votes wouldn't count, anyway. He's too new.
Old negotiating ploy.
Offer something up for which you have no need but imply has value.
I think good old horse87 and Wisher have votes that count, however.
--
There people who know Wisher- who have talked to her. And I'm not that good a mimic. And I've been through the horse thing before. we are 3000 miles apart.
And as far as Alters go... look in a mirror, pal.
================================
What do you mean by that?
Okay, fine. I will.
*checks mirror, recoils in horror*
I AM MCCALLUM TOO!
YOU BASTARD!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-17 03:01:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-16 18:56:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
Card-carrying member of Pissy Fags of America
V
V
V
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-16 18:52:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
call for disqualification below
==============
are you talking about my NRA card or my still current Republican Party Membership card?
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-01-17 02:32:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
beef salad for the win
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-17 02:20:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-01-17 02:09:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
ahahaha jack.
Nice try, my friend.
Chuck's votes wouldn't count, anyway. He's too new.
Old negotiating ploy.
Offer something up for which you have no need but imply has value.
I think good old horse87 and Wisher have votes that count, however.
--
There people who know Wisher- who have talked to her. And I'm not that good a mimic. And I've been through the horse thing before. we are 3000 miles apart.
And as far as Alters go... look in a mirror, pal.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-17 02:13:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nobody's rooting for Cancer...
*sigh*
Guess I'll just hafta win it out of spite.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-01-17 02:09:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ahahaha jack.
Nice try, my friend.
Chuck's votes wouldn't count, anyway. He's too new.
Old negotiating ploy.
Offer something up for which you have no need but imply has value.
I think good old horse87 and Wisher have votes that count, however.
Hmmmm.
I wonder how THEY will vote.
I must say I was dubious on all this Jackalter business, but I'm starting to have my doubts.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-16 23:25:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Snark, for the record, Charlton_Heston was created by me and given up the same day. It is clearly an alter and as such, please don't count any votes from him in any of the rounds to follow.
Unless he votes for me.
Just kidding. Scrap his votes.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-16 23:23:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-16 23:08:15 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-16 22:40:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
Has anyone been able to, with some degree of accuracy, determine how many times Jack McCallum has voted for himself in this endless labotomy of a contest?
---
About as many times as you have hairs left on your head.
--
I resent the assertion that I voted for myself 47 times.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-16 23:23:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-01-16 18:27:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
No one wants ME to win, they just don't want Jack to win.
Well, no one but Sacrilicious.
Who would love me even if I killed her.
===
..if only you loved me to death.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-16 23:08:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-16 22:40:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
Has anyone been able to, with some degree of accuracy, determine how many times Jack McCallum has voted for himself in this endless labotomy of a contest?
---
About as many times as you have hairs left on your head.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-16 23:06:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck is an "Ubermadness?"
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-01-16 22:58:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-16 22:40:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
Has anyone been able to, with some degree of accuracy, determine how many times Jack McCallum has voted for himself in this endless labotomy of a contest?
*****************
If you don't like to eat dog shit, don't pick the turds up out of the yard.
You misspelled lobotomy.
:D
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-16 22:40:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Has anyone been able to, with some degree of accuracy, determine how many times Jack McCallum has voted for himself in this endless labotomy of a contest?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-16 22:38:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Is this nightmare finally over?
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2007-01-16 21:36:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm torn...i love fungah AND UM.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-01-16 20:18:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-16 18:37:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-01-16 18:27:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
No one wants ME to win, they just don't want Jack to win.
--
I'm despised!
*****************
You're right up there with a sneezing, aids-infested leper....
:)
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-16 19:24:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Fungah:
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2007-01-16 19:17:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
FUCK
UBERMADNESS
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-16 19:13:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nah, beef, right now I'm fishing for an idea. Something will come to me... no doubt at 2am.
Gotta eat some weird shit tonight. Peanut butter sandwiches followed by smoked oysters, perhaps.
Weird food combos = weird dreams = excellent story fodder.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-01-16 19:01:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wouldn't doubt it, Jack -- does it have anything to do with zombies or the end of the world? Or perhaps both?
Picture me, with my hands to my temples and my eyes closed: "You already have a story written and you're gonna fudge in the title."
Like FAC.
Clever retorts in the works, no doubt!
Sorry -- I left out Stevie in my 'trash talking'.
Betcha can't write something stranger than me, Stevie.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-16 18:56:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Card-carrying member of Pissy Fags of America
V
V
V
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-16 18:52:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
call for disqualification below
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-16 18:49:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-01-16 18:38:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck to you, by the way, Jack.
I think this is a good title for us.
Hold me.
--
At the risk of raising ire from other quarters, I'm confident Mr. Beef will not piss away this title. It's gonna be fun.
btw, I'm on page 9.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-01-16 18:38:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck to you, by the way, Jack.
I think this is a good title for us.
Hold me.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-16 18:37:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-01-16 18:27:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
No one wants ME to win, they just don't want Jack to win.
--
I'm despised!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-16 18:29:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No.
I want you to win as well beefy. I said it about three rounds ago.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-01-16 18:27:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No one wants ME to win, they just don't want Jack to win.
Well, no one but Sacrilicious.
Who would love me even if I killed her.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-16 18:01:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Steve's got SpecialK...
Beef's got his fan section...
Jack's already touted as having it in the bag...
Anyone rooting for me?
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2007-01-16 17:48:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Steve already won....you can all go home now.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-16 17:46:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ima back away slowly now...
Deadline is next Tuesdays as usual.
Voting ends noon next Friday.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-16 17:45:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Snark...
What's the deadline?
Thanks.
Thanks, man.
You rock, dude.
Thanks for being there, buddy.
I mean, I really appreciate it, bro.
I... aw shit... I love you man! I always have!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-16 17:44:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-16 17:31:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-01-16 05:15:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-01-16 00:35:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
I suppose I'm rooting for charminglybeef then.
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2007-01-16 17:35:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I strongly believe that Jack's got this in the bag. Just a feeling....
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-16 17:31:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-01-16 05:15:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-01-16 00:35:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
I suppose I'm rooting for charminglybeef then.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-16 17:20:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What the FUCK is going on with Uber today?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-16 17:17:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
charminglybeef has consistently argued against my praise, claiming I overestimate him as a writer and I give him too much credit. To him, I say
*ahem*
TOLD YOU SO.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-16 17:08:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well geeze. This title is NOTHING AT ALL like the one I had last round.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-01-16 15:02:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-16 14:52:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-01-16 08:36:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that's a McCallum title if I've ever seen one.
--
Yeah, we got a nice one. Good luck, man.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-01-16 08:36:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that's a McCallum title if I've ever seen one.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-01-16 05:15:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-01-16 00:35:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
I suppose I'm rooting for charminglybeef then.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-01-16 03:35:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
These 4 individuals make me erect...
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-16 02:37:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wooo Final Four.
Submitted by PhillipTheGreat (user info) at 2007-01-16 02:10:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BAHAHAHAHA!
I GOT AS FAR AS:
"No beating around the bush"
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-16 01:20:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2007-01-16 01:13:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
rad.
===
what?
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-16 01:19:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Aw fuck.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2007-01-16 01:13:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
rad.
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2007-01-16 00:35:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
See. I don't even have time for a bloody question mark!
... stories be posted?
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-01-16 00:35:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I suppose I'm rooting for charminglybeef then.
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2007-01-16 00:32:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am so looking forward to this round.
Approximately when will these stories be posted. My internet time is way limited these days.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-01-16 00:12:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wooT