faster, faster, faster (637 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 0.13 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by thecrystalship (View user info) at 2007-01-16 21:21:26 EST
"Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death." ~Hunter Thompson, Hell's Angels
Spring rolled around and with it the itch to buy a motorcycle. It wasn't long before I purchased my third bike, a 1984 Honda Goldwing 1100. I was riding it all the time except for at night. I didn't drive it at night because I only drive cars while I'm drunk, not motorcycles; it's safer for me that way.
Anyway, here I was racing down the highway at 80mph in a 50mph zone weaving in and out of traffic and zooming along like mad. Now normally I do not drive in this manner, in fact I despise maniacal driving, but on this occasion I was extremely late for school and it was necessary.
I slowed down to 70mph as I approached a green light to make a left hand turn, braked down to 50mph before the turn, cranked my handlebars to the right to lean my bike to the left, and made the left turn with the left pegs scraping the ground. Now a Honda Goldwing is not a fast cornering machine, it is a touring motorcycle, but I was quite comfortable with the bike and made the turn with all the grace of a wino tapping a new box of wine.
I was sitting at the next red light when a Jeep pulled up next to me and the driver leaned over onto the passenger seat and yelled, "You better slow down buddy!" It really annoyed me that this fucker wasn't minding his own business so I immediately yelled back "Suck my cock bitch!" without thinking twice about it. The light changed green and I pulled ahead and went to school. When I finished school I laughed when I found this note on my bike.
User Reviews
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2007-01-19 18:28:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How did you manager to come across this after three days anyway?
Apollo is a little bitch...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/97604#2275718
Bitch didn't even leave comment on obvious Pure Platinum material. He is weak as shit, like I said, intimidated by those of greater masculinity. I can't help him, all I can do is call him the bitch he is, but glad to see another toll the line. I said, 70% didn't I?
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2007-01-19 18:22:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-19 00:53:59 (#)
Ranking: -2
I've heard this story, let's say, 80 times.
This is the fucking shittiest version out of the 80.
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Let me know when you're done blowing Apollo...
What school did you two go to? Learn to fucking read, lol.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-19 00:53:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I've heard this story, let's say, 80 times.
This is the fucking shittiest version out of the 80.
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2007-01-18 23:34:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and next time look the word up yourself dumbshit.
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2007-01-18 23:29:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-18 21:45:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
how the fuck can you 'threaten my masculinity' on a website?
what the fuck do you consider masculinty? Riding a motorbike? Being a little bitch with people?
How old are you?
Prick.
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wow, i hadn't laughed yet today, thanks for that response
don't ask questions that only you can answer
i will answer your second question though...
Masculinty
1. pertaining to or characteristic of a man or men: masculine attire.
2. having qualities traditionally ascribed to men, as strength and boldness.
I hope you are satisfied you little girl handed pussy. Go get another manicure and fuck off.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-18 21:45:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
how the fuck can you 'threaten my masculinity' on a website?
what the fuck do you consider masculinty? Riding a motorbike? Being a little bitch with people?
How old are you?
Prick.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2007-01-18 15:03:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BWHAHAHHAHAAAA
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2007-01-18 14:53:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn, it sure is fun to bash other's comments, lol.
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2007-01-18 14:49:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-01-16 22:10:00 (#)
Ranking: -1
Hunter Thompson, Hell's Angels and a Honda Goldwing
What's wrong with that picture?
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HST didn't ride a Harley dipshit, read the book before you leave a dumbass comment, lol. HST preferred foreign bikes because they were faster and handled better.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2007-01-18 13:48:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
funny
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-01-18 13:19:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Motorcycles are for flagrant homosexuals and hippies.
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2007-01-17 21:14:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-17 15:51:19 (#)
Ranking: -2
either way, if this happened to you, it makes you an asshole, not badass.
slight difference.
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See this is exactly what I mean, I didn't post it to be a badass, but for some reason I threaten the masculinity of uberers so they have to make dumbass comments like you and Apollo left ("It's not real" or "You're not a badass"). Before giving it any thought those comments annoyed me, but now I see why people leave those comments and I think it's hilarious.
Uberers 70% girly handed pussies
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-01-17 17:53:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like reading little 'slices of life'
like the time at work when i burped real loud and the office people next door started laughing.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-17 17:50:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2007-01-17 11:37:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-16 22:10:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2007-01-16 21:59:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I guess unless it happens to you then it isn't as amusing. Of course if you are a limp-wristed little fucker like Apollo there isn't much that you could find amusing. Go pluck your eyebrows girly hands, lol. ""
no the point is this is an anecdote you heard from someone or an email and you are trying to pass of as original.
i wouldn't mind but it is very very very rubbish anyway.
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Lol, no you fucking dipshit, this actually happened. I know it might be hard to believe for a spineless bitch who has no life, but for the people who actually have a pair and a life to go with them it isn't to hard to believe an even like this went down. Now quit being jealous of those with bigger balls then you and go out and do something today instead of being the weak little shit you are. """
ahahhahaahha
retard.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-17 15:58:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's be pretty funny to see a Goldwing make a turn like that
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-17 15:51:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
either way, if this happened to you, it makes you an asshole, not badass.
slight difference.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-17 15:50:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
it was that lol that did you in
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2007-01-17 11:40:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
After I get so many unbelievers of real stories about my life I am starting to believe uber consists of a bunch of little pussies who don't live much of a life at all and can't accept others who do, lol.
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2007-01-17 11:37:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-16 22:10:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2007-01-16 21:59:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I guess unless it happens to you then it isn't as amusing. Of course if you are a limp-wristed little fucker like Apollo there isn't much that you could find amusing. Go pluck your eyebrows girly hands, lol. ""
no the point is this is an anecdote you heard from someone or an email and you are trying to pass of as original.
i wouldn't mind but it is very very very rubbish anyway.
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Lol, no you fucking dipshit, this actually happened. I know it might be hard to believe for a spineless bitch who has no life, but for the people who actually have a pair and a life to go with them it isn't to hard to believe an even like this went down. Now quit being jealous of those with bigger balls then you and go out and do something today instead of being the weak little shit you are.
Submitted by Talibandrew (user info) at 2007-01-17 10:36:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why do cops always have the hand writting and the mental capacity of retarded 4th graders?
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-01-17 08:32:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ooohhh, tell us again how you snub your nose at "laws" and "authority"! It makes me so hot when you crazy kids get all anarchist and moody.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-17 06:48:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-01-17 02:14:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by PhillipTheGreat (user info) at 2007-01-17 02:09:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"Faster, faster, faster"
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THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-17 00:08:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wanted to -2 you and say something along the lines of "natural selection will catch up with you soon." especially based upon this excerpt:
"Anyway, here I was racing down the highway at 80mph in a 50mph zone weaving in and out of traffic and zooming along like mad. Now normally I do not drive in this manner, in fact I despise maniacal driving, but on this occasion I was extremely late for school and it was necessary. "
But the graphic made it all worth while - probably not real but damn, good save.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-01-16 22:18:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+0.5 in the hopes that somebody might rewrite this.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-01-16 22:14:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude, when you try and pass off someone else's story as your own, try and include less suck.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-16 22:10:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2007-01-16 21:59:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I guess unless it happens to you then it isn't as amusing. Of course if you are a limp-wristed little fucker like Apollo there isn't much that you could find amusing. Go pluck your eyebrows girly hands, lol. ""
no the point is this is an anecdote you heard from someone or an email and you are trying to pass of as original.
i wouldn't mind but it is very very very rubbish anyway.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-01-16 22:10:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Hunter Thompson, Hell's Angels and a Honda Goldwing
What's wrong with that picture?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-01-16 22:02:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-16 21:46:53 (#)
Ranking: -2
fucking hell bubba you have zero taste.
i bet you drink chardonnay.
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I seldom, if ever, touch white wine. I'd rather listen to you whine....
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2007-01-16 21:59:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I guess unless it happens to you then it isn't as amusing. Of course if you are a limp-wristed little fucker like Apollo there isn't much that you could find amusing. Go pluck your eyebrows girly hands, lol.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-16 21:46:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
fucking hell bubba you have zero taste.
i bet you drink chardonnay.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-01-16 21:33:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've never heard it before. Looks like you're gonna need this...
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-01-16 21:24:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What's a 'dizk'?
Submitted by r1nce (user info) at 2007-01-16 21:24:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-16 21:24:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
heard that story a million times.
every time sucked.