APW: Abnormal Post Wednesday. (811 hits)
Category: Politics -> IraqRating: 1.96 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Davros (View user info) at 2007-01-17 11:31:46 EST
I am beginning to think that something is seriously wrong with me, apart from the obvious things. There have been a few abnormal trends that I have noticed occurring recently, but this is the most disturbing of them all.
Last night I went out for a drink or seven with a guy I work with. We were in the least expensive pub in the local area, which is full of all the winos and other such desperados that haunt the places where alcohol is almost affordable in London.
Given that this was our chosen destination, I made the appropriate amount of effort.
None.
I was approximately a week away from my last shave, in dire need of a haircut, the grey is seriously starting to show through and wearing the same clothes that I have been wearing whilst lounging around all day watching crappy daytime TV.
This particular pub usually makes me feel pretty good as I am usually the youngest person in the place by around thirty years. Yesterday was slightly different.
Over in the "Non-Smoking" section of our watering hole were a group of females who were out celebrating a birthday of some kind, eighteen or twenty-one, but I honestly don't recall. For some reason, possibly because we were the only two males under sixty, the smokers in the group decided to make their way to our table when they needed their nicotine infusion.
Being that I am the "Gentleman of the Internet", {Damn You Wench}, (if I knew the ALT codes I would do one of the TM things) I was polite and struck up a conversation.
As the night went on, they seemed to be spending a lot more time at our table than with their friends. This in itself was no problem. I enjoyed both the conversation and the company. But then things started to get weird.
As I returned from the bathroom, I noticed my drinking partner was performing a serious tonsil examination of one of the girls with his tongue. This changed the context of the situation quite considerable. When I returned to the table, the other girl decided it was her mission to do equally as well as her friend.
The conversation quickly became much more intimate between us and as usual I was flattered by the attention. It did however, make me slightly uncomfortable.
Don't get me wrong, she was by no means unattractive. Not really my "type", but she looked good enough.
I played along and was quite happy to fool around a little.
As the final bell rang, she turned to me and asked "Are we going back to your place?".
This is where things get screwed up.
I had absolutely no interest in taking this girl home. Despite the fact that I found her good (enough) looking, I had no interest in getting what was obviously on offer. I, politely, refused, apparently causing her great distress judging by the look on her face as she made her way back to her friends.
I woke up this morning and realised what I had done.
There was no regret, just astonishment.
This kind of thing doesn't happen to me that often and in previous times I would have taken full advantage of it. I have no valid reason for why I didn't go for it, I just simply didn't want to.
I don't want to be past it at Thirty (ish).
Help me!
-Dave
User Reviews
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-01-21 00:38:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it's good not to hop in the sack with anyone who shows interest.
At least that's what I think.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-01-21 00:14:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-01-20 17:39:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
dear bart please consider me dead sexy
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-01-18 08:29:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wetherspooooooons.®
You disappoint me Dave. DO you really cover your grey?
Oh, and nice one for not shagging that bird. It shows class.
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2007-01-18 08:18:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm 18 and haven't had sex in a few months too. I'm travelling, so it should be prime boning time, but it hasn't been so far. I think I'm caught in the catch-22 of wanting to fuck, but not wanting to fuck slutty girls... which for the most part are the ones that put out. I'll just keep telling myself that the non-slutty girls just aren't ready yet; that they haven't acquired the good sense to bone me.
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-01-18 08:00:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As a guy who hasnt had sex for ages and has just hit 30 and is actually at Work, I dont care , i really dont care
booohoooohooohohohoooo
boooohoooo
prack
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2007-01-18 07:43:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
She prolly had aids. or scabies. or head lice. that was your spider sense tingling. At least that is what you should tell yourself.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-01-18 07:42:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, you know you're just saving yourself for me. Don't lie.
Submitted by MouthSore (user info) at 2007-01-18 02:57:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-01-18 00:11:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I meant +1.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-01-18 00:10:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2007-01-17 18:41:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's called growing up.
Kinda sucks, huh?
Submitted by ppick06 (user info) at 2007-01-17 18:22:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
damn this one made me think here, guy. maybe it just wasnt meant to be and you stopped yourself on like a subconcious level or something. either way, i definitely wouldnt beat myself up over some 2-bit birthday party skank and as that other guy said, its always a little creepier when your not the hunter. cheers.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2007-01-17 17:21:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ATT GHEY MENZ
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-01-17 15:56:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy look out! ahhh!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-17 15:27:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-17 11:54:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU COCKBLOCKED YOURSELF
AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by sweetcheebs (user info) at 2007-01-17 15:13:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I never get laid anymore, but I would have done the same thing.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-17 13:15:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it's called growing up dude.
get yourself a nice negress who can cook gumbo and settle down.
mmmmmm
gumbo
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-01-17 13:04:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-17 12:22:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi Danger. Always? Or just with me?
------------------
always. It's going swimmingly as a matter of fact. Mind you, the stand-offish vibes I'm getting from all the come-get-me-strumpets can be a little disheartening at times, but I know they're just foxing, so I'll stick to my guns and fight disinterest with disinterest. I know it's driving them completely mental, I feel like General Patton matching strategic wits with an entire army of kate bush babooshkas.
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-17 12:50:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
what's wrong with you dude?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-01-17 12:41:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Welcome.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-01-17 12:34:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
®
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-17 12:22:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi Danger. Always? Or just with me?
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-01-17 12:10:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh hi Sacrilicious. Did I mention I'm *always* avoiding sex?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-17 12:08:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OK, I'll be For Serious for a moment. This isn't going to help sully your reputation for being the gentleman of the internet, Davros. But it does mean you have self-respect enough to (sometimes?) avoid sins of the flesh.
Personally, I find this makes you more attractive. Not because you played hard to get, but because it takes more than an available opportunity for sex for you to choose to have it.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-01-17 12:07:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
um, my name is warren.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2007-01-17 12:06:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-01-17 12:00:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
you like boys.
------------
Only you Brian.
Come and take my throbbing member in your most intimate orofice.
-Dave
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-01-17 12:00:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you like boys.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-17 11:54:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU COCKBLOCKED YOURSELF
AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2007-01-17 11:53:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're clearly leaning toward homosexuality.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-01-17 11:44:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happened t ome about a year ago. I had just started dating my now girlfriend. I went out for a drink with a mutual friend and by the end of the night she was practically begging me to go home with her. And she was hot.
Long story short, I declined. That's not happened frequently. But, when it has I've always declined.
My theory is that I am a hunter, not a gatherer. I become disinterested with women unless I'm the one pursuing her. She pursues me and I'm everything but attracted to her. I think that I see it as a sign of weakness or something.
Best not to think too much into it.
Hope that all is well. Haven't talked to you in awhile...
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-17 11:43:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2007-01-17 11:42:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahhaah @ JoeyG.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-01-17 11:39:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I believe Ubersite may be a catalyst in the onset of senile dimensia.
Just the other day I couldn't remember where the toilet was. Then I realised that was because I was pissed and in someone else's house.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-01-17 11:34:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha ha ha ha