bond girls are inhuman... (2848 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: 0.64 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by EvilZurr <EvilZurr.at.gundamwing.net> (View user info) at 2003-07-07 04:43:02 EDT
ok well, first of all, my computer karma is a massive bitch. my hard drive is inaccessible because i accidentally pumped 1.2 Ghz into my MB, which maxes at 1Ghz (or so im told). and then today my whole network went down, and i lost my cable connection. i fixed it though, not like it really matters. just wondering if computers have karma too... no reason.
back to the subject at hand. today i was watching TNN's "100 most irresisable women", which was complete bullshit for the most part (anyone who says queen latifah is #7 while jessica alba is #69 can consume feces and die), i was shocked to find that famke jannsen was nowhere to be seen, and that halle berry is the most irresistable women in existence. ok, this is bullshit, and ive got the perfect way of proving this: bond movies...
given: famke wasnt really a bond girl, because she was an enemy and died at the hands of bond (see Xenia Onatopp: Goldeneye). however, she was a completely kinky russian fox who got off on slaughtering a bunch of russian techies (who wouldnt?). not only this, but she killed a man with her thighs.... that is bad ass and sexy, all at the same time. also given: halle berry is very sexy, and is the latest bond girl (see Jinx: Die Another Day). Berry, although very foxy in her own, does not hold anything close to a fucking candle when it comes to being the sexiest bond girl. sure, shes got a nice body... and? she played a secret agent... big whoop. wheres the BDSM? wheres the orgasm induced blooshed? her coolest kill that whole movie was.... did she kill someone? and there was no blaze of glory either. Xenia got owned by an exploding helicopter just befre killing bond. there is no contest here, folks. and the added twist; both women played X-Men characters as well. ooh ahh....
therefore, i ask you, the good people of ubersite, who is the sexiest bond woman/villain? tally one for Xenia. the end
User Reviews
Submitted by Dragon (user info) at 2004-02-29 21:09:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
For Bond women I'll go with Christmas for "The World is Not Enough".
Submitted by smokymtcsw (user info) at 2004-01-07 16:22:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Queenie Latifah is fat and ugly, it is only white mans guilt that has her rated at all...yuck yuck yuck. Laetitia Casta is a Goddess...
Submitted by kgbpasha (user info) at 2004-01-07 15:58:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I wouldn't mind being sandwiched between:
Salma Hayek and Tia Carrere...both potential Bond Chicks.
mmmmm...sandwich....
Submitted by EvilZurr (user info) at 2003-09-23 01:23:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
god damnit vasil, stop reading these!
Submitted by Queen (user info) at 2003-07-07 18:39:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I watched that show and they said Pamela Anderson was #1.
I'm so tired of seeing her fake ass sprawled on the cover of anything, I wish she would just vanish. I mean anyone who gets with 'kid-rock' needs to be mentally checked anyways.
I know, that was really off-topic, but the 100 top show that I saw on TNN, was Pam Anderson as #1.
Submitted by BerZerK (user info) at 2003-07-07 11:55:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, shes hot.
-BerZ
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-07-07 09:41:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow women are a lot dumber than I thought...
Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2003-07-07 09:19:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Something about this woman rushes home from work because she has a gyno appointment and in her haste she doesn't have time for a shower, so she grabs a rag that was near the sink and wipes he twat with it. She gets to the gyno and he makes some sort of comment like, "My aren't we looking nice today," or something along those lines. she gets home and he daughter asks what happened to the rag that was by the sink because she had some glitter in it for a costume or something like that.
There are a few different stories like that, check out http://www.snopes.com for the full story.
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-07-07 08:45:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I'm sure you've all gotten the e-mail message about the woman who wiped her kitty with some spakles just before she went to the gyno and the doc made some comment. Jennifer Lopez actually claims that happened to her. What an idiot."
Wait some bitch wiped her choch with sparkles?
Explain?
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-07-07 08:43:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Carment Electra.
Yasmine Bleath
Rebecca Romaijn<SP?> Stamos
The new Terminator chick
They own....
Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2003-07-07 08:40:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Now Julia Roberts I'll agree with you on. There is nothing remoatly appealing about that woman. Another annoying woman is Jennifer Lopez. I'm sure you've all gotten the e-mail message about the woman who wiped her kitty with some spakles just before she went to the gyno and the doc made some comment. Jennifer Lopez actually claims that happened to her. What an idiot.
Submitted by dasteve (user info) at 2003-07-07 08:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*Halle Damn I'm stupid.
Submitted by hendrixjrr (user info) at 2003-07-07 08:17:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
almost had me doubting my homosexuality...
HA! [xt2004mx7664544]
Submitted by dasteve (user info) at 2003-07-07 08:15:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe Otter mentioned Sandra Bullock in this post. I hate her. She ranks right up there with Julia Roberts in the catagory of Actresses I Never Want To See Again. Holly is pretty hot, but I saw a clip of her on the Howie Mandel (sp?) show and I was shocked at how much of a bitch she was.
Submitted by michaelahunt (user info) at 2003-07-07 07:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Halle berry's better looking that that chick
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-07-07 07:35:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Im going to go off topic and say
DEMI MOORE. She needs to be a Bond girl. I saw her in Charlies Angels today and good frickin lord, almost had me doubting my homosexuality...
Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2003-07-07 05:22:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd have to say my chick is the hottest in the world, but since she's not a famous movie star or musician, I'd go with Sandra Bullock. She's got this real sweet persona about her and the real genuine girl next door looks. She's a great acctress and she also seems like she has a good head on her shoulders. you just gotta know me and you'd know why I'd choose Sandra.
Famke Jenson is about a hottie and I think she kicks ass over Hally Berry in both the Bond movies and X-men. Don't get me wrong, Hally is a beautiful woman, but I agree with you on the whole Xenia Onatopp thing. Hally is a very talented actress as well, but I honestly think her performance in X-men was way below her normal abilities.
Gilrs like Pamela Anderson, Denies Richards and Cindy Crawford just don't do it for me. Sure they are all attractive women, but I thing Pam looks like shit with coligine lips and she has lousey taste in guys. Deniese Richards has a great body but she is as dumb as box of rocks. I saw an interview with her and she is just too fucking stupid, you could stick her in the corner of a room and she couldn't find her way out. Cindy Crawford...hmmm...just something about her I've never liked. She's not exactly the sharpest ax in the woodshed either, despite the fact that she was valedictorian.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2003-07-07 04:47:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"consume feces and die" a line stolen directly from my book! +2 for that alone.
As far as the 100 women, I picked up the issues of Maxim and FHM to compare/contrast their respective top 100 lists. Halle Barry was at the top of one of those lists too. She just doesn't do it for me though.