Electrictoothsyndrome Post Template (1027 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.48 on 50 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jack McCallum (View user info) at 2007-01-19 16:03:21 EST
I have recently become aware that a/an [insert ominous words, e.g. growing threat, insidious plot, age-old conspiracy of silence, etc.] known to most of us as/masquerading as the/an/a corporation/company/clique/partnership/individual/President named/called [insert name here, e.g. George Bush, the Federal Reserve, the Illuminati, Time Warner, etc.] is the [insert cool but kind of scary description of power wielder here, e.g. mastermind, controlling force, puppetmaster, evil overlord, etc.] behind the phenomenon known as/threat of/sudden appearance of/sudden disappearance of [insert crisis or threat here, e.g. global warming, male sterility, the continued use of Styrofoam, etc.].
It is time we [insert calls to action and protest, e.g. wake the hell up, remove the scales from our eyes, see the truth, expose the lie, etc.] and demand answers/action/accountability of behalf of [insert screwed-over segment of the population or targeted demographic or otherwise doomed entities here, e.g. the people, the public, the working class, blacks, Indians, single mothers, disabled vets, limbless basketcases, endangered species, the ecosphere etc.].
I say [insert long rant here]!!!
Look at the evidence [insert links here].
And if you do not believe that, [insert more links here].
Try to deny THE EVIDENCE! [insert a few more links here].
Take action now! Demand [insert unreasonable demand here].
[Insert links to politicians, CEOs, military commanders, etc].
I believe [insert personalized and bizarre rant here, running off on as many unrelated tangents and hitting as many dead ends as possible].
It is up to you/We MUST act now/We are all fucked!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-01-22 09:29:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-01-19 19:18:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-19 18:21:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
While I agree with most of what you say ETS, I must point out that (insert long and random reasons, using language that appears to be intelligent, but that isn't)
Also, I will now indulge in a little ass kissing and what not....
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-21 05:20:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-01-20 10:43:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty hilarious. I got down to the internal hemmroid picture and I about died,
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2007-01-20 09:45:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-01-20 03:21:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2007-01-20 01:50:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Okay, I believe everything you've said, because [insert Wikipedia quote and/or link here]!!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-20 00:49:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
squatail called he wants his format back
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2007-01-20 00:35:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fag 2 reviews below
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2007-01-20 00:34:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-19 23:30:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
insert vapid cunt here
fag above
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-19 22:15:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Everybody say she got a mojo, now she's been using that stuff
Mmmm, everybody say she got a mojo, cause she's been using that stuff
But she got a way of trimmin' down, hoo fair brown, and I mean it's most too tough
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-01-19 20:44:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG!!1 Ur SO RIGHT!11
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2007-01-19 20:34:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Add in a few thumps of the table and this is also the template for his conversations with strangers at Dennys.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-01-19 20:28:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You covered all the points and got the typical brainless responses from
Zebra et al.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-01-19 19:26:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry Rob, pissed and lazy.
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V
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-19 19:24:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-01-19 19:18:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-19 18:21:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
While I agree with most of what you say ETS, I must point out that (insert long and random reasons, using language that appears to be intelligent, but that isn't)
Also, I will now indulge in a little ass kissing and what not....
---
tsk tsk Beano!
That is all you got?
That is weak. WEAK I tells ya. (and a little surprising/interesting.)
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-19 19:21:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-19 19:09:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-19 19:03:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-19 17:37:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Better get busy before someone steals your idea
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-19 17:36:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
heh..I call dibs on doing the rob_berg post template
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too late, rob did it himself, what an Oathmeal!
---
http://www.ubersite.com/m/97861#2282932
HAHA!
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http://www.ubersite.com/m/97861#2282958
yes, 'HA HA' indeed.
I will say, at least OathMeal would fly into a roid rage and threaten to crumple everything in sight after he got pwned - rob just kinda stands there. I guess that's why he doesn't look up at the sky when it rains...so he won't drown.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-01-19 19:18:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-19 18:21:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
While I agree with most of what you say ETS, I must point out that (insert long and random reasons, using language that appears to be intelligent, but that isn't)
Also, I will now indulge in a little ass kissing and what not....
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-19 19:14:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-19 19:06:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-19 19:03:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-19 17:36:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
heh..I call dibs on doing the rob_berg post template
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too late, rob did it himself, what an Oathmeal!
--
If any of The Women of Uber* offer to get rob_berg's rocks off, this could get ugly.
* Sounds kind of like a Playboy pictorial, no?
---
um... I don't really get this comment.
Seems like more McCallum conjecture.
While there are some wonderfully fantastic uber ladies for sure... I am rather well spoken for.
However, if YOU need a good solid fuck in the no spot Jackie boy, I'm sure I can make an exception.
[its only gay if our balls touch. Right?]
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-01-19 19:12:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Everything you ever wanted to know about Zebra
User id: 29369
Registered on or around: 2006-11-25 13:34:37
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 171
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-19 19:09:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Could be a brain tumor. Or an aneurysm that could blow at any min
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-19 19:09:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-19 19:03:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-19 17:37:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Better get busy before someone steals your idea
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-19 17:36:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
heh..I call dibs on doing the rob_berg post template
-----
too late, rob did it himself, what an Oathmeal!
---
http://www.ubersite.com/m/97861#2282932
HAHA!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-19 19:08:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy FUCK... I suddenly have one HELL of a headache.
It's like getting skullfucked by God.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-19 19:06:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-19 19:03:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-19 17:36:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
heh..I call dibs on doing the rob_berg post template
-----
too late, rob did it himself, what an Oathmeal!
--
If any of The Women of Uber* offer to get rob_berg's rocks off, this could get ugly.
* Sounds kind of like a Playboy pictorial, no?
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-19 19:04:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I saw that.. that blows.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-19 19:03:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-19 17:37:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Better get busy before someone steals your idea
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-19 17:36:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
heh..I call dibs on doing the rob_berg post template
-----
too late, rob did it himself, what an Oathmeal!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-19 18:21:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-19 17:36:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
heh..I call dibs on doing the rob_berg post template
---
HAHA...
It would require a vocabulary far greater than the one you possess troll.
Not to mention more intelligence, insight and general awareness.
But go for it. I would LOVE to see it. C'mon!
- Oh, this was funny Jack.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-01-19 17:49:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree with Jack because [insert reason here]
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-19 17:37:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Better get busy before someone steals your idea
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-19 17:36:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
heh..I call dibs on doing the rob_berg post template
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-19 17:36:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heh..I call dibs on doing the rob_berg post template
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-19 17:35:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-19 17:16:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm playing a new game I made up. I'm reading all of ETS's old posts and finding out how many words I have to read before I hit complete and total bullshit.
--
Jesus CHRIST that's funny!
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-19 17:32:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Orgasmatron,
Preliminary estimates:
Government 2,542
Conspiracy 2,429
George Bush 2,348
Cheney 1,984
Halliburton 1,784
War 1,384
Iraq 1,134
And so on...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-19 17:28:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I've debated creating a concordance for my posts, to see how many times words like "fist" and "janx" and "stab" appear. Could be a good side project idea for your ETS game, homer.
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-19 17:16:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm playing a new game I made up. I'm reading all of ETS's old posts and finding out how many words I have to read before I hit complete and total bullshit. I'm on post 6 (reverse chronological order) and the record stands at 3 words.
I'm surprised that he hasn't learned yet that when you want to fill people's heads with bullshit you sort of have to finese it in there burried in the middle of a bunch of stuff that's actually believable.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2007-01-19 17:11:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
THIS POST DELIVERS
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-19 16:56:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is an awful lot of fun. Potential to be the best contest EVER!
Electrictoothsyndrome Review Template:
I am not wrong. I do not acknowledge your point, homer42. Actually maybe Halliburton couldn't possibly be involved in this, but I'm still correct about the dairy farmers and Bush. In fact, you're wrong for debating with me. It's not the little details that matter it's the big picture. The simple fact is George Bush and large greedy corporations are trying to control the world by steralizing us all. That's right, I forgot about that part. The chemical that causes the itchy balls causes sterilization. The only known antidote is rat urine, so drink up. But I digress.
I will be right one day about this growing threat, you'll see. You'll all see. About me being right. And don't forget about the Cingular Dick Cheney connection and how the new iPhone is designed as a powerful gammaray emmiter designed to cuase brain cancer. But I'll be right about it all. And I will wear a Right Hat, made of tinfoil to protect from that iPhone. And I will be right. You'll see.
If anyone can produce evidence to the contrary, I will leave this site for good. But it has to be real evidence, not that stuff with like scientists and formulas and stuff behind. It has to come from a respectable unbiased source like prisonplanet.com. Those mainstream media outlets and institutions of higher education that do so-called "cutting edge research," well.... they're all just part of the Bush plan. You'll see, mark my words or you'll be sorry.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info </u/Orgasmatron>) at 2007-01-19 16:16:34 (#)
Ranking: 1
Electrictoothsyndrome Review Template:
I am not wrong. I do not acknowledge your point, [username]. Actually I might acknowledge it, but I'm still correct about [ominous words, e.g. growing threat, insidious plot, age-old conspiracy of silence, etc.]. In fact, you're wrong for debating with me.
I will be right one day about [ominous words, e.g. growing threat, insidious plot, age-old conspiracy of silence, etc.]. You'll see. You'll all see. About me being right. Oh and if that other stuff happens it'll be pretty awful. But I'll be right. And I will wear a Right Hat. And I will be right. You'll see.
If anyone can produce evidence to the contrary, I will leave this site for good. Only I really won't.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-01-19 16:54:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2007-01-19 16:51:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-01-19 16:42:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The above template is always followed by seven or eight of his typical response template below:
Don't you get it? How many times do I have to [insert type of forced penetration/blundt force trauma] you with [insert superlative] evidence before you??? It's as simple as [insert circular reasoning] and if you don't believe ME, go to [conspiracy-theorist's myspace account]. JEEBUZ, SHEEPLE! [Insert threat or poorly veiled sarcasm]
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-19 16:41:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I like it...
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Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-19 16:37:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's like mad libs. You should make it a contest - fill in the template.
It's like mad libs. You should make it a contest - fill in the template.
I have recently become aware that a sinister organization known to most of us masquerading as the Association of Dairy Farmers in conjunction with the Rand Corporation and Halliburton is the ruthless mastermind behind the phenomenon known sudden appearance of psoriasis of the scrotum. They have been spiking all of our dairy products with a toxic chemical known as 2-3-4-5-Diperenanal (the chemical name is 2-3-4-5-Desoxyribonitrogenc-acid) to cause this deadly outbreak of itchy balls.
It is time we stand up for our rights and demand accountability of behalf of brethren with inflamed and itchy scrotums..
I hate how these greedy mother fuckers poison our scrotums for financial gain!!!
Look at the evidence www.prisonplanet.com/inflamedscrotum.
And if you do not believe that, www.moveon.org/stoptheitch
Try to deny THE EVIDENCE! www.youtube.com/bush If you ever watch George Bush on TV you will notice he never has to pause to scratch his scrotum. He is not effected, therefore Halliburton must be involved.
Take action now! Demand an end to scrotal discomfort!
www.forbes.com www.haliburton.com www.dairy.com
I believe that all of the evidence I've shown above is directly related to the 911 conspiracy. Through the use of distracting scrotal rashes Bush and his cohorts were able to create the misdirection to plant explosives in the World Trade Center in order to bring it down on that fateful day.
It is up to you! We MUST act now or we are all fucked!!!
Click here to sign my petition. www.crazydouchebagactivists.org/scrotumconspiracy/
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-01-19 16:37:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Generic TTOM witty response
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-01-19 16:22:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<PORN>
<HEAD>
<SCRIPT LANGUAGE="BUTTSECKS">
< !-- Beginning of Entry -
function MsgBox (Ubergasm) {
alert (Ubergasm) }
// - End of BUTTSECKS - -->
</EXIT>
</HEAD>
</SHOWER>
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-19 16:16:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Electrictoothsyndrome Review Template:
I am not wrong. I do not acknowledge your point, [username]. Actually I might acknowledge it, but I'm still correct about [ominous words, e.g. growing threat, insidious plot, age-old conspiracy of silence, etc.]. In fact, you're wrong for debating with me.
I will be right one day about [ominous words, e.g. growing threat, insidious plot, age-old conspiracy of silence, etc.]. You'll see. You'll all see. About me being right. Oh and if that other stuff happens it'll be pretty awful. But I'll be right. And I will wear a Right Hat. And I will be right. You'll see.
If anyone can produce evidence to the contrary, I will leave this site for good. Only I really won't.
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2007-01-19 16:15:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
heh.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-19 16:15:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You pretty much nailed it but I had to deduct a point because it's about ETS.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-01-19 16:15:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tinfoil hats are itchy
Submitted by Dolson (user info) at 2007-01-19 16:09:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Take action now! Demand [insert unreasonable demand here].
----------------------------------------------------------------------
[People who have time to believe this shit finally get laid]
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2007-01-19 16:07:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah - I laughed.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-19 16:07:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I smiled at the hemorrhoid picture.