A story of the vast, wide Internet (4471 hits)
Category: Computers & InternetRating: 1.86 on 101 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Axolotl (View user info) at 2007-01-22 11:41:28 EST
The grassy marshes of the centuries-abandoned Bergenmeadows was the only green in the area. All around was the wreckage of a civilization, forlorn highway bridges and sparsely-populated high-rises on all sides. Jonas piloted his Wolverine down Highway Nine, gazing all around him at the swamplands.
Jonas was fairly short at six feet, and had dark hair and high jawbones. He was the explorer and historian. Behind him were Michel, the linguist of the group, and Crane, the technology and ordinator expert.
"Be it that you think we weill find an'thing?" asked Forde
"T'maybe," Jonas replied. "Not so much we look to find a'thing, but t'make certain there be no'thing of importantness fore the lands be cleared for reconstructing."
Michel was the youngest, at twenty-six, and he was fascinated with the ancient cities right next to him growing up. The land of Usa was full of history. He had studied history and languages at the University of the City of Brotherlylove, and was a freelance Scholar. He had been hired by a public department of the City of Newyork to investigate some of the Jersy ruins before they were demolished for public housing. With a population of fifty-three billion, the noxious poor of the cities needed someplace to live.
"Hi, Michel, what do say that board?" Crane asked, pointing his finger at a rusty green sign over a collapsed section of ancient bridge. Michel read it, and tried to decipher the ancient English.
NEW JERSEY TURNPIKE EASTERN SPUR TAKE RIGHT FOR RIDGEFIELD, NEW YORK EAST PATERSON WEST
"'Tis a bord that say it be th'greatroad of th'area," Michel replied. "To west be City of Parson, to est be City of Newyork. The area we are in be Ridgefield. 'Tis an old board."
"We have a full moon to do our job," Jonas said, crossing the Highway Nine bridge. "We weill begin herein."
Jonas piloted the Wolverine across a shallow river that reflected the ugly grey skies above, and into a small city. Something struck Michel's mind, and he asked in some perturbation, "How do we look at every one of the buildings?"
"We cannot," Jonas said, bringing the Wolverine to a slower speed. He looked back, smiling, and said, "Chuse a building."
Michel shrugged and pointed at a smaller one that looked like it had been someone's home. Jonas shut down the Wolverine and said, "Let us go."
They exited the Wolverine, and breathed the damp air of the abandoned city. The street was fairly large, and all the buildings stared at one another with empty, drab faces. They were old, built with ancient materials, and they were from the height of the Usa civilization, before the Great Death.
Crane took out his autorecorder and spoke into it in a clear voice, "Day one of landclearing look, latitude 40'55, longitude 74'04, near City of Ridgefield, Bergenmeadows, September thirteenth, 4264. This be Sywitz Crane, University of Columbus. Beginning transtalk."
The wood of the house's frame was rotted from the years, and the team walked in, using flash torches to see in the dark. It was a fairly elaborate house for ancient standards, but it appeared parts had been looted. Michel walked around, looking at the decorations on the walls. This was his favorite part of his job, feeling a closeness to these people, dead for generations.
There was an ancient photograph on the wall showing a family - a father, mother, and two sons. They were all smiling, looking into the camera, perhaps unaware that thousands of years later, they would be studied by someone who was generations beyond them.
"Weill this things be sent to a museum?" Michel asked, his voice echoing throughout the house.
"T'maybe," replied Jonas, who was studying a blocky box attached to the wall by primitive wiring. Jonas was deep in thought, his finger hovering around a button on the front. As if by impulse, he pressed it, and the box sprung to life, a glowing blue light emanating from what appeared to be a screen.
"Hallelujah!" exclaimed Jonas, jumping back. "It be an ancient ordinator!"
"True?" gasped Crane, rushing downstairs. Michel abandoned the picture and went to the box - Jonas was right, it was a rudimentary ordinator. The words flashed across the screen - Windows Vista.
"This be amazing!" Jonas breathed. "The wires be connected yet to power. Never were they unconnected! This be a brilliant discovery!"
"Let me look this thing," Crane said, kneeling down to the old ordinator. "Michel, translate what syllables on the screen."
The desktop was cluttered, unlike the sleek, streamlined ordinators of the day. Crane clicked through some screens, and muttered "By Jesu! This ordinator has only hundred and eighty gigabytes. They do not use nanomachines, nor quantum synapses."
"Expect you different? 'Tis an old machine," Jonas said, his face frozen in joy at his discovery. "Explore this thing, Crane."
Crane clicked through the icons, with some translating help from Michel, finding work material, pictures, and other wonders. There was an image of an emu, long extinct - for what purpose, it was unknown.
"Look, the owner of this has writ a book!" Jonas remarked as Crane opened a Microsoft Word document. "Michel, translate it,"
Michel looked over the words:
We did a five-mile run in track, and then I discovered that I was doing the two-mile run the next day in the Eastside meet. Sarah was sick with a 101 fever, and me and Ari just hung out and talked. She told me about the first time she smoked pot, and we did all our stuff.
Tuesday was our last day before vacation, and without any activity period. We started with French and English, with quizzes in both. Tim was being a dickhead and wouldn't loan Adrian his memory stick, and I got a 93 on our theater quiz in English.
After homeroom was History and Algebra, and then a short chem. Lunch was good, and after was a double T-Dog, where we just messed around. Ray got in trouble for walking in, and Teddy caught us all doing the wave and gave Adrian detention.
For the meet, I tried to tan a bit with Dan and Dom, before any of the enemy arrived. After a long wait Passaic Valley and Eastside Paterson showed up. We beat both schools, and our team ran well. I started off the two mile, and was lapped once, but finished in 13:19.
"'Tis but a recount of his life," Michel said, translating. "'Tis not a book, but he has keeped a journal."
Crane clicked around on the computer a bit more, and opened a folder deep in the system. He was confronted with a picture of a naked woman being penetrated, and laughed. "'Tis pornograms," Crane chuckled. He clicked around a bit more, settling on a little blue icon, and opening it up.
"It say it be the explorer," Michel said. "What be, Internet?"
After a few seconds wait, a page reading Google popped up. There was utter silence. Jonas' breathing was heavy.
"Alas! What have I do?" Jonas breathed, shaking in joy. "...We have found the Internet, I deem! Happy day! Lordamercy, Go'blessus! Rejoice, brothers!"
"What be Internet?" Michel asked.
"'Tis...'tis all the information of the world...'tis the lost webs of the ancients, their knowledge, the source of their power...O happy day! 'Tis a great tool, and a great weapon! We are rich! Rich, forever! We weill take this discovery to the Scholars at Brotherlylove, and they weill write our names in gospels and news around Earth..."
Crane was shocked into stunned silence, typing in words to Google, and having it come up with page upon page of results and data, all seeming to end around the mid twenty-first century. He scanned the results, and picking pages, going back, and then realizing the amazing discovery they had made.
"It say, favorites, history, and address," Michel said excitedly. "Mayhap you write an address in the top bar, for to see the information,"
"For years...hundreds of years, we have tried to find the Internet, the Holy Grail" Jonas said, tears running down his face.
Crane clicked on History, and selected pages at random. Something called Wikipedia enthralled the three men, and they looked in wonder at the knowledge of a lost civilization lay bare to them, information on all the gaps in history. Crane continued, looking through the Favorites marker, reading forums, chats, and a link called Ubersite.
"This seems to be a collecting of humans," Michel said. "Read ye the last messages, it has not been alive since—2012. The site do greet us as an axolotl...? 'Tis a heighty mystery."
"Think ye that so long ago men like us gathered and talked like we do now in this age!" Crane laughed.
"Look...a full recount of the Great Death," Michel said, reading through the posts.
"Return you to that called Wikipedia, but remember you this Uber site's address," Jonas said.
And so Michel, Jonas, and Crane brought their discovery back to the Scholars and Professors of the City of Brotherly love of the Confederation of the Eastern Seaboard, and all were astounded at what they had found. It would be a century before all the information of the internet was uncovered and indexed, but the knowledge there was priceless and some of it new.
Ubersite was studied in depth for years, and eventually the tomb of Bart Cilfone was uncovered several years later in Chicago, his bones testing positive for bird flu. The Scholars saw it as an amazing insight into the minds and hearts of the people of the past.
User Reviews
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-09-15 13:28:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
RIP TTOM AND I NEVER MADE THE MVA?! YOU SON OF A CUNT!
Submitted by Maestro (user info) at 2007-09-15 13:15:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-15 11:07:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is rather clever.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2007-09-15 10:59:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...just too bad Ultimate MS Paint has nearly twice as many hits as the author...according to the sidebar...
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-09-15 10:02:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A scary thought
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-06-08 06:15:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-06-08 04:32:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HARHAR, Ghola's dead...
Submitted by matchstickman (user info) at 2007-06-08 04:04:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shryke (user info) at 2007-01-23 14:28:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
glad to meet you shryke. You're scheduled to be 4 on MVA by April 2012.
I'd best get busy then!
Only 5 years to make it?
This method fellow is rather aggressive isn't he?
===
#5, tbh.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-01-25 03:53:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2007-01-23 16:54:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, please turn this into a serious series. I mean, this was funny as fuck, but I'll be your love slave if you write this into a real story.
Rock on.
Submitted by BadSamaritan87 (user info) at 2007-01-23 16:43:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty wicked.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-23 15:26:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU DONT FOOL ME SHRYKE, I KNOW YOU'RE HERE TO BRING AROUND MY DOWNFALL AND TARNISH MY SUPER COOL UBER REPUTATION
JUST KNOW THAT I WILL NOT GO DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2007-01-23 15:08:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
new jersey sucks
Submitted by Shryke (user info) at 2007-01-23 14:28:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-23 14:07:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shryke (user info) at 2007-01-23 13:44:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-23 13:23:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shryke (user info) at 2007-01-23 13:02:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
That's quite the post!
--------
Oh fuck.....
:-)
Hi Everyone!
I'm Shryke!
I have come from the future to save Ubersite!
---------
lol
glad to meet you shryke. You're scheduled to be 4 on MVA by April 2012.
I'd best get busy then!
Only 5 years to make it?
This method fellow is rather aggressive isn't he?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-23 14:15:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-23 14:07:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
GO AWAY YOU FUCK SUCK
NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE
GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
--------
Are you suggesting Shryke isn't ugghhhhhh some freshmen with horrific teeth and a bowl haircut is next to me
isn't you to PERHAPS DELUDE THE SUSPICIOUN AWAY FROM AGAINST YOU
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-23 14:07:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
GO AWAY YOU FUCK SUCK
NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE
GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-23 14:07:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shryke (user info) at 2007-01-23 13:44:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-23 13:23:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shryke (user info) at 2007-01-23 13:02:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
That's quite the post!
--------
Oh fuck.....
:-)
Hi Everyone!
I'm Shryke!
I have come from the future to save Ubersite!
---------
lol
glad to meet you shryke. You're scheduled to be 4 on MVA by April 2012.
Submitted by Shryke (user info) at 2007-01-23 13:44:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-23 13:23:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shryke (user info) at 2007-01-23 13:02:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
That's quite the post!
--------
Oh fuck.....
:-)
Hi Everyone!
I'm Shryke!
I have come from the future to save Ubersite!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-23 13:23:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shryke (user info) at 2007-01-23 13:02:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
That's quite the post!
--------
Oh fuck.....
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-23 13:21:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shryke (user info) at 2007-01-23 13:02:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
That's quite the post!
----------
Method...<3
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-01-23 13:13:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shryke (user info) at 2007-01-23 13:02:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
That's quite the post!
---------------------------------------------
how did he get here?
Submitted by Shryke (user info) at 2007-01-23 13:02:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's quite the post!
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-01-23 05:32:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I see you download illegal porn,music and movies on utorrent , over an illegal wireless internet connection , and emulating illegal games in a cd-emulator .
That's some basis for future-predictions aswell !
Genius post , btw .
(but you're still an ass...)
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2007-01-23 02:08:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
love this. more please?
Submitted by jojo747 (user info) at 2007-01-22 21:46:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 21:27:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I wrote this specifically for Uber, so Uber has to have a part in it in future installments, which I'm writing now.
They won't be focused on Uber as this one is, but it will be similar.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-01-22 21:19:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you like Frank Sinatra loves cocaine.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-01-22 21:08:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1.5
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-01-22 21:08:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Very good, although it really would have been much better without Ubersite.
I hope you write a longer version without uber in it.
Not because it's too precious (though it is, no offence to uber), but you have a nice take on an idea (future civilisations learning of us) which, when developed further (their discoveries teach us about ourselves), is enjoyed by a good percentage of the population.
Lots of other themes to explore with a longer version, too. As well as all the explaining you need to do.
I like very much the idea of searching for the internet (even more than actually FINDING it, at least so early in the story), but sticking uber in there is gratuitous.
I suspect you already realise this.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 20:53:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-22 20:51:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
OK....for the sedatives.
PS. I'm a Pistols fan, too, so tread lightly.
-------
;(
How about this, I'll send down some Malibu. I work at a liquor store, you know.
I appreciate Johnny Rotten, but not Sid Vicious.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-22 20:51:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OK....for the sedatives.
PS. I'm a Pistols fan, too, so tread lightly.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 20:46:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-22 20:24:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 14:41:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Name this song for +2s on lowest post:
intro:
|---------------------------------------| |--------------------------|
|---------------------------------------| |--------------------------|
|---------------------------------------| |-12-----------------------|
|-12--0-0-3/12-12-0-0-5/12-12-0-0-1/10--| |-12--------10----------12-|
|-12--0-0-3/12-12-0-0-5/12-12-0-0-1/10--|x6 |-12------10------12-------|
|-12--0-0-3/12-12-0-0-5/12-12-0-0-1/10--| |-12-----------------------|
The Farmer in the Dell?
Whatever it is, I'm sure it sounds like shit when you play it.
-------
Jimmy
by Tool
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 20:46:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-22 20:26:18 (#)
Ranking: -2
Did you say that the Ramones suck?
A) You'll never receive another positive rating from Shlongy
2) You're a moron
3) You have a 50/50 chance of being a lifetime virgin
-------
I might have been thinking of the Sex Pistols.
In any case, it could just be looking back on the punk genre from today's standpoint. I see them as simplistic beyond belief. Don't worry, I'm shipping some nerve sediments down to HH for you.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-22 20:26:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Did you say that the Ramones suck?
A) You'll never receive another positive rating from Shlongy
2) You're a moron
3) You have a 50/50 chance of being a lifetime virgin
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-22 20:24:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 14:41:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Name this song for +2s on lowest post:
intro:
|---------------------------------------| |--------------------------|
|---------------------------------------| |--------------------------|
|---------------------------------------| |-12-----------------------|
|-12--0-0-3/12-12-0-0-5/12-12-0-0-1/10--| |-12--------10----------12-|
|-12--0-0-3/12-12-0-0-5/12-12-0-0-1/10--|x6 |-12------10------12-------|
|-12--0-0-3/12-12-0-0-5/12-12-0-0-1/10--| |-12-----------------------|
The Farmer in the Dell?
Whatever it is, I'm sure it sounds like shit when you play it.
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-01-22 20:21:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i really liked this, keep 'em coming man
verrrry original
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-22 19:59:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 19:46:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-22 18:44:24 (#)
Ranking: 1
Let's just get it over with, shall we?
<runs for his life>
--------
Method, you have done it now. Prepare to meet with my internet-wrath.
Run, run while I prepare a DoS attack! Best Buy awaits you.
--------
actually dude, a 1.99 is the best ranking you can have - any douche can get a 2.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 19:46:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-22 18:44:24 (#)
Ranking: 1
Let's just get it over with, shall we?
<runs for his life>
--------
Method, you have done it now. Prepare to meet with my internet-wrath.
Run, run while I prepare a DoS attack! Best Buy awaits you.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-01-22 19:38:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 17:56:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-01-22 17:41:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry i can't in good faith give this a +2 when the dialogue has so many spelling and grammar errors.
---------
Serious or not?
____________
Did i give it a +2 or not?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-22 19:17:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is awesome, Ax.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-01-22 19:15:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-22 19:12:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The ticking was for when someone'd break the +2 streak.
"Shocker" below.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-22 18:44:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Let's just get it over with, shall we?
<runs for his life>
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 18:29:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-22 17:57:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
tickticktickticktickticktickticktickticktickticktickticktickticktickticktickticktick...
(place your bets folks)
-------
Easily within the week.
For you, I'd give it a month.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-22 17:57:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
tickticktickticktickticktickticktickticktickticktickticktickticktickticktickticktick...
(place your bets folks)
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 17:56:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-01-22 17:41:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry i can't in good faith give this a +2 when the dialogue has so many spelling and grammar errors.
---------
Serious or not?
It's a future evolution of the English language.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-01-22 17:54:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you invented this "future lingo" in order to make up for your inevitable spelling and grammatical errors. ;)
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-22 17:45:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit kid, this was good, and that fucking uberscreen cracked me up.
LONG LIVE THE PANDEMIC!
...so to speak.
--
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Jack_McCallum/l/pandemic
I started it!
Ha-ha ha-haaaaa-ha!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-01-22 17:43:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ghola died!?!?!?
That blows massive amounts of cock.
Regardless, it seems I still live...
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-01-22 17:41:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry i can't in good faith give this a +2 when the dialogue has so many spelling and grammar errors.
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-01-22 17:08:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Amazing. Amazing. Amazing.
Its like, awesome, kickass, badass, sweet, and bitchin' rolled into a big ball of chaos then sorted out into a series of sentences.
Mind blowing.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 16:46:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bosh below.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-01-22 16:45:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-22 16:36:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 16:04:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-22 15:54:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHO THIS AWFUL SHRYKE CHARACTER IS
HE SEEMS LIKE A TROUBLEMAKER OF THE HIGHEST CALIBER
--------
He is the 2008 model of the troll, ie I_Have_A_DegreelessBaboonFace v4.0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-22 15:54:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHO THIS AWFUL SHRYKE CHARACTER IS
HE SEEMS LIKE A TROUBLEMAKER OF THE HIGHEST CALIBER
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-01-22 15:49:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/97936#2285499
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-22 15:44:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Another +2 because you put me higher up on the MVA.
Kissing ass will get you nothing but goodness from me.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-01-22 15:30:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That picture is awesome.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2007-01-22 15:22:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Breast Ever!
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2007-01-22 15:18:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's hard to write about Uber and not suck. Well done.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 15:17:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Tab below is in drop D tuning, by the way.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 15:16:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
More coming soon.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2007-01-22 15:10:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
More please
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 15:07:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
intro:
|---------------------------------------|
|---------------------------------------|
|---------------------------------------|
|-12--0-0-3/12-12-0-0-5/12-12-0-0-1/10--|
|-12--0-0-3/12-12-0-0-5/12-12-0-0-1/10--|x6
|-12--0-0-3/12-12-0-0-5/12-12-0-0-1/10--|
Sorry there radical rad, you can blame Bart.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-22 15:05:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
make your tab look logical
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 14:41:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Name this song for +2s on lowest post:
intro:
|---------------------------------------| |--------------------------|
|---------------------------------------| |--------------------------|
|---------------------------------------| |-12-----------------------|
|-12--0-0-3/12-12-0-0-5/12-12-0-0-1/10--| |-12--------10----------12-|
|-12--0-0-3/12-12-0-0-5/12-12-0-0-1/10--|x6 |-12------10------12-------|
|-12--0-0-3/12-12-0-0-5/12-12-0-0-1/10--| |-12-----------------------|
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-22 14:07:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
jesus kid.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-22 14:06:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Really good - now I want more
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-01-22 13:51:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-22 13:49:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
beauty, eh.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 13:37:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2007-01-22 13:23:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think this is my favourite thing ever posted on here.
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Mine is your George Bush poem.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-01-22 13:31:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
moar plz
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-01-22 13:23:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Save your prognostications...
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2007-01-22 13:23:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think this is my favourite thing ever posted on here.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-01-22 13:23:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 13:04:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I picked the Bird Flu since it's something that's been in the news, and something with the potential to kill a lot of people.
It wasn't mentioned, but the Great Death is a combination of Bird Flu, rising sea levels, and biological disease
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-22 13:01:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I read it
And no, it's not possible. I'm immortal. I also don't like this Shryke character.
Why, of all things though, did you pick the bird flu?
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-01-22 12:57:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OK, that does it.
I want a copy of your first published work.
Damnit.
Submitted by street-pirate (user info) at 2007-01-22 12:49:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 12:47:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Doogsterville (user info) at 2007-01-22 12:17:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent writing. Makes one wonder if it truely is only a matter of time. I saw Children of Men over the weekend and in reading this post I thought of some of the premises put forth in that.
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ahhh I wanted to see that, how was it?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 12:46:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-22 12:28:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha "The pandemic is a conspiracy"
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haha yea guess whose name i changed on the MVA to make that one up?
Method read #9 on the MRR
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-22 12:28:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha "The pandemic is a conspiracy"
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-01-22 12:23:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 11:42:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
I can do more if people are interested.
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YES! More!
Submitted by Doogsterville (user info) at 2007-01-22 12:17:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent writing. Makes one wonder if it truely is only a matter of time. I saw Children of Men over the weekend and in reading this post I thought of some of the premises put forth in that.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-01-22 12:07:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantastic!
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-22 12:05:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nicely done
Submitted by Hagard (user info) at 2007-01-22 12:03:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit, this was good.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 12:01:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-22 12:00:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 11:57:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-22 11:56:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
5K or so until your MVA inauguration.
Prepare the imperial violet and the crown for the Infanta.
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I wanna see you right up there behind me, Sweetheart.
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Isolated, and taken out of context, that's a bait-line for a Dateline exclusive.
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http://www.fbi.gov
The fact you live near washington will only make it easier for FBI Menz to drop through your roof to take you to the secret prisons in the Maldives.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-01-22 12:00:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This looks interesting, I'll read it tomorrow, you've capitalised apollo88 and professorfuckface though.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 12:00:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-22 11:51:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Aside from the obligatory name-drop auto +2, this was outstanding. Do more.
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Thanks, I think I will. Taking back Uber and all that.
I'm thinking a series of people looking back on future Ubersite messages two thousand years from now and analyzing them in accordance with their culture.h
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-22 12:00:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 11:57:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-22 11:56:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
5K or so until your MVA inauguration.
Prepare the imperial violet and the crown for the Infanta.
------
I wanna see you right up there behind me, Sweetheart.
---
Isolated, and taken out of context, that's a bait-line for a Dateline exclusive.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 11:58:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shit apollo88 is lowercase isn't it?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 11:57:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-22 11:56:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
5K or so until your MVA inauguration.
Prepare the imperial violet and the crown for the Infanta.
------
I wanna see you right up there behind me, Sweetheart.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-01-22 11:57:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-22 11:56:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kids these days are too fucking clever.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-22 11:56:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
5K or so until your MVA inauguration.
Prepare the imperial violet and the crown for the Infanta.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-01-22 11:54:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GMCrayon (user info) at 2007-01-22 11:52:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So this is how you spell "bleak"
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-22 11:51:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Aside from the obligatory name-drop auto +2, this was outstanding. Do more.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-22 11:42:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can do more if people are interested.
Re my last post: things seem like a better idea at 3 am than they do in the day time.