So You Guys Want To Hit Me Where It Hurts? Fine! I Only Have One Thing To Say: (1447 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.27 on 63 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by frankthebear (View user info) at 2007-01-23 04:26:39 EST
It had been a long night at the hotel. Frank was exhausted, having swept and mopped the lobby, finished off the laundry, prepared the continental breakfast, and cleaned the employee bathroom. He sat in the back office, waiting for seven o'clock so he could go home and get some sleep.
His laptop sitting next to him was playing some music, and slowly, Frank's head drooped down to the desk with the sounds of Tenacious D lulling him to sleep...
BATTLE OF THE SUPERFRIENDS
EPISODE XXXXII
NO GOING BACK
AFTER MANY DEFEATS, THE SUPERFRIENDS
HAVE RETREATED INTO EXILE. THEIR MASTER,
PAINTITBLACK, HAD BEEN KILLED BY THE EVIL
EMPEROR BARTBART AND HIS APPRENTICE,
DARTH SICOSEMEN.
NOT SATISFIED WITH THE RETREAT OF THE
SUPERFRIENDS, DARTH SICOSEMEN DISPATCHED
AN ALTER TO INFILTRATE THEIR HIDEOUT AND
DISCOVER THEIR MOST HUMILIATING SECRETS.
GAINING THE TRUST OF THE KIND HEARTED
MASTER FRANKTHEBEAR, THE ALTER, BRITTNEY,
SEDUCED HIM AND TRICKED HIM INTO DIVULGING
EMBARRASING PERSONAL INFORMATION.
BRITTNEY THEN REVEALED HER TRUE IDENTITY AND,
TO FURTHER HUMILIATE FRANKTHEBEAR, DESTROYED
HIS HOMEWORLD. HAVING LOST HIS DIGNITY, AS WELL
AS THE TRUST AND RESPECT OF HIS COMPANIONS, THE
SUPERFRIENDS CAST FRANKTHEBEAR OUT.
NOW ON A MISSION OR REVENGE, FRANKTHEBEAR
HAS SEARCHED THE UBERVERSE, BENT ON RESTORING HIS
SHATTERED EGO...
Master Frankthebear brought his star cruiser out of hyperspace and found himself in orbit over Sicos, the home world of Darth Sicosemen. He had trailed the alter, Brittany, halfway across the Uberverse, and now he would have his revenge.
Activating the cloaking module, Frankthebear piloted his cruiser into the atmosphere, evading the scanners of local enforcement agencies. He did a scan of the area and soon found the engine signature of Brittany's cruiser. He followed it and soon came to the citadel of Darth Sicosemen.
It was perched on the side of a mountain overlooking the sea. Frankthebear landed his cruiser and got out. Almost immediately he felt the presence of Sicosemen. They had battled before, yet even with all the Superfriends against him, Sicosemen had survived and escaped.
Frankthebear didn't know if he could take him alone, but there was no longer any choice in the matter. His honor was at stake, and he would fight Sicosemen with all his strength. He unclipped his lightsaber from his belt and made his way towards Sicosemen's citadel.
At the entrance waited Brittany, and behind her, Sicosemen. With a gesture, Sicosemen made Brittany vanish in a puff of lies.
"And so here you are." He mocked, smirking. "Nice to see you again, 'sweet pea.'"
"Don't you dare call me that!" Roared Frankthebear, activating his light saber and lunging at Sicosemen.
Sicosemen drew his own light saber and countered with his own attack. They battled for what seemed hours. Sicosemen's smirk and cocky attitude had vanished with the ferocity of Frankthebear's attack. All seemed lost for Sicosemen when all of a sudden...
"EXCUSE ME! SIR? I'd like to check out now!" Frank jerked awake and turned to the front desk where an irate businessman was holding up a small envelope holding his key card.
"Sorry sir, I must have dozed off" Said Frank sheepishly and getting up.
"You must have been having quite a dream, you kept mumbling something about light sabers and semen." Said the businessman with an amused look on his face. Frank finished the checkout and wished the businessman a good day. He sat down and tried to remember the details of the dream. Oh yes of course, sicosemen had played him for a fool and humiliated him for all of Ubersite to see.
Too bad he hadn't saved the e-mails from "Brittany," it might have helped him save a little face from the whole ordeal. Well he'd just have to strike back with the only weapon he had: poorly written short stories featuring him as the hero. Not too effective, really, but at least it was something to do...
User Reviews
Submitted by sweetcheebs (user info) at 2007-01-24 13:20:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And I thought sicos made it all up.
+2 for class Frank
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-01-24 08:17:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-23 18:03:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
The +2 is for not showing us your penis, Frank.
This guy is adapting to Uber like a natural !
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2007-01-24 07:54:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-24 07:26:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
MO FEST!
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2007-01-24 07:11:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-24 03:56:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2007-01-24 03:48:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-24 03:29:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-24 00:15:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2007-01-24 00:00:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-23 23:17:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
BRING BACK PAINT IT BLACK
____________
UNBAN STOK
++++++++++++
KILL WHITEY
============
FREE HAT
____________
CHILDREN TASTE LIKE BACON!
______----
Always taking it one step too far aren't you franky? -2 pie
----------
I normally negative rate anything with any reference to superfwends but this review made me laugh and the post wasn't as godawful as I expected.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-24 03:56:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2007-01-24 03:48:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-24 03:29:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-24 00:15:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2007-01-24 00:00:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-23 23:17:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
BRING BACK PAINT IT BLACK
____________
UNBAN STOK
++++++++++++
KILL WHITEY
============
FREE HAT
____________
CHILDREN TASTE LIKE BACON!
______----
Always taking it one step too far aren't you franky? -2 pie
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2007-01-24 03:48:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-24 03:29:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-24 00:15:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2007-01-24 00:00:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-23 23:17:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
BRING BACK PAINT IT BLACK
____________
UNBAN STOK
++++++++++++
KILL WHITEY
============
FREE HAT
____________
CHILDREN TASTE LIKE BACON!
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-24 03:29:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-24 00:15:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2007-01-24 00:00:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-23 23:17:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
BRING BACK PAINT IT BLACK
____________
UNBAN STOK
++++++++++++
KILL WHITEY
============
FREE HAT
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-24 00:15:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2007-01-24 00:00:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-23 23:17:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
BRING BACK PAINT IT BLACK
____________
UNBAN STOK
++++++++++++
KILL WHITEY
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2007-01-24 00:00:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-23 23:17:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
BRING BACK PAINT IT BLACK
____________
UNBAN STOK
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-23 23:17:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BRING BACK PAINT IT BLACK
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-01-23 22:47:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
okay you can only post once a month now.
wanna make it two you just keep it up, mister.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-01-23 22:33:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2007-01-23 18:31:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Frank roolz
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-23 18:03:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I couldn't care less whether or not any freak who visits this site is a virgin. Just make me laugh, bitches. And don't be cruel about it. Undignified, I tell you.
The +2 is for not showing us your penis, Frank.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2007-01-23 17:30:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Virgin below
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-01-23 15:38:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm not even going to read what you wrote because you're a virgin.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-01-23 15:37:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2007-01-23 15:29:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.viagra.com
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2007-01-23 15:26:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
3rd person auto -2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-23 14:31:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-23 09:27:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
It's ok Frank, I'm a virgin too
-----
well, with women anyways
Submitted by Talibandrew (user info) at 2007-01-23 14:26:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
star wars themed...such a nerd
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-01-23 14:19:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Apollo............. Ubersites very own Deuce Bigalow!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-23 14:01:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this post is virgin on the ridiculous!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-23 13:05:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
PS. Even that ring looks gay.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-23 12:55:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Dolson (user info) at 2007-01-23 11:52:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I really don't care what Simon posts, but...
FOR DISCLOSING THAT LITTLE DETAIL ON THE INTERNET, YOU MAY BE ONE OF THE STUPIDEST PEOPLE ON THE PLANET EARTH!!!
Were it not for people like you, there would be no fraud, thievery, or breaches of privacy in the world.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-01-23 11:19:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this was fucking ghey
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-23 10:58:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You know how you could've made that goood?
If that little story was an intro to something like this: http://www.ubersite.com/m/91211
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-23 10:33:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Karl: You don't belong here. You're a fraud and a phony and it's only
a matter of time until they find you out.
Homer: (gasps) Who told you?
Simpson and Delilah
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-01-23 10:30:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
GODDAMMIT I AM RETIRED!!!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-01-23 10:29:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
:(
retired.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-23 10:29:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
37?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-23 10:28:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No you can't, and try not to suck any dicks on the way to the parking lot
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-01-23 10:19:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
can i be a virgin too?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-23 10:19:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm Spartacus.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-01-23 10:18:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-23 09:27:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
It's ok Frank, I'm a virgin too
-
No I'M the Virgin; and I have the callouses to prove it.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-01-23 10:16:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-23 09:27:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
It's ok Frank, I'm a virgin too
-------------
He is.
ok ok ok so am I.
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-01-23 10:14:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-01-23 10:08:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-23 09:23:37 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2007-01-23 04:47:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Virgin or not, you shouldn't care one iota what anyone on Ubersite, the ultimate cesspool of social failures, thinks about you.
Plus I liked that last paragraph
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-23 10:07:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So are fungi.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-23 10:07:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lisa's growing on me.
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2007-01-23 09:59:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2007-01-23 04:47:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Everybody here is a pitiful, deranged reject. Really, they're all at least two of the following: ugly, unable to function properly in social situations, addicted, clinically insane, or suffering from crippling insecurity. Virgin or not, you shouldn't care one iota what anyone on Ubersite, the ultimate cesspool of social failures, thinks about you.
~~~~~~
So you knowingly include yourself in that category by saying "everybody." Doesn't paint the best picture of you, since it seems as though you are talking down to the rest of Uber in that little rant.
Good job Frank, on not stooping to his level
Very anticlimactic, though
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-23 09:53:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-23 09:27:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
It's ok Frank, I'm a virgin too
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-23 09:27:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's ok Frank, I'm a virgin too
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-23 09:23:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2007-01-23 04:47:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Virgin or not, you shouldn't care one iota what anyone on Ubersite, the ultimate cesspool of social failures, thinks about you.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-23 09:16:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, aren't you that Uber-mo that started a club with the other Uber rejects, outcasts and losers?
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2007-01-23 09:09:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2007-01-23 04:47:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Everybody here is a pitiful, deranged reject. Really, they're all at least two of the following: ugly, unable to function properly in social situations, addicted, clinically insane, or suffering from crippling insecurity. Virgin or not, you shouldn't care one iota what anyone on Ubersite, the ultimate cesspool of social failures, thinks about you.
-----------------
I beg to differ, as I am none of the above. I do agree with the last statement however, and here's a +2 for keeping your head up and showing some class.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-01-23 09:02:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No more -2's for you frankie, you are upgraded to -1's for having more class than anyone on this site, including me.
Submitted by scum101 (user info) at 2007-01-23 08:38:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
kjhgsokhgsknvlksnvksnvjsnlsk
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2007-01-23 08:24:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The business man part was hilarious.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-01-23 07:37:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-01-23 05:30:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
I am remarkably secure in my inability to function properly in social situations.
---------
As am I. Though the parties where I know no one are challenging.
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2007-01-23 05:52:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I'm going to attach this pic to all my posts from now on...
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-01-23 05:51:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well played sir.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2007-01-23 05:51:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
insecure probrably. I mean i don't know what do you guys think?
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2007-01-23 05:37:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
franky rock on
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-23 05:33:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-01-23 05:30:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
I am remarkably secure in my inability to function properly in social situations.
---
freak.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-01-23 05:30:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2007-01-23 04:47:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Everybody here is a pitiful, deranged reject. Really, they're all at least two of the following: ugly, unable to function properly in social situations, addicted, clinically insane, or suffering from crippling insecurity. Virgin or not, you shouldn't care one iota what anyone on Ubersite, the ultimate cesspool of social failures, thinks about you.
That simon guy is a transparent piece of crap. He signs his fucking posts. You think he's qualified to teach anybody a lesson on coolness?
------------------------------------
I am remarkably secure in my inability to function properly in social situations.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-23 05:09:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2007-01-23 04:47:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Everybody here is a pitiful, deranged reject. Really, they're all at least two of the following: ugly, unable to function properly in social situations, addicted, clinically insane, or suffering from crippling insecurity. Virgin or not, you shouldn't care one iota what anyone on Ubersite, the ultimate cesspool of social failures, thinks about you.
That simon guy is a transparent piece of crap. He signs his fucking posts. You think he's qualified to teach anybody a lesson on coolness?
---
I am none of those things.
Well... perhaps a little insane.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-23 05:07:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Right fucking on.
I'm sure you will make someone a lovely husband someday.
Of course, that makes you a little gay.
Still, well played.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-01-23 04:49:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Yep this is the way to get that cred back Bear. Do you actually go Larping?
I'm giving you a +1 here because I thought you acted very decently on the slagging post, and managed to shut it down very effectively.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2007-01-23 04:47:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Everybody here is a pitiful, deranged reject. Really, they're all at least two of the following: ugly, unable to function properly in social situations, addicted, clinically insane, or suffering from crippling insecurity. Virgin or not, you shouldn't care one iota what anyone on Ubersite, the ultimate cesspool of social failures, thinks about you.
That simon guy is a transparent piece of crap. He signs his fucking posts. You think he's qualified to teach anybody a lesson on coolness?
Submitted by jet_stream_nz (user info) at 2007-01-23 04:37:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Can't keep away Jay?
Why haven't you topped yourself yet?
How's the shrink going?