This should be interesting with introcutory picture (697 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -0.21 on 51 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Thumbalina (View user info) at 2007-01-24 09:01:59 EST
So I started my new job last week. It has been mostly boring. Filling out paperwork, health insurance stuff, identification cards, etc. etc. I figured it would be just as boring as my last except for this week which has started off a bit differently than the last one.
Today as I walked past the security guard he looked at me and said, "nice tits." Now I have to agree with him and truly, he was pretty damn good looking anyway. (love men in uniform) I am torn between just running with it or becoming the feminist bitch I could be and bust his ass for sexual harassment.
Truth is when I came through the gates later for lunch he commented on my ass and I gave him my number. I may be a whore but whatever we all need to get laid. It has been awhile for me.
I know that is not very interesting but as I worked my way to my office I found a pile of stuff that was required to be copied. I picked it up and walked to the copy room, punched in the security numbers and opened the door.
My eyes nearly melted and I felt my nether regions tighten as I saw something that I was not sure I would ever talk about. There stood a man with his fat, hairy bare ass hanging out. His pants were around his ankles and he was working as hard as he could to work his little dick into the copy machine. WTF???
I am not sure as to what this guys position is around here but I know his office is only a few feet from my desk as I watched him walk past after I left in horror from the awful sight I saw. I am not sure exactly what to do with this one. I am guessing I will just wait and see if he has any pull and my job and hold it over his head to get what I want.
It gets better though.
There are several storage areas in the department. I am not sure what they are all for but I have the passcodes for all of them. I am guessing that I will need to get into them all for something. So before I left yesterday I decided to inventory them so I know where to go if I find myself needing something.
The first one proved to be normal stuff. Paper, pencils and all kinds of other normal office shit. So I moved on to the second one and found the next surprise of the day.
I hit the numbers and walked in and once again my eyes burned in pain.
On the table of this mostly empty storage space were to blobs of fat, nasty, sweating employees going at it with no sense of rhythm or respect for humanity. I have never seen anything like it. They stopped and immediately started jumping around going for there clothes.
~I don't know about you but I probably would have said to get out and just finished.~
Have you ever seen fat people try to dress fast when they are already out of breath? I didn't mean to stare but I had to. When I finally gained my bearings I backed out and left the office.
They are both in my department and both married to someone else. I know this because it is my job to store private data about everyone in the department.
Well people. I am guessing I should just hold this info for possible needs later as well even though these two really are not in a position over me or would ever affect my movement upwards.
Well I am new and have not been allowed to post for a few months since I signed up. I was brought to this site by a friend of mine. Seemed like a good place to tell a story like this one.
Wish me luck with my date on SAT.
User Reviews
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-01-31 10:15:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-01-31 10:14:39 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-01-31 10:11:59 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2007-01-26 16:04:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
loki=auto+2
Submitted by Thumbalina (user info) at 2007-01-31 08:55:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
loki=auto+2
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Similarities anyone?
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Sorry... didn't realise Rob called it already.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-01-25 14:13:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, he sounds classy.
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:59:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2don'tgiveashit
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-25 05:00:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
> Can someone tell me why:
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lots to be said for cute and stupid.
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:26:36 (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually you have awful spelling..............
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> Was responded to by moneyshotforyou:
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"Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:29:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:26:36 (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually you have awful spelling..............
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Sorry. English is my second language. I have only been at it for a few years."
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> Which, while really a random thing to say... doesn't quite match up with what was said earlier:
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Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:14:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds like where I work. We just accept it there.
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> which was soon followed by:
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Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:30:17 (#)
Ranking: -2
I am not a whore.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:30:43 (#)
Ranking: -2
Shenanigans
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So that is a +2, a 0 with a weird random comment, and then 2 harsh -2s after weird comment.
I am callin' it right now:
Moneyshot = this crappy new (hot) alter.
I thank you.
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2007-01-24 20:59:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Looks like you need a chin-strap to hold that bigass Def Leppard doo to your head, sweetie.
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-01-24 20:34:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hey nice tits
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-01-24 17:29:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
goddammit at least make it subtle, alter.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-01-24 16:34:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
alter
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-01-24 15:52:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by scum101 (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:17:00 (#)
Ranking: -1
desperate nerds below
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2007-01-24 14:00:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
1st half was allright, bit fattest after that skinny bitch.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-24 13:50:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just read this post and after reading this pile of happy horseshit, it had better be one helluva snatch shot to get a +1 out of me.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-24 13:35:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll tell you what: That picture isn't bad, although I can't see your dumper and will have to go on the assumption that it's huge, like pretty much the rest of the Uber broads but...
If you show me your hole, and I like it, I'll up this to +1.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2007-01-24 13:24:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So wait...the security guard sexually harrasses you and you give him your number, because...you need to get laid.
Then, you see the dude in the office next to you trying to shove his dick in the copier.
Then, you see two fat naked people fucking in a storage room.
Then, you attach a pic of an incredibly cute chickie.
Do I have all this correctly?? Am I supposed to buy all this?
Whatever. Apparently, I'm easily entertained.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-24 12:42:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack McCallum's latest alter.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-01-24 12:33:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I'd probably bone you.
If I wasn't a virgin who doesn't know how to handle his own penos.
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2007-01-24 12:20:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
seriously crap
Submitted by GnarlsBarkley (user info) at 2007-01-24 11:58:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Jesus, you have so much fucking hair!
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-01-24 11:57:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That picture that you chose for this alter is too thin. I don't like it when it looks like can accidentally snap their arms if you're not careful.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2007-01-24 11:55:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Truth would have been more interesting.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2007-01-24 11:45:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OMG I SO WHANT TO FUK YOUU!11!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-24 11:04:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-01-24 10:35:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Next post deals with "Thumbalina" telling us about her wonderful assortment of strap-on dildo devices and how much her male lover likes to receive a good, swift anal pounding...
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Its called pegging, chaos-ching.
God. Do I have to do everything for you?
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-24 10:39:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Does he know she's fucking the security guards at work?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:54:51 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:53:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
You all do realize that this is Caulaincourts girlfriend, right?
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Nice call Method...
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-01-24 10:35:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Next post deals with "Thumbalina" telling us about her wonderful assortment of strap-on dildo devices and how much her male lover likes to receive a good, swift anal pounding...
Submitted by Thumbalina (user info) at 2007-01-24 10:28:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not quite the reception I was expecting.
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2007-01-24 10:12:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Alters are a waste of everyone's time.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:54:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:53:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
You all do realize that this is Caulaincourts girlfriend, right?
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Nice call Method...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:53:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You all do realize that this is Caulaincourts girlfriend, right?
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:30:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Shenanigans
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:30:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I am not a whore.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:29:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:26:36 (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually you have awful spelling..............
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Sorry. English is my second language. I have only been at it for a few years.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:29:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
lots to be said for cute and stupid.
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:26:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually you have awful spelling..............
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:22:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
suggestion of tits, without the goods = -2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:19:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Welcome aboard.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:19:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-1 Shenanigans
-1 You started a post with the word "so"
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:17:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're damn straight I'm desperate, I'm a virgin and I would like to see vagina up close and personal before I die. This dumb broad might just let me see her snatch if I play my cards right
Submitted by scum101 (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:17:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
desperate nerds below
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:16:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Im not convinced this guy is right for you!! Plus you call him dressed like a reject Action Man..... a uniform!!
you made me moist too
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:16:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Mine either, it think my dick would like her mouth... but unlike some I'm able to keep the two concepts seperate.
Submitted by ooQueso (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:06:59 (#)
Ranking: -2
Ok, now I read it. As much of it as I could cram into my unwilling brain, anyway. My brain doesn't like your writing.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:14:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds like where I work. We just accept it there.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:12:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're as dumb as a sack of rocks AND cute.
Thanks for the introcutory. I don't care if you're an alter, I would marry you in a heartbeat
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:12:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
On second thought besides you being a whore the rest of that post was total bullshit, there's no way you caught three people naked in your office just by chance in one day. The whore part is all good and well but -2 for being a lying whore!
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:11:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice tits indeed auto +2
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:10:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shananigans
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:10:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm actually curious as to who decided to birth an alter that's a cross between carol richards, martha stewart and shandy 'spel reel gud' thedog.
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:09:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
YAY... Just what we need, more reasonably decent looking, slutty loose women with low moral standards willing to fuck virtually any suitable specimen - even a lowly security guard. WOOHOO!
P.S. Honey, laughing at you not with you. :)
"Today as I walked past the security guard he looked at me and said, "nice tits." Now I have to agree with him and truly, he was pretty damn good looking anyway. (love men in uniform) I am torn between just running with it or becoming the feminist bitch I could be and bust his ass for sexual harassment.
Truth is when I came through the gates later for lunch he commented on my ass and I gave him my number. I may be a whore but whatever we all need to get laid. It has been awhile for me. "
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:08:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Welcome to Uber. Please visit http://www.learngrammarnow.com
Actually, what am I saying.
This is Uber.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:07:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaahahahahaha , that was funny ! smiled twice , so +2...
If you lived around my corner , i would like to zoom in a bit ...
Submitted by ooQueso (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:06:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ok, now I read it. As much of it as I could cram into my unwilling brain, anyway. My brain doesn't like your writing.
Submitted by ooQueso (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:05:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the mass of hair. I don't know why, but +2 for it.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2007-01-24 09:04:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Congratulations you work in a brothel.