Job Description (426 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.64 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DJMattB241 (View user info) at 2007-01-25 00:38:15 EST
I often wonder if I'm going to put my current job on my resume when I "grow up." I mean, I have to say I've been doing *something* for the past year or so... but sometimes I think putting something like "secured a Wii on launch day" or "micro-managed music collection" might sound better. At least it shows initiative and willingness to complete objectives.
I work in Accounts Payable. More specifically, I work with the night crew for AP. This is different than regular AP in that all we basically do is file and sort and organize and find and etc, thereby freeing dayside AP to do their jobs of... whatever... talking on the phone? I don't know. My point is basically, there is almost no interaction at all between any of us, besides when we're not working. Outside of goofing off, no one has any need to speak to any other person.
For example, I vendor invoice. This means that I take invoices received from our suppliers, and enter them into our system, matching them up with what our system says the invoice should be. This is all I do. For seven hours a day, Monday thru Friday, and occasionally for four hours on Saturday. This job requires me to speak to exactly zero people through the course of my day. Zero. No interaction with humans required at all.
So what's left to do with my mind? My job is about as mentally challenging as eating jello. If I didn't have to actually look at the invoice I was entering, I could probably read a book with one hand while typing with the other. A lightly trained monkey could do my job, and probably a lot better because he wouldn't be so preoccupied with how brain-dead his job was.
The only thing left to do is listen to music. Not MY music. The music piped in through their satellite station. I get to hear amazingly awesome songs such as:
James Blunt - You're Beautiful
The Mamas and the Papas - Monday (assumed title)
Shakira - That song that Wyclef Jean ruined with his shitty rapping
Some Band that Isn't Supertramp - Take the Long Way Home
Elvis - Return to Sender
and so much more!
I've analyzed the lyrical meaning behind "Save it for a Rainy Day" by... whoever. (meaning: nothing. at all.) I've pondered the lack of talent present in present-day Cheryl Crow. I've been forced through "Did You Ever Love At All?" (a country song, I guess sung by a couple or something) while wanting to stab my eyes out and use them to plug my ears. I've listened to some guy wail about how "I aaaaam... an innocent maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan" and thought to myself "who hears this shit and thinks 'lets sign this guy. this sounds like something more people should listen to.'?"
It's really amazing.
Yesterday, I wrote an email to our night manager's manager, asking if we could wear headphones. There was no response yet today, but I can't imagine the answer will be yes. There's a million different reasons to say no, and only about three reasons to say yes.
I'll be out of here as soon as I graduate from college, which if everything works out correctly will be at the end of this summer.
As for my resume? I think I'll just put Time Magazine's Person of the Year 2006.
User Reviews
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-01-25 23:01:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"If I have to hear 'Yamo be there' one more time, I'm going to Yamo burn this place to the ground"
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-25 11:30:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Your job sucks but on the plus side it will soon be exported to India or perhaps Malaysia.
The art of the resume IS the art of bullshit. You will just have to embellish that job into something important sounding.
Call yourself an accounts payable analyst. Suggest to your boss that you should use colored tabs on the file folders to make them more readable - translate on your resume to: "Designed and implimented new information filing system."
You get the idea. If done properly it will sound like your are vital to the operation of the company and you have daily meetings with the CEO except you will not actually have told any lies. Welcome to the bullshit world of corporate America.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-01-25 11:05:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
your job sucks
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:35:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-01-25 08:05:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
I would venture to say that forgiveness would be easier to get than permission would be.
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yeah... you're probably right. I just probably wouldn't get away with it for too long. Either someone would rat me out because THEY can't wear headphones (welcome back to high school), or the night manager would come by and bust me.
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2007-01-25 08:55:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Don't mind me, I'm just biding my time until Method shows up to call you a rapist.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-01-25 08:05:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yesterday, I wrote an email to our night manager's manager, asking if we could wear headphones. There was no response yet today, but I can't imagine the answer will be yes. There's a million different reasons to say no, and only about three reasons to say yes.
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I would venture to say that forgiveness would be easier to get than permission would be.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2007-01-25 07:00:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
my very first job was cutting keys at a SEARS.
i would routinely get my hair all caught up in that
machine. security and people from other departments would come running
over to unravel my long locks. i lost that job.
apparently i was an insurance risk.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-25 04:09:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice Distance,
Actually I'd put time magazine of the year as it breaks the ice a bit and shows you have a sense of humor. You won't get the job of course but they will remember you for a day or two.
Submitted by swimmingbirdblue (user info) at 2007-01-25 02:27:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think your job may actually be worse than mine. Poor sap.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-01-25 01:49:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2007-01-25 00:54:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I put poker player on my last resume. It was obviously the first thing they asked about, and I explained that it was my largest source of income during 2006 and they were impressed and I took my new boss out to play a few weeks later.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-01-25 00:51:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think that is a brilliant idea.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-25 00:49:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't read it. Fucking server's down again. +2 for everybody. FTW.
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2007-01-25 00:49:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't want to look like a weirdo. I'll just go with a muumuu.
-- Homer Simpson
King-Size Homer
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-01-25 00:43:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0