"The Alter of the Opera" - Act IV, Finale (335 hits)
Category: Sound & MusicLabels: alter_of_the_opera ubermusical
Rating: 1.3 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by CaptainThorns (View user info) at 2007-01-26 09:28:40 EST
Prologue and Act I - http://www.ubersite.com/m/97841
Act II - http://www.ubersite.com/m/97997
Act III - http://www.ubersite.com/m/98036
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~~~ Wandering Girl ... / Bravo, Monsieur ... ~~~
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): WANDERING GIRL, SO LOST, SO HELPLESS ...YEARNING FOR MY GUIDANCE ...
GHOLA (CHRISTINE): Alter or father ... friend ... or Alter ... ? Who is it there, staring ... ?
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN YOUR ALTER ... ?
GHOLA (CHRISTINE): Alter ... oh, speak ...What endless longings echo in this whisper ... !
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): TOO LONG YOU'VE WANDERED IN SILENCE ...FAR FROM MY FAR-REACHING GRIP ...
GHOLA (CHRISTINE): Wildly my fists beat against you ...
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): YOU RESIST ...
BOTH: As your/MY penis slips!
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): ALTER OF UBER! YOU DENIED ME, TURNING FROM TRUE KNOWLEDGE... ALTER OF UBER! DO NOT SHUN ME ... COME TO YOUR STRANGE ALTER!
GHOLA (CHRISTINE): Alter of Uber! I denied you, turning from true knowledge ...Alter of Uber! My true savior ... Come to me, strange Alter!
* hypnotized, Ghola starts to create an alter *
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): I AM YOUR ALTER OF UBER ...COME TO ME: ALTER OF UBER ...
* Scourge rushes onto Uber in a frenzied panic *
SCOURGE (RAOUL): Leave her! You have no claim on her ... Leave her! Your words are wasted -- Can't you see she'll never be yours? Ghola! Ghola!
* Ghola snaps out of the hypnotic spell and cancels the submission of her alter *
GHOLA (CHRISTINE): Scourge!
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): BRAVO, MONSIEUR! SUCH SPIRITED WORDS! * starts slinging insults all over Scourge's posts *
SCOURGE (RAOUL): More tricks, monsieur?
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): LET'S SEE, MONSIEUR, HOW FAR YOU DARE GO? *continues trashing posts*
SCOURGE (RAOUL): More deception? More violence?
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S RIGHT, KEEP FLAMING ME!
SCOURGE (RAOUL): You can't win her ratings by making her your slave!
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): I'M HERE, I'M HERE, MONSIEUR: THE ALTER OF UBER! COME ON, COME ON, DON'T STOP, DON'T STOP!
GHOLA (CHRISTINE): Scourge!! * she grabs Scourge and pulls him off the post, they hastily exit Uber *
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): DON'T GO!! * pouts* SO BE IT! NOW LET IT BE WAR UPON YOU BOTH!
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BART (LEFEVRE): You understand your instructions?
MVA: Sir!
BART (LEFEVRE): When you see the alert on the Uberboard, take up your positions. I shall then instruct you to secure the site. It is essential that all posts are properly secured.
SHLONGY (FIRMIN): Are we doing the right thing, Caul?
CAULAINCOURT (ANDRE): Have you got a better idea, mon cherie?
BART (LEFEVRE): Monsieur Scourge, am I to give the order?
SCOURGE (RAOUL): Give the order.
SCOURGE (RAOUL): *standing next to Sacrilicious and gesturing toward the "Search" box* You in the pit - do you have a clear view of this box?
ORGASMATRON: Yes, sir...and WHAT a box it is! *gets slapped* Sorry, Lishy, baby.
SCOURGE (RAOUL): Remember, when the time comes, disable it. Only if you have to - but disable it. Permanently.
ORGASMATRON: How will I know, sir?
SCOURGE (RAOUL): You'll know.
SHLONGY (FIRMIN): Monsieur Scourge, are you confident that this will work? Will Miss "Minus Two" Daaé come through? And where can I get some pro football cheerleader ass tonight?
SCOURGE (RAOUL): Don't worry, Shlongy. You'll get your tail later. And Ghola will deliver. LaFlamme?
CAULAINCOURT (ANDRE): We're in your hands, sir. All five inches!
BART (LEFEVRE): My men are now in position, sir.
SCOURGE (RAOUL): Go ahead, then.
BART (LEFEVRE): Are the posts secure?
The MVA answering one by one: "Secure."'
ALTER'S VOICE: I'M HERE: THE ALTER OF UBER. . .I'M HERE: THE ALTER OF UBER!
SCOURGE (RAOUL): You fools, I said only when the times comes!
ORGASMATRON: But, Monsieur Scourge. . .
ALTER'S VOICE: NO "BUTS!" FOR ONCE, MONSIEUR SCOURGE IS RIGHT. SEAL MY FATE TONIGHT - I HATE TO HAVE TO CUT THE FUN SHORT BUT THE JOKE'S WEARING THIN. THE USERS STAND BY...LET MY POST BEGIN!
~~~ Emu Triumphant performance ~~~
CHORUS: Here, the rabbit may serve the man, waiting to be sucked off by a leech! Hear the sacrificial bird utter one despairing screech!
TIGERLILLY (CARLOTTA) AND CHORUS: Poor young author! For the thrill on your list of stolen tales, you will have to pay the price - fighting the ostriches and quails! Post the story and post reviews! Serve Ubersite so that, when, alters, Maltese, and n00bs get laid, Emu triumphs once again!
EMU (METHOD): Maiorano, faithful friend, once again recite the plan.
MAIORANO: Your young guest believes I'm you - I, the master, you, the man.
EMU (METHOD): When you met you wore my beak, with my feathers you hid your face.
She believes she looks me, in her master's borrowed place!
Furtively, we'll fart and queef, marking posts that should be mine.
When I take a vicious dump, you will know that it is time. . .
MAIORANO: You make a post! I use your pic - slam the front page at the height of noon!
EMU (METHOD): I shall say: "come - play with me! With what? Of course - nothing tops old poon!"
MAIORANO: Poor thing hasn't got a chance!
EMU (METHOD): Here's my beak, my teeth, and bite. Conquest is assured, if I do not forget myself and squawk...
AMINTA: ". . . no thoughts within her head, but thoughts of joy! No dreams within her heart but dreams of love!"
MAIORANO: Master?
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): MAIORANO - GO AWAY, FOR THE TRAP IS SET AND WAITS FOR ITS PREY!
~~~ Post of No Return ~~~
* ALTER appears on the post, having changed his username to disguised himself as EMU (METHOD) *
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): You have come here in pursuit of your deepest urge,
In pursuit of that tale, which till now has been silent, silent ...
I have brought you, that our styles may fuse and merge -
In your mind you've already succumbed to me,
Dropped all defenses, completely succumbed to me -
Now you are here with me: no second thoughts,
You've decided, decided ...
Load the post, just press "Return" - no backward glances:
The games we've played till now are at an end ...
Past all thought of "if" and "when" - no use resisting:
Abandon thought, and let the dream descend ...
What raging rant shall flood the page?
What rich desire of bints and whores?
What sweet construction lies before us ... ?
Load the post, just press "Return", upload the banter -
What warm, unspoken secrets will we learn?
Beyond the post of no return ...
GHOLA (CHRISTINE): You have brought me to that moment where words run dry,
to that moment where speech disappears into silence, silence ...
* Ghola suddenly realizes she is conversing with the ALTER and not MeTHod *
I have come here, hardly knowing the reason why ...
In my mind, I've already imagined our stories entwining,
Defenseless and silent - and now I am here with you:
No second thoughts, I've decided, decided ...
Load the post, just press "Return" - no going back now:
Our shitstorm finally has at last begun ...
Past all thought of right and wrong - one final question:
How long should we two wait, before we're one ... ?
When will the blood begin to race, the sleeping n00b burst into bloom?
When will the hate, at last, consume us ... ?
BOTH: Load the post, just press "Return", the final threshold -
The bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn ...
We've made the post, so press "Return"...
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): Say you'll rank me every waking moment,
Turn my head with talk of summertime ...
Say you need me with you, now and always ...
Promise me you'll always rate plus two...
Ghola, that's all I ask of...
*** As GHOLA exposes BRIAN BLESSED as REDSKIESLOOKFAKE's alter, a new post pops on the front page revealing that METHOD (PIANGI) has been Goatsed - BLESSED/REDSKIES seemingly disappears from Ubersite, taking GHOLA with him ***
TIGERLILLY (CARLOTTA): What is it? What has happened? MeTHod!
CAULAINCOURT (ANDRE): Oh, my God ... my God ...
SHLONGY (FIRMIN): We're ruined, Alain - ruined! Damn gheys!!!
SACRILICIOUS (GIRY): Monsieur Scourge! Come with me!
TIGERLILLY (CARLOTTA): Oh, my darling, my darling ... who has done this? *points to Scourge* You! Why did you let this happen?
SACRILICIOUS (GIRY): Monsieur Scourge, I know where they are.
SCOURGE (RAOUL): But can I trust you?
SACRILICIOUS (GIRY): You must. But remember: a plug at the entrance of your arse!
SCOURGE (RAOUL): But why ... ?
SACRILICIOUS (GIRY): Why? The magical asshole, Goatse, monsieur. First JGreening. Now MeTHod.
ANANSIE (MEG): Like this, monsieur. I'll come with you. Here, let me climb on top.
SACRILICIOUS (GIRY): No, Anansie! No, you stay here! Come with me, monsieur. Hurry, or we shall be too late ...
~~~ Down Once More/Track Down This Turd Burglar ~~~
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): DOWN ONCE MORE TO THE SHITPOSTS OF MY GREAT DESPAIR!
DOWN WE PLUNGE TO THE PRISON OF MY MIND!
DOWN THAT PATH INTO MADNESS DEEP AS HELL!
WHY, YOU ASK, WAS I BOUND AND CHAINED TO THIS EUROPEAN DISCOTHEQUE?
NOT FOR ANY MORTAL SIN, BUT THE WICKEDNESS OF MY ABHORRENT NECK!
MOB: Track down this turd burglar! He must be found!
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): HOUNDED OUT BY EVERYONE! MET WITH HATRED EVERYWHERE!
NO KIND WORD FROM ANYONE! NO COMPASSION ANYWHERE!
GHOLA, GHOLA ...
WHY, WHY ... ?
SACRILICIOUS (GIRY): A plug at the entrance of your arse!
SCOURGE (RAOUL): ... at the entrance of your arse...
MOB: A plug at the entrance of your arse!
Track down this turd burglar - He must be found!
Hunt out this freak giraffe, who runs abound!
Too long he's preyed on us - but now we know:
the Alter of Uber is there, deep down below ...
He's here: the Alter of Uber...
GHOLA (CHRISTINE): Have you gorged yourself at last, in your lust for rank?
Am I now to be prey to your lust for ass?
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): THAT FATE, WHICH CONDEMNS ME TO WALLOW IN SHIT
HAS ALSO DENIED ME THE JOYS OF THE FLESH ...
THIS NECK - THE INFECTION WHICH POISONS OUR LOVE ...
THIS NECK, WHICH EARNED A MOTHER'S FEAR AND LOATHING ...
AN ALTER, MY FIRST UNFEELING CHOICE OF POSING ...
PITY COMES TOO LATE -
TURN AROUND AND FACE YOUR FATE:
AN ETERNITY OF THIS BEFORE YOUR EYES!
GHOLA (CHRISTINE): This haunted body holds no horror for me now...it's in your soul that the true distortion lies ...
* SCOURGE hacks into their secret Gabbly chat room, screaming a la Captain Gheybeard *
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): WAIT! I THINK, MY DEAR, WE HAVE A GUEST! SIR, THIS IS INDEED AN UNPARALLELED DELIGHT! I HAD RATHER HOPED THAT YOU WOULD COME AND NOW MY WISH COMES TRUE - YOU HAVE TRULY MADE MY NIGHT!
SCOURGE (RAOUL): Free her! Do what you like, only free her! Have you no pity?
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): YOUR PIRATE MAKES A PASSIONATE PLEA!
GHOLA (CHRISTINE): Please, Scourge, it's useless ...
SCOURGE (RAOUL): I love her! Does that mean nothing? I love her! Show some compassion ...
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): UBERSITE SHOWED NO COMPASSION TO ME!
SCOURGE (RAOUL): Ghola ... Ghola ... Let me see her ...
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): BE MY GUEST, SIR ... MONSIEUR, I BID YOU WELCOME! DID YOU THINK THAT I WOULD HARM HER? WHY SHOULD I MAKE HER PAY FOR THE SINS WHICH ARE YOURS?
*ALTER cuts off SCOURGE's pants and prepares to Goatse him to death, but SCOURGE inserts a buttplug at the last second and clenches sphincter tightly*
ORDER UP YOUR ASS SHIT NOW!
INSERT A PLUG AT THE ENTRANCE OF YOUR ARSE!!!
NOTHING CAN SAVE YOU NOW - EXCEPT PERHAPS GHOLA ...
START A NEW LIFE WITH ME -
BUY HIS FREEDOM WITH YOUR LOVE!
REFUSE ME, AND YOU SEND YOUR LOVER TO HIS DEATH!
THIS IS THE CHOICE -
THIS IS THE POST OF NO RETURN!
GHOLA (CHRISTINE):The tears I might have shed for your dark fate grow cold, and turn to tears of hate ...
SCOURGE (RAOUL): Ghola, forgive me, please forgive me ... I did it all for you, and all for nothing ...
GHOLA (CHRISTINE): Farewell, my fallen idol and false friend ...We had such hopes, but now these hopes lie murdered
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): TOO LATE FOR TURNING BACK, TOO LATE FOR CIRCLE JERKS AND USELESS PITY ...
SCOURGE (RAOUL): Say you love him, and my life is over!
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): PAST ALL HOPE OF CRIES FOR HELP: NO POINT IN FIGHTING ...
SCOURGE (RAOUL): Either way you choose, he has to win ...
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): FOR EITHER WAY YOU CHOOSE, YOU CANNOT WIN! SO, SHALL YOU WRITE YOUR POSTS WITH ME, OR WILL YOU SEND HIS ACCOUNT TO ITS GRAVE?
SCOURGE (RAOUL): Why make her lie to you, to save me?
GHOLA (CHRISTINE): Alter of Uber...
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): PAST THE POST OF NO RETURN -
SCOURGE (RAOUL): For Bart's sake, Ghola, say no!
GHOLA (CHRISTINE): ... why this torment?
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): ... THE FINAL THRESHOLD ...
SCOURGE (RAOUL): Don't throw your account away for my sake ...
GHOLA (CHRISTINE): Why do you curse mercy?
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): HIS ACCOUNT IS NOW THE PRIZE WHICH YOU MUST EARN!
SCOURGE (RAOUL): I fought so hard to free you ...
GHOLA (CHRISTINE): Alter of Uber ...
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): YOU'VE PASSED THE POST OF NO RETURN ...
GHOLA (CHRISTINE): ... you deceived me - I gave my mind blindly ...
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): YOU TRY MY PATIENCE - MAKE YOUR CHOICE!
GHOLA (CHRISTINE): Pitiful creature of darkness ... What kind of life have you known ... ? God, give me courage to show you you are not alone ...
* GHOLA +2s the ALTER out of pity, leaving a racy comment on his post *
MOB: Track down this turd burglar - he must be found!
Hunt out this alter man, who runs to ground!
Too long he's preyed on us - but know we know:
the Alter of Uber is there, deep down below ...
Who is this monster, this crazy beast?
Revenge for MeTHod! Revenge for JGreening!
This idiot must never go free ...
* ALTER changes his mind and frees SCOURGE and GHOLA *
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): TAKE HER - FORGET ME - FORGET ALL OF THIS ...
LEAVE ME ALONE - FORGET ALL YOU'VE SEEN ...
GO NOW - DON'T LET THEM FIND YOU!
USE GABBLY'S BACK DOOR - SWEAR TO ME NEVER TO TELL
THE SECRET YOU KNOW OF THE ALTER IN HELL!
GO ... GO NOW - GO NOW AND LEAVE ME!
* SCOURGE pulls out the buttplug, then he and GHOLA leave Uber *
* ALTER turns to his music box and cues it up, making the emu figure dance *
ASS PARADE ... PAPER FACES ON PARADE ...
ASS PARADE ... HIDE YOUR FACE, SO THE WORLD WILL NEVER FIND YOU ...
GHOLA, I LOVE YOU ...
GHOLA (CHRISTINE): Say you'll share your posts with Fox and LifeTime...say the word and I will follow you...
SCOURGE (RAOUL):Share your words with me ...
GHOLA (CHRISTINE): ... each night ...
BOTH: ... each morning ...
BRIAN BLESSED/REDSKIESLOOKFAKE (ALTER): YOU ALONE CAN MAKE MY POSTS TAKE FLIGHT - IT'S OVER NOW, THE UBER OF THE NIGHT!!!!
* GHOLA runs back to Ubersite to look for the ALTER, only to discover that he has disappeared, leaving only a single post behind *
~ FIN ~
User Reviews
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-01-26 16:02:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Everything you ever wanted to know about Zebra
User id: 29369
Registered on or around: 2006-11-25 13:34:37
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 196
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:51:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
baroque
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:21:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No offense taken. I know how long (and dull) musicals can be...but it was a project started last year that was just itching to be finished.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:08:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I honestly tried, but it was incredibly boring, sorry
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-01-26 11:58:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-26 11:52:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-26 11:02:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
Most boring series on the planet. Does anyone actually sit through this bullshit and read it?
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If you had, you'd know that you were killed via GOATSE!
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A fitting end.
(Get it? I crack me up.)
((HA! Crack...goatse....get it?))
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-26 11:52:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-26 11:02:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
Most boring series on the planet. Does anyone actually sit through this bullshit and read it?
----------------------
If you had, you'd know that you were killed via GOATSE!
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-01-26 11:12:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-26 11:02:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
Most boring series on the planet. Does anyone actually sit through this bullshit and read it?
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I scanned them for my name and moved on.
This isn't my bag.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-26 11:02:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Most boring series on the planet. Does anyone actually sit through this bullshit and read it?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-01-26 10:59:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-01-26 09:57:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-26 09:56:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bravi. Bravi. Bravissimi.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-01-26 09:41:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was a really well done series here.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-01-26 09:39:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn this was good. This bit made me have a laughing fit.
*ALTER cuts off SCOURGE's pants and prepares to Goatse him to death, but SCOURGE inserts a buttplug at the last second and clenches sphincter tightly*
Ouch Goatse to death.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-26 09:29:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
THE END.
Thank the good lord.