The greatest barfight there ever was (651 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.43 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Christopher Elford (View user info) at 2007-01-26 13:47:57 EST
While I was sitting around, reading history, a thought came to me. Germany got fucked up for no fucking reason.
Think about it, in the beginning of the 20th century Germany was one of the big players in one of the biggest conflicts the world had ever seen, WWI. They lost, bad, and were forced to pay for it.
Now you are all thinking "Haggard you fuck head! It was there fault!" But you are wrong, I kick ass and I am not wrong.
Imagine that Europe is a big bar. You are sitting around, minding your own business when your buddy Austria Hungry gets shot by some ass hole named Bolshevik. Now since AH is your friend you decide to help him out.
You are about to kick the ever loving shit out of that damn Bolshevik when a skinny fuck smoking a cigarette and wearing a beret and calling himself France tells you to stop.
You promptly start to kick his ass, when his chubby tea drinking friend tells you to "Cease and desist immediately, you rage." Now you are fighting both of these fuckers when a huge burly guy comes up and punches you in the nose. His name is Russia. \
Now you are fighting three guys and kicking all of there asses, when some fucker that you have never seen before comes in. He calls himself America and He and all the other bustards fuck you up.
You wake up and the bar is a mess. Not only that but it seems that the mother fuckers stole your wallet. It is then that the guy who owns the bar hands you the bill for damages done to the bar. It seems they left you the bill.
Now, dose that seem right to you?
User Reviews
Submitted by jayjonze (user info) at 2008-08-12 17:49:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2007-04-18 19:13:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmmmmmmm....
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2007-01-27 13:43:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice idea but needed that little something
Submitted by Hagard (user info) at 2007-01-27 13:29:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Phalic, I said the Bolshavics attacked Autria Hungry. Francis Ferdinand was shot and the rest of Europe did not give a shit untill they all realised that they had shit treatys that said that if one country went to war the next one had to
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-01-27 11:01:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This was terrible
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-01-27 10:30:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
dammit I miss read, I thought you were talking about WW2, nvm.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-01-27 10:27:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
If we are going to use the barfight analogy, think of it like German walks into a bar that's, say, 3/4's full. Well, he comes in, sits down at a booth, except the booth isn't big enough for him. So he leans over and whispers to the family behind him, "Hey, remember that horrible bar fight that happened, like, 20yrs ago, that you are still recovering from? If you don't move and let me sit there, or I'm gonna start it up again." So they move, but this still isn't good enough for German. He whispers the same thing to the other family sitting at the booth beside him and they move. He keeps doing this until Heinze has half the bar to himself. Still not good enough for him, the damn French, Russians, and British won't move! And so on and so forth...
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-01-27 06:18:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-01-27 05:50:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If you think WWI was caused by the bolsheviks attacking Germany i am very fucking scared of whichever educational system you belong to.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-01-27 01:55:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i kinda liked this
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-01-27 01:35:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
hhhmmm
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-01-27 00:29:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Terrible.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-27 00:27:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This was good - edit more.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-27 00:26:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-01-26 14:17:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
I know it's been said, and I considered moving on without belabouring the point, but fuck it: "their"!
And yes, it is important.
---
I am totally starting a Fey fan club.
(...AND I now suspect you are either British or Canadian - and likely a chick.)
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2007-01-26 19:22:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-01-26 14:27:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
HaHaHaHaHa! This wasn't very good at all!!
I am a bit torn though. I mean, this oversimplification of WWI borders on criminal, but you did admit that you're still in high school, so you can't be held too accountable for your staggering ignorance.
So, -1. Why don't you stick to posting stuff like this on your myspace blog. I'm sure all your little high school friends probably think you're brilliant. When you've grown up a bit, you can always remove your myspace page and erase the evidence of your ignorant past. Things you post here, however, will always remain as a testament to just how ignorant your youth was.
Well, I take that back, you actually can remove uber-postings and salvage your rating. Because I'm feeling generous, I'll help you out. If you want to get rid of a bad post, all you have to do is click RSS at the bottom of your "My Uber" page, copy paste the text into a submit box, delete the post you want, title the post "History Change for User #28370" or whatever your user number is, and submit it. This updates your history and will remove this post from your profile.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-01-26 14:20:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This rocks!
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-01-26 14:17:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I know it's been said, and I considered moving on without belabouring the point, but fuck it: "their"!
And yes, it is important.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-01-26 14:10:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
well shit...
apparently i don't.
fuck...
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-01-26 14:09:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO READ????
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-01-26 14:01:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's a thought: Perhaps if you wrote coherently enough to ask an intelligible question, you might get an answer.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:57:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Face down in the gutter won't admit defeat
though his clothes are soiled and black,
he's a big strong man with a child's mind,
Don't you take his booze away! (hey!)
He's been at it for years drinking balls and beers
hes a hero to most he meets
but inside he cries black swollen eyes this man he sheds no tears
Now his wife & kids sing a different tune
as they worry about their daddy dying
but this arrogant fool breaks every rule
it'll be nothing but pride that kills him
Could he listen no he won't
that's all she wrote
he'll be dead before the daylight shines
cause the thoughts and prayers of a million strong
might keep this fool from dying
He's a legend in the bar with every scar
fights a thousand bigger men,
now he fights and looses got all the bruises
will someone please step in?
This Irish fools got a great big heart
he keeps climbing back into the ring
In the low down circles where he holds his court
this man he once was king
this one goes out to the Boston punks and skins...
This one goes out to everyone at six fifty six Adams street...how you doing? fellas
--"Barroom Heroes" Dropkick Murphys
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:56:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
the greatest bar fight of all time was when scruggs lost and was forced to wear a dress and eat horse shit.
Submitted by Hagard (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:56:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
no
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:55:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
shut the fuck up
Submitted by Hagard (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:55:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
nope, just in high school.
I thought of the joke a few years ago.
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:54:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're a history major, right?
Submitted by Hagard (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:53:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
spelin iss ovr ratd
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:52:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Learn how to spell, retard.
I swear, people learn this shit in 2nd grade.
There, Their & They're. ... learn them, love them, use them fucking correctly.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:52:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Stay in school.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:50:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
but thats only because i've been holding it for 5 days.
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:50:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
"Now, dose that seem right to you?"
Not really but all of this incoherent rambling was really disapointing when you take the title into account.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:50:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
just kidding, i peed a little
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:49:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
yes