The Enforcer (Warning - Hockey Content) (1099 hits)
Category: SportsRating: 2 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DonovanMD (View user info) at 2007-01-27 04:28:45 EST
The Enforcer
It's the dream of every kid playing shinny in his backyard rink or ball hockey with the neighborhood kids. The dream of every kid who's ever picked up a hockey stick and thought it was more than just a piece of wood with Easton down the side and tape on the end. Hell it was the dream of every middle aged fat guy drinking beer and watching the game with his buddies on Saturday night. And I'm living it. I play in the NHL and thank God for the opportunity.
But I don't draw into the lineup for my prowess with the puck or ability to make the clutch save late in the third. No, I draw a semi-regular shift because of my physical attributes. I'm there to protect my team mates when needed, whether it's with my fists or simply by a well timed glare at the opposing bench after throwing a bone crunching check; this game is all about intimidation.
The whistle blows to signal an offside and the lines change, team mates jumping over the boards to line up for the face off. I'm sitting in my normal seat at the end of the bench, next to the back up goalie. It's the middle of the second period and I haven't played a minute since the end of the first. It's been a special team's game so far and I don't kill penalties or play the powerplay, so I've sat by waiting for a chance to get on the ice and try to get something going.
I'm on the fourth line of course, but these days they usually call it the "energy line". That's the nice way of saying my line mates and I are a bunch of plugs and journeymen, there to fill in the few shifts when the top three lines need a breather or as a change of pace. The coach often shortens the bench in close games resulting in even less ice time for me, and right now it's a 2-1 game for them.
We're being hemmed deep in our own end, the Bruins pressuring us the last few minutes and getting a few good chances to tie it up. The pucks shot off the boards and into the Bruins, no icing, and our second line exhaustedly skates over for a change as our top scoring line hits the ice. The Bruins carry the play back into our zone and the defenceman gets off a weak point shot, it's blocked, and our speedy winger Sanderson takes off after the puck. He's one on one with the defenceman breaking into the Bruins zone, he works the puck masterfully, deking and planning his move at top speed. Finally he decides and tries to play the puck through the defenders feet and skate around him. The big defenceman is caught flat footed and backwards, and Sanderson at full speed is breaking past him, all he can do is obstruct our speedy winger or he's in alone. But he doesn't just hook him, he leans over and tries to play the body, his elbow gets up and catches Sanderson in the side of the head, who skating at full speed loses his footing and crashes to the ice.
He's down, and hurt.
Our guys on the ice charge the big defenceman and a melee breaks out, everyone finds a dance partner and a few minor scraps break out. But none of our players on the ice are big guys capable of going with the big defenceman, a skill player jumping in against him would be suicide. They push and shove trying to defend our team mate, but nothing really comes of it. Sanderson is still down though; our trainer is over the boards and attending to him, eventually helping him back to the bench and down the hall to the dressing room. Our best player is out of the game on a cheap shot and to top it off no penalty on the play.
Boo's rain down from the home town crowd and coach is up on the bench screaming for someone to get their fucking eyes checked. The game continues the intensity and physical play picking up on both sides.
Finally I get a shift. I know its coming when I see the big defenceman jump back onto the ice for his first shift since the hit. I look up and the coach just nods. He doesn't have to say anything; I know what's expected of me.
"Change, change! Alright get out there!"
I'm over the boards, the puck is dumped in and I'm on the forecheck. The big defenceman skates behind his net to pick up the puck and I line him up, crushing him just as he dishes the puck off.
"Let's go," I say to him, "Come on you big fuck, don't they fight in Russia? You hit our guys I hit you."
Petrov, or Ivanov, or Mikhailov, or whatever the fuck this rookies name is plays the European card and just skates back into the play. I shadow him and toss in a few more well timed comments and lay another hit into him as he plays the puck. Finally he turns to me and see's he has no other choice really, whether he fights voluntarily or I take the instigator penalty and grab him by the collar, we're dancing. I give him credit for that at least, he follows the code, a cheap shot on a star player requires retribution, it keeps guys honest. The unwritten rules of hockey are known by all, and followed by most.
My gloves come off and we go at each other, grappling and losing the helmets. I get off a right, another right and he ties me up by getting a handful of jersey.
He's a southpaw and hard to handle, a big boy. I try to get off another one and he catches me in the jaw. I nearly slip backwards but regain my footing and try to get my right free. He's doing a good job of wrapping me up, so I switch to the left and get in a few before finally catching him under the chin with another hard right. He buckles and I fall on top of him, but ease up as the linesmen step in.
A fighter never takes that extra shot as a guy does down, or pushes his head into the ice, that's in the code too, nobody likes the asshole and it's all about respect on the ice, even for the guy you just fought.
The refs send us off to our respective penalty boxes to serve our five minutes each. I take my other usual seat and watch the game continue, things taken care of. Sanderson is back on the bench a few minutes later and all is forgotten.
There's a lot more to the build up of a fight than people think. Its not a side show, it has its place in the game. An eye for an eye is a closely followed ideal in hockey. If it weren't for the threat of getting your face mashed some opposing players might feel they can take liberties with our players more often. When I'm in the line up, whether I'm on the ice or the bench, I'm the sheriff in town. I'm the guy people have to answer too.
Fighting's a dying art in the NHL, the new rules seem to be forcing it out of the game, or at least not promoting it the way they used too. Refs don't look the other way when you grab a guy and pummel him anymore, even if he's got it coming; you're gone for the game with misconduct. But the message is still sent: don't break the code, respect the game and your opponents.
Its not easy being a tough guy, a goon, the team muscle. Every fighter will tell you they wish they could be the go to guy, scoring the big goals and being called upon in the clutch situations. But we aren't the speedy, flashy scorer, the role we fill we do so because we still want to play in the big leagues. We goons want to make the big league dollars and get the big league notoriety as well, like anyone. Maybe make it onto sports center from time to time.
No, it's not easy being a tough guy. It's like its 3 pm every day and any minute now I'll have to fight the biggest, baddest, toughest guy in front of the whole school, and I HAVE to show up. It's my job.
But I'm a nice guy, really I am. At the end of the day I go home to my family and read to my kids and kiss my wife good night like any normal guy. But on the ice, I know my role. I'm the tough guy, and I look after my team mates.
User Reviews
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-04-08 14:44:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WEEEEELL... the good ole hockey game...
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-04-08 13:02:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I remember when oliwa was in calgary for the last cup run. That guy has really soft hands for a tough guy, the two goals he got in the playoffs were fucking sexy.
I was watching him in a warmup and he was flicking pucks into a bucket 15 ft away, tough guys rule.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-04-08 13:01:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Guess i should have taken this bet...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92221#2116035
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2007-01-30 02:21:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.dumpalink.com/videos/Hockey_fights__kos-0dcd.html
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2007-01-28 13:32:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not much of a hockey person but I liked this post a lot.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-28 09:27:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't know there was a "quiz" here or I would have ended "the suspence" on my first review.
Shlongy knows pretty much everything, but I thought everyone knew that already.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-27 21:06:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oliwa , you idiots.
Submitted by Bundaberg (user info) at 2007-01-27 17:03:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Um...Dave Schultz?
I have no idea. I dont know Devils history very well.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-01-27 16:23:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Meh, it was a guess. They don't issue near as many diving calls as they should.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2007-01-27 16:21:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
They issue divings and hookings just to cover their asses and to appease both sides. Its BS I agree.
And no, its not Travis Zajac. The only hint I'll give is that he's a tough guy who hasnt played since before the lockout. I dont know if he's retired or more likely just toiling in the minors.
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2007-01-27 15:22:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My main issue is how you can issue a diving AND a hooking penalty on the same fucking play....
It's one or the other.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-01-27 14:53:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Travis Zajac? Fighting is a dying art, you are correct. The new NHL is getting tiresome. Players spend more time in the penalty box for tapping someone's ankles with their stick (resulting in a hugely over-acted dive) rather than on the ice playing.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2007-01-27 13:53:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Five +2s to whoever can name that tough guy first.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-01-27 12:11:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
good post by the way
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-01-27 12:11:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 all your hockey posts, right?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-01-27 11:19:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-01-27 05:20:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
This was fucking cool. I used to hate ice-hockey, especially when I was playing field, but then I found out about the whole fighting thing and it just became a whole lot cooler.
The sport should be heavily promoted in Scotland, we have ice and angry men.
---
Plus you're American so it's like one of your national sports eh Hurty?
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2007-01-27 11:09:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was well written and truthful.
I'm tired of watching potential league superstars get fucking blindsided and injured by fucking 3 minute a game players.
Mostly, I want Laraque back to protect Hemsky..... Except when he bobbles the puck on some dumb European dippsy-doodle.... Then hit him.
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-01-27 10:58:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know shit about hockey
+2 for ass-kickery
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-27 08:56:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
In case you dumbfucks don't know what he's talking about, you can have a quick, free video lesson...on Shlongy.
http://www.hockeyfights.com/videos/
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-01-27 05:20:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was fucking cool. I used to hate ice-hockey, especially when I was playing field, but then I found out about the whole fighting thing and it just became a whole lot cooler.
The sport should be heavily promoted in Scotland, we have ice and angry men.
Submitted by Snare (user info) at 2007-01-27 05:14:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
D.MD?
I thought you'd up an died.
Did you get to the film fest last year?
Without a word of a lie, your festival pick lists STILL inform my idle Saturday night viewing. Every. Damned. Week.