Ubertines '07 : Forever, My Love (537 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.55 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SweetCheebs (View user info) at 2007-01-28 15:17:49 EST
I spent too much time writing this garbage, and it seems painfully amateur to me now. Oh well, enjoy, or not.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Valentines day has always been hell for me. I've been in my share of relationships, but when 2/14 hits, without fail, I'm alone and dieing on the inside.
At least this year I wasn't alone.
I glanced around the courtroom, observing the sobbing relatives and stern looking judiciary officials. Despite the heavy mood, her father wasn't crying. He looked me right in the eye with an expression that had become quite familiar to me. It was a look of emptiness, desperation, and rage. I had seen it in the mirror so many times. Eventually my eyes were once again fixed on the large framed photo of Malorie. She looked so perfect and full of life. If I had to surmise the exact opposite of how she looked when I was through with her, that picture would have represented my thoughts perfectly.
I met Malorie at a bonfire in the woods. Young locals would gather there to indulge in the pleasures their parents wouldn't allow. From the moment I saw her shadowy green eyes in the dancing light of flames by the bonfire, I knew we would be together forever. Our love would be more than physical. Our love would be a silent song forever sung. A song for the ages, it would teach others how love was meant to be. This bond couldn't even be broken by death. As I would come to find out, death was in fact the only thing that could keep this bond together.
Ryan was flamboyantly gay, and I didn't mind. In fact I relished the fact that the only other male friend Mal had was a complete flamethrower. I didn't get much sleep the first time she didn't make the usual call to wish me sweet dreams. When I spoke to her the next morning she apologized and said she was really tired from a tough day at work. No big deal, or so I thought.
The following week I began staking out her house every night she didn't call me. There was an obvious pattern here; Ryan was there every night. That sneaky queer bastard was moving in on my woman. On the 6th night she neglected to call me, I decided to investigate further. I began climbing the apple tree across from her house. I could get a good view of her room from there.
Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw and the change that would come over me that night. I almost fell out of the tree when I saw him kiss her soft lips. My vision blurred and my mind raced like frightened prey running from an inescapable beast. As I hugged the tree branch in the cold November air, I imagined for a moment that I was holding her in my arms with the warmth of her torso pressed against mine. The moment was fleeting.
I awoke the next morning covered in sweat, a fitting start to the day considering the depraved thoughts filling my mind. If there was a Hell, Malorie was to go there. What other suitable punishment was there for the torment she had put me through? There was only one solution. I would go with her. If everything I had read was true, it would have to be done delicately. I couldn't simply kill myself. Apparently there's a section of hell made especially for those that commit suicide. How would I find her from there?
That evening, I loaded my tools into the car and started the short drive to Mal's neighborhood. I flipped on the radio in a feeble attempt to block out the voices in my head. Sympathy for the Devil was playing. At first I thought it ironic. It seemed the longer I listened the more I was prepared to meet him. I wondered what he would be like, and what Hell was like. It didn't really matter though; I was only going there for one reason.
As I knelt in the woods waiting for Ryan to arrive, I reflected on the last time I had spoken with him. I had asked he and Malorie to be careful as they were leaving.
"Don't worry, I'll take good care of her."
His response echoed in my brain. He must have taken care of her in some way that I could not. I couldn't help but think of the irony in his final words to me. You could say I was about to take care of Ryan. My ears perked up as I heard the faint sound of bass signaling his arrival to the neighborhood. I reached into my bag of tools and withdrew a pair of leather gloves, a length of razor wire, and a large hammer. At least there would be some pleasure in this pain filled evening.
This was easily the highlight of my week. I stealthily approached Ryan from behind as he stepped out of his car and struck him once in the back of the head. The hammer left a gaping maw the size of a silver dollar where his spiked black hair once stood. As I dragged his unconscious body into the woods, he began to convulse in a most peculiar manner. It recalled memories of the seizures my dog used to have when I was a kid. When he finally awoke to find me standing over him, the expression on his face was priceless.
This was my first glimpse of true terror. I imagined he must have felt a brief moment of peace when the realization that he was about to die came upon him. He would no longer have to contend with the horrors of reality. When I finished sawing off his head, there was a look of innocence imprinted on his face. It reminded me of a newborn child, opening their eyes to the world for the first time. I left his lifeless corpse in the neighbors garden, and pondered if he would make a good fertilizer.
Malorie stepped through the front door as I approached. By the time she noticed the blood on my shirt, I had already drawn the .38 from my back pocket. Her mesmerizing eyes widened as I aimed and she reached out to me as I pulled the trigger. I caught her body in my arms as she slumped to the ground and cradled her head in my arms. Blood gushed from her wound and rolled down the crease of my arm, soothing my crippled soul. The warmth was fading from her body as the police arrived on the scene, and my rattled brain had little time to react. The first part of my plan was complete and now I had only fate to rely on.
A tear rolled down my cheek as the judge read the sentence of life in prison. I had destroyed all that I cared about in the world and now I would be left in this mortal coil to rot. Her mother's deafening cries rang in my ears. Her father stood as the bailiff led me towards the rear doors and a smile crept onto my face when I saw him reach under the table where he sat. Chaos erupted in the room when the gun went off, but I was oblivious to it. I managed to say thank you as my life slowly faded, a statement I suspect must have pissed the old man off to no end. Then everything went black.
Fate can be a cruel mistress. When I opened my eyes to find myself at the very bonfire where we had first met, I was somewhat perplexed. As I approached the flames, I was greeted by Malorie's beautiful naked form. I yearned to hold her in my arms but an invisible force held me where I stood. Ryan emerged from the flames behind her and took her in his arms. I gasped for air as the billowing smoke filled my lungs, but I was unable to move. There I stood, helplessly watching as they made love in front of me for what seemed like days. How long could this torment last? I didn't have to ask.
Malorie looked at me with the eyes I could never forget.
"Forever, my love"
User Reviews
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-29 16:21:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I think much more could have been done with this. The resolution came about too quickly, and it was strange to see it run from murder to prison to finale without any real break between them.
This has nothing to do with my rating, but I'll mention it because I'm odd and let things like this bug me:
die
plural dies for 1, 2, 4, dice for 3; verb, died, DIEING.
-noun 1. Machinery. a. any of various devices for cutting or forming material in a press or a stamping or forging machine.
b. a hollow device of steel, often composed of several pieces to be fitted into a stock, for cutting the threads of bolts or the like.
c. one of the separate pieces of such a device.
d. a steel block or plate with small conical holes through which wire, plastic rods, etc., are drawn.
2. an engraved stamp for impressing a design upon some softer material, as in coining money.
die
-verb (used without object), died, DYING.
1. to cease to live; undergo the complete and permanent cessation of all vital functions; become dead.
2. (of something inanimate) to cease to exist: The laughter died on his lips.
3. to lose force, strength, or active qualities: Superstitions die slowly.
4. to cease to function; stop: The motor died.
5. to be no longer subject; become indifferent: to die to worldly matters.
6. to pass gradually; fade or subside gradually (usually fol. by away, out, or down): The storm slowly died down.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-01-29 10:19:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oooh, I likes it. heh, "flamethrower"
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-29 10:09:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent entries all around this year...this one included. Nice job.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-01-29 02:14:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-29 00:15:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know what you're talking about. it's pretty damn good.
" spent too much time writing this garbage"
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2007-01-28 22:41:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Never apologize for what you put out there... a post on Uber, a painting, a song, whatever.
I agree, it was a little forced but I think you were on to something here.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-28 16:31:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-01-28 15:25:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm giving it a 1.5
===
I agree. I liked some of your language, and I think it was a really good effort.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-28 16:30:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-01-28 15:25:06 (#)
Ranking: 1
because I liked it, but it seemed very forced and a little... underdone.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-01-28 15:42:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
pretty good story
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-01-28 15:25:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm giving it a 1.5
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-01-28 15:25:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
because I liked it, but it seemed very forced and a little... underdone.