Ubertines 07: Suddenly (Repost with better formatting) (324 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.87 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MyTeeOne <My_Tee_One.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2007-01-28 22:29:06 EST
It was almost like I watched the whole thing from outside of myself, like a dream I was awake for or a vision I didn't believe. The beat of the music led her more than I did as she twirled around the dance floor with a grace normally reserved for places more eloquent than this. I pulled at her tiny hand and she came in so close I could smell her perfume penetrate through the stench of smoke and scent of stale booze that filled the place. Her fragrance intoxicated me with ease, partly because of her movement but mostly because I wanted it too. Her thin frame pressed tight against me and I could feel her tiny round breasts against my chest. Suddenly I was aware of how beautiful my friend was.
Friend. What a tragic word "friend" was, I realized, when she was standing close enough for me to feel her heart pounding rhythmically against my chest. It's amazing how easily boundaries are crossed though, how thin the line is between right and wrong, good and bad, black and white. The line may be thin, but somehow the space between manages to be vast in grayness and crossing can be perilous. Fear and wonder lay in that gray area somewhere between love and lust, suddenly insane and simply insecure.
I wanted to cross that line, I wanted to cross the first time I met her, but I still didn't see it coming until it was almost upon me. Her head tilted up and we made eye contact. All of a sudden the eyes I had looked into countless times before had behind them an expression of vulnerability and curiosity. Her mouth, small and warm, moved towards mine and before I knew what was happening, her soft lips gently touched mine. She held hers there long enough for me to realize she meant it and then slowly pulled away, taking my breath with her. The corners of her sweet red lips slowly raised into something between a knowing smirk and satisfied grin.
"We should go out sometime," she whispered in a confident but quite voice which filled me with excitement and terror. I found myself suddenly lost and stunned, somewhere in that gray area that separates friends from lovers. Panic and joy washed over me as my mind tried to adjust to my new location somewhere over the line.
Comprehension dawned and the mist of gray started to slowly clear. I no longer held my friend close to me. Now the tiny body I held was a woman, a woman with curves the begged to be explored by my patient hands; a woman whose soft porcelain skin teased me with its silky smoothness.
"Yeah," I said with all the calm I could muster. "I'd like that," I finished with what I hoped was an air of coolness. I became suddenly aware of everything about her; the way her short brown hair framed her little face, the way I could feel her chest moving up and down in long controlled breathes so different from my own, the way her rich green eyes locked with mine into a deep gaze I could have been lost in for hours. The music played on in the background but I no longer heard it. The people around us still moved around the floor, swaying to the soundless music, but they existed in another time, another place.
I stood there with her petite little body sharing my personal space, held in a moment and in that moment time simply stood still. It didn't stop everywhere and it didn't stop for everyone, but for that one brief glitch time stood still for us, to allow us to enjoy the moment we shared, realize it, and revel in it.
She smiled again. I stood in awe of how such a simple gesture could do something as momentous as melt me and start time again all at once. I felt time trickle forward, just like one may feel a cool breeze kiss their face after the air had been stagnant for so long. I felt time start to lurch forward and gain momentum, going from frozen into a slow acceleration towards normality. I knew in a few more seconds we would join those outside of our temporary little shell that only we had access to, that small space of safety that was all our own. The moment was slipping away, moving forward again, but I still had a few more seconds.
She intimidated me and I think she knew it. I think a small part of her was flattered by it. I finally smiled back, a dorky awkward smile like that of a teenager who just got asked out for the first time. We put our foreheads together. Maybe it was just to feel closeness, but I would like to think it was because we were trying to extend our moment and not let it slip away. More than likely it was somewhere in between.
I pulled my head back and caught her gaze once more. I tried my best to wipe that silly smile off my face but my mouth wouldn't let it go. I leaned in towards her, slowly, and I felt my hands, which rested in the small of her back, start to shake slightly with anticipation. Her arms remained locked around my neck, holding me in a soft prison I would have gladly wasted away in. Her right hand moved to the back of my head and applied gentle pressure to urge my lips toward hers again. I felt her warm breathe on my mouth and I tasted her lips, quickly, lightly. We pulled back once more and rested our foreheads together. We let out a little laugh of relief and smiled at each other for confirmation and reassurance.
Suddenly I heard the music, no longer distant, and became aware of the people, the very ones whom did not exist in our when and where only seconds ago. The moment had passed and I felt a pang in my heart that it was gone so soon. I pushed her body away and led her into a turn. We finished the dance and she moved and twirled around the dance floor with a grace not meant for so common a place.
The dance was different now. No longer were we two friends dancing for the pleasure of each others company and the fun of the movement. Now... now it was more. Now the connection between us was new and exciting again, like when we first met and I wanted to cross the line. Now there was chemistry we both felt and finally surrendered too. Things changed when we crossed that invisible line from friends to.... to what? It didn't matter right now. What did matter was in that moment, that moment the existed between us and for us, everything shifted and evolved into something more.
User Reviews
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-02-01 22:21:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
retal -2ing is gay D-Fresh
haha
sorry, i got carried away. i know you don't really care or i wouldn't have done it
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-02-01 18:35:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2DIE
you know why
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-30 11:22:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd like to -3 this piece of poop, but don't want to appear "bitter".
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-30 11:09:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, when I rated this the first time, I didn't dock you on formatting, these thing can happen- so I didn't expect to change my rating on the reformat. But it turns out I sincerely do like it better this time.
"Fear and wonder lay in that gray area somewhere between love and lust, suddenly insane and simply insecure."
Yes, yes, yes.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-29 16:15:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It is rather remarkable when moments like this happen, however. Good idea for this round.
I'm glad you got a chance to repost this. You know how people here are formatting Nazis.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-29 16:15:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Strangely I found that all the lines spent describing the sensation of having time stand still brought the story to a bit of a halt. I think there's a way to go about doing what I think you're looking to do, but I can't say I know just how to put it so I'll simply leave it at that.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-01-29 10:32:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i give you the same rating as before
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-29 10:17:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The rating stays.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2007-01-29 09:51:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank homer. Generally speaking, I don't care about Uber because...well, it's just Uber. But I started wasting time on here to improve my writing, so it's nice to have some solid feedback (even if it comes with a negative rating).
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-01-29 06:05:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-01-29 01:50:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
geez people
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-01-29 01:48:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-29 00:07:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good writing but doesn't really feel like a complete story. I don't know what this asshole below is talking about, you're clearly a good writer. Maybe 0 but not -2.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2007-01-28 23:39:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
Not special
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2007-01-28 23:39:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Not special
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2007-01-28 23:06:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-05-23 13:25:51 (#)
Ranking: -2
Tell the truth.
You really got fisted by a big nigger named Jerome, Didn't you?
Does that count?
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2007-01-28 22:30:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/97970