Old Lies (765 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.83 on 57 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (View user info) at 2007-01-29 11:24:20 EST
When I was fourteen years old, my first girlfriend dumped me.
I realize that you probably couldn't give a damn about some dumbass teenager's relationship woes, but trust me, this is going somewhere. I wouldn't drag you along if I didn't think my little tale here had some kind of moral.
So as I was saying, I was fourteen when the ex and I moved to Splitsville, population 2. It was a friendly sort of thing, no harsh words between us, no whispered scorns as we watched the other go by in the halls.
We had a good run, for what it was worth. I realize that.
If you can land a gal for any amount of time at that age, what with you being a perved-out little moron and all...well, you just count your blessings that your Friday night date isn't a double with that other famous couple, Johnson & Johnson.
That was a jerk-off joke, if you didn't catch my drift.
Anywho.
I'm not sure exactly why the girl and me went our separate ways, probably the usual "it's not you, it's me" garbage. Looking back, she seemed like the type of girl who'd be ingenuine enough to try and pull that.
Of course, I didn't realize that then, didn't even consider it. I was just ecstatic to have someone to call my very own, to know that a girl actually considered me special.
That's the thing about being a teenager though, you never really know what you want, whether or not your favorite's still going to be there tomorrow.
I guess after a while she just got bored. In a small town like the one I grew up in, there's only so much you can do on a Friday night, so my options for keeping her entertained were limited.
She was a complex girl, in a simple sort of way. Or maybe the other way around. I don't know if that makes sense, but she was the kind of girl who fell into an exact stereotype, the rebel without a cause. That was the simple part.
The complex part was determining what exactly a stereotype like that wants.
Since I couldn't figure it out, she made our relationship her next rebellion, and left me standing there high and dry.
But I kept moving, kept plodding through the daily routine like nothing was wrong. I even faked a tight-lipped smile when I saw her walking on the way to class. I was too proud to let anyone know I was beaten.
Though, beneath that smile I was dying, dying of the plague. It was eating me from the guts out, making me numb as something inside slowly tore itself away. But it never stopped hurting, even when I faded so much I couldn't taste Mom's mashed potatoes, and that's saying something.
I just couldn't stop thinking about her, wondering if she was hurting just as much as I was, or if I had been forgotten, tossed aside like the Barbies gathering dust at the bottom of her toy chest.
It wasn't just wanting her back that hurt. I had all these memories in my head I just couldn't get out.
There was all the normal teenage stuff, sure...first kiss, coppin' my first feel in the back row of the movies, the kinda things your friends hound you about the next day, before the first bell rings.
But there was other stuff, too. Pebbles against windows, sneaking out after midnight to hold hands in the park, sharing milkshakes...all that.
You might call it corny, but damn, I'm glad I got to have it. I'm the type of guy who knows when he's lucky, so I'm sure all those guys who didn't get the chance when they were kids, well, they're not exactly praising my name.
But that's what made it so hard to move on. I had lived the movie romance, been lanky Jimmy Stewart, and still gotten the girl. Only difference was, I didn't have closing credits to keep me from losing her again.
I know what you're thinking, I was still young, the world's big, life wasn't gonna end. All the motivational baloney people say when they can't actually do anything to fix it.
So yeah, you try telling that to a kid with a broken heart. I was so bad, you couldn't get through to me with a hooker and a briefcase fulla cash.
///////
It's a terrible thing coming face-to-face with the Devil when you're just starting to get hair on your chest.
Naw, not Lucifer, I'm not talking 'bout death or anything here. I'm talking 'bout Mr. Beam, known as Jim to his friends.
You may not have guessed it, but I grew up in the South, where folks aren't too concerned with keeping the liquor cabinet locked. It was easy pickings getting into Dad's stash in the pantry behind the kitchen, or to head over to Ray's house to snake a fifth to split in our old treehouse.
At that point, it didn't really matter how, just as long as it got her out of my head for a while. Alcohol worked just fine for my purposes.
I know, I know, this all seems kinda quick. Losing your first love sucks, yeah, but turning to booze? Comes off a bit much, I hear you. But fact is, drinking's not really such a big deal down South, so just chalk it up to me being a bad storyteller, I guess.
Fact is, this little phase of mine only went on for about three weeks, until my Dad caught me sneaking a sip and tanned my hide for it.
After that, the booze stopped flowing, and I had to find something else to take my mind off her.
////////
It was a couple weeks after, that I found a different sort of legend. Except this guy's name was probably in the phone book at one point.
I was in the local record shop, more window shopping than anything else, maybe looking to find something to drown out the wailing in my head. And as any build-up such as this would dictate, there was one that caught my eye.
It was buried back in the discount section, its paper cover a dirty sort of white, like something that's been out in the sun for weeks at a time. There was no artwork, no words, no fancy embossing or any of that crap... just a sleeve, the paper-bag cover Mom puts on your textbooks to keep 'em safe.
Well lemme tell you, as I pulled that 45 from its cover, I coulda sworn that sucker was glowing, a downright gift from above. I didn't even know who recorded it yet, but I knew I wouldn't be leaving that store without it.
Forty cents later, I was out that door, staring at my prize as the ridges gleamed in the afternoon sun. In the center, just above the hole:
"Jack Sanders"
///////
There were only two tracks on that record, one for each side of the disc.
Side A wasn't so great, a little ditty by the name of "Wagon Wheel." It was Side B that got my toes tapping, got me feeling like I did back before She came along.
I tell ya, that Sanders fella must have sold his soul right to the Devil, cause that song had some kinda unearthly fix on me. I must have listened to it over a dozen times that day, just bumping that needle back, back, back, 'til those words were in my head tighter than the Pledge.
"Oh baby, I see you, you're winkin' at me
But darlin', I know you, you're more than I see.
You're callin', my number, I'm countin' the rings
You're after, my money, and all of my things.
The first time, I saw you, I fell for your charm
The way that, you teased me, took hold of my arm.
You led me, to your place, and showed me a time
You used me, and took me, for ev'ry last dime.
I won't be fooled, not ever again
You're a cold thief, disguised as a friend.
Bein' my gal, my heart's not the prize
Not gonna fall for all your old lies."
There's more after that, but I think you get the idea. I'm also gonna take a wild stab and assume you've figured out the name of that song by now.
So as I was saying, that song took a hold over me, something mighty fierce. I couldn't tell exactly what it was, the twang and buzz of his weathered old six-string, or maybe just the hearty rasp of his voice as he punched the lyrics out. Fact is, it was pretty much the best song I'd ever heard.
I just couldn't get it out of my head. It was in there firmer than a pickle lid on a cold winter day, and by the time I'd owned that record a week, I had completely forgotten the old ex, just cause I couldn't think of anything else but that song.
And I stayed that way for quite the long time. Even when the song started losing its magic, it was like nothing bad had ever happened at all. It had healed me, brought me back from the darkness and all that.
I guess everybody's got something like that, a favorite book, or food, that just makes all the hurting go away. Mine just happened to be an old B-side by a backwoods guitar player who managed to scrape together $10 for a session.
At the same time, I understood that every time I gave it a spin, it lost a little bit of what made it so special to me. Songs are fickle things, being able to pull at your heartstrings one day, and then downright annoying the next.
So I figured that I'd only break it out for the really bad stuff, for the times where there just wasn't any other way to feel good again.
///////
And then I started seeing Lucy. That day, I almost went right down to the dumpster and pitched that vinyl sucker, cause I knew I'd never feel blue again, not with her in my life.
Life was good, and Sanders' song didn't have a thing to do with it. Lucy was just the finest girl I'd ever laid my eyes on, the kinda girl that knocks your grades at school down, cause you just can't stop thinking 'bout her.
And all of a sudden, those moments I never thought I'd get to have again, well, they came rushing back faster than a dog with a stick in its mouth. The pebbles, the midnight visits, the milkshakes, all of it...it was like I'd never lost it at all.
Except with her, it was like it meant something bigger, like I wasn't just living the storybook anymore. It was like I was writing the dang thing, making every day another page.
She was the first girl I was ever with, if you catch my meaning. But I don't want you thinking it was just a thing, something to brag about with the gang the next day. Nah, as cheeseball as it sounds, we waited until it actually meant something before we did the deed.
I coulda sworn she was the one, I really could. I didn't have to write her poems, or get her presents, or anything like that to show her how much I loved her. She just knew, and I think that made all the difference, take that as you will.
We were gonna get married someday, and you were a darn fool if you couldn't see it. Even our parents seemed to know, cause they had that glint in their eyes, that sort of knowing gaze old folks get when they see a kid going through something they did.
But this wouldn't be a story if something bad didn't happen.
One day, I went over to her house, to maybe see if she wanted to go to a movie or the like. Her father answered the door, so right then I knew something was up, cause normally she came leaping down the stairs four-a-time when she heard me knocking.
"Son..." he started, his hand braced on the door like it was the only thing keeping him standing.
Before he said another word, I saw it. Or, I guess, didn't see it.
That light in his eye was gone.
///////
Her Dad had taken a job in Oregon. By the time summer rolled 'round, they'd all be gone, living up there in LoggerLand like a bunch of goddamn hippies.
Now, you gotta understand, this was back before all this newfangled technology gave long-distance lovers a fighting chance. The most we'd ever get was the U.S. Postal Service, cause back then the phone would have cost an arm and a leg.
So it was over. There wasn't gonna be a wedding, wasn't even gonna be a senior prom together, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.
I bet you can imagine I was right pissed off. I ditched school every day that week, meeting up with Ray to go throw rocks at rabbits and other useless crap like that. I thought about picking up the bottle again, but I knew Beam, even working with his buddy Daniels, wasn't gonna take this hurt away.
So I picked up Sanders again, gave his magic 45 another spin. Fell off the wagon, whatever you want to call it. I called it relief.
All the words were the same, the notes still the same order, but the song...the song just was different, different like everything else. It didn't make me feel good, or relieved, or anything at all, really. Sanders had become just another song.
I cried that day, let loose all the anger and frustration that had been building up. I had counted on Sanders to take it all away, make the sadness dissipate out of my body, like he did the last time I felt like dying. But in the end, not even couldn't beat this one, and I'll be damned if that didn't make it all feel ten times worse.
I was barely breathing, my head racing with all these different thoughts, most of all wondering if I'd ever see her again. But soon a new kinda thought found its way inside my noggin, something I figured was better than just sitting around crying.
Like I told you before, I'm the type of guy who realizes when he's got a good thing going. So I hope you're with me when I realized that sometimes you gotta fight to keep what you're lucky enough to get.
So right then, I quit my bellyaching, wiped the tears from my cheeks, and set out to do something. Without a word, I ran out the front door, past my parents at the kitchen table, looking as if they'd been praying for my young soul.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't storm over to her house and barge right in, without so much as a knock to let 'em know I was coming. I just went straight up to her room, where I knew she'd be crying her eyes out, just like I had.
I was gonna walk in there and comfort her, some way, some how, even though I didn't have a damn clue exactly how to go about doing that. All I knew was that our time was short, and I'd be a straight idiot to waste another second of it.
I threw that door open, all ready to hug her, and kiss her, and do whatever else it took to make sure she never forgot me, not for one second.
And she was sitting on the edge of the bed, the record player going, a familiar tune being played by that tiny needle.
As Sanders played on, baring his soul for anyone to hear, we looked at each other, new tears rolling down my cheeks to match the ones already on hers. I just stood there, staring at her with awe-struck eyes, surprised at myself for ever having thought I could let her go.
Soon the song ended, the string wavering softly in the air, like the final word of an angel. We both hung there, not sure what to do, waiting for the other to make a move.
And with a burst like lightening, she hopped to her feet, and I rushed forward, meeting her at the foot of the bed with open arms. I went crazy on her, peppering her with kisses as I held her close, before finally closing the deal with the biggie, our lips acting out the words neither of us knew how to say.
I swore to her that I wasn't ever gonna let her go, that it'd take the Devil himself to tear me away, and I was gonna do everything I could think of to get us back together one day. And Lucy smiled and nodded, her cheeks still wet with tears, saying that she'd wait 'til the day she died if she had to.
We just stood there, swaying like trees in the breeze, holding each other 'til long past the sun went down. No words were spoken, no tears shed, just the quiet sounds of the record player as the needle bumped along.
But that doesn't mean that Cash was done preaching. I figured out about then that his song wasn't about moving on, forgetting what ails ya...it was about strength, being able to deal with the change-ups life loves to throw.
She was gonna leave, yeah, but I remember thinking, that as long as we had that song...well, everything was gonna be all right. That might seem like a cop-out ending, but I hope you remember what I said about closing credits.
Sometimes you just gotta trust that it's all gonna end up OK.
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-04-14 09:12:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Admit it, you know you missed this!
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-04-13 20:19:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-13 18:24:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha nice try joe
make us think you're a chick now
---
hotwillie when will you learn i am a chick
its the ultimate joke to pretend to be a guy who is pretending ta be a chick who is really a chick just pretending to be a potato
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-13 18:49:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-13 18:47:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
alzheimer's is like that
bubba can't remember whether he pulled down his pants to shit this morning but he remembers your review from 1997
=====================
Thanks, Willie. I wondered about that smell.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-13 18:47:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
alzheimer's is like that
bubba can't remember whether he pulled down his pants to shit this morning but he remembers your review from 1997
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-13 18:46:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You and Willie are the ones calling it a grudge. Why would I hold a grudge?
It didn't involve me, I just thought you acted like a little boy who felt slighted.
What is the explanation for your not posting since then? Hmmmmmm???
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2008-04-13 18:36:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow dude, wasn't that like 2 years ago?
You held an internet grudge for 2 years?
The blanks are already filled.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-13 18:31:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thank you bubba that means a lot coming from you
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-13 18:30:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No grudge, Willard, he's just a fucking whiner. At least you don't whine-you just act like a retard.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-13 18:28:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha bubba holds a grudge like it's his johnson
you must have insulted his boyfriend mccallum somewhere in the distant past
+2 mccallum insulter
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-13 18:26:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-04-13 12:34:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you fucking commented!!! now post something you cunt
================================
He's done with posting. He's still crying about losing an internet competition.
"Is anybody rooting for me?"
Fucking WAH!!
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2008-04-13 18:24:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
All ready there, sir.
Only here cause Darko has a hard-on for my shit, and feels the need to remind me regularly.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-13 18:24:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha nice try joe
make us think you're a chick now
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-13 18:23:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
your reverse psychology worked
congratulations
now get out there in the world and make something of yourself
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-04-13 18:21:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i thought i did give it a -2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2008-04-13 18:17:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Aw c'mon...where's my -2 then?
If it was really that boring and long, and with a dreaded "anywho" no less, I think I deserve a -2.
Don't tell me I actually caught an alter in a random act of generousity, giving a 0 to something he didn't bother to read. That's classic -2 territory, downright rookie.
Appease me. Please.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-13 18:09:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my what a touchy young man
i read the first sentence, which wasn't promising but indicated the auto-biographical style
i scrolled down to see how long it was and caught the dreaded anywho right off the proverbial bat
voila! my review appears as if i read it when i actually just scrolled
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2008-04-13 18:04:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You can't say you didn't read it, when you quoted it, smartass.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-13 17:58:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i didn't actually read it, bucko
i was just joking with you
but thanks for believing i did!
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2008-04-13 17:50:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This was an alternate entry to UberMadness IV, just so everyone knows.
I.E., fiction.
Thanks for thinking my made-up stories are really that believable, though.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-13 17:40:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
everybody thinks their lives are sooooooo interesting
don't say anywho
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2008-04-13 16:17:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Could have."
Just saying.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-13 14:59:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I reckon you could of made this post so much shorter, i was bored to tears halfway through.
Just saying.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-13 13:25:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by spyder882001 (user info) at 2008-04-13 13:09:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
got half way through, got bored, -2
not even gonna finish
----------------------
A moron.
Submitted by spyder882001 (user info) at 2008-04-13 13:09:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
got half way through, got bored, -2
not even gonna finish
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-04-13 12:34:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you fucking commented!!! now post something you cunt
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-03-07 12:44:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
hmm, I counted your replies, and they add up to more than one.
Too bad you failed remedial math.
Now, quit pursuing me! I am going to tell Bart on you!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-06 18:32:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Auto -2 for using "anywho".
Submitted by TheScaryGuy11 (user info) at 2007-03-06 18:09:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wept. :*(
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-03-06 17:30:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-06 17:28:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-03-06 17:18:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-03-05 22:00:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98168#2335434
http://www.ubersite.com/m/99324#2335431
JonnyX is now spam-reviewing posts. He thinks that I called him out on the Uberboard, and thus he exacted his "revenge" upon me.
------
Well, let's see - the ONLY person who whined about me giving Joey a +0 was YOU.
and then, you cried to Bart than I should be banned for giving out TWO -2s.
So, if giving Joey a -2 makes you cry, then I say its worth it.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-03-05 12:40:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and for the record, I don't have a credit card. I can't post on the Uberboard.
That was most likely Zebra.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-03-05 12:40:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahahahahahahaha.
What a pussy.
Seriously, ahahahahahaha. You're getting revenge on FAC, the quote-unquote "biggest pussy on Ubersite."
Oh God, I can't stop laughing.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-03-05 12:13:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-03-02 18:06:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahahahaha.
Sorry Joey. I didn't mean to get you screwed over on the ratings.
I guess it just kinda proves my point, JonnyX really is a dick, rating you on my review rather than the post.
-------
actually, the only dick around here is you, I rated his previous post honestly, and you (FAC) had to whine about it on the Uberboard.
If the post sucks, then it gets a -2, fuck you if you don't like it, bitch.
Submitted by swimmingbirdblue (user info) at 2007-01-29 23:02:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"But fact is, drinking's not really such a big deal down South, so just chalk it up to me being a bad storyteller, I guess."
Well, with the "anywho", I'm tempted to do exactly that. Except I'm from the South (folks gotta stick together and take care of their own or somesuchshit) and your story strikes a chord, even though it kinda peters out at the end there. Kinda like real life.
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-01-29 19:38:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
*tear
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-01-29 18:09:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm suprised that I read all of this. I liked it, there was a general hokeyness that appealed to me.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-01-29 16:49:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by sweetcheebs (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:19:38 (#)
Ranking: 1
It wasn't momentous or anything, but I did read the whole thing despite its length. So that's worth 1 at least.
--------------------------
Uh... yeah... An interesting read.
Submitted by sweetcheebs (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:19:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It wasn't momentous or anything, but I did read the whole thing despite its length. So that's worth 1 at least.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-29 14:34:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Long, but worth the read.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:53:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:21:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:24:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
Stevie woulda kicked my ass if I had posted this instead.
--
FUCK YOU
:-D
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:35:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
coincidentally, i was goign to write a post using this title, just for fun. it was gonna be about absent fathers and the bullshit that people make up about them to make the kid feel special, and then how old lies become something we have to hold on to after awhile, because they become more important than truth.
then i got bored and wrote something trite about death instead. always stick to the bread and butter.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:34:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:41:00 (#)
Ranking: 1
Good writing but I'm not so big on the ending. Also you definitely have to lose a point for this:
"Anywho."
------
good thing this wasn't an UberMadness entry, cos it woulda tanked
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:17:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:02:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've had this idea that I've wanted to do for a while, that I think I have to do this round.
Because going against Jack, I think it's my only hope.
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:02:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So are you still bangin' her?
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:00:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, I just want to see you do another MSpaint post period. Or maybe something funny. It just seems like it's been a while since you've done a post that makes people smile.
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:59:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
soooooo did you ever see her agian?
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:58:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The thought had actually crossed my mind, Darko.
All depends on the title.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:57:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I will pay you so much if you do a MSpaint entry for this round.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:47:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Read about half and gave up.
Liked what I read though.
Didn't suck, but too much lamenting for my taste.
Too many word make Drake head go boom.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:46:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Brought me back.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:42:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good story.
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:41:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Good writing but I'm not so big on the ending. Also you definitely have to lose a point for this:
"Anywho."
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:40:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:24:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Stevie woulda kicked my ass if I had posted this instead.