New Users: Whom They'll Replace and Why (957 hits)
Category: Computers & InternetLabels: heated
Rating: -0.1 on 53 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Maltese (View user info) at 2007-01-29 11:50:26 EST
Recently, Uber has been greeted with a slew of new users who are both active and post some really good stuff. I believe that they will be Uber's new stars and take the place of some old and retired users. Here is a look into each one and how they each suck dickcockpenis in their own special way.
Sorry, did I say dickcockpenis? I meant awesome. Yes, they all suck awesome in their own way. Now, as you all know, certain things are hard to replace once we have grown attached to them, and the same goes for Uberusers. Too many users have left, but these guys can replace certain authors, sort of like an army of retarded clones. Most users leave and give up after their first post gets something usually below the -1 range, but these guys managed to make the tough transition into, well, the best way to put it would be, "not rampantly accused of being an alter". Behold, a critique of each user and who they will replace.
JoeyG
Replace: comicbookguy, Tinactin, GLALL, Bickerstaff (maybe)
Probably the best new user of 2006, this guy posts hilarious stories, something which this site used to be bountiful of. This guy instills new hope inside me and probably everyone else for the future of Ubersite. Seriously, every post he makes is gold and all his posts should be on B@W.
Director
Replace: Fat Tony
There is no doubt that this account, a continuation of EbolaMay's account, is bound for stardom as the new and improved Fat Tony. But with less fat. More like Average Tony, but with all the racism, homophobia, hatred, and misogyny still there and more refined than Tony's. Batteries not included.
Pannerplant
Replace: YOUR MOM LOL
This guy is actually quite unique. He seems to hail from 4chan, due to his certain brand of humor and ability to make people engage in comic competitions. I happen to really like
St_Jimmy
Replace: Anybody
Jimmy is one of my favorite new users. He's pretty much a wild card here, and I think he can replace any old user as long as said user didn't follow any certain niches (basically, a typical warm-blooded Uberuser). He's slightly funnier than the average poster, however.
SilentRenegade
Replace: Gibberish, forthewin
This guy is like Gibberish and forthewin having a major crack-induced blood orgy in a hotel room while Andy Warhol films it. He can crank out MS Paint murals (albeit smaller and of a slightly lower quality than Gib or FTW) at a rate of one every three days. He's that fast. He will be our resident Picasso. Doesn't seem to like me though.
frankthebear
Replace: OathMeal, Doodles
Probably most (in)famous for -2ing all of sicosemen's posts after being convinced sicosemen "hacked" his posts off the front page (in reality, his post went below -1 and were automatically removed from the front page), he is evil and cunning. He's like a teddy bear that will kick you in the nuts. Everyone hates him though, which is a shame.
beauxjizzle (aka SlowlyRotting)
Replace: Wookie
He's the quintessential Ubersite user; rants, comedic stories, pictures, and interesting articles (basically the same formula I use, but throw in a lot of Uber-related posts as well). He hasn't posted for a month though. I fear we may have lost him.
lungfish
Replace: hidden101
I like this guy. A lot. He's the nice hippy type guy, and if everyone was like him, the world would be a much better place. However, we'd all die to the Sun being blocked out by marijuana residue. Anyway, I think that he's a perfect hippy version of Hidden. I don't exactly know why I think that, my brain works in mysterious ways.
GMCrayon
Replace: Anybody
Once again, like St_Jimmy, he can replace basically any average user. He's so average, that his rating (at the time of this writing) is a perfect zero. So average, in fact, that (to quote Jack McCallum) "his parents could have had 1.3 children if they could".
locksly
Replace: sicosemen
He could very well replace sicosemen (sico's still active here but it's kinda like he's not because he doesn't exist), what with the same post style, anger, and supreme talent at bashing other users.
=====
And there you have it. If you don't like it, then I automatically assume you masturbate to anime fanfic involving Queen Elizabeth II and Eminem engaging in a mutant salami tentacle sex-play battle involving ice cubes and fisting. Oh, the humanity.
User Reviews
Submitted by v8lover (user info) at 2007-02-05 18:35:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-31 18:42:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:26:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-29 14:37:35 (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:42:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
You've replaced jgreening.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-01-30 03:40:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:08:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
STFU, Maltese
--
Damn you; another list I didn't fucking well make.
Submitted by swimmingbirdblue (user info) at 2007-01-29 22:30:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I like the comic, so +1 for that. I'm still really new here, and my posts are pretty shitty, but oh well. I won't weep just because I didn't make Maltese's list.
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2007-01-29 20:07:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:26:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-29 14:37:35 (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:42:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
You've replaced jgreening.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-01-29 19:45:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Director
Replace: Fat Tony
There is no doubt that this account, a continuation of EbolaMay's account, is bound for stardom as the new and improved Fat Tony. But with less fat. More like Average Tony, but with all the racism, homophobia, hatred, and misogyny still there and more refined than Tony's. Batteries not included.
======================================================================
You are so far off it's nerve/earth/mind/penis/New York City shattering.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-01-29 19:04:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
JoeyG
Replace: comicbookguy, Tinactin, GLALL, Bickerstaff (maybe)
______________
No.
Joey's good, but those 4 are a whole novver level.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-01-29 18:58:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I will never be replaced! I shall rule over all mwahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahha!
Nurse, my medication!
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2007-01-29 18:49:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You care about Uber way, way too much.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-01-29 18:38:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I dunno if anyone will be "replaced".
However, I strongly urge the old-timer to encourage new talent when it pops up.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-01-29 18:13:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2007-01-29 16:36:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
This is just fucking tragic.
Your life is tragic.
=
heheheheh.
I always liked that Chronic kid.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-29 18:01:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to replace Baking Lady.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-01-29 17:59:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to replace Danger_Ranger
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-29 17:54:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nasty
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2007-01-29 17:45:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-29 17:43:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Maltese, I mean. Not Icarus.
Um...
Unless he wants to, which I doubt.
====
IMMA ON MAH NEEZ
K NOW PUT YER PEN0R IN MAH CHEWIN H0LE
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2007-01-29 17:44:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
BIG DICKS
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-29 17:43:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Maltese, I mean. Not Icarus.
Um...
Unless he wants to, which I doubt.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-29 17:42:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:32:58 (#)
Ranking: -2
The first rule of ubersite is that you do not fellate ubersite.
----
You can fellate me.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-01-29 16:43:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Exactly how many hours do you spend on this website daily?
Pull the plug.
Now.
For your sake and ours.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-01-29 16:36:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
locksly
Replace: sicosemen
He could very well replace sicosemen (sico's still active here but it's kinda like he's not because he doesn't exist), what with the same post style, anger, and supreme talent at bashing other users.
_________
Have you read any of my posts, or just the one about you and sicosemen? I really don't think anyone could say that he and I have the same post style.
and YOU are doodles buddy. think about it.
and the director is as good as fat tony is bad.
the only one I agree with is...
Joey G - this guy is awseome.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2007-01-29 16:36:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is just fucking tragic.
Your life is tragic.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-01-29 16:12:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
For some reason I thought St_Jimmy had been here a while. Odd.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:26:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-29 14:37:35 (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:42:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
You've replaced jgreening.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-29 14:37:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:42:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
You've replaced jgreening.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-01-29 14:27:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Maltese will eventually be replaced by a user of the moniker Shithead.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-01-29 14:00:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What am I saying?!?!?! I don't post nearly enough to make any impact.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:59:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:25:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for nothing.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:55:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
lol'ed at the comic
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:53:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Shut the fuck up, Maltese
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:42:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You've replaced jgreening.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:32:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The first rule of ubersite is that you do not fellate ubersite.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:28:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
stfu
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:21:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
decent but +1 extra for that funny comic.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:09:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
STFU NOOB
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:04:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:21:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Who's gonna replace you after your next perma-ban?
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:43:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad you realize that you need a life.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:40:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:54:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
And I can't open that post you left a comment on for some reason, what did you say?
====
Bart blanked it, as well as Method's "a list EVERYONE has made" post.
First, I searched the Google cache on http://www.ubersite.com/m/95646, but it still gave me the blank page. Then I attempted to use Ubersite's mirror on the cache, using http://www.ubersite.net/m/95646. I hovered over the "label" button, dragged it into my address bar, then copied the post's token number, which was 1163256138534123667. I then inserted the token number into the address bar in front of the review address:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_review.cgi?message=1163256138534123667
I then left the comment, "CENSORED LOL".
Fuck me, I need a life...
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:38:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this post actually made sense - how refreshing
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:29:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you need a fuckin hobby, piggy.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:25:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for nothing.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:22:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"involving ice cubes and fisting"
Oh joy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:21:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who's gonna replace you after your next perma-ban?
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:19:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahhhh, my first list. *basks in attention*
Although saying I could replace anyone is a bit much. I don't think I'm that versitile.
But thanks for the complement anyway.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:14:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:11:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can't negative rate a post with my name in it. It just feels wrong.
Anyway, SG can't replace me and Gib until he gets a MS Paint post on the MVM.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:08:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
STFU, Maltese.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:06:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're worryingly obsessed with this site.
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:02:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:59:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
fag below... you people seriously need to get off my nuts.
Submitted by v8lover (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:58:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
sicosemen is my alter, as well as locksly is sicosemen's alter.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:54:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 name drop.
Glad you like my stuff.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:54:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And I can't open that post you left a comment on for some reason, what did you say?
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-01-29 11:52:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So I'm irreplaceable?