Ubertines 07: Appassionata (517 hits)
Category: RomanceLabels: ubertines07
Rating: 1.35 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2007-01-29 12:08:02 EST
I
To violence we are birthed, by violence tamed
Down long unwalked aisles, in old cars,
And in the laughter of a woman; to this end,
This blood rift that runs between us,
I would see you by violence brought to love me,
Language spliting air as hammers
Is in its own way savage, the embrace of night
Is in its own way as savage
As the touch of lips upon another man's brow,
And you would seek to taunt me
With violence.
I am just and wicked in love
As you will come to understand
Breaking hearts in breaking water
In love I am wicked and just
Your eyes may never again be as beautiful
As they are now, below, below,
But that is your choice; your skin still warm below these
Little, breaking tides - still, then swept
A tempest now a timid thing
And up again that you may sing
Answers to the mystery.
Do you love me?
Wicked love is unjust, untrue
The breaking red 'round eyes of blue
In white surrounding rivers bend
A swallow, a sputter, a shriek
I have made you my life and pulled flowers in your name
Do you
I have grown handsome and full and forsaken all others
Do you love
I have become a fool that you would blush and smile
Do you love me
I have given you everything
I have given you everything
I have given you everything
DO YOU
LOVE ME
YET?
II
In the peace of love there is a simple pattern
A beat resounding in the smallest corner of the heart,
And in mine there beats but your name
Over and again, again and over,
Inverted and repeating
Sublime within the beating
The beating of my glass-eyed heart;
For I am at rest now that I am with you
And near you, and will remain until
Death upon a nightmare wakes us
From this mortal dream
To sever us but a while.
Oh, but in this moment let us wait
And resemble, and recline, that we
May share our lives but for a time
To couple and create and from split
Souls form a new and noble whole,
A beautiful violence breaking hearts
To mend them fully, stronger than
Before, before the old lovers with
Simple flowers and unready hands,
And split throats spilling blood upon
The floor, how it shines still on
Tile and the carpet beyond, and more
That that, these unreasonable men
Fumbling with the steps of this dance
Connecting, your innocence and beauty
Protecting I have made my play
And will love you fully
Until your dying day.
I have made it easy for you,
This I swear - accept me truly
Or live below these breaking depths,
This shaking once-still water
Nevermore to bear a son or daughter
With my face to make me smile in advancing age,
You will give me your heart
Or risk my rage.
You will be no one else's, if not mine:
Will your white throat speak above
My tender, aching hands?
Make your choice.
III
You are gone from me, and you will carry my love away
Silent now below the calm, you are gone from me
I will love you still
Broken and whole, muted and motionless
Beautiful and perpetual you smile, adore me,
As even the end cannot contain you,
Undone by your overwhelmed heart
I will love you still
My lips upon the face of the water, I burst
Pockets of air from your blunt, resting lips
Breathing you in, breathing into you
I will love you still
You will be removed
You will be prepared and tended to
And I will lay you down upon our marriage bed
I will love you
Still
User Reviews
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-04 19:16:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow..I asked the same question in my Ubertine. I am teh subconscious plagiarist.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-03-04 18:45:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry I missed this.
do do do doo do do
do do do doo do do doo
You know what I'm humming after reading this.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-03-04 18:26:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So beautiful and disturbing.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-31 16:34:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for reading.
Submitted by alienaide (user info) at 2007-01-31 14:52:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Amazing, I have been reading your stuff for awhile now, and this one truly stands out in my mind!!!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-31 05:47:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I sincerely apologize for not getting this rating in sooner.
You have a frighteningly convincing talent for writing from the perspective of the betrayed, the stalker, the killer.
I find that some of my favorite writing of yours is when you write in the second-person perspective.
My lips upon the face of the water, I burst
Pockets of air from your blunt, resting lips
Breathing you in, breathing into you
I will love you still
These are some of the most disturbing lines I've ever read anywhere.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-30 09:52:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2007-01-30 07:51:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll upgrade you to a zero, ok? Only if you promise to stop whining like a little bitch. You remind me of Thorns during FUPA.
And apparently I've got about as much class as you've got sense of humor.
---------------------------------
HEY! I resemble that comment! :p
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2007-01-30 07:51:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll upgrade you to a zero, ok? Only if you promise to stop whining like a little bitch. You remind me of Thorns during FUPA.
And apparently I've got about as much class as you've got sense of humor.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-30 07:50:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, do I get a free pass into Round 2 for having the most hits in this contest?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-29 22:14:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2007-01-29 19:12:16 (#)
Ranking: -2
This is purely a retaliatory -2.
You used too many words, as well.
---
You're a class act, nitty.
Submitted by swimmingbirdblue (user info) at 2007-01-29 21:57:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll read this later. I'm sure it's good though. A bit lengthy, but that's just the illiterate in me bitching.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2007-01-29 19:12:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is purely a retaliatory -2.
You used too many words, as well.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-01-29 18:29:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-01-29 16:30:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Really long. But I read it anyway
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:35:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-29 14:53:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thoroughly enjoyable.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:40:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
then find a new word for 'birthed' - its cumbersome anyway, and the diphthong takes out that meter a little - or at least it seems to to me.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:32:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:24:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
dont have time to read it all, but you shoulda started with 'Unto'
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I wanted to preserve the 12/8 progression of the opening few lines. Sacrifices were made.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:32:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you drowned an emo chick - good for you
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:24:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
dont have time to read it all, but you shoulda started with 'Unto'
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:24:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you really are scary.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:17:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Too fucking long.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:17:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
drip.
drip.
SPLOOOSH.
guhnnnn....
>sigh<
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:16:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it, but I think the repetitions were a little jarring
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:14:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked the part where she fucked herself with a tree branch until the bark came off.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:09:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hub: http://www.ubersite.com/m/97970
Potential reference post, if you wish to read this as a continuation - http://www.ubersite.com/m/83408