Ubertines '07 - "Daisies in the Field" (2373 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.15 on 162 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by This ain't Shlongy (View user info) at 2007-01-29 12:16:55 EST
This reads better if you first, clean your monitor, using this intraweb monitor cleaner.
http://www.25-88.com/clean_your_monitor/brush.swf
OK...now we're ready to proceed.
"Daisies in the Field".
Counting always counting ways to write
Welcome back, Your dreams were your ticket out.
Welcome back, To that same old place that you laughed about.
Well, the names have all changed since you hung around,
But those dreams have remained and they've turned around.
Who'dve thought they'd lead ya? (Who'dve thought they'd lead ya?)
Back here where we need ya? (Back here where we need ya?)
Yeah, we tease him a lot, Cuz we've got him on the spot. Welcome back.
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.
And from my hands may devilry prove angelic...
There's a bunch of daisies in that there field over there
Next to that dumpster.
THE end.
User Reviews
Submitted by RestrictionsApply (user info) at 2008-10-21 22:16:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-09 12:26:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Not too many people missed it.
This lead the Ubertines contest - which I thought I won - in hits.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-04-09 12:02:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not quite sure how I missed this gem.
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-03-18 17:29:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that would be zero broads, shlong.
i have discriminating tastes in the ladies, and none of those who frequent this place meet the mark.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-15 23:11:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm King of all heterosexuality.
Ask every broad that you wack off over on Uber.
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-03-15 21:30:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
geriatric fag below
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-15 09:53:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
(fag below)
Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-03-15 09:17:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this shit stinks and so do you. Here I thought I would be delighted with a treat from the shittiest reviewer who puts honest, selfless, reviewers like myself in a bad light. May I suggest you stick to what you do best, pumping cock, like you had to think about it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-14 18:28:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+0 blows.
Hey, thanks for stopping by, bonnee. We've been waiting for you and your rapier-like-wit to stop by with a zinger.
This post, as Godawful as this can be, has twice the hits of the original.
How sad.
Submitted by bonnee (user info) at 2007-03-14 18:06:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
shlongy is a fuckhead
Submitted by Feety (user info) at 2007-03-14 18:02:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
he sure did take it from him, mr t. i knew i read that line before.
Submitted by Mr_T (user info) at 2007-03-14 18:00:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
did he?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-03-14 17:58:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
He did take that opening line from me, after all.
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-03-14 17:55:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
me too
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-03-14 17:52:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Damnit I keep slipping.
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-03-14 17:50:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
wait, i'm more wounded than i initially thought.
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-03-14 17:47:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hurt feelings auto 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-03-14 17:46:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oops.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-14 17:36:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good job, scourge.
Even a dimwit like YOU has a purpose around here.
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-03-14 17:23:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
comment
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-03-14 17:23:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-03-13 23:44:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH GODDAMMIT
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-03-13 23:09:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
+ or - 0?? Fuck dat....
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-13 22:53:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If anyone deserves a "-0", it's Shlongy.
Thanks for the try.
I'll remember that on YOUR next post.
Please, dear God, don't let it suck ass.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-03-13 22:50:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmmmm now it's positive zero again? odd.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-03-13 22:50:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NEGATIVE zero. How good's that? Thank me later.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-03-13 22:50:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
let's see
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-13 22:38:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Someone please return this horseshit post to the perfect 0 rating it so richly deserved.
Submitted by wrinklebeast (user info) at 2007-03-13 20:18:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Way to be an asshole.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-03-13 18:17:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-03-10 13:03:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I remember back when I was foolish enough to think that I would pass Shlongy in reviews written over the summer. Luckily getting my ratings banned put an end to that,
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-10 12:40:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd like 3 more, all regarding Shlongy reaching what was thought to be impossible...30,000 reviews.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-03-08 17:24:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-07 08:02:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
30,000 reviews, kids.
How about a tribute post...to me?
-------------
Ive already done like 4 for fucks sake! What more do you want old man?!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-07 08:02:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
30,000 reviews, kids.
How about a tribute post...to me?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-26 16:54:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I feel the same way about Shlongy.
What a prick.
And, what a prick!
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-02-26 16:46:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Only Shlongy can make me hate him and love him at the same time.
Fuck shlongy.
I love shlongy.
Submitted by moneyshot (user info) at 2007-02-26 16:36:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Auto-Schlongy -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-25 08:59:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Probably was.
12 year olds - hell, 17 year olds - should not be allowed anywhere near a computer.
So, shut the fuck up...again.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-02-25 00:22:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I remember about five or more years ago when I was about 12, I went onto the San Jose Sharks website's forum and got into an intense swearing-packed flame war with a bunch of middle-aged assholes on the site.
Was one of them you? It would not surprise me.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2007-02-23 16:05:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mine was SO much better.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98186
I can't believe we both lost. This contest is fixed.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-23 15:57:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, it's a start.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-02-23 15:42:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
dammit... if only I had alters
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-02-23 15:40:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*sp shame
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-02-23 15:40:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was at a perfect 0 rating, you dumb fucks.
---
hmmm... that IS a shme. does this make it better, shugalonky?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-23 09:09:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This was at a perfect 0 rating, you dumb fucks.
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2007-02-22 21:20:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:44:53 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2007-01-27 12:34:17 (#)
Ranking: -2
christ
Submitted by Despina (user info) at 2007-02-20 20:21:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
OMG and ur saying my posts r garbage? ur such a loser, get a life
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-19 20:22:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I must have missed the part where that dickhead admitted anything but...I knew all the time that if it wasn't you, it was that fatass coward.
I still saved the emails...I like to laugh at his/(your) threats every once in a while.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-19 18:11:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy, you missed this last week while you were on vacation, but Oathmeal made a post where he admitted it was he who sent you all those stalker emails
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98786
Submitted by pannerplant (user info) at 2007-02-19 07:35:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
everyone has AIDS
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-02-18 11:34:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Shlongy man, you missed a tribute to you: http://www.ubersite.com/m/98734
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-18 11:22:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sugar Bowl is on the Northwest side of the lake, near Squaw Valley.
I thoroughly destroyed my shoulder, and my summer, on the southeast side of the lake.
I am out of action for quite a while. Fucking skiing.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-08 17:16:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, since I've never been- and the only Sugar Bowl I know of is one of the 47 College football Bowl games- I'll look into it when I'm out there.
Even though I'm still at work - well, actually, I'm home now, getting sauced to go play poker tonight - in my mind, I'm already in Tahoe.
Even got a haircut today so I look even better than usual.
can't wait.
I'm bringing 5k and plastic with me.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-08 17:10:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sugar bowl
been there the last two years - 22nd -26th.
work is hard right now so really looking forward to it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-08 16:53:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's pretty strong.
I rule.
I have the exact same amount of people that hate me as love me.
Life is in perfect balance. Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-08 12:36:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Rating: -0 on 106 reviews
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-08 12:36:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2006-04-09 06:25:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
And yes, my shirt rocks. Wherever you go, always look like you came back from a vacation
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-02-08 12:27:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
your wish, my command
x
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:40:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
A -1 could take this to 0...where it fucking belongs.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:10:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-02-07 11:15:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<insert shameless ass-kissing in here>
Go shlongy!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-07 07:47:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Awwwww, shucks. I'm tearing up here.
Submitted by ArcEld (user info) at 2007-02-06 23:14:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy, you're the best guy on the internet.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2007-02-06 22:44:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thats the great thing about a shlongy post, you can always come back and laugh at the latest comments. As much shit as some give the guy, you must give him credit for his resilience and ability to match you insult to insult. Bravo shlongy. Bravo.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-06 18:06:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're also one helluva liar, Brucie.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-06 18:03:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No, dipshit.
Not just homosexuality, although THAT is rather obvious.
I'm also zeroing in on your little temper tantrum and your Kleenex use.
Sorry, you're not where I can just reach out and give you 2 or 3 good backhands across the chops.
Got any suggestions on what I can do to insult your dumbass better?
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-02-06 17:46:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It's funny the only insult you can direct my way is somehow related to homosexuality. Funny how that doesn't seem to strike a nerve...
You want to insult me, you should probably try something a little less cliche, and maybe something a bit more poignant for this particular situation.
I'm half your age, and can do everything you do twice as well.
I can smash your cranial dome twice as hard with a blunt object.
I can get twice as many woman - twice more beautiful.
Keep my cock hard twice as long.
I earn twice (but probably ten-fold) more than you.
I can drink twice as much as you.
I am twice the man you ever were, and ever will be...
If you want your face ruined, simply knock on my front door.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-06 17:36:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The next time I'm in Chicago, I promise that you'll be the first to know.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-06 17:36:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ooooooooooooooooooohhhhh...You don't sound tough.
You sound like a fag.
Bet you hear that all the time.
Ask your office mate for a Kleenex...sounds like you're all out.
Now I have my new TommySorrell (Retired: November 2005) to make cry on Uber. THANKS!!!
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-02-06 17:32:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually, yes, I am a tough guy. And you'd be surprised what I "could" do.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-06 17:29:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-02-06 15:42:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't even fuck with me Shithead.
What are you going to do about it, tough guy?
BTW, you're coming across as a real limp wristed faggot...you know that, right?
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-02-06 17:29:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You have a striking resemblance to Freddy Krueger... Stop by Chicago and I'll make arrangements for you.
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-02-06 17:21:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Heh.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-06 17:07:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH....
No, say it isn't so...you're not going to....MINUS TWO me, are you?
OH NOES!!!!
I'm all broken up over it.
Tell you what. Why don't you go fuck yourself.
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-02-06 15:42:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't even fuck with me Shithead. I will -2 every single post of yours in a moment's notice. I don't care if I get banned...
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-02-06 15:41:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Good thing I stopped for this -2.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-06 12:28:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, that's what I "crave", dicklicker. You nailed me.
You can't win, gaylic. You're not smart enough. Or tough enough.
So you just keep on slurping, Ok, fella?
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-02-06 11:58:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You would crave a blowjob from a man younger than you, you fucking balding pedophile. Hahaha. Fuck off, tiny.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-06 08:25:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why don't you blow me, gaylic?
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-02-06 01:50:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're such a queer little retard.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-02-04 16:12:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
sooo close
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-02-04 16:12:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Maybe this will help
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-02-04 14:02:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yup, I always clean ma monitor like that..
Oh Kiss me hard, bad boy
or
whatever!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-04 12:28:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're killing this post with the +2's.
Knock it off.
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-02-04 11:04:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*sob* its so beautiful....
Im sobbing so hard I'm vomitting blood through my navel.
You have touched my soul
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-04 11:01:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Even after that assburglar just -2ed me, the rating went UP to +.01.
WTF.
Submitted by pannerplant (user info) at 2007-02-04 10:04:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
suck my dick woman
Submitted by pannerplant (user info) at 2007-02-04 10:03:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
fuck you
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-04 09:45:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh huh.
You can't make this stuff up, kids. 0.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-04 09:15:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
PERFECT JIRO
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-03 10:05:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for fixing this, fellas.
Submitted by webcorona (user info) at 2007-02-02 20:00:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
balance
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-02-02 19:59:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
balance
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2007-02-02 19:25:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-02-02 17:44:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Trying to do my part. (again)
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-02 17:41:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
not enough, apparently
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-02 17:41:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
maybe this will help?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-02 17:23:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
ah crud, i messed up the rating, I tried to cancel out my previous rating - yes i am a fucktard
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-02 17:22:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-02 17:10:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I've been on my "A game" review-wise, ever since that scorching JonnyX post a few weeks ago.
Happy to help. It's a team game.
------
actually, you HAVE been pretty sharp lately - it's good to see the master back
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-31 15:40:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Close the door on this post, please, Mr. Webmaster (you faggot).
0.00
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-01-31 14:55:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I hope this makes it zero.
If not....oh well.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-31 14:54:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Almost a perfect 0. Perfection.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-01-31 03:43:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I saw this thing about hilton head on the food channel and now I want some oysters.
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-01-31 03:33:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahhh hell its shlongy
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-01-31 03:32:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The end?? really.cool.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-01-31 03:16:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-30 11:23:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Trust me, I'm throwing a party over the 0.
I just thought all of my 'mates", "blokes", and Euro-sluts that love Shlongy would drop by and prop this thing up to +1.64.
euro-sluts.... like that one !
Submitted by swimmingbirdblue (user info) at 2007-01-30 12:15:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As promised, here's a +2 for you. The post is not that great, but the heatwhoring alone is noteworthy. Well, maybe not so much. Whatev. I still appreciate your scathing reviews on everyone else's work.
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-30 12:13:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
shlongy: perhaps the biggest piece of shit on this site
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-30 11:23:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Trust me, I'm throwing a party over the 0.
I just thought all of my 'mates", "blokes", and Euro-sluts that love Shlongy would drop by and prop this thing up to +1.64.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-01-30 11:17:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-30 08:44:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
Europe and Australia have let Shlongy down...yet again
Be happy with a 0 . Poems are not my kinda thing . (and i can't imagine you are,either)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-30 08:44:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Europe and Australia have let Shlongy down...yet again.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-01-30 02:00:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bohme (user info) at 2007-01-29 23:37:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-29 23:30:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
mildly amusing
Submitted by pannerplant (user info) at 2007-01-29 23:08:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
would you fuck me for blow
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-01-29 20:37:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 20:05:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The rally is continuing...I just need some more Uberites with bad - make that, NO taste - to show up and rate, Coyote.
Just wait until Europe shows up around 4am EST.
It's all over.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-01-29 19:35:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this must live
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2007-01-29 19:06:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2007-01-29 18:56:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 17:39:10 (#)
Ranking: -2
Here I come...rallying to positive integers.
WATCH OUT COYOTE! I'M GAINING MOMENTUM.
-=-=-=-=-
I knew this would happen! How can I compete with a legend?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-29 18:44:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2007-01-29 17:37:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
I did an illustration of this glorious post.
-----
You owe Nitty for this +2.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 17:39:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Here I come...rallying to positive integers.
WATCH OUT COYOTE! I'M GAINING MOMENTUM.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2007-01-29 17:37:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I did an illustration of this glorious post.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 17:31:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's also extremely sad when "0" ratings bring your post rating UP.
You've wounded me, people.
I thought that Shlongy could post pretty much anything and get away with it. Like usual.
I SHOULD BE ABLE TO...I THINK I'VE EARNED THAT RIGHT.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 17:25:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:46:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:30:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Smart move, Badlands.
Studies have shown that workforce productivity decreases by upwards of 47.6% when employees are forced to do work - and their web surfing, solitaire, porn, shopping, etc. - through a dirty monitor.
That's why you kick ass, Badlands...Your staff will probably go through the proverbial wall for you...because you look out for 'em.
---------------
It's all true. I'm what you call a "problem solver". I think "outside the box". I tackle issue before they arise. That's called "proactivity", kids. And it's that kind of can-do attitude that takes you places in the business world.
Write that down.
DAMN RIGHT!
Also, STAY IN SCHOOL, KIDS!
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-01-29 16:35:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's all true. I'm what you call a "problem solver". I think "outside the box". I tackle issue before they arise. That's called "proactivity", kids. And it's that kind of can-do attitude that takes you places in the business world.
Write that down.
---------------------------------------------
Buzzword bingo - you win. The funny/digusting thing is, I've worked at places where you'd have walked on water for your mastery of that kind of BS. Excellent - better than the post.
Daisies in the field - WTH? If I wanted to belong to some gay poetry forum, I wouldn't be here at Uber. If JonnyX doesn't post a picture of some gal in bra pretty quick I'm going to have go scrub off the gayness with Comet and Lava.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-01-29 16:29:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Next to that dumpster
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-29 16:11:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98173#2293605
answer the fucking questions.
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-01-29 16:04:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this ain't a comment
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:46:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:30:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Smart move, Badlands.
Studies have shown that workforce productivity decreases by upwards of 47.6% when employees are forced to do work - and their web surfing, solitaire, porn, shopping, etc. - through a dirty monitor.
That's why you kick ass, Badlands...Your staff will probably go through the proverbial wall for you...because you look out for 'em.
---------------
It's all true. I'm what you call a "problem solver". I think "outside the box". I tackle issue before they arise. That's called "proactivity", kids. And it's that kind of can-do attitude that takes you places in the business world.
Write that down.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:31:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:03:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
bahahaha - can't let this giant steaming pile of shit off the front page!
God bless you.
Which would mean even more if I believed in a God.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:30:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Smart move, Badlands.
Studies have shown that workforce productivity decreases by upwards of 47.6% when employees are forced to do work - and their web surfing, solitaire, porn, shopping, etc. - through a dirty monitor.
That's why you kick ass, Badlands...Your staff will probably go through the proverbial wall for you...because you look out for 'em.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:15:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I've forwarded the "monitor cleaner" to half my staff.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-29 15:03:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
bahahaha - can't let this giant steaming pile of shit off the front page!
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-29 14:59:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 14:56:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't believe I'm not at LEAST getting points for the monitor cleaner.
What's WRONG with you homos?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-29 14:54:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What a surprise.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 14:46:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I am going to kill the asshole who talked me into participating in this stupid contest.
As soon as I can recall who the fuck that was.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-01-29 14:01:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
needs less stool softener
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-29 14:00:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy, are you ready for your interview?
My first subject bailed out on me for the time being, so you're up to bat. Here goes.
1.)Rank the following in order of importance:
Scotch
Golf
Broads
Baseball
Knocking dipshit homo virgin zitboys' teeth across the bar
2.)In October a certain Uber user said the Cardinals would be out of the postseason in four games. I forget, how far did they get?
3.)Titman, assman, or legman?
4.)Given the opportunity, would you buy Ubersite from Bart? At what price?
5.)I usually ask the questions around here, but due to the fact that you are Shlongy, damnit, I'd like to give you a little room here to talk about the things that shape the Shlongy worldview.
Once you answer these, I'll give you the next round. Either drop the answers here or email them to me uberscourge.at.gmail.com and keep the readers in suspense. Its your choice, I'm going to repost them either way.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:54:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:17:20 (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm so romantic, I just gave myself wood.
--
Yeah, there's a news flash.
Better that you stick to... well, whatever it is that you do when not on Uber.
Submitted by A_D_Sweetmeat (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:42:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ahahahahahaha
You are truly retarded in Electro proportions.
Submitted by Dexter-Brown (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:35:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You bear a striking resemblance to Horshack in his twilight years.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:27:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Read it thirty times. Fucked myself. Cleaned up.
Still hated it.
The deeper meaning eludes me.
But I certainly enjoyed trying to figure it out. Now its off to the market to buy an ice pack to sit on.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:16:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/44437
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:16:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:57:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh...I don't have to use a condom this time, do I?
-----------------------------
Well, shlongy jr told me today that he would really like a younger brother or sister. Your call snookums.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:14:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You'll have to read it again- maybe 20,30 times - to come up with the complex inner meanings of this magnificant, yet subtle...nebulous, yet fertile... original, yet plagiarized award winning poem.
Or, you can just go fuck yourselves.
I don't really care one way or another.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-01-29 13:04:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:24:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow! I'm truly stunned, what with all the Napoleonic big guy talk you'd expect this and every other Shlongy post to be a poetic/literary masterpiece. Stick to reviews, although I must admit it isn't -2worthy. It IS worth reading.
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Agreed.
Reviews are more your forté.
Shit, I'd write something terrible just for you to bash it. (and have....lots.)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:57:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What's the date of your nuptuals again?
I'm going to Tahoe Feb 10-17...I'll have to squeeze you into both of our busy schedules.
Oh...I don't have to use a condom this time, do I?
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:54:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
One night with you stud!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:46:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't forget- If I win, you'll get ANOTHER Shlongy classic in Round 2.
That should influence your vote somehow.
These "contests" absilutely KILL your average hit quotient.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:44:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2007-01-27 12:34:17 (#)
Ranking: -2
christ
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:44:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Would it have rated any higher if I had used Orgasmo's ENTIRE poem, like I had originally cut & pasted?
I thought he'd kill himself if I did that so I substituted with a little something I wrote back in the 70's.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:34:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Winner!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:27:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Welcome back, Kotter.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:25:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh comeon, it's orgasmatron's shit. even i recognized it.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:24:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-11-08 19:18:18 (#)
Ranking: -2
I like how it flowed....when I flushed.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:24:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow! I'm truly stunned, what with all the Napoleonic big guy talk you'd expect this and every other Shlongy post to be a poetic/literary masterpiece. Stick to reviews, although I must admit it isn't -2worthy. It IS worth reading.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:22:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I love this MJ chick.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:21:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Winner
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:18:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
up your nose with a rubber hose
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-29 12:17:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm so romantic, I just gave myself wood.