Let me save your life today! (405 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.42 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Linda <gollygoshgirl.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2007-01-30 03:03:23 EST
It happens to the best of us. On the rare occasion, I even choke on my own saliva.... Don't ask me. It builds up at some point when you talk as much crap as I do~~
Ok.. Here is the secret. I've known it for sometime now, and have made the decision not to use it knowing that I would end up getting tea up my nose - for what reason? You ask.. Umm.. I'm an idiot that likes to experience the consequences of stupidity sometimes?? But I shall side track no more and share this secret with you. Don't tell anyone. Swear to god, hope to die, stick a needle in your eye. Don't cross your fingers, I can see you. K fine fine. I can't police it anyways. Cross your fingers. See if I care. I dub the Triple G method by the way. Not that the name matters, as tis the practical application is all we care about, right? Right. Now this is posted with your health and safety in mind, as we know coughing fits can lead to heart attacks and if the liquid is thick, there is a chance of suffocation. We don't want that, do we? Didn't think so.
So here it is:
Hold your coughing reflex until AFTER you swallow - it only takes a second to swallow it, tis not so hard. I just tried it with my tea minutes ago.
Good stuff. Tried and tested, the triple G method shall never fail you.
User Reviews
Submitted by PhillipTheGreat (user info) at 2007-01-30 20:37:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
THAT'S RIGHT YOU'RE GONNA SWALLOW!!!
Or we can snowball...
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-01-30 15:49:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I guess that EVERYBODY here figured this out by, oh say, day one of life. Else they would not be subjected to this shit.
congrats one being waaayyy behind the rest of us though.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-01-30 15:28:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
stupid
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-30 14:10:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
that was stupid and unhelpful. gag reflex is called reflex because it's an involuntary reaction.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-01-30 13:53:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2007-01-30 13:43:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-30 13:18:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Girls who discuss swallowing techniques AND use the word golly?
Jesus CHRIST that's hot.
+2s forever.
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-01-30 13:36:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i like the part where you said hold your gag reflex until you swallow
that was good
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-01-30 13:18:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Girls who discuss swallowing techniques AND use the word golly?
Jesus CHRIST that's hot.
+2s forever.
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2007-01-30 13:05:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
alters suck.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-30 12:42:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2007-01-30 10:41:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't you ever do this again, young lady.
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2007-01-30 10:28:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Let me give you a tip today:
You suck! :D
Submitted by emmakwon (user info) at 2007-01-30 10:22:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2007-01-30 03:27:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
What's the matter with you? She's saving lives, people!
obv barts alter
Submitted by emmakwon (user info) at 2007-01-30 10:21:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice alter
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-30 09:59:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i have nothing to say to this post, but i clicked on it.
i'd like to offer something ehlpful, but it's too big a hill to climb. i'd like to say aomething mean, but i just don't have it in me today.
just nothing.
try harder or find another website.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-01-30 09:58:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for inspiring Phallic_Cymbals to write one of the finest reviews ever.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-30 09:56:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Swallow my batch...and shut the fuck up.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-01-30 09:43:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Did you know that a tablespoon of Draino will get rid of the hiccups AND exfoliate your digestive tract?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-30 09:43:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not sure what that was all about, but I was mildly entertained. And educated.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-30 09:39:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awww you got knocked off the front page!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-01-30 07:14:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Gollygoshgirl (user info) at 2007-01-30 06:08:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow... Phallic. You flaming review is much longer than the post itself.. Hahaha.. I really do appreicate your taking the trouble though. I is so touched. Hang on.. there is dust in my eye... Thank you for caring :D
Submitted by Gollygoshgirl (user info) at 2007-01-30 06:05:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Gee... You guys are all picky bastards ain't you... -_-
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-01-30 04:58:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You actually managed to achieve a -1 on the basis that Phallic_Cymbals just ruled all over your face in such a glorious manner...
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2007-01-30 04:51:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by BadSamaritan87 (user info) at 2007-01-30 04:17:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-01-30 04:10:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Linda, on the homepage of this website there is an interactive dropdown box that possesses a default reading of "newest".
Clicking on this box allows you to navigate this website on a number of bases.
Please click the heading that says "Best Ever" and then click "Go".
What will come up is a list of the best posts, as rated by users like yourself, on this website.
The written works contained therein are by no means one genre, but there is a general theme running through them.
All of those stories that are considered to be the "Best Ever" posted on this website, be they anecdotal, apocryphal or works of complete fiction, have a number of features that, insofar, your writing is not even attempting to reflect.
While i am not inciting you to conform to some sort of formulaic, predefined structural boundaries, i do ask that you consider the following;
-Your posts are not long enough. The best stories on this website engage the reader by creating some sort of empathetic response, and you cannot create a reader/character empathy in the space you provide.
-Your posts are too mundane. The content is puerile, trivial and uninteresting. The subject matter you approach is not in itself groundbreaking, and that puts the pressure on your delivery. This leads me to:
-Your style. You have chosen the first person conversational narrative as a delivery premise and, while often effective, your particular stylistic approach is unengaging. As i said, please browse the best ever, because at the moment your posts, mired as they are in unaesthetic argot and diaphanous casuistry, make you look like a fucking stupid cunt.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-01-30 03:42:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2007-01-30 03:27:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
What's the matter with you? She's saving lives, people!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh yeah for real.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-01-30 03:32:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This tea is white, viscous, and tastes like Clorox I presume?
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2007-01-30 03:27:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What's the matter with you? She's saving lives, people!
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-01-30 03:23:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
what a piece of shit.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-01-30 03:07:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment