There's a Chinese man playing the flute in the downtown square and I want to kill him (998 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.98 on 47 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by I_can_get_you_a_toe (View user info) at 2007-02-01 20:42:35 EST
It's not a good day
My boss keeps walking past my office with shifty eyes. I smile politely, all the while screaming at him in my head.
The cookie shop I walk past every morning is closed; I miss that smell of doughy goodness
I haven't had a cigarette break in 6 hours, I sniff my yellowed fingers hoping to get a whiff of tobacco and I end up smelling the cheap soap they use in the staff toilets
A phone call - no sir, I will not help you, It's Friday afternoon and the countdown to the weekend has begun
Ubersite is boring today, I can barely muster the strength to -2 No Comment
The view from my office sucks, what the hell is that black thing anyway? Why build it? It serves no purpose other than to piss me off with it's mystery
I bumped into an old schoolmate yesterday. Turns out a couple of the boys from my Year 6 class are in prison for manslaughter, a drunken fight gone wrong.
An email from my sister - the smart one - she's going to be a lawyer someday, we made a pact that when she becomes rich I get to live off of her for 1 year.
My flatmate took all 7 of us out last weekend and spent $4000 at the bar. I hope he's keen to do something this weekend.
A holidaying Australian couple drove off without thier eight year old daughter, not realising she wasn't there. Stupid Aussies.
Maybe I should drive down to Wellington this weekend for the Rugby Sevens. Wonder if my friend is keen though, I still owe him petrol money from the last road trip.
I feel like going bungee jumping, I was so scared the last time, I didn't get a chance to enjoy it.
It's so hot today, my jacket is sticking to my skin and I probably smell too.
I finally get my cigarette break but there's a Chinese man playing the flute in the downtown square and I want to kill him
User Reviews
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-11-29 02:12:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just gonna finish this off before bed, with no bad jokes.
Submitted by ArnieGeddon (user info) at 2007-11-05 18:59:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://english.aljazeera.net/NR/exeres/F93C150C-1446-492B-93B8-D930C6EE8412.htm
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-11-05 09:20:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
RETALITORY -2 WOOOO!!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-06-18 01:38:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-06-18 01:21:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One of my favorites...
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-25 19:10:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1.5?
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-03-12 16:36:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
umm, ok.......thanks
I usually only average about one post a month as it is.
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-03-12 16:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you shouldn't quit posting just because i insulted you.
i'm not even good enough to have an account anymore.
Submitted by Off_The_Wagon (user info) at 2007-03-11 21:35:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Too disjointed.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-03-06 22:33:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Land of the Long White Cloud
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-03-06 22:08:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah it seems kind of a waste of a dollar, i've never used it myself being too young to have a credit card.
What country is that?
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-03-06 20:51:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ooohhh the uberboard - nah wasn't me, i don't care that much.
plus we generally don't use paypal in my country - we have something else. <----- useless trivia.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-03-06 20:30:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-03-06 18:42:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
haha Axolotl is such a little pussy http://www.ubersite.com/m/90766#2336955 gesture appreciated.
you?
---
I don't gets it....
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-03-06 18:42:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha Axolotl is such a little pussy http://www.ubersite.com/m/90766#2336955 gesture appreciated.
you?
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2007-02-15 18:27:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I haven't had a cigarette break in 6 hours.
yep.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-02-15 18:18:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LIKING PIZZA IS ALL WELL AND GOOD...BUT WHAT THREE TOPPINGS ARE BEST?
AND WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH IT? (HINT: THE ANSWER ONLY HAS FOUR LETTERS AND RHYMES WITH BEER....NO WAIT, IT IS BEER)
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-02-15 18:09:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yep, ima girl. and i like pizza.
there i said it.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-02-15 17:48:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WAIT A MINUTE.
ARE YOU A CHICK?
I SHOULD BE NICER TO YOU IN KEEPING WITH UBERS RULE ABOUT VAGINAS DESERVING GOOD RATINGS.
LET'S BE BEST FRIENDS.
YOU RULE.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-02-12 15:52:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
nigga please, if ima gonna stalk anyone it would be that filthy aussie danger_ranger.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-02-08 19:21:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LISTEN, TOE GUY, YOU KEEP FOLLOWING ME AROUND AND THERE'S GONNA BE A CRUMPLING.
DON'T YOU SEE ALL THE VIOLENCE ON THE FRONT PAGE?
UBERSITE AND BEIRUT SHARE A LOT OF LETTERS FOR A REASON.
IT'S A WARZONE.
MADNESSMADNESSMADNESS
I GOTTA GO SLAUGHTER THIS COW WITH A MACHETE
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-02-08 02:41:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Aussie accent is fucking awful, especially on women.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-02 11:48:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
was it this guy?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/32307
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-02-02 09:45:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Take his picture. We can make him an uber-legend.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-02-02 09:13:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
felcher
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-02-02 08:59:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-02-02 08:57:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where IS Flute Boy when you need him?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-02 08:32:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-02-02 03:29:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wellington + dollar sign + proximity to stupid Aussies = New Zealand?
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-02-02 02:54:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Where the buggery is Flute Boy?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-02-02 01:37:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
My back hurts and I can't stop playing with my beard.
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-02-01 22:43:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i liked this even though i dont like the words keen, petrol, and flatmate
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-01 22:27:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
mmm..random.
Can you really get me a toe? Two actually? I'm not kidding.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-02-01 22:22:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Seven of you drank $4000 worth of liquor? What the hell where you drinking? I think you've got your pounds to dollars conversion factor mixed up there chavmeister.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2007-02-01 22:01:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My day is worse for having read this.
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2007-02-01 21:52:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
lets go bitch ... gimme a bottle of rye first, get the irish blood flowing
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-01 21:04:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
See Unabonger, re: Maltese.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2007-02-01 21:01:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
he_cant_steal_me_a_finger
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-02-01 20:57:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-01 20:56:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2007-02-01 20:55:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
it makes me giggle to think of people actually using 'keen' in everyday conversation
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Wanna fight about it?
-----
yeah, I'm keen for a fight
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-02-01 20:56:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2007-02-01 20:53:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
IS IT FLUTE BOY?
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Yes, Yes it is.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-01 20:56:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2007-02-01 20:55:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
it makes me giggle to think of people actually using 'keen' in everyday conversation
---------
Wanna fight about it?
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2007-02-01 20:55:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it makes me giggle to think of people actually using 'keen' in everyday conversation
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2007-02-01 20:53:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
IS IT FLUTE BOY?
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-02-01 20:51:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by emmakwon (user info) at 2007-02-01 20:50:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
nz downtown... what is that a fish and chip shop?
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-02-01 20:49:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by emmakwon (user info) at 2007-02-01 20:49:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
great tale!! and then what happpen???
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-01 20:45:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
kiwis have no appreciation for culture
Rugby doesn't count
They only made Lord of the Rings there cos it was cheap