2 lies, 1 truth, and... bonus camwhore (694 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.37 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Luther (View user info) at 2007-02-02 15:52:24 EST
1. When I was 12 my parents took me on a cruise- the Big Red Boat. I'm not sure if it's still around but it was a Disney cruise. Breakfast with Chip n Dale, Lunch with Minnie, etc. There was always something to do- no matter how old you were, and you didn't have to have your parents up your ass 24/7 because you were on a boat, in the middle of the ocean. It's not like one could run away or anything like that. It was probably the coolest thing I had ever done at that point in my life. So I decided to go to one of the outdoor pools (I think there were 4 pools on the boat) to swim one afternoon. I was swimming and splashing and carrying on with at least 10 other kids for an hour or so when I noticed a lot of commotion over in the hot tub. I got out and started walking towards it, trying to figure out what all the fuss was about. There was an old guy sitting in the hot tub, and 2 or 3 assistant-type people swarming around him, getting children to get in the hot tub and sit with the old man. This struck me as extremely odd, and as I turned to return to the pool, someone grabbed a hold of my arm and whispered "Excuse me, but we're shooting a scene from a movie here, and Mr. Gottfried would like you to be in the shot- sitting next to him." I don't know what movie it was, honestly. My parents might remember, but I don't really care.
2. When I was 17 I was an intern at a local radio station. I live in a fairly small town that happens to be home to a Big Ten University. All of the local radio stations- all 3 of them- were in a competition to get the most student listeners. The station I worked for decided to put on a huge, free, outdoor concert to try to up their rating. The bands that I recall being there were 3 Doors Down, Sum 41, Kittie, and Godsmack. My job, as the intern, was to drive the band members where ever their hearts desired. Mostly it was just back and forth to the hotel from the venue, or to McDonald's. I only had a dinky little 2-door Cavalier at the time, so I borrowed my Dad's Explorer. Now, none of these bands were really that big back then- except for Godsmack- but I suppose whoever booked them knew they were going to be big some day. Anyhow, I was driving the guys from Sum 41 to their hotel when one of them reached their tattoo covered arm up to the tape deck and pushed in the tape that my dad always had hanging out of his stereo. In an instant, my ears were being raped by the sounds of ABBA. I quickly turned the volume down, only to have it turned back up immediately by the guy in the front seat. "Wow, a kid that listens to ABBA. That's pretty kickass, man- we love this shit!" I have never like ABBA.
3. Back in my college days, I was known around the dorms as "that crazy-drunk gay guy." So maybe I went to college just so I could drink my face off and still be "normal." Whatever, it worked for me. I had a habit of getting really drunk just about every night and then getting myself into situations where I felt I had to prove myself to be accepted. Oh, I know- the horrible EMO angst. I'm definitely the type to call attention to myself, make an ass of myself, and then be a bitch and act like I don't care that everyone's laughing at me. I also like to make people laugh- one of my favorite things to do. Well, one night at a frat party (read: older guys that I felt the overwhelming need to impress for some reason) someone recognized me from my dorm and started talking to me. His older brother was apparently a brother in the fraternity, so I was introduced to him and 2 other guys. "This is that crazy-drunk gay guy I always tell you about. He's freakin nuts, man!!" Frat boy older brother responded by asking "Just how crazy are ya?" So here I stood, feeling sort of like a mildly retarded 7 year old on a sugar high. "I'll do anything if you give me enough alcohol!" Real smart, kid. Fucking genius. So older frat boy brother told me that he'd give me an entire bottle- a big 1/2 gallon or gallon sized bottle (I don't know the measurement- but bigger than a fifth) of Southern Comfort if I walked down the road a little ways to this little farmette where people had 2 horses and a few ducks- and place the horsecock in my mouth. His reasoning? "You're gay, you put dick in your mouth all the time, who cares if it's not HUMAN dick?" Well folks, I was 19 and therefore too young to buy alcohol in the store, and I was also hammered- pretty hard. I wanted the SoCo, and 10 frat boys wanted to know if I was actually crazy enough to put a horse's member in my mouth.
User Reviews
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2007-02-07 00:29:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
no notice of the file name?? no? no takers??
thought that'd make it obvious it wasn't really me...
people puh-lease, do you really think a pretty gay man would look like this?? ...not that anyone will ever see this... but I thought I'd throw it out there anyhow.
heh heh *snort*
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-02-03 03:15:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
please tell me its number 1
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-02-02 18:01:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
They're all true.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2007-02-02 17:29:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
# 3
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-02 17:04:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you must eat a lot of Honeycomb cereal
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-02 16:23:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Should have kept your looks a Uber mystery, Lurch.
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2007-02-02 16:15:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
ew
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2007-02-02 16:12:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I reaaaaaaaaaally hope #3 is a lie, and I'll go with 1.
Submitted by nya_nyo (user info) at 2007-02-02 16:02:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
that picture scares me, you are one ugly gay man