Santa Claus: Child Rapist Extraordinaire (752 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -1 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Maltese (View user info) at 2007-02-04 22:14:05 EST
Blah, blah, blah, I know, one post per day, but this was just too good to wait and I want to redeem myself for my fiasco earlier today. I know I'm no Orgasmatron, but I try. Anyway, without further ado...
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Every Christmas, I deliver my toys
Under the trees of all good girls and boys
Eating the cookies and drinking the milk
Left for me on the sill, smoother than silk
But what they don't know is my secret life
I've been having some trouble in bed with my wife
So I need sweet release, there is only one way
But to buttfuck the children the night before Christmas Day
Gently I tiptoe, past their parent's front door
The coital moaning not unlike a whore
I make my way into the child's bedroom
Where their ass is my bride and my cock is the groom
Slowly I slither and slowly I slide
Standing there quiet, using up Astroglide
Parting the cheeks I begin to insert
Waking them up with severe butthurt
Moaning and groaning, in and out it will go
I came down his chimney and scream ho-ho-ho
The child is crying and screams as my member
Violates him on this night of December
Santorum spewed forth, becoming quite smelly
My masterful mixture of shit and sex jelly
As his anus starts bleeding, he prays for death
And I come thunderously and inject crystal meth
Covering his mouth, I wiped my ass with his hair
While wiping my dick with his teddy bear
Then I hear footsteps, and then suddenly
I hear his parents turning the key
His father asked me, "what was all that commotion?"
As I hid my erection and my tube of hand lotion
He then realized his child had just been assraped
Then tied me to the wall with a ton of duct tape
He smoked a cigar and then burned my tits
His son's anus exploded into bloody bits
As his father's cigar just burned my skin
He untied me and asked to join in
And we spent that day in an anal threesome
Dad, son, and Santa in incestuous fun
While the sun was rising and the night dissipated
No children had gifts, so I masturbated
User Reviews
Submitted by v8lover (user info) at 2007-02-05 18:32:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-02-05 18:22:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
how about one shitty post a day, retard?
Shut the fuck up, Maltese.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2007-02-05 18:06:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha ha.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-02-05 16:19:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Your existence is pointless.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-02-05 10:12:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Stop trying.
Submitted by Harbinger (user info) at 2007-02-05 08:37:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
thanks for listening
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-02-05 04:22:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Dude!? WTF?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-02-05 01:34:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Get rid of all your alters. Now. Especially Cera, he's more annoying than you are.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-04 23:34:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Haha it was your bit, I'm just borrowing it.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-02-04 23:30:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-02-04 23:19:47 (#)
Ranking: -1
Maltese - PLEASE tell all your friends, alters, whatever... to get the fuck off this site.
I think you're just a weird kid with too much time on his hands.
However, this recent explosion of Trolls seem to all congregate around you.
-----------------
Maltese, JOIN PULSEHEAD AND DRIVE KAOS INSANE!
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Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-04 23:14:59 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-02-04 23:12:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Everything you ever wanted to know about Stagger_Lee
User id: 23675
Registered on or around: 2005-11-30 22:53:50
# Messages posted: 54
# Reviews written: 4951
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 2556
# Hits: 55947
Average rating of all messages: 1.54
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Good one.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-02-04 23:19:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Maltese - PLEASE tell all your friends, alters, whatever... to get the fuck off this site.
I think you're just a weird kid with too much time on his hands.
However, this recent explosion of Trolls seem to all congregate around you.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-04 23:14:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-02-04 23:12:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Everything you ever wanted to know about Stagger_Lee
User id: 23675
Registered on or around: 2005-11-30 22:53:50
# Messages posted: 54
# Reviews written: 4951
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 2556
# Hits: 55947
Average rating of all messages: 1.54
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-02-04 23:12:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by I_love_Kracka (user info) at 2007-02-04 22:47:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
absoutely nothing to do with you. This post really creeped me out.
Submitted by I_love_Kracka (user info) at 2007-02-04 22:40:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-02-04 22:38:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-02-04 22:22:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cute
Submitted by cera (user info) at 2007-02-04 22:19:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck you all
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2007-02-04 22:18:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
way too many forced rhymes, but it was a decent attempt
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-02-04 22:16:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Uh. Fuck you.