Ubertines 07: Round 3 Pairings (952 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.28 on 83 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2007-02-07 11:19:18 EST
Only one forfeit last round. I'm proud of everyone. Except ripple that is. Forfeiters. No better than thieves and debtors really. They should all be sent to Australia with the rest of the abnormals.
Anyway,
[Filler]
[Comments about good stories in the previous round]
[Praise for everyone who read and reviewed and all the good sportsmanship]
[Filler]
[Musings about who will take the top spot at the end]
[Comment about how the highest rated loser advanced to round out the 7 winners to 8]
[Filler]
[Filler]
[Self promotion]
[Pun]
The Round 3 pairings, drawn at random from the Hot Damn It's Colder Here Than It's Been in Three Years, Colder Than a Fish's Wageen, Colder Than Those Apple Juice Popsicles You'd Make as a Kid, Cold-Cold-Double-Cold-Titties-on-a-Fox Winter Cap of Heroic Warming (+8 Against Wind Chill) ARE:
DrogoRoch v.
goferferhire
Stagger_Lee v.
ghola
inion_de_noonie v.
Fungah
100K Queen Sacrilicious v.
MichaelJackson
Round 3 stories are due by 11:59PM (Eastern) Monday, February 12.
Voting will end @ 11:59PM Tuesday the 13th.
Leave titles here if you want. Share your feelings about the upcoming holiday or that psycho astronaut chick. Leave your VD wishes for your favorite Uberuser. Discuss balls for all I care.
Or don't, embrace your selfish ways and skate off whydontcha.
APW below. A twofer, if you will.
User Reviews
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-02-14 10:42:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry for the forfeit.
classes. shit. ya know?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-13 12:08:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Orgasmatron/l/ubertines07
Vote early, vote often. Deadline's tonight @ midnight.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-12 22:52:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fulham it is, then. I'll make some calls.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-12 22:45:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BESIDES YOU ALREADY CRUSHED MY HEART WHEN YOU TOOK MAN UTD
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-12 22:45:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You can have Fulham if you don't already. Nobody cares about Fulham.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-12 22:43:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It will cost you one more English football club to an American investor...
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-12 22:41:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mea culpa. I didn't think it through.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-12 22:27:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah, but does NOT using a comp label distort how the piece is received as well?
I ASK YOU, twinface.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-12 21:45:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think putting contest labels on these things distorts how they are received by people.
I didn't really consider that people would be comparing them, actually, my bad.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-12 21:37:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
THERE, I SAID IT.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98714
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2007-02-12 16:58:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am like spider man, I catch the little kiddies in my web
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98703
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2007-02-12 12:28:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ubertines 07 - My Valentine's Gift To You - Genital Warts and a Horny Dog
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98686
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-12 11:32:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Stag- in fairness, shouldn't you include the ubertines label? I mean, someone might rate differently if they know your post is in competition with another post, you know?
In other news, I may have to forfeit this round. Sigh.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-12 11:23:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98683
Her hair was as black as a bucket of tar, her skin as white as a cuttlefish bone.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-02-12 11:12:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98667
etcetera
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-02-12 10:46:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-02-12 10:38:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
i have to write an essay on divorce for class and a story about love for here.
irony is fun!
--
Divorce can still encompass love!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-02-12 10:38:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i have to write an essay on divorce for class and a story about love for here.
irony is fun!
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-02-12 10:05:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98679
God I'm tired. I have a pain in my neck that makes me want to puke when I move it in a certain way; very weird.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-10 14:06:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well I mean they do but they're sort of frigid so they don't count. OH..FRIGID=COLD I get it.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-10 13:59:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew something wasn't right. Fishies don't have wageens.
So what..is it like 70 degrees where you are right now? Shame you can't skate off the cold.
Somebody give me a title. And it can't be the first part of this review. I probably won't use it, but fuck I got nothin.'
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-08 17:49:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-08 08:16:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
Give it time, Stag. Soon Americans will own Arsenal just like they own Liverpool.
All your football are belong to us.
---------
*tears. fucking buckets of them*
Fucking Madrid and Barca are owned by the fans, goddamn English football and its shitty fucking lack of regulations and standards fuck its goddamn ear.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-08 14:58:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:20:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear Lishy,
I am incredibly sorry. I'm actually feeling insecure because Matt loves you more than me. I think in all the hustle and bustle of the Ubertines season, I lost sight of my love for you. Please forgive me and know I respect you more than any of the other "girls" on here.
Your friend,
MyT
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Dear Matt,
You're a whore.
Fuck off and die,
MyT
===
Dear MyTee,
You are forgiven. We all have our moments.
But don't feel down about Matt, he's mean to everybody sometimes. Especially me. Sometimes I'd like to stomp right on his foot. Not today, though.
Your friend,
Lishy
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:20:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear Lishy,
I am incredibly sorry. I'm actually feeling insecure because Matt loves you more than me. I think in all the hustle and bustle of the Ubertines season, I lost sight of my love for you. Please forgive me and know I respect you more than any of the other "girls" on here.
Your friend,
MyT
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Dear Matt,
You're a whore.
Fuck off and die,
MyT
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:10:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:56:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:50:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Do not fear the Oh, My Damn Monkey.
He is your friend.
_________________
Nope. He's not my friend. Thats evilness on a stick. He will haunt my dreams and fist my grandma. I know the type.
---
HE IS YOUR FRIEND AND YOU WILL LIKE HIM AND FEED HIM CHEESE
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:01:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
stagger will trample me
but i'll like it
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:56:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:50:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Do not fear the Oh, My Damn Monkey.
He is your friend.
_________________
Nope. He's not my friend. Thats evilness on a stick. He will haunt my dreams and fist my grandma. I know the type.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:50:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Do not fear the Oh, My Damn Monkey.
He is your friend.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:46:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:35:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
OH MY DAMN (below)
http://www.manstables.com/Greg/rodeomonkey.jpg
Not funny O-man. That just scared the crap outta me.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:35:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OH MY DAMN (below)
http://www.manstables.com/Greg/rodeomonkey.jpg
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:33:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would have freaked about possibly only winning because she was nice and +2ed my story, a favor which I did not return to balance things out, but she still made it to the next round. O Frabjuous Day!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:31:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A real man would explain himself, so I'll just try and not lose any sleep over this mystery.
A real man would also recognize and not be threatened by the fact that just because a girl gets a little success and earns 100K doesn't mean she's a sellout.
A smart man would have played his cards right and waited until AFTER I visited him in Chicago to lose all respect for me.
C'est la vie.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2007-02-08 09:45:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My spelling aside, Lishy is a sellout now and I have lost all respect for her.
Not that I had much to begin with...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-08 08:16:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Give it time, Stag. Soon Americans will own Arsenal just like they own Liverpool.
All your football are belong to us.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-08 07:31:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But then, ghola's response would be to eat him alive, and that too would..so..
Either way, I win.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-08 07:30:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oohh..I've caught me a glimpse of Stagger_Lee's dominant side, and well, I..
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-08 03:59:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As ghola and I drift into this 3rd round tie, I am reminded of this year's FA cup that saw Arsenal and Liverpool collide in a 3rd round tie. Two titans, battling it out. One must go home early, the other, to possible (unlikely in my case) victory. Who will win in this awesome, frantic battle? Only football will be the real winner here.
ps you're liverpool, bitch, you're going dooown.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-02-08 02:02:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck, Round 3 contestants!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-07 23:45:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope that word is "sasquach."
Or maybe, just maybe, "nocturama."
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-07 23:35:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Word to all your mothers.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-07 23:07:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Noonie, the woman and the generally referenced Snatch Bits, is often to blame for the world's problems.
If it's not one it's the other, really. It really clouds the waters that one possesses the other, yet they can be considered independent of each other.
Sh(amone)longy, what's your position on "teh?"
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-07 21:05:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I also don't like saying - or reading - "ghey", "teh", "buttsecks" or "pwned".
Nothing personal.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-07 21:00:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nuh uh. Not when you're talking to MJ. It's hiers language. Like if I was talking to you, I'd say "dipshit" and "scotch" a lot. See?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:56:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Saying "Shamone" is really gay.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:42:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Aw, you should go for it. I'm not clever at all, and look at me.
HEY MICHAEL JACKSON- YOU WANNA BE STARTIN' SOMETHIN'?
YOU BETTER BEAT IT, 'CAUSE I'M BAD. I'M BAD, YOU KNOW IT!
...
...
...
SHAMONE!
Submitted by sweetcheebs (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:30:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I've heard them refer to her as noonie before, so I did get it. I would have posted some clever rebuttal, but the fact that I'm not that clever put an end to that.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:03:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sure. See, in place of noone/no one, ghola typed "noonie" as in inion de..pretending that by "noone" you really meant..
Oh nevermind. You probably got it all along.
I'm just teasing. It's what we do. Plus I had a bad day. I blame noonie.
Submitted by sweetcheebs (user info) at 2007-02-07 19:57:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
did you even read my response?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-07 19:44:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA GHOLA MADE A FUNNY AND THAT LADY OR MAN DIDN'T GET IT.
Submitted by sweetcheebs (user info) at 2007-02-07 19:32:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-02-07 18:27:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
i think you need to quit saying noonie is biased.
she votes fair.
plus, learn to spell.
---
Fuck off with the nitpicking, you stinking winner you.
I know how to spell no one, you can see that in some of my previous posts. I tend to type it wrong from time to time though, like when I'm quickly replying to a comment at work.
Cut me some fucking slack, I'm no professional. Oh and good luck in the competition. Bitch.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-02-07 18:27:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i think you need to quit saying noonie is biased.
she votes fair.
plus, learn to spell.
Submitted by sweetcheebs (user info) at 2007-02-07 18:25:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:23:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
So then whom is biased, and why?
---
noone, I'm pretty sure I already admitted my mistake
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-02-07 18:02:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
jerkles below
|
|
V
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:58:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Indeed.
Let us return has our sheep.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:54:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Let us return has our sheep.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:51:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No I don't. These aren't the droids I'm looking for.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:50:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No. No, you don't.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:48:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I mean Val.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:46:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just fine, Mog.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:45:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
whatever, Micheal.
HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:42:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Now now, let's not call users out on their spelling.
Besides if you're going to do that then you may want to suggest he learn how to spell "Mighty" first.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:41:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GO MYTEE! LEARN HOW TO SPELL MICHAEL!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:40:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I likes balls. Except blue ones.
I likes when they bounce.
yup.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:37:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GO MICHEAL JACKSON! BEAT THE SELLOUT!
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:31:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, cunt it.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:23:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So then whom is biased, and why?
Submitted by sweetcheebs (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:19:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-07 15:26:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sweetcheebs (user info) at 2007-02-07 15:18:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
well fuckstick, I could have written something better if I knew the deadline was meaningless.
biased fucks
---
Meaningless deadline? How's that? Everyone who participated got theirs in by the set date and time, with an additional day for voting and such.
---
My own stupid fault, I was thinking noon instead of midnight. It doesn't matter, I'm sure Ghola would have beaten me anyway.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-07 15:28:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
O wing-ed Victory
I beseech thee
O Nike Athena sustain us in your Glory
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-07 15:26:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sweetcheebs (user info) at 2007-02-07 15:18:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
well fuckstick, I could have written something better if I knew the deadline was meaningless.
biased fucks
---
Meaningless deadline? How's that? Everyone who participated got theirs in by the set date and time, with an additional day for voting and such.
Submitted by sweetcheebs (user info) at 2007-02-07 15:18:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
well fuckstick, I could have written something better if I knew the deadline was meaningless.
biased fucks
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-02-07 15:08:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
horseshit...I'd have had a higher rating if it weren't for that fuckbag Maltese and his shitty little alter.
I mean I wouldn't have beaten Fungah but I may have been selected to progress because of my rating.
There's always next time, I guess.
good luck to the lot of you.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-02-07 14:32:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good game, kids... *smacks Katy's ass*
Good game, indeed!!!
Although I fell outta this in the first round, here's a piece that would've fit nicely in the competition -
"How I (didn't) Ruin Valentine's Day" - http://www.ubersite.com/m/98506
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-02-07 12:04:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've yet to write anything romantic for this comp. And I don't think I will.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-02-07 11:56:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-07 11:56:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*blushes*
Good round, guys. Wish I'd saved that piece now..
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-07 11:39:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-07 11:28:48 (#)
Ranking: -2
PS. Who is Shlongy matched up against?
---
You should be used to not having a partner. You're welcome to play with and by yourself.
Just no pictures, if'n you please. Leave those to shinglesemen.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-02-07 11:39:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I AM TEH BEST FAILURE EVAR!!!
+2 fer mee!!!
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-02-07 11:38:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-02-07 11:27:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
I will sort out some story of romance; somehow.
_____
Surely you can find a tiny bit of romance in your life. I wont accept any excuse for not being entertained
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-07 11:38:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-02-07 11:29:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
wait i didn't win.
---
[Comment about how the highest rated loser advanced to round out the 7 winners to 8]
That'd be you, deeps.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-02-07 11:29:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wait i didn't win.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-07 11:28:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This fucking thing is STILL GOING ON?
March Madness doesn't last this long...and is 400,000,000 times more interesting.
PS. Who is Shlongy matched up against?
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-02-07 11:27:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-02-07 11:25:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn I'm still in this? I really blew my load on the Thai Ladyboy you know.
--
Um that came out wrong. I meant that I blew my load over the story.
Shit this isn't working.
Damn it. I am suffering a black out at home at the moment that is interupting my 'Self Play' time so it's affecting what little brain I have.
I will sort out some story of romance; somehow.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-02-07 11:25:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn I'm still in this? I really blew my load on the Thai Ladyboy you know.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-07 11:24:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit on a shingles these hurt.