OK, Uber, who's up for a game of Mornington Crescent? (1002 hits)
Category: SportsRating: 0.45 on 61 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by spedmonkey <spedmonkey.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2007-02-07 16:31:42 EST
Here's a brief recap of the rules as a reminder:
* Boxing out the F, J, O and W placings draws the partner into an elliptical progression north to south
* In weak positional play, it is vital to consolidate an already strong outer square, e.g., Pentonville Road
* In a straight rules game, it's inadmissible to transfer inversely, which is otherwise a powerful tactic
* Opening the triangle will block any of the three possible reverse draws and is usually played early in the game (before the Central Line has been quartered) so that the risk of a diagonal move is negligible, as is the possibility of quartering
* The lateral shift decisively breaks opponents' horizontal and vertical approaches.
* The A40 northbound used as a counter-play offers rear access to suburban bidding
This is just a friendly game, so tournament rules don't apply. THAT MEANS NO DYNAMIC HUXLEY TRANSFERS. Also, keep in mind that the Greene corollary doesn't apply here.
OK. I'll open at Moor Park.
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-02-20 17:08:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/comedy/comedycabaret.shtml
People of uber
go here
scroll down to Just A Minute
listen.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2007-02-09 18:55:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, yes. But I'm banking on the fact that you're completely out of position for a maneuver like that.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-02-09 11:19:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
A lateral hitch off Blackfriars to Euston, I havent seen one of those since the '93 final in Warsaw when Anderson played it against Tatarnikov to force a reverse be-diagonal match point event.
Of course Tatarnikov managed to counter with a clever Cleopatra's Needle card placed in combination with an inverted Camberwell and went on to win the game on penalties.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2007-02-09 10:29:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh crap, I forgot about this game... had several others to attend to, dontcha know. Uh... OK. First of all:
"I'm playing the congestion charge card All conditions are reversed and other players are required to use bus lanes until all Gatsos are in play."
Rule 3, Sub. 42, Para. 9 clearly states that a congestion card cannot be played when the Paddington Trifecta is in effect, so you're going to have to receive a Hughes penalty, and miss a turn. Look, if you're going to keep making rookie mistakes like that, maybe you'd better leave this game to the pros, eh?
Anyway, I think Matt broke Dollis Hill, so I'll take the lateral hitch off Blackfriars, all the way to Euston. Dry all the way.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-08 20:37:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-02-08 16:56:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm playing the congestion charge card All conditions are reversed and other players are required to use bus lanes until all Gatsos are in play.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-02-08 16:11:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, I was about to have Mornington Crescent in three moves, but you guys just had to fuck that up.....
Fine then, since Hedgwick Town consists of both Paddington Street and Paddington Avenue, and since Spedmonkey only owns Paddington Square, I'm invoking the Paddington Trifecta Gang War (as seen in Regibald vs Francis in 84). Since I own two out of the three Paddington properties, I'll use the Interpolation Severence Rule so that Paddington Square will be mine in two.
My ownership of Mornington Crescent will have to be put on hold at the moment, but I can guarantee I won't be quite as careless next time.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-02-08 12:02:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
So the Dollis Hill loop is in effect and Im in spoon. Well I'll play the Useless Polish Worker card to block Spedmonkeys Road to Wembly effect.
Since thats a reverse negative effect card now in play the Dollis Hill Loop is frozen, allowing me to put into action Henderson's Migration rule using the Portobello card (In transverse to the London eye card of course, to make it a legal move)
Now I know what you're all thinking: "Does TTOM have "What the fack are you lookin' at you fackin' slag?!" full card flush?!"
*smiles like a weasel*
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-08 08:24:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Nothing...just two guys engaging in foreplay before they buttfuck each other.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-02-08 08:15:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
what the fuck is going on?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-02-08 06:52:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
thats therapists you bonehead.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-02-08 06:46:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-02-08 06:38:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Fenchurch Station for $400 alex.
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The Rapists for $200 Trebeck
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-02-08 06:38:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fenchurch Station for $400 alex.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-02-08 02:45:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Three moves not spaces, and you're being awfully presumptious.
Rosemont way. There we go. That's put cancelled the loop and set me up nicely for a run around outer london doing a counter clockwise arc.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-02-07 21:37:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SNAP!!
I'll consolidate the value of all of my current properties and lay it all down on Hedgwick Town, which allows me to use the Fulmore Effect to get myself out of Spoon, and use a Sequential Inversion!! Remember Smith vs Smith in 86? That's right bitches. Legal, AND friendly.
Mornington Crescent in 3.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2007-02-07 21:37:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh... time for me to pass out. I request a stay on my action, although you all are welcome to continue the game without me. Just keep in mind, the DH loop is complete, Matt's in spoon right now, and one more juxtaposition of bridges makes it a reverse parallel points game.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2007-02-07 21:28:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Friendly game, Matt, so yes it's a legal move. Remember though, under Parkly's 1978 tourney rules that's not only illegal but a misconduct.
Anyway, I'll take a bender to Wembley to continue the loop. Your move.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-02-07 21:24:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to admit this is pretty funny. Would I think it was less so or more so if I had any idea what the hell it's all about?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-02-07 21:24:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Regal Boulevard is available to players in spoon, correct?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-02-07 21:23:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm stuck in the Dollis Loop, correct?
I'll stop at the Regal Boulevard. That'll buy me a little time.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2007-02-07 21:15:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You still have yet to make a move. If no one takes a turn within 15 minutes I get to go again, remember.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-02-07 21:05:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll admit, I didn't see the half switchback to Warwick Ave coming...... such a simple move too. A fine move indeed, good sir.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2007-02-07 21:03:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uhhh... not here. I'll email it to you. Anyway, since we validated your move, the Dollis Hill loop is in effect now, after the half switchback overland to Warwick Avenue. Congrats, both you and TTOM are in spoon now.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:59:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll send you a copy, but I'm in too good a position right now to compromise that by telling you about some of the new rules and strategies.
What's your address?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:58:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The nebulator shaft points UP, not down, dipshits.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:56:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah... interesting. Any new changes I should know about?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:56:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Clearly a game of such skill is beyond your understanding, Shlongy. The Dollis Hill Loop isn't in effect yet, so you can jump in if you want.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:54:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
When you're through with this "game", maybe you guys can play a quick round of "hide the salami".
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:53:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I must be dyslexic then. The 27th edition is out of print. The new 28th (not 82nd) edition is available now. You might not have gotten it yet. Sorry about the confusion.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:50:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Guess what? Only goes up to 27 editions. Liar. You take the penalty.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:49:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Maybe you two mos should "get a room".
Just a suggestion...
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:49:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't doubt me again. I read that bastard from cover to cover.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:48:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Chapter 14, section 34, paragraph 5:
"Meegles can be accumulated throughout, simply aiding in the speed and frequency one may travel through the various loops, including the Dollis Hill Loop. Various spaces offer different rates of Meegle Interest. Ownership of these spaces compound the effects."
Chapter 22, section 76, paragraph 2:
"Popple-Plays can be invoked when one player takes control of Dollis Hill. Players working in junction with the owner of Dollis Hill BEFORE THE DOLLIS HILL LOOP IS IN PLAY can invoke a Popple-Play thereby doubling the effects of the Dollis Hill Loop for opposing players, and halving the effects on themselves."
"The Little Book of Mornington Crescent: 82nd Edition"
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:37:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Quote me the section and paragraph. Also which edition you're using.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:32:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No I'm not. "Meegles Interest" and "Popple-Plays" are both briefly mention in "The Little Book of Mornington Crescent" by Tim, Graeme, Barry and Humph.
DUR!
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:26:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Matt? WTF are you talking about? You're just making things up now. Either get serious, or I'll have to invoke a Townshend penalty of -3 on you.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:23:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And, TTOM, I see you're a real veteran. Watch out though... you're pretty close to being in spoon.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:23:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I left Dollis Hill open because the 17% Meegles interest doesn't accumulate quickly enough on that single space alone. Clearly my previous move sets me up nicely in the long run. Call it a matter of preference, but I think your move is foolhardy at best.
I'm moving over to Newton Park. I'm immune to any Popple-Plays now.
Booya.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2007-02-07 20:17:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Matt, Matt, Matt...
You let me do it to you. I'm taking Dollis Hill, and if you don't know what's coming next, you should be ashamed to call yourself an MC player.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-02-07 19:43:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You've all played right into my hands. I'm now in position for a bilateral shuffle (as seen in the Worthington vs. Elkins match in 1997), which nets me Ellington Square, Theodore Mansion, Samuel Shale's Tavern, and the Magic Fig Vineyard.
You guys are terrible.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-07 19:39:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Forgive my ignorance, but is this a real game?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-07 19:21:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Move the Rook to Q4.
And then stick the Pawn up your sphincter.
Submitted by Snare (user info) at 2007-02-07 19:19:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:31:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snare (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:24:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
I bid Hammersmith, Acton Town, Gunnersbury triangle.
and with Earl's Court tube station inverted, that gives me misere on the City mile unless countered in two moves...
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Tricky. But, because you're declaring both Hammersmith and Gunnersbury, you've made the game into a parallel points match, thus leaving the inversion of Earl's Court moot. Don't believe me? The ruling on this was clearly made in Hammingsly v. Fredrick, 1993.
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But, hang on, it TTOM's inverted Camden Town, that means the upper houses are in fixed juxtaposition, which leaves me holding...
fuck....
Milton Keynes.
I'm screwed.
Anyone see how I can play out of this one?
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-02-07 18:33:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*stares*
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-02-07 18:21:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
hmmmmm, this is a tricky situation, very tricky but...*looks at hand* I'll play a double lateral sweep (The Kadinsky manuever) and place Knightsbridge with an inverse Camden Town.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-07 18:15:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:00:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
You dumb limy's can't even play your own game. I'll go to Elephant and Castle.
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FUCK!
That was MY move - now I'm screwed
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:42:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate you all.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:42:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
mornington crescent...im second.
yippee!
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:31:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snare (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:24:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
I bid Hammersmith, Acton Town, Gunnersbury triangle.
and with Earl's Court tube station inverted, that gives me misere on the City mile unless countered in two moves...
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Tricky. But, because you're declaring both Hammersmith and Gunnersbury, you've made the game into a parallel points match, thus leaving the inversion of Earl's Court moot. Don't believe me? The ruling on this was clearly made in Hammingsly v. Fredrick, 1993.
Submitted by Snare (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:24:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I bid Hammersmith, Acton Town, Gunnersbury triangle.
and with Earl's Court tube station inverted, that gives me misere on the City mile unless countered in two moves...
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:14:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ill trade you losers mayfair and park lane for teh dark green ones. ill even throw in a get out of gaol free card.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:06:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Elephant and Castle? Fine. I see how it is. I'll just have to take Paddington then, with a double Huxley maneuver to Charing Cross.
Dollis Hill in three.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-02-07 17:00:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You dumb limy's can't even play your own game. I'll go to Elephant and Castle.
Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:59:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Vauxhall? Now that sir is a move with some balls. What about the Covent garden contingency? It's like the Sicillian defence in chess man.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:54:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:47:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
As it's just for fun - an easy move to start; Columbia Road.
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Not a bad opening. I'll go to Vauxhall, just for fun.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:51:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Brick Road.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:47:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
As it's just for fun - an easy move to start; Columbia Road.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:46:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
bealtea, that was clearly ruled illegal in a 1995 match. Try again.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:44:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:43:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
MORNINGTON CRESCENT
I win
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-07 16:33:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
uuuuuh
exqueeze me? baking powder?