Today is my 1st Uberversary, and this is my 100th Post (Contains Daily Allotment of Camwhore) (1211 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.26 on 81 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by goferforhire <goferforhire.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2007-02-08 10:30:18 EST
Congratulations to me are in order from me. I don't expect the rest of you fucks to care whether I live or die.
On this day of momentous awesomeness in my life, also momentously awesome because my good friend is turning 21 tonight and we are celebrating with the typical drunken revelry, complete with burning wiffleball, burning soccer and naked full-field, full-contact yahtzee, um... where was I? Right, on this momentous occasion of today, I figured it would be an awesome gift for me to give to myself to make myself a tribute post. Or maybe, more accurately a reference post, so if I ever feel the need to see how awesome I am, I can just come here and remember.
I have done a lot for this place, and by this place I mean me.
I made myself laugh by recounting these anecdotes I personally experienced and found to be hilarious to myself in a more humorous and exaggerated manner! God, I laughed for hours at how funny I was in those instances.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88471 - Oh those Jewish people say the darndest things, don't they Chris? Yes, Chris, you're right.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84553 - Oh boy was this embarassing! I thought I'd never recover! It's ok me, I did.
Then there were all of the stories I wrote for my own viewing pleasure, so that I could really understand how talented a writer I am.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96649 - I scared the crap out of me with this one.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92040 - And this made me wistful and sad for myself.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92040 - I thought this was damn pretty
Oh, and I remember all those times I read my contest entries and thought- well I'm damn glad he competed.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98126 - That was like a week ago! And it's still good!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91450 - This "wasn't a contest" so I guess that means I won.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91033 - Remember when this was funny? Oh wait that's all the time.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96741 - I cried myself to sleep after I read this. 90% of you will think I'm not joking.
I've also impressed myself with my insight into religion with http://www.ubersite.com/m/92429 and to a lesser extent http://www.ubersite.com/m/95560 , and marveled at my ability to be ahead of my time with http://www.ubersite.com/m/93155 , sticking it to the superfriends before that was the cool thing to do.
Basically, I rock- you can see all the proof here at http://www.ubersite.com/u/goferforhire . Still don't believe me? I don't give a shit! I'll be laughing all the way home to look at myself in the mirror and be glad I'm me. In other news, this website is utter trash and your opinions of me hold all the weight of a bag of feathers. If you think it's going down the shitter, stop reading the shit and read stuff like me. I'm awesome. So are Stagger Lee, Orgasmotron, Sacrilicious, Shlongy- yeah I said it, I think he's awesome, Kaos-King, Jack (when he's doing fiction), Locksly, Axolotl, Method, Coley, Rofl and a bunch of other people that if you actually read you're just reading because you want to be their friends. Get out more. If you think Maltese is a shit, ignore him and read something entertaining. Like me. I'm awesome. End of story.
User Reviews
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-02-10 03:08:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Happy Uberversary you sorry sack of shit.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2007-02-10 00:11:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
holy shit you look evil/creepy
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2007-02-09 03:11:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You hood's a bit askew, it's doing my head in.
+2 because my 3 year passed by unnoticed. (By me)
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-02-09 02:39:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I got a happy ending but I don't think it came from you. You're not a college student
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-02-09 01:25:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking hell, I didn't think I would have a pube comment DIRECTLY AFTER someone else. We're such pervs.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-02-09 01:25:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, you have another man's pubes on your chin.
Just thought you should know.
Submitted by Snare (user info) at 2007-02-09 00:33:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Chin pubes.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-02-08 22:52:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-02-08 13:41:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-02-08 12:14:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
oh yeah and fuck you for not adding me to you list.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-02-08 21:27:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice uni
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-08 21:18:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
liar you liek me more than that soccer loving nick cave listening no camwhoring serious writers forum aussie punk and we both know it. All 3 as a matter of fact.
I forgot your recipe for that Christmas drink but I had something chocoboozey anyway so um if you want I can get you a happy ending for your Uberversary or whatever, on me. Oh and by on me i mean by me. cool? cool.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-02-08 21:13:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot to mention... That I am the best EVER AT EVERYTHIN OMG!!!
Submitted by emmakwon (user info) at 2007-02-08 20:50:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-08 20:39:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Serious delusion below.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-02-08 19:52:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I put stagger on the list because he is consistently awesome in every aspect of this site- writing, reviewing, and general soulness. I love the rest of you, but you've all got strengths and weaknesses. He's just, well, perfect.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-02-08 18:30:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's also my 19th birthday at the end of this month... wouldn't it have been something if they'd all occurred on the same shit-stompingly awesome day? Oh wait, they can't. My birthday's on the 29th, therefore it doesn't exist.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-02-08 18:18:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats then.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-08 17:46:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Top of the muthafuckin list, bitches.
Top. Of. The. List.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-08 16:36:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Y HALO THAR DWARFO
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2007-02-08 16:30:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My only complaint is you fucks can never spell my name right when I'm mentioned.
Thanks though. This made me realize I missed my 1-year-tribute post.
Hmmm.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-02-08 16:27:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm on most heated? This is proof of my awesomeness.
Submitted by Mr_T (user info) at 2007-02-08 16:07:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
T appreciates that.
stay in school, don't do drugs.
you alright kid, you alright.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-02-08 15:53:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
let's just say if she'd kept the camera on, it would have been a little nsfw
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2007-02-08 15:44:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-02-08 15:23:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
This is completely uncropped. What you don't see is the horrific things I'm about to do to the cameraperson.
------------
was rape involved?
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-02-08 15:37:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
okay.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-02-08 15:27:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Mr T, I always liked you better than Chuck Norris. And Rambo. And Rocky. Fuck all those fools who doubt you.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-02-08 15:23:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
They were delicious
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-02-08 15:23:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is completely uncropped. What you don't see is the horrific things I'm about to do to the cameraperson.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-02-08 15:22:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
COngrats
Submitted by Mr_T (user info) at 2007-02-08 15:13:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
T likes you, boy
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-02-08 15:13:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-08 14:24:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like to think that in the uncropped version of this pic you are holding a bloody knife in one hand and a freshly retrieved organ in the other.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-02-08 14:12:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Congratulations. You really do look like a demented elf.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2007-02-08 14:11:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hmmmmm, i forgot my camwhore
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-02-08 13:42:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Scourge is a Golden God
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-02-08 13:42:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Any list that I make would only disgrace the name of a man like Scourge. True story.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-02-08 13:41:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-02-08 12:14:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
oh yeah and fuck you for not adding me to you list.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-02-08 13:39:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've got some red balloons for you all in my basement
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-08 13:36:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FROSTED LUCKY CHARMS...THEY'RE MAGICALLY DELICIOUS
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-02-08 13:33:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:50:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
----
How long did you spend spacing this exactly for a 1280x screen resolution?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-02-08 13:31:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yep...
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2007-02-08 13:08:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you remind me of a friendly, little leprachaun.
WHERE'S THE POT 'O GOLD???
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2007-02-08 12:58:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't possibly do less than a +2 here.
Classic self-deprecation, by way of an extreme claim of self-importance.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-08 12:56:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But you see having "matron" at the end suggest something feminine, which plays into the original concept of my having Menz and Wimmenz Bits.
I do appreciate how "motron" suggests something a bit more mechanical, though.
It doesn't much matter anyway, as all the cult's faithful know the real name's Orgasmatoad.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-08 12:49:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-02-08 12:25:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
And Orgasmabot, I think the extra o suits you.
===
Like he should ever complain about an extra O.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-02-08 12:36:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
kick ass.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-02-08 12:25:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
User id: 25152
Registered on or around: 2006-02-08 20:10:41
# Messages posted: 100
# Reviews written: 1829
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 1680
# Hits: 48412
Average rating of all messages: 1.02
-------
For all those who doubted.
In other news, apologies for all the omissions. If I made a comprehensive list of the people who have entertained me, it would be overwhelming and frightening. This was very much off-the cuff. And Orgasmabot, I think the extra o suits you.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-08 12:16:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Now that I read this post more carefully, I have some guilt.
BUT NOT ENOUGH GUILT FOR A + RATING!
Good luck on your journey through puberty, buddy.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-02-08 12:14:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh yeah and fuck you for not adding me to you list.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-08 12:10:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh my Goodness...
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-02-08 12:09:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, did you say I'm awesome; or did you say people only read my stuff because they want to be my friend? Either way, you got it.
Needs more hippie drumming.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-08 12:08:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
all uberversary posts receive the same rating from me
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-02-08 12:01:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:54:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
did you know unibrows were a sign of being a werewolf?
i like your writing. here's a +2 for whooping my ass.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:51:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:25:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't get a haircut. Girls like long hair.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:41:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Like me."
-----
ok I will
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:35:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no idea who you are. I am neglecting uber. Stupid baby.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:33:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:09:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Noted, scurge.
--
hahaha
the official misspelling is 'scourage' a'la loki and JonnyX
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:30:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You look 12.
Nice dorm though.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:25:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't get a haircut. Girls like long hair.
Submitted by laika (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:21:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I think your "100 posts in a year" is becoming far less typical around here.
I also joined a year ago, but I still havent made a real post yet.
I think the majority who stumble upon Ubersite never post, and then lose interest and leave entirely.
I still stick around and read sometimes for whatever reason.
Good luck on the next 100 I guess.
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:19:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:10:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Did you practice that evil/mysterious look in the mirror?
Get a haircut.
Still.....nice stuff.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:09:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Noted, scurge.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:04:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't make the list.
:'(
Submitted by scum101 (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:04:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you have that virginal look
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:04:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i think orgasmotron is a beter spelling of it anyway.
here on out, that is the official spelling. or at least until i forget.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:00:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i like you
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-02-08 11:00:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
oops...meant to -2 this.
don't take it personally, i -2 all anniversay posts.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:59:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
IT'S A GOBELIN!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:58:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+4 I had that same closet setup in college
+14 uberversary
+25 100th post
-41 spelled my name wrong
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:58:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:46:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:36:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 goferforhire
+2 uberversary
+2 100th post
+2 Impeccable timing with uberversary:100th post coinciding
+2 Sarcastic gofer..LOVE this guy
+2 me
+2 Drogoroch (so he can be on a list even though his obviously inferior piece beat mine in UM)
--
Thanks Scourge. I can't believe you still remember that UM thing; it feels like it happened about 10 years ago.
Submitted by Manitou (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:53:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've never liked your little faggot ass but with all the significance in this post I feel compelled to +2.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:50:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:46:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:36:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 goferforhire
+2 uberversary
+2 100th post
+2 Impeccable timing with uberversary:100th post coinciding
+2 Sarcastic gofer..LOVE this guy
+2 me
+2 Drogoroch (so he can be on a list even though his obviously inferior piece beat mine in UM)
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:43:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So easy, even a caveman could do it!
nah just kidding I love you
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:40:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Shaggy camwhore
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:40:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:37:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
I swear this is my 100th post. Count if you like. It said 99 after my last Ubertines thing. I totally would have made another useless filler post if I needed to make one.
--
Okay as It's you I will believe you.
Christ I never make any lists around this shit hole. I'm going to come up with my own list some day and no one will be on it but me.
The sad thing is that no fucker will look at it either.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:37:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I swear this is my 100th post. Count if you like. It said 99 after my last Ubertines thing. I totally would have made another useless filler post if I needed to make one.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:36:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 goferforhire
+2 uberversary
+2 100th post
+2 Impeccable timing with uberversary:100th post coinciding
+2 Sarcastic gofer..LOVE this guy
+2 me
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:35:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
are you a neanderthal or do you have down's?
+2 because you have some nice writing.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-02-08 10:35:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're going down in Ubertines; no you really are I have written a whole passage where you munch on a blokes member, hope you don't mind.
A strange thing happened when I looked at your user info and it said # Messages posted: 99
Happy waste of a year day!!!