SHlT POST THURSDAY (1053 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: crap
Rating: 1.26 on 44 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by random user, it doesn't really matter who, now does it? (View user info) at 2007-02-08 17:17:51 EST
I logged into Uber today, as I do every day, and strolled about...
Looking here, looking there...
Flamewars, trolls, alter accusations, people moaning and groaning about every piece of bullshit under the sun. Table pounding rage, thundering assertions of one's own rightness and righteousness...
I have engaged in that type of behaviour myself on this site.
But no more.
I had an epiphany this morning.
You all shit.
That's not a typo.
No, it's not that you're all shit. Because that certainly isn't true.
YOU ALL SHIT.
I see people here respond so defensively,
I see people here shouting their opinions,
I see people working themselves into a holy righteous hellfire fury,
And all I can think about is that you all just walk into your cold floored bathrooms in the morning, squint at your less than perfect morning faces, yawn a hearty yawn of devastating morning breath, drop trou, and pinch a massive loaf.
Just like me.
We all strain and move and push to get everything out here.
And it all smells like shit.
I feel better after getting this out, just like that plopper this morning.
Huh.
How about that?
User Reviews
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-05-18 12:49:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-04-20 17:37:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
POOP!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-04-20 17:28:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i really laughed at myself when i wrote this.
god damn...i'm such a simpleton.
Submitted by Liuzzo (user info) at 2007-02-16 18:10:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-02-02 19:46:01 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-02-02 19:45:19 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-02-02 19:35:51 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2006-12-18 21:58:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-25 08:03:03 (#)
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Submitted by Speckles (user info) at 2006-10-24 20:50:30 (#)
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Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2006-10-24 20:33:12 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-24 20:17:27 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-13 21:52:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by IllyriaBlueEyes (user info) at 2006-09-13 03:25:16 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-13 02:45:27 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-09-13 02:11:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Defect (user info) at 2006-09-10 21:02:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ArcEld (user info) at 2006-08-26 15:23:00 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-26 14:58:02 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-08-22 01:04:59 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-08-14 04:27:16 (#)
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Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-08-14 03:44:23 (#)
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Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-14 03:37:07 (#)
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Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-08-14 03:27:51 (#)
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Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-14 03:19:57 (#)
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Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-08-14 02:05:00 (#)
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Submitted by fluffy_love (user info) at 2006-08-14 01:44:56 (#)
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Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-08-10 02:41:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-09 21:30:48 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by DirtyDoubleEntendre (user info) at 2006-08-09 21:25:18 (#)
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Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-08-09 21:14:48 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-07-08 12:26:27 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Satanica (user info) at 2006-01-09 14:14:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-01-07 18:24:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2006-01-07 18:15:28 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2005-12-23 01:35:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-12-23 01:22:17 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-12-20 16:42:09 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by B-Nizzo (user info) at 2005-12-09 18:45:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by randomhero83 (user info) at 2005-12-07 10:50:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Call911 (user info) at 2005-12-07 10:47:00 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-12-07 10:46:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-07 10:42:08 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2005-12-07 10:39:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-11-22 19:51:18 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by sizzlemctwizzle (user info) at 2005-11-22 19:46:48 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-11-22 19:26:32 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-11-09 15:51:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-11-09 13:13:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-11-06 19:50:05 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ama (user info) at 2005-11-06 19:31:15 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2005-10-29 19:01:05 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-10-29 18:41:41 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-10-29 18:33:32 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2005-10-29 08:55:24 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-29 06:09:59 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2005-10-29 06:09:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-10-29 06:06:14 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-29 00:41:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-10-28 23:00:29 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-10-28 21:11:16 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-28 20:31:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-10-28 20:26:40 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-10-28 19:44:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-10-28 19:37:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Kindred (user info) at 2005-10-28 19:26:22 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-10-28 18:42:56 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-10-28 18:14:20 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-10-28 18:11:24 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2005-10-28 18:09:00 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2005-10-28 18:06:01 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-10-28 18:04:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-10-28 18:03:18 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-10-28 18:02:09 (#)
Ranking: -2
I fucked your mom in the ass, got AIDS and died.
________________________________________________
I particularly enjoyed the colloquial, "in the ass". Although "da" would have been a better fit than "the"...so to speak.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-02-14 13:49:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dunno if you have stopped by yet...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98644
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-02-10 04:56:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Snarky Snarkman drunken birthday auto +2.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-10 00:17:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you ever wanted to know about scourge
User id: 22588
Registered on or around: 2005-10-13 13:07:57
# Messages posted: 89
# Reviews written: 7169
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 4168
# Hits: 100404
Average rating of all messages: 1.4
===
100K HITS WOO
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-09 23:54:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nah, he's just got the Outkast bug.
Sorry Matt Scourgeson OOH
I AM FOR REAAAAAAL
p.s.- I'm mailing you explosives in the morning. Enjoy.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-02-09 23:13:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-02-09 20:50:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
I know you lke to thank that yo shit don't ctank but lean a little closer see that roses really smell like OH OH OOOOH!
---
are you drunk?
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-02-09 20:50:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I know you lke to thank that yo shit don't ctank but lean a little closer see that roses really smell like OH OH OOOOH!
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-02-09 20:32:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My sister just sent me the Orson Welles version of "Othello." I love my sister. And I just opened my first beer of the weekend. +2 for all.
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2007-02-09 16:33:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-02-09 04:51:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
EVEROBODY POOPS
=======
..And then there's the Catholicized version: "That's Pure Evil Coming Out The Back of You"
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-02-09 04:51:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
EVEROBODY POOPS
Submitted by scum101 (user info) at 2007-02-09 04:37:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-02-09 03:16:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
on a laptop.
Pooping right now.
+2
Yay.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-02-09 02:46:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not in the habit of morning poos any more :(
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-08 23:28:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-02-08 18:40:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Marry me.
---
But...but I have a copy of Gunslinger Born #1.
After all we've been through...
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-02-08 23:20:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-08 17:20:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 I knew who this was before I clicked on it.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-02-08 22:11:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-02-08 22:03:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Girls don't poop.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-08 21:38:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
OH EM JEE
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-08 21:12:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hi shitpost thursday I'm sorry i couldn't do you today but I still love you bunches. Well, lust, really.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2007-02-08 21:10:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I usually wait for the oatmeal and coffee to settle in, actually - that way my roommate wakes up just in time to get a fresh whiff.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-02-08 20:55:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I poop.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-02-08 19:09:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2007-02-08 18:54:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoy vewy mooch.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-02-08 18:47:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But there is no way of knowing who posted this Anansie. See, it says 'random user'. It could even be Method or apollo.
Be careful, you could wind up marrying Method.
*shudders*
...So so greasy...
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-02-08 18:40:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Marry me.
Submitted by sweetcheebs (user info) at 2007-02-08 18:39:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
so true, so true
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-08 18:05:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i designate you Official Dirty Sanchez Inspector!
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2007-02-08 18:02:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-02-08 17:25:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
People actually shit in the mornings? How is that even possible?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-08 17:51:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-02-08 17:25:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
People actually shit in the mornings? How is that even possible?
---
Oh it's fantastic. There was a stretch of about three months when I'd go every morning as soon as I got to work. My body just knew it was that special time, and I would get my AM BM out of the way by 9:46. It was glorious. I refer to that time as "The Steady Drum, It Bangs a Beat For the Dead of Gastrointestinal Vietnam."
Lately I've been hitting the pot around 8AM. Steady. Fruitful. And in the distance, I can hear the faint, low hollar of a drum...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-08 17:41:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, I see you're back to sucking ass. That didn't take long.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-02-08 17:39:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Noone flushes around here.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-02-08 17:32:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
amen
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-02-08 17:31:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
To you who've writ these lines of wit, eat those little balls of shit.
Jackass.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-02-08 17:25:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
People actually shit in the mornings? How is that even possible?
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-02-08 17:23:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This made me have to poop.
I wish i was kidding.
...back in a jiffy.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-02-08 17:22:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-08 17:19:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm taking uber back.
---
So is this mystery user apparently.
Bravo, whoever you are! Bravo!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-08 17:20:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA RAAA
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-02-08 17:20:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet you like it when someone shits in your mouth, you dirty, HIV riddled homosaurus rex.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-08 17:20:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 I knew who this was before I clicked on it.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-02-08 17:19:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Gross
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-08 17:19:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm taking uber back.