Timber!! (350 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -1 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Pumper of Tarts (View user info) at 2007-02-12 10:14:22 EST
Yeh yeh one post a day.
I sent this email to a friend around 4 years ago and he just sent it me back and I thought you guys might like to read...I have not edited it so there may be bits that go over your head....
I swear on my mothers life this story is true as well.
>
>U know the pub where this event occurred, the Fox and Lion in Leyland.
Rob
>went to meet a fit blonde bird one night and so me, Gaz and Wilky went
with
>him for a bit of support. It was the same bird that Paul Jones spilt
the
>pint on (not sure if I told u about that but that's another story!) As
soon
>as we walked in I could tell it was the easiest place to pull behind
Tokyo
>Joes. There was fat slag's, blonde slag's, fit slags, turbo slags,
slags
>you
>just tell took it up the tighter of their two holes
> I was already pissed as fuck because me and Wilky had gone out
early
>to
>get wasted so I was in a funny mood after a skunk spliff. We were
playing
>pool and I had a T-shirt on with a big slogan on of a bar in Kavos
called
>'The London' and we were all laughing at a guy with learning
difficulties
>in
>the corner, when a really fat girl came over. She was fat, not chubby
or
>big
>boned, FAT. Her eyes were chinked because of the size of her cheeks
and her
>thighs rubbed together when she walked.
Remember, Im in Leyland and Im quite pissed...
>She said 'I like your T-shirt can I have it? I said 'Give me £20 and
its
>yours'.
U can probably guess whats going to happen next.
>'I will give you a sexual favour' she said. 'Come on then' I said,
never
>being one to look a fat gift-horse in the mouth 'Lets go!'
>She followed me out the pub and said 'drop your pants' I did and
shoved my
>massive cock in her mouth and basically fucked her skull. She kept
gagging
>coz I kept ramming my HUGE cock right down her throat but you cud tell
she
>was enjoying it. I was so pissed and she was so fat I just couldn't
come at
>all so I starting to wank just to get it over with, to no avail. So
she
>started to take all her clothes off, I think she thought she was fit
or
>something. Anyway she got down to her underwear and her tits were
FUCKIN
>MASSIVE and quite nice as far as big fat tits go so she started giving me a tit wank which was
>getting better.
>I was getting closer and closer to the yogurt when all of a sudden I
heard
>Rob and Gaz shouting ' Bell Bell, where are u??' but I was so close to
>unleashing a slimy mess on her face I couldn't stop. They carried on
>shouting for a bit and I was thinking 'Im gonna cum any second..' Next
>thing
>I heard Robs engine and his car reversing. I started to panic when all
of a
>sudden, 'Boom splat' right in her eye. What a shot! She twitched and
said
>Ow, it went in my eye, when I got her! I was rockin. Quickly, knowing
Rob
>was just about to drive off the car park I quickly pushed the semi
blinded,
>almost naked fat girl over, pulled my pants up and legged it laughing
my
>tits off! When I turned round she was still falling and rolling:
>A) because she was fat
>B) because she had my jizz in her eye
>C) She was stunned by the shove that definitely caught her off
balance.
>
>As I ran out the hedge and after Robs car I could her her shouting
'Come
>back you bastard!' but being blinded and fatter than Gaz's dad she had
no
>chance of catching me!
> To finish off, I caught up with Rob leaving the car park and, like
you
>see
>in a film I opened the door and jumped in the moving car. What a
getaway!
>Very funny!
>
>Loads of shit like this happens but I can never remember it, I just
thought
>u would like to hear about this one coz I thought it was extremely
funny!
>
>Jamie 'I fuck anything that walks' Bell
>
>PS: Always push fat girls over, its cruel but funny.
User Reviews
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-02-13 16:59:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-02-13 16:55:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-13 16:34:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
large and in charge
Submitted by JDL (user info) at 2007-02-12 11:24:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-02-12 11:21:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Right. And that viagra spam I got the other day TOTALLY happened to my friend's cousin's boyfriend's dog. If you're going to post some crap forward, at least learn how to format, you dumb fuck.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-02-12 11:20:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
fo'mizzle
fo'shizzle
pizzle
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-12 10:44:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I've seen better (-1)
Submitted by mynameisandy (user info) at 2007-02-12 10:42:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It seems you think we have more time on our hands than you do. Thanks for not fromatting it for us.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-02-12 10:40:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You can probably learn a bit from this one: http://www.ubersite.com/u/JoeyG
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-02-12 10:39:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If it had been a well-written story the formatting would have been forgivable.
Submitted by tartpumper (user info) at 2007-02-12 10:36:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2007-02-12 10:35:18 (#)
Ranking: 1
This reads like a 15 year-old's fantasy. But what the hell, I laughed.
-=============================
I was 17 when I wrote this.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2007-02-12 10:35:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This reads like a 15 year-old's fantasy. But what the hell, I laughed.
Submitted by tartpumper (user info) at 2007-02-12 10:32:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scum101 (user info) at 2007-02-12 10:21:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
and then
>i fucked some nigger
>up his ass without
any protection and
>got aids
---------
Really?
Submitted by scum101 (user info) at 2007-02-12 10:21:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
and then
>i fucked some nigger
>up his ass without
any protection and
>got aids