Winnie the Poo (1714 hits)
Category: HumorLabels: Written by chuck garlock
Rating: 0.14 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <s0165741.at.mail.niagara.edu> (View user info) at 2007-02-12 18:02:18 EST
Sometimes I'm a very disgruntled person. To express my anger, I often choose easy targets, such as Winnie the Pooh. I fucking hate that show and all of its characters. The one I hate the most is Eeyore.
Eeyore is a fucking waste of life. What the fuck is wrong with this guy? He's always moping around, bringing everyone else down. "Hey, Pooh. I'm sad Pooh. I'm a fucking alcoholic Pooh. Pin my fucking tail on me Pooh!" What a fag. Who the fuck loses their tail? And why the fuck would you want it put back on with a fucking pin in your ass. "Hey, thanks Pooh for sticking it in my ass again." And why the fuck does he need his tail anyways? So it can get in the fucking way every time he takes a shit? Next time you lose your tail, fucking leave it. You don't need that shit, dumbass. You're not even a fucking donkey, you're a mule, so stop pretending to be a fucking donkey. O, I guess I understand why he's so depressed now. Mule's can't reproduce so that stupid fuck can't even get laid. His tail is pinned to his ass, he's an alcoholic, his parents are dead, that asshole Tigger keeps knocking his fucking house over, he sucks at life, and he can't get laid. He might as well use his tail to hang himself from Pooh's tree, because that's all that tail is good for. O, and his name fucking sucks.
Almost as bad as Eeyore is Piglet. He should just change his name to "I'm a fucking pussy." What a whiny fucking baby. What's his problem? He's a fucking pig, they're not supposed to be pussies. They're supposed to eat their own shit and roll around in their own feces. Now that's badass. Piglet is the complete opposite. He's a scrawny little bitch who's afraid of the fucking dark. Are you kidding me? That mother fucker looks more like a little bunny than a bad ass pig. Why the fuck are your ears so long? I'm pretty sure he's gay. Go fuck yourself piglet, you pink piece of fuck.
Piglet's gay lover is none other than Pooh himself. Of course Piglet is the one taking it from Pooh, using honey as a lubricant. Those gay little fucks. His first name is gay enough. Winnie? That's a fucking girls name. Pooh? Yeah, because he likes it in the pooper. Where the fuck did this name come from? If his last name is gonna have something to do with feces then at least name him Winnie the piece of fucking shit. But I guess they had to censor his name for the youngins. What's with his fixation on honey? He searches the woods for it like a crackhead trying to get a fix. You're a fucking bear, go tear something up, besides piglet's asshole. Pooh has got to be the pussiest bear in all the land. Go rub some more honey on your chest while you masturbate to videos of the care bears you gay fuck.
Gopher is one of the most annoying characters, second only to Tigger. He's an ugly mother fucker. And he's always digging holes. Where the fuck are you digging to Gopher? You can't really dig to China ya stupid fuck. What should we name him? Hmmm, let's see. He's a Gopher so we should name himmmm, o, I know, Gopher! Real fucking creative assholes. I hate that mother fucker so much. Why the fuck can't he just stop whistling through his teeth? You know he does it on purpose just to be annoying because he always pauses for the whistles. I hope Pooh finds a tube big enough to stick in his ass and then puts you in that tube you annoying fuck. Good luck digging your way out of his fat ass. You can whistle all you want while you're munching on Pooh's poohole.
Now for Tigger, the most annoying character of all. What a jerk this guy is. He's always jumping around, breaking Eeyore's piece of shit house, and being an asshole. No one is a bigger asshole than Tigger, not even Rabbit. "Bouncing is what Tiggers do best!" Big fucking accomplishment you fucking psycho. Ooooo, I can bounce on my tail, real fucking cool. Being a retard is what Tiggers do best. I'm pretty sure you'd win a lot of metals in the special olympics you fucking tard. Lay off the speed, stop bouncing like a fucking idiot, start acting like a real tiger and go eat piglet. And stop dressing up as the masked offender or whoever the fuck you dress up as. You're just as gay as the rest of them, and I hate you just as much.
The only cool one in this group of fags is Rabbit because he hates them all as much as me. I hate this show and it teaches little kids to act like assholes and fags. How come it's all dudes on the show? No wonder there's so many annoying gay people these days. They watched and enjoyed way too much of Winnie the Pooh and his gay ass friends. Fuck you Winnie the Pooh, fuck you Christopher Robin, fuck you Tigger, fuck you piglet, and most of all, fuck you Eeyore. I hate you all.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-13 16:13:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
bite a fart
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2007-02-13 16:02:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry, winnie the poo is zen brilliance and you are a pile (anything derogatory)
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-02-13 09:28:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2007-02-12 18:29:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
There's nothing wrong with Eeyore, so fuck you
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2007-02-13 08:10:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How come it's all dudes on the show?
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Kanga isn't a dude.
Winnie the Pooh was fine till it was bastardised by Disney.
Boo to them.
Submitted by GMCrayon (user info) at 2007-02-13 00:23:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This deserves much much higher
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-02-13 00:04:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Zackstersmackster (user info) at 2007-02-12 18:54:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
That was fucking hilarious!
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No it fucking wasn't, you moron.
Submitted by DarthFaded (user info) at 2007-02-12 22:22:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't think you wrote this... I recognize this from somewhere else too...
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-02-12 18:57:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I've read this somewhere before.
Submitted by Zackstersmackster (user info) at 2007-02-12 18:54:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was fucking hilarious!
But you seem to have issues. Were you raped by a Tigger/Pooh/Eeyore impersonator at some time?
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-02-12 18:40:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2007-02-12 18:29:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There's nothing wrong with Eeyore, so fuck you
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-02-12 18:26:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything you ever wanted to know about chuckdoggydogg
User id: 30175
Registered on or around: 2007-02-11 23:50:18
# Messages posted: 1
# Reviews written: 0
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 1
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 2
If that's gonna be the average , s0165741.at.mail.niagara.edu , it's not so bad ...
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-02-12 18:21:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
tigger and piglet are faggots
leave the other dudes outa this.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2007-02-12 18:18:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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