Uber Fuckup (1047 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.09 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <runswithscissorsbackwards.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2003-07-08 12:46:28 EDT
Safe to say, Sunday was the best and worst day of my life. The end of a beautiful sunny
relaxing 3 day weekend here in Portland Oregon. I must say, I have a new 'love' in my life,
which is skydiving. Ok, so I have only gone twice, and both were tandem jumps, so really, all
I did was enjoy the ride. Nothing like 60 seconds of freefall. Ok, anyway, so my first
jump was a little over a week ago, and the second one on Sunday. It was beautiful, blue skies,
warm weather......After the jump I spent a couple hours just watching the pro jumpers come
in.
Then it was time to head back into town. My friend Heather's birthday was also on Sunday.
Heather and I have known each other literally since she was born. There are photos of
us playing together when she was still in diapers. 30+ years of friendship. I go to the
pub where the party will be, but I am a bit early. So i grab a beer and hang out, end up
chatting with this nice looking gentleman who is sitting nearby. Then Heather walks in. Heather
has ALWAYS made friends with men easier than women, so there were far more guys there than gals.
And, as luck would have it, the nice looking guy I was chatting with was also there for
Heather's party. <heart leaping!> Wahoo, so I actually get to formally meet this guy!
He and I end up chatting the bulk of the night. Heather is making her rounds around the table
going from person to person to person, but spending most of her time at the other end
of the table. Evening is drawing to a close. The guy (randy) and I make the decision to
go home together. Yeah, yeah, I know. I barely know this guy. But I do know that he is
friends with Heather, and that is pretty much as good as having hired someone to do a
background check on him. So he and I leave.
We get back to his house. I will omit the details, but assume as you will, the deed is
done. I am beyond happy. Not only did I go skydiving that day, but I seemed to have
finally met a decent, single, straight, employed man who was under 50 years of age, and
to top it all of, I had sex for the first time in close to a year! Could things get any
better?
Lying there in post coital bliss, talking in sleepy tones, I ask what it is he does (he had
mentioned that he owned his own business earlier, but I did not follow up). He says that
he makes and sells candles, and then drifts off to sleep.
Makes and sells candles. Oh, my god. I have just slept with "The Candle Man." The person
that my friend Heather has been telling me about for almost 2 years. How gorgeous he is,
how much she likes him, and so on. And I met him at her birtday party, went home with him
and slept with him.
Needless to say, Heather is not speaking to me right now. dont know if she ever will again.
User Reviews
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-03-09 07:44:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
9876!
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2003-09-02 10:59:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehehehe. Not only is this a funny story, but he's called Randy.
Submitted by Justme (user info) at 2003-09-02 10:49:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow that had a good twisted end!! it made me laugh ! kinda that sucks but still funny!! but kool ! i dunno
Submitted by runswithscissors (user info) at 2003-07-10 13:50:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hell, Hair, I am ALWAYS up for meeting new people.....
doesnt sound like his trip to the states will bring him to my neck of the woods though......
sounds like he will be more in the mid US, whereas I am on the West coast......
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-07-09 21:41:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, Runs, the guy I was thinking of is travelling to the States on business next month, maybe...
He will be in NYC, Chicago and Houston (he's some accountant dude with a international tax law specialty with agricultural trade???... sounds as boring as bat shit but he makes up for his death-defying days by spending his huge piles of cash having fun, fun, fun...).
I met him at the gym, he's fit, his face is one of those "worn in" faces with big, soulful eyes, a deep smoker's voice, but gave up some years ago along whith sex, drugs and rock and roll. He's been around the block but is now fit and healthy, although he doesn't mind a drink on the weekends and soemtimes gets a little wilder... but wants to settle down.
If you want to meet Daniel, let me know - he will be in your country soon!
Submitted by runswithscissors (user info) at 2003-07-09 16:01:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, it all depends on Randy......he has my number, I do not have his (although I do know
where he lives.......hee hee hee!)
Round two......I like the sound of that..........mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
crap. There goes any hope of productivity for today.............
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-07-09 15:54:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
SWEET - so now what happens? Your friend is already mad so you might as well go for round 2.
Submitted by runswithscissors (user info) at 2003-07-09 15:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OH, and details for Loki.......
he is about 6 foot tall. short hair. nice build, hairy chest, which I dont normally care
for but it is very soft smooth hair (and none on his back, thank god, couldnt have handled
that!) And by the time we were done, the bed had moved about 2 feet away from the wall.......
Submitted by runswithscissors (user info) at 2003-07-09 14:34:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Loki,
you are very close, about why she surrounds herself with men. Not so much because she can
control them (although yes, they are easy to control), but because she wants to date, but
is too damn scared of getting hurt (she has had one serious relationship in her 32 years).
So she surrounds herself with men that she can fantasize about, but not have to completely
open up to. The guys love her because she is 'one of the guys'. And she can build up
whatever fantasies in her mind, but not have to risk getting hurt........I can see why - no one
wants to get hurt. But at the same time, i dont want to be lonely either......
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-07-09 14:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't think she would have Loren. I think she's surrounded herself with guys because she can control them because let's face it, they are such simple creatures and much less complicated than women. She likes to think that she can have any one of them at any time and even if she is not interested they are all supposed to wait around until they get the nod. You can date one of her posse only by filing a proper writ with her. Wait are we talking about Heather or me? I have to go now, my phone is ringing and I'm sure I'm needed in a meeting somewhere.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-07-09 14:26:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That weather report was gibberish, what are the C's behind the numbers. To think that you people think you're going to take over the world and you can't even coherently state what the weather is like - jeez. Here is the weather where I'm going this weekend, see it's summer in "the world". http://www.wunderground.com/US/NC/Sunset_Beach.html Be warned though clicking on that link will make you a winner but you could get a free pda.
runswithscissors - I have been friend #3, the one trapped in the middle of this before. Love it, live the dream, see both sides and still say that hey you can't expect someone to back off of a guy that is not yours just because you made goo goo eyes at him for three years. It's just silly. This is so much easier in the animal kingdom where she could have peed on him to mark him as her property. She'll probably come around and may not be contacting you right now because she feels silly and embarrassed. The bottom line is that she didn't make a move on him and you did, you win.
Now onto this DETAILS WE NEED DETAILS!
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-07-09 14:20:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck er. All's fair in love and war.
Ask yourself this - would she have refrained if the situation had been reversed?
Submitted by runswithscissors (user info) at 2003-07-09 14:03:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hair,
"make a candle of his dick for her......' HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
brilliant!
And, as far as australia goes, I love it there, happy to relocate.......???
;-)
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-07-09 03:07:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Otter, you can't have been here - it's the middle of winter in the Southern Hemisphere.
Today's weather: http://www.weather.theage.com.au/weather/melbourne.html
Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2003-07-09 02:57:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Scissors, I'll go along with fuzzybutt.
Though not quite a crudely. Melbourne is nice this time of year.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-07-08 21:00:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Runs, if she doesn't forgive you, you can always have candle guy make a candle of his dick for her, you know, as a runner up prize kinda thing...
But if she is a real friend, she will understand and apologise to you for being so cranky, afterall you were none the wiser and he obviously was attracted to you.
Failing that, I know a guy who seems perfect for you, trouble is, he's in Melbourne Australia.
Submitted by runswithscissors (user info) at 2003-07-08 17:48:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hear you BerZ.......
Unfortunately this is where I get angry about the whole thing. Brief history of me: I had,
until recently, been with the same person for 8 years. Dated, engaged, broke up, got back
togehter, broke up, got back together, broke up. It has taken me a lot of time to get over
that, and to finally be able to see myself as attractive, sexy again. My friend Heather
wanted me to dump this guy AGES ago. Wanted me to find someone new. Ok, fine. I have
been trying. Strike one, gay. Strike two, gay. Strike three, girlfriend. And so on.
What irritates me about the possiblity of having to say to this guy, "Sorry I cant hang out
with you," is the fact that I am out there putting myself on the line, as it were, letting
people I am attracted to KNOW that I am attracted to them, and if they say "No, not interested,"
so be it. At least I am trying. And then here is heather, who thinks this guy is the
shit for TWO FUCKING YEARS.......come on. Sure it is safe to hang out with him and be 'one
of the guys' and then run home alone even though you want this guy, because that way he
cannot reject you. I would think that if he WAS interested in her, after TWO years HE would
have made a move on her. Not like he was shy about it with me, and I knew him for how long? Three hours? So why is it when I am finally starting to feel good about myself, finally meet
someone that I am definately interested in getting to know more, that I have to kiss it all
goodbye because she is pissed at me for.......????? Doing something she didnt have the
guts to do??
Ok, I will stop now. Now I am getting pissed off again......
Submitted by BerZerK (user info) at 2003-07-08 17:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
She will eventually understand if you are truely sincerely sorry about it.
If she doesn't then your friendship was never that strong to begin with.
If I were in your shoes, I would continually atest that I was unaware of his
person and swear to never see him again until she cracks.
-BerZ
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2003-07-08 16:51:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great fucking story.
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-07-08 15:17:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
since you're both female, you can't call it a cock block.......so what the hell would you call it?
i know how you feel though, a long time ago i hooked up with my best friend's "dream girl" unwittingly. i felt bad and approached him about it, he was bummed but cool with it. i bet if you talk to her she'll chill out.
Submitted by turveytopsy (user info) at 2003-07-08 14:12:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Isn't this kind of like saying "You snoozee, you lose" but nicer? And instead of saying snooze you say something like "I fucked your dream guy and didn't know it was him"? Maybe tack on a hint of "I'm sorry." at the end with some puppy dog eyes?
Submitted by bababoi at 2003-07-08 14:05:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
HAHA you slut puppy, more women should be like you :). Meet a guy, like him, have sex, find out what he does afterwards...
Submitted by runswithscissors (user info) at 2003-07-08 13:29:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That was one of my thoughts........i would say, it was pretty obvious (and another friend
who was at the party concurred with this) that there was a definate 'connection' being
made. I know, if i had been in her shoes, I definately would have said something. But that is
me.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-07-08 13:29:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that sucks.
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2003-07-08 13:27:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
did it not occur to her to say something to you when she saw you talking all night?
Submitted by runswithscissors (user info) at 2003-07-08 13:23:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
She sent me an e-mail yesterday, saying "I hope you enjoyed fucking the man who has been
the object of my adoration for the last two years. It was an especially nice birthday
present."
I sent her two e-mails back, first apologizing profusely, and then explaining to her that
I did not know that he was "the candle man' until after everything had happened, if I had
known, I wouldnt have done anything, and so on.
Have not heard back from her. From what i have heard from another friend who remained at the
party after he and I left, she is convinced that I knew who he was.
Submitted by turveytopsy (user info) at 2003-07-08 13:20:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm from Chicago. I jumped out in DeKalb with some friends that go to NIU.
I really just linked that post because that story is fucking awesome.
Submitted by BerZerK (user info) at 2003-07-08 13:20:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did you explain to her that you did not know who he was?
Because it is not totally your fault if she has been talking about
him for two years and never introduced you.
-BerZ
Submitted by pjswift (user info) at 2003-07-08 13:19:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sticky situation.......I have had some girlfriends that are really picky about these types of things, weather you did it on purpose or not, sometimes they do not care. In your defense though, she did not formally introduce him or pull you aside and chat with you abou him, like most of us females do.
Submitted by Thanatos (user info) at 2003-07-08 13:09:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where are you from turvey? You said your first jump was in Dekalb, and I used to live about 20 minutes from there.
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2003-07-08 13:09:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
HAHAHA Maybe you should have gotten to know him a little better beforehand. Your friend may be pissed now but eventually she will realize that you didn't do it on purpose an she shouldn't be such a retard about it. It wasn't as if they were engaged or even dating for that matter. Hey, and if it comes down to it, there is always room for third input.
Submitted by turveytopsy (user info) at 2003-07-08 12:57:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=105459658613032363
Submitted by chicagogirl (user info) at 2003-07-08 12:53:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wow! But if you and candle man actually wind up staying together she should be happy that you are happy. If they were meant to hook up it would have happened already. Good luck!