I'm new, whatever (832 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.68 on 49 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Progr3ss (View user info) at 2007-02-20 20:00:25 EST
I've got a problem and I'm hoping someone will help out and at least one response will be helpful.
I stumbled onto this site from B@W and read a few posts that I thought we're pretty funny. I saw comments at the bottom and wanted to contribute to it and say "Hey good on ya champ, funny shit."
But after I signed up and commented on whatever I wanted to comment on, I noticed that there's some confusing shit going on that newbies like me probably would have to wait and slowly discover what the fuck it meant. Camwhores? Flamers? Alters? Troll? Look I haven't spent a great deal of time on this site or even the net in general. I mainly look up sports scores, check email and stalk celebrities, but this site interested me, SO WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT ALL MEAN????? I've read the Uber history. The links to the Uber dictionary don't work. I'm even more confussed that everyone seems to just slag each other off. Look at the Uberboard. What the Fuck? If you don't like someone DON'T FUCKING POST TO THEM!!!
Am I alone in this?? Is there a fucking huge piece of the puzzle that I've missed? If I'm alone in this then great, I'll get over it, make assumptions, post drawings of stick men and think about what beer to buy on the way home from the hole I work in.
If you all just -2DIE this then I prove my point. whatever the fuck it was.
User Reviews
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:41:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why?
Submitted by ChalupaTres (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:15:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
-2DIE
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:36:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
First off, one post per day.
As you can see, this is much nicer than the way I was told a while back:
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-06-16 08:17:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, look at this: ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick. ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick. ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
ONE POST PER DAY, drippy dick.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:34:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jet_stream_nz (user info) at 2007-02-20 22:29:25 (#)
Ranking: -2
Leave now before some fuckwit gets your personal details and starts fucking around with them.
JonnyX is the kind of useless fuckhead who does shit like that. Hopefully one day he'll get within striking distance so someone can eliminate him from the degenerate gene pool from whence he came.
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you're top of the list, Sfagnum. I would fuck your shit up real good if I ever catch you.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2007-02-21 12:21:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
h i
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-02-21 12:03:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
sorry if your not, but this is how I would introduce myself if I was.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-02-21 12:02:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2007-02-21 10:20:14 (#)
Ranking: -2
I call shennanigans.
Alter!
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-02-21 11:49:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-20 20:18:12 (#)
Ranking: -2
Hopefully, "go fuck yourself" isn't on your list of confusing "inside Uber" terms.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-02-21 11:14:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You sure can "speak the vernacular" for someone who is totally new.
Submitted by consuelo212 (user info) at 2007-02-21 10:59:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2007-02-21 10:45:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Despina (user info) at 2007-02-20 20:01:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
everyone here is a fat ugly pig, tats what ive come to realize, their petty and jelous and angry because their parents are related LOL
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Shouldn't the kids be in bed at that time? ^
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2007-02-21 10:20:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I call shennanigans.
Alter!
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-02-21 10:19:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahhh so now I n
know what NSFW means.....
God I am a dumbass bitch
Thank You
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-02-21 07:49:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-02-20 23:55:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
When I joined I thought it was a terrible idea to post before I learned everything about the site. Thus, I lurked on and off for years.
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Thus demonstrating your complete lack of balls. What the fuck, right? How will you know if you can swim if you don't dive in the deep end? And lots of other crappy motivational metaphors with a question mark at the end?
Oh, and you whose post this is, whatever.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-21 07:00:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wooot! Kill NOLA.
Submitted by Snare (user info) at 2007-02-21 03:47:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
SPT is the day after tomorrow!
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-02-21 02:05:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-02-21 01:46:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-02-21 00:32:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks to all that clarified.
To those that didn't, thank you as well.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 00:28:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh yes - and we are all here because we're bored.
simple
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 00:28:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Now as for why they choose to say "camwhore" instead of picture, that i cannot tell you."
*I* can. It's because cheap little (sometimes big) sluts come around looking for attention, find a new website, and post obnoxious pictures like they do on MySpace thinking all the males will shower them with praise and adulation.
Meaning: Some who purposefully objectifies themself to get attention: WHORE!!
They do it with a camera: CAM-WHORE
Also - In general, if you want to know who is talking out thier ass, and who knows something, click "user info." That will show you how long they've been on uber (unless it's an alter)
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 00:21:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you seem literate. Welcome... now write something good.
(most of uber happens in the comments on the posts.)
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2007-02-20 23:59:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-02-20 21:06:42 (#)
Ranking: -1
You are not alone if that is any consolation.. The majority of people do in fact speak normally. People around here however, feel the need to speak in redundant half-assed code. It is not all that perplexing if you attack the problem logically. Let us say for example, you see a post titled camwhore.. take a look at the post and identify the material. Next time you see camwhore, simply take what you know about the first post and compare with the second. What are the similarities. Repeat with a third post. Another method is to compare the post with a 'camwhore to the post without a "camwhore and see if there is an anomaly (these methods are for persons of lesser intelligence as camwhore contains the word cam which can be self explanatory when coupled with a picture the size of a basketball, yes you should also use context clues if you have not already been told as much). Now as for why they choose to say "camwhore" instead of picture, that i cannot tell you. Your guess is as good as mine. Follow this general concept and you may conclude that you too, do in fact have the capability to decipher hieroglyphics.
---
What he meant to say was this:
You are not alone if that is any consolation because I am also an unstoppable asshole bent on the destruction of humanity by way of not knowing how to use commas. The majority of people do in fact speak normally, I tell you this because I like to be redundant as possible. Or because I don't understand the fact that normalcy is *defined by* the majority. People around here however, feel the need to speak with slang because...oh wait, everyone else in the world uses slang too. It is not all that perplexing if you attack the problem logically, you can tell because even someone as stupid as myself figured it out. Let us say for example, BLAH DE FUCKING BLAH I DONT KNOW HOW TO USE COMMAS SO I MAKE UP FOR IT BY TAKING RANDOM WORDS OUT OF MY TEXT AND REPLACING THEM WITH WHICHEVER SYNONYM ON DICTIONARY.COM HAS THE MOST LETTERS.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-02-20 23:55:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
When I joined I thought it was a terrible idea to post before I learned everything about the site. Thus, I lurked on and off for years.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-02-20 23:06:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
what's an uber?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-02-20 22:59:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-02-20 22:28:43 (#)
Ranking: -2
ubmitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-20 20:18:12 (#)
Ranking: -2
Hopefully, "go fuck yourself" isn't on your list of confusing "inside Uber" terms
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made me laugh
Welcome to Uber. I see you've met Shlongy, don't mind him he's always like that.
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Shlongy and Cyrus made me smile
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-02-20 22:49:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What you really need to do is to just lower your standards and keep your mouth shut unless you feel like stepping onto the level of thinking people, instead of mouth breathers like yourself, who can barely wipe the shit from from their own asses. This was clearly not a time you chose to think.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-02-20 22:32:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
desolatemisantripe, talks out of a hole in his ass, and smells like ass, and eats ass, and is just an ass in general.
that's all i have to say.
goodbye.
Submitted by jet_stream_nz (user info) at 2007-02-20 22:29:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Leave now before some fuckwit gets your personal details and starts fucking around with them.
JonnyX is the kind of useless fuckhead who does shit like that. Hopefully one day he'll get within striking distance so someone can eliminate him from the degenerate gene pool from whence he came.
Good luck with your Uber career. You're gonna need it.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-02-20 22:28:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ubmitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-20 20:18:12 (#)
Ranking: -2
Hopefully, "go fuck yourself" isn't on your list of confusing "inside Uber" terms
----------------------------------------------------------
made me laugh
Welcome to Uber. I see you've met Shlongy, don't mind him he's always like that.
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2007-02-20 22:15:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Seriously though -2
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2007-02-20 22:15:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
FUCK YOU YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCK
B
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2007-02-20 21:54:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ubersite is like a series of tubes..
Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-02-20 21:06:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You are not alone if that is any consolation.. The majority of people do in fact speak normally. People around here however, feel the need to speak in redundant half-assed code. It is not all that perplexing if you attack the problem logically. Let us say for example, you see a post titled camwhore.. take a look at the post and identify the material. Next time you see camwhore, simply take what you know about the first post and compare with the second. What are the similarities. Repeat with a third post. Another method is to compare the post with a 'camwhore to the post without a "camwhore and see if there is an anomaly (these methods are for persons of lesser intelligence as camwhore contains the word cam which can be self explanatory when coupled with a picture the size of a basketball, yes you should also use context clues if you have not already been told as much). Now as for why they choose to say "camwhore" instead of picture, that i cannot tell you. Your guess is as good as mine. Follow this general concept and you may conclude that you too, do in fact have the capability to decipher hieroglyphics.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-02-20 20:47:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
... no need to be a progrASS.
BUHAHAHAHaha.
heh.
um. fuck you.
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-02-20 20:46:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-02-20 20:37:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahahaha
Pi
Hahahaha
Good one, Shlong!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-20 20:32:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
3.14, dipshit.
There's an answer for ya.
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-02-20 20:30:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't want a mentor, I just want an answer.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-02-20 20:29:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Troll = JonnyX
Not in the most classic of terms - he's just a bored, uncreative old jackass who contributes virtually nothing beyond the odd hot girl cramming her tounge down another hot girl's throat.
um... pretty much what that forensic chicky said - just don't piss her off. She will eat you alive.
Few women have that much bile at the ready. She hates me, and I fear her.
I think yer off to a great start.
Submitted by Despina (user info) at 2007-02-20 20:21:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
dont listin to that guy down there, hes such a LOOOOOOOSERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-20 20:18:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hopefully, "go fuck yourself" isn't on your list of confusing "inside Uber" terms.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-02-20 20:16:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, the normal procedure is to A) lurk for a while and then review for a while and then post after you get an idea what's going on, or B) post "Hey, I'm new, whatever." and get a flurry of -2s from the usuals and some "Hey, I suck too!" +2s from the other noobs. You have chosen option B.
Don't post more than once a day. Don't say you're new. Don't say "If you do [thing], you prove my point". No one here will be your mentor, although you will find an ample supply of tormentors. And, since you asked...
STFU, -2ool.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-02-20 20:10:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uber is what you make of it.
Camwhores are when you post a pic of yourself. Not required.
Here you will find a decent short story post right below a post that is an afront to humanity. Again it is what you make of it.
The Uberboard is there to post general messages. The banty roosters here though use it to fight and internet cock measure with each other.
There is an assload of bravado here too. Ignore or participate in it. It makes no difference.
Bart is a benevolent administrator. You have to be a really annoying shit to get banned. Generally posting NSFW (not safe for work) content without a warning in the title will get you booted faster than anything.
And this is more than I knew when I started.
Have fun and welcome to Uber.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-02-20 20:09:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're getting +2 because I noticed you yesterday and I found you amusing. I dont remember what it was, just something.
Anyway... I haven't read any comments, so here are my answers:
Camwhores? When someone posts a picture of themselves. Usually it's not a "real" person, but someone who has signed up for a duplicate account, and finds it amusing to create a "fake" person on uber. It's like Barbies for grown-ups.
Flamers? I don't believe this is a typical uber-term.
Alters? A regular user who makes a duplicate account in order to either a)be "funny" or b)be a dick (since they don't have the balls to be a dick using their normal user name)
Troll? We don't use this term, I don't think. In any event, they are short men who live under bridges!! ARGH HA HA.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-20 20:09:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Always remember, you are here to entertain us, not the other way around.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-02-20 20:06:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Alter = an established user starts a new account and pretends to be someone new.
SPT = Shit Post Thursday
You should be able to figure the rest out.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-20 20:03:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
can finger your mum?
Submitted by Despina (user info) at 2007-02-20 20:01:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
everyone here is a fat ugly pig, tats what ive come to realize, their petty and jelous and angry because their parents are related LOL