Attention Everyone (who cares): Jack "says" he was the author of the audio entry (entry one) in the final round of Ubermadness. (3320 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.39 on 199 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by (V) (View user info) at 2007-02-21 12:41:44 EST
Eat shit and die, cat herder. Even if you were lying and that wasn't your entry, you should be DQed anyway.
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Submitted by gank (user info) at 2007-02-21 11:44:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
Uhh. Yeah, Jack.
Why the hell are you commenting at all about which post was yours/his??
Even if it's reverse psychology, and you really wrote 2, you're still creating the type of shenanigans that they said was grounds for DQification.
--
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 12:29:01 (#)
Dude, the only people who can read that comment are ones who ALREADY VOTED, therefore I am not swaying future votes one way or the other.
Now if SOMEONE ELSE posted that comment outside THIS post, that would be a reason for a DQ.
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2007-02-21 12:12:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack sounds pretty desperate. I think we should let him win since it means so much to him.
I mean, what else does he have, really?
Poor thing.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 12:09:51 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2007-02-21 11:44:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
Uhh. Yeah, Jack.
Why the hell are you commenting at all about which post was yours/his??
Even if it's reverse psychology, and you really wrote 2, you're still creating the type of shenanigans that they said was grounds for DQification.
-----------
It's because Jack is a smug piece of shit that thinks he's going to win this no matter WHAT he does. He and Snark are butt buddies, so he gets away with murder. People have been DQ'ed in the past for exactly what Jack has been doing for several rounds now, yet he gets away with it for some reason.
AND I'M THE ASSHOLE?
Fuck this contest
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-02-21 12:25:57 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 11:37:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
I just finished reading entry #2. I think it's only fair to charmingly beef that you pay attention to what he wrote. Excerpts:
Isn't it weird that we voted for each other's entries?
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Jack, you complain that people are ganging up on you for cheating/using alters, etc, so you write THIS review? something that actually gives away the authors of the stories, provable obvious breaking of the rules?
At least when Apollo and Method were saying you were using alters it couldn't be proved, but this is flagrantly going against the rules in a verifiable way. Use your brain, Jack, when people are saying you're a cheater, you actually cheat.
User Reviews
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-03-11 06:33:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ubercockness
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-03-11 01:24:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Can't log in, can you?
THAT'S CAUSE I HACKED YOUR ACCOUNT!
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-03-11 01:15:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I totally just hacked your account.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-26 17:27:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You want me to eat GOD???
V
V
V
V
V
V
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2007-02-26 11:41:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
EAT SHIT AND DEI CAT HERDER!1111! WTF EVEN IF U WAR3 LYNG AND TAHT WASNT UR ANTRY U SHUD B DQ3D ANYWAY!!1!!11 WTF LOL
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-23 16:39:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-23 16:14:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Better watch what you say Caul, someone might get really pissed at you and write "I LOVE COCK IN MY ASS - Caulaincourt" on the uberboard, and then get all giddy and excited thinking they accomplished something and tarnished your incredibly important uber-reputation, giggling and drooling all over themselves.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2007-02-23 14:20:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by richardcranium (user info) at 2007-02-23 12:19:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Water swirls the opposite way down the drain in the southern hemisphere.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-02-23 12:14:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You crackahs iz crazy.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:44:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
why can't there be an anti-snark campaign?
and circe too
there should be an anti circe campaing
and that cunt headed cunt coyote
there should be a campaign against all of them
shlongy and apollo and method and caulincourt should take those cunts to task.
that's what i'd like to see
not as much as australia losing the world cup, but i woulud like to see it
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-02-23 09:56:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
a snooty cunt
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-02-23 09:56:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i blame snark
he is a cunt
Submitted by jojo747 (user info) at 2007-02-23 01:42:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2007-02-22 19:34:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I really doubt jack writes to win ubermadness contests anyway
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2007-02-22 17:08:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:02:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:50:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
First of all...
Why the fuck does anyone care? AGAIN: IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'S A PRIZE.
You guys are homos.
And secondly...
Jack, you need to read the goddamn rules. You're DQed and should have been long ago.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92349
And I quote: "You are NOT allowed to reveal your identity or the identity of your opponent intentionally. "
Now Snark. I have no beef with you. You be coo. But when are you going to get off your fucking ass and enforce the goddamn rules?
===========================
Where were they clearly broken?
_______
If I recall correctly, and I'm pretty sure I do, there has been a rule against revealing or even alluding to who wrote what post via email, aim, in the post, OR IN THE REVIEWS, at all, even a little bit, no its not even ok if nobody's going to see it except people who already voted and your grandma, no, not even if there's already a landslide style difference in the two entries, no not even for twelve dollars and a handjob, until the round was over, ever since the very first UM contest. And I'm pretty sure I recall correctly.
I <3 (V)
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-02-22 16:14:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, if that was Jack's voice it was fucking sexy as hell.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-02-22 16:08:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 12:42:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
anyone who takes this contest seriously is a fag
--------------------------------------
Yeah - like this V guy. What a homo...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-22 13:22:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-22 12:07:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
so it's official - jacks a cheat?
--
Gotta stoke that fire to keep it burnin, boy.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-02-22 12:18:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:26:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Large engines are usually multicylinder to reduce pulsations from individual firing strokes, with more than one piston attached to a more complex crankshaft; but many small engines, such as those found in mopeds or garden machinery, are single cylinder and use only a single piston, simplifying crankshaft design. The crankshaft has a linear axis about which it rotates, typically with several bearing journals riding on replaceable bearings held in the engine block, the main bearings. As the crankshaft undergoes a great deal of sideways load from each cylinder in a multicylinder engine, it must be supported by several such bearings, not just one at each end; this was also a factor in the rise of V8 engines with their shorter crankshafts in preference to straight-8 engines, whose long crankshafts suffered from an unacceptable amount of flex when engine designs began using a higher compression ratio and improved-breathing over head valves allowed higher RPM's. High performance engines will often have more main bearings than their lower performance cousins, for this reason. In addition, to convert the reciprocating motion into rotation, the crankshaft has "crank throws" or "crank pins", additional bearing surfaces whose axis is offset from that of the crank, to which the "big ends" of the connecting rods from each cylinder attach. The distance of the axis of the crank throws from the axis of the crankshaft determines the piston stroke measurement, and thus engine displacement; a common way to increase the low-RPM torque of an engine is to increase the stroke. This also increases the reciprocating vibration, however, limiting the high RPM capability of the engine; in compensation, it improves the low speed operation of the engine, as the longer intake stroke through smaller valve(s) results in greater turbulence and mixing of the intake charge. For this reason, even such high speed production engines as current Honda engines are classified as long-stroke, in that the stroke is larger than the diameter of the cylinder bore. In production V or flat engines, neighboring connecting rods attach side by side to the same crank throw, simplifying crank design.
=============
SEXIEST
REVIEW
EVER
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-22 12:07:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
so it's official - jacks a cheat?
Submitted by cocaine (user info) at 2007-02-22 10:51:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Shampoo is better. I go on first and cleeeaaaan the hair!"
"Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smoooove!"
Stop looking at me swan.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-22 10:30:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am so friggin handsome
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-02-22 00:53:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This appears to be yet another example of menz on menz prostate probing.
yeesh
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-02-22 00:16:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah yeah yeah, if you wanted shit from me, you'd squeeze my fat head
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-02-22 00:09:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Please God let this be the last Ubermadness. IT'S A WASH, PEOPLE. LET IT GO.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-02-21 23:45:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
rob, if you want to ignore someone, you don't have to post the same shit over and over.
you can just stop replying.
unless you're a last-word freak?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-02-21 23:25:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-02-21 22:29:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
sorry rob, i'm not an intellectual like you.
i have no idea what that meant.
---
(roughly translated)
CONJECTUTE CONJECTURE CRANKY PANTS PISSY PANTS ANGRY DORK CONJECTURE IGNORANT PANTS [REPEAT]
IGNORANT ASSHOLE CONJECTURE ASSHOLE CONJECTURE IGNORANT CRANKY PANTS! NO DISSASSEMBLE!
Submitted by MEDIQ (user info) at 2007-02-21 23:22:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
K seriously...the fucking ding DONG in the middle should have to be licensed. The nobbly deal on the end of that thing is terrifying. The Disco bush is alarming. I'm pretty sure someone should call a bi-law officer. Somethings not right there.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-02-21 22:29:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
sorry rob, i'm not an intellectual like you.
i have no idea what that meant.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-02-21 22:08:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-02-21 22:05:14 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 21:45:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-02-21 21:39:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
if an outsider read this argument over this 3rd grade contest...he would probably wince at how gay this whole thing is
--
Yep.
---
and you are the gayest thing in here, fella.
---
...that is what she said.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-02-21 22:05:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 21:45:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-02-21 21:39:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
if an outsider read this argument over this 3rd grade contest...he would probably wince at how gay this whole thing is
--
Yep.
===
and you are the gayest thing in here, fella.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 21:45:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-02-21 21:39:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
if an outsider read this argument over this 3rd grade contest...he would probably wince at how gay this whole thing is
--
Yep.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-02-21 21:39:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
if an outsider read this argument over this 3rd grade contest...he would probably wince at how gay this whole thing is
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-02-21 21:17:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-21 19:27:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:23:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack- it's rather apparent that I do not read the details or any of the reviews, posts, recipes, etc. that have anything to do with this contest...
I've ALWAYS hated the stupid thing, moreso this year because Gulliver traveled around the world in less time than it took to finish this fucking nightmare of a contest.
But you're been accused by more than one person of cheating in a multitude of ways...and it still boggles the educated mind why winning this thing means so much to a semi-intelligent person.
I read just enough to know that you need this for some unknown reason
Don't spend the prize money all in one place, Longfellow.
i fucking LOVE ubersite.
---
...that truly is one of the best comments ever.
Submitted by Still-Life (user info) at 2007-02-21 20:34:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:32:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
There are people who need people to need them. The reason you don't understand is because you're not one of those people. You'd use me and then toss me away like a paper bag if that's what it came down to. God fucked you, my friend. You're just smart enough so it would hurt you to do that, and just hard enough so you'd go ahead and do it anyway. You wouldn't be able to help yourself. If I was lying on the beach there and screaming for help, you'd walk over me as if I was between you and your goddamn Tower.
--------
Fuckin good book. They're making a movie / TV short series based around the books.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-02-21 20:22:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
dear lord, talk about heat.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-21 20:04:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I AM in the Uber Hall of Fame as a reviewer....
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-21 19:27:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-21 19:27:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:23:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack- it's rather apparent that I do not read the details or any of the reviews, posts, recipes, etc. that have anything to do with this contest...
I've ALWAYS hated the stupid thing, moreso this year because Gulliver traveled around the world in less time than it took to finish this fucking nightmare of a contest.
But you're been accused by more than one person of cheating in a multitude of ways...and it still boggles the educated mind why winning this thing means so much to a semi-intelligent person.
I read just enough to know that you need this for some unknown reason
Don't spend the prize money all in one place, Longfellow.
i fucking LOVE ubersite.
Submitted by odin (user info) at 2007-02-21 19:27:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:45:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The files are *IN* the computer?!?!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:31:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:24:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:56:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:54:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Thing is, if people didn't know who wrote each post before, they do now. Voting is still going on, and now people who have yet to vote know which entry belongs to which contestant.
===============
How?
------
It explicitly states in the post which entry Jack wrote.
--
Don't believe everything you read.
Don't believe the line above.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:30:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:21:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
i dont care about this
jack, stop making justifications for your actions. if you were a man you'd withdraw and proclaim the other guy as the winner.
--
Oh LOOK everyone, it's rad!
HI rad!
Do you think he saw me? He looked right at me.
He is so kewl!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:28:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:05:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't decide how to vote.
--
It's obvious.
Vote for me.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:24:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:56:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:54:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Thing is, if people didn't know who wrote each post before, they do now. Voting is still going on, and now people who have yet to vote know which entry belongs to which contestant.
===============
How?
------
It explicitly states in the post which entry Jack wrote.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:23:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Starving member of the "I ONLY EAT COCK" club above.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:21:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i dont care about this
jack, stop making justifications for your actions. if you were a man you'd withdraw and proclaim the other guy as the winner.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:17:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
can't have hate sex if you love me.
it wouldn't work.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:13:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Crystle, I LOVE YOU! There I said it. Wanna have hate sex?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:11:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
and memorializing "your" uber board?
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:10:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Heat
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:10:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe I shoulda put some context for that last review.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:09:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thorpe is a pasty-white goofus who can fart 'Waltzing Matilda' out his tightly clenched butthole
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:09:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ok, simon, obviously you're trying to get my attention.
Whattya wanna say?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:08:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Slurpee wholesaler above.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:06:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hi thorpe. Post something funny.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:06:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:05:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hungry cock fiend above.
-----------------
dick
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:05:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
GOOD NIGHT WHITEYS
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:05:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Method ruined UMIV for everyone. Do-over round IV.1 to begin in 2 weeks. -Snark.
-------------------
ahahaha
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:05:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
By the book, that is indeed an automatic DQ.
However, if we're going to disqualify people based purely on the "spirit of the competition", I reckon the committe should also be able to NOT disqualify people, based on the spirit of the comptetition. In this case, where there's two people and it's pretty obvious who wrote what, fuck DQs.
I can't decide how to vote.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-21 18:05:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hungry cock fiend above.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:57:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MERLINA ALSO HAS GREAT TASTE IN SHOES.
BUT NONE OF THEM ARE GAY MENZ.
DOCS ARE OLD SKOOL.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:56:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:54:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Thing is, if people didn't know who wrote each post before, they do now. Voting is still going on, and now people who have yet to vote know which entry belongs to which contestant.
===============
How?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:56:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
DON'T ASK METHOD, HE HAS HORRIBLE TASTE.
YOU SHOULD TALK TO JOSIE ABOUT SHOES, OR PENTAMETER. THEY ARE BOTH CRAZY SHOE LADIES.
ME, I LIKE MY DOCS. AND FOR WORK I WEAR SOME BLACK LEATHER SOMETHING OR OTHER. THEY WERE CHEAP, THEY COST ABOUT $100.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:54:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thing is, if people didn't know who wrote each post before, they do now. Voting is still going on, and now people who have yet to vote know which entry belongs to which contestant.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:51:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OH! I GUESS I AM.
EVERY GIRL NEEDS A SECOND OPINION ON HER SHOE CHOICES, THOUGH
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:48:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OH, CRYSTLE IS HERE...
YOU ARE ALL RAGING HOMOS MINUS ONE.
HI CRYSTLE, ARE YOU SOME KIND OF FAG HAG, HANGING AROUND HERE?
(IT'S WHY I'M HERE)
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:46:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HI SCOURGE!!
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:46:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:40:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
You want to point out shit, strawbaby, where was your voice last round when people crawled out of the fucking grave to vote (do ya think they got an email, huh?), that is after fighting their way past a shit ton of alters.
I didn't hear anyone raise a word in my defense then, so fuck off.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey Jackie, let's try to keep the pants on, nkay? And at the very least, if you insist on having them off, change your damn tampon. Then, why don't you fucking check that post and you'll see that not only did I voice my opinion about this bullshit last round, but I voted and even did it without receiving an email.
You and ETS need to join forces. Both of you suffer from intoxicating levels of paranoia.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:40:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF RAGING HOMOS
HOW'S LIFE HERE IN FAG TOWN, FAGS?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:33:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:16:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
Admit it Jack, if it weren't for troublemakers like me and JonnyX and Apollo
-------
leave me and Bighead out of your little circle jerk nexttime, mmkay?
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:25:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you are the osama of the drama mama's
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:20:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
for the love of god, you fuckin pissant, get a blowjob.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:11:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
(V)- aim?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:10:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Somebody gave me some Chinese candy the other day. I just ate a piece. Lord fucking Christ.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:10:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ghGHACK!!!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:08:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Valtrex model below.
Yours.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:07:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hell, I'm down, your place or mine, Simon?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:03:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
eh - I'll pass on that.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-21 17:00:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Woman who wants to tongue my balloon knot below.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:57:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
gemini below
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:55:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Cancer Above
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:49:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Awesome! Can't wait...
*drums fingers on desk*
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:47:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:17:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm bored
--
Working on another chapter of something. Be up today or tomorrow.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:46:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it did
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:41:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oooooh.... noob about to camwhore.....
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:37:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shut the fuck up, gook.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:35:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:14:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
FUCK THIS SHIT, I DONT NEED THIS ABUSE, IM LEAVING
HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF HAVING AN ALTER YOU FUCKING DICK
--
You should find comfort in the fact that I have never accused you of having a dick.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:29:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I wouldn't have noticed but for this post.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:22:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I personally think Jack should win Ubermadness, i think he is an amazing writer, and who gives a shit if he's a whiney little bitch. He's provided alot of great stuff to this site, unlike this pathetic piece of shit post.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:17:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm bored
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:16:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Admit it Jack, if it weren't for troublemakers like me and JonnyX and Apollo, your two absolutely phenomenal UM submissions would have gotten a lot less exposure.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:14:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
FUCK THIS SHIT, I DONT NEED THIS ABUSE, IM LEAVING
HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF HAVING AN ALTER YOU FUCKING DICK
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:14:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:10:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't fly off the fuckin handle you defensive psycho. I didn't say he was you.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:09:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
YES JACK, I AM EVERYONE, AND EVERYONE IS ME.
And you call us sheep.
Jesus wept.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:05:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmm. Who could KindaNews be. Who could he be... hmmm...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:57:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2007-02-21 12:12:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack sounds pretty desperate. I think we should let him win since it means so much to him.
I mean, what else does he have, really?
Poor thing.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:47:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:23:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack- it's rather apparent that I do not read the details or any of the reviews, posts, recipes, etc. that have anything to do with this contest...
--
And yet you vote. Okay.
Hey, here's a primer for '08.
Black Man - Barack Obama
Broad - Hillary Clinton
Foot in Mouth Disease - Joe Biden
Insane Black Man - The Reverend Al Sharpton
Knuckleheads - Tom Vilsack, John McCain, Dennis Kucinich
Lawyer - John Edwards
Mayor - Rudy Giuliani
Mormon -Mitt Romney
US Army - Wesley Clark
Vanilla - Sam Brownback
Submitted by jade_digitalmedia (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:38:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that whole contest is shenannies.
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:32:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
more
stupid
bullshit
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:30:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
c+="utmcsr="+_uEC(t2); } if (t3!="-" && t3!="") { if (c != "") c+="|"; c+="utmgclid="+_uEC(t3); } t=_uGC(s,_uccn+"=","&"); if (t!="-" && t!="") c+="|utmccn="+_uEC(t); else c+="|utmccn=(not+set)"; t=_uGC(s,_ucmd+"=","&"); if (t!="-" && t!="") c+="|utmcmd="+_uEC(t); else c+="|utmcmd=(not+set)"; t=_uGC(s,_uctr+"=","&"); if (t!="-" && t!="") c+="|utmctr="+_uEC(t); else { t=_uOrg(1); if (t!="-" && t!="") c+="|utmctr="+_uEC(t); } t=_uGC(s,_ucct+"=","&"); if (t!="-" && t!="") c+="|utmcct="+_uEC(t); t=_uGC(s,_ucno+"=","&"); if (t=="1") o=1; if (z!="-" && o==1) return ""; } if (c=="-" || c=="") { c=_uOrg(); if (z!="-" && _ufno==1) return ""; } if (c=="-" || c=="") { if (_ufns==1) c=_uRef(); if (z!="-" && _ufno==1) return ""; } if (c=="-" || c=="") { if (z=="-" && _ufns==1) { c="utmccn=(direct)|utmcsr=(direct)|utmcmd=(none)"; } if (c=="-" || c=="") return ""; } if (z!="-") { i=z.indexOf("."); if (i>-1) i=z.indexOf(".",i+1); if (i>-1) i=z.indexOf(".",i+1); if (i>-1) i=z.indexOf(".",i+1); t=z.substring(i+1,z.length); if (t.toLowerCase()==c.toLowerCase()) cs=1; t=z.substring(0,i); if ((i=t.lastIndexOf(".")) > -1) { t=t.substring(i+1,t.length); cn=(t*1); } } if (cs==0 || _ufns==1) { t=_uGC(dc,"__utma="+_udh,";"); if ((i=t.lastIndexOf(".")) > 9) { _uns=t.substring(i+1,t.length); _uns=(_uns*1); } cn++; if (_uns==0) _uns=1; _ubd.cookie="__utmz="+_udh+"."+_ust+"."+_uns+"."+cn+"."+c+"; path="+_utcp+"; "+x+_udo; } if (cs==0 || _ufns==1) return "&utmcn=1"; else return "&utmcr=1"; } function _uRef() { if (_ur=="0" || _ur=="" || _ur=="-") return ""; var i=0,h,k,n; if ((i=_ur.indexOf("://"))<0) return ""; h=_ur.substring(i+3,_ur .length); if (h.indexOf("/") > -1) { k=h.substring(h.indexOf("/"),h.length); if (k.indexOf("?") > -1) k=k. substring(0,k.indexOf("?")); h=h.substring(0,h.indexOf("/")); } h=h.toLowerCase(); n=h; if ((i=n.indexOf(":")) > -1) n=n.substring(0,i); for (var ii=0;ii<_uRno.length;ii++) { if ((i=n.indexOf(_uRno[ii].toLowerCase())) > -1 && n.length==(i+_uRno[ii].length)) { _ufno=1; break; } } if (h.indexOf("www.")==0) h=h.substring(4,h.length); return "utmccn=(referral)|utmcsr="+_uEC(h)+"|"+"utmcct="+_uEC(k)+"|utmcmd=referral"; } function _uOrg(t) { if (_ur=="0" || _ur=="" || _ur=="-") return ""; var i=0,h,k; if ((i=_ur.indexOf("://")) < 0) return ""; h=_ur.substring(i+3,_ur.length); if (h.indexOf("/") > -1) { h=h.substring(0,h.indexOf("/")); } for (var ii=0;ii<_uOsr.length; ii++) { if (h.toLowerCase().indexOf(_uOsr[ii].toLowerCase()) > -1) { if ((i=_ur.indexOf("?"+_uOkw[ii]+"=")) > -1 || (i=_ur.indexOf("&"+_uOkw[ii]+"=")) > -1) { k=_ur.substring(i+_uOkw[ii].length+2,_ur.length); if ((i=k.indexOf("&")) > -1) k=k.substring(0,i); for (var yy=0;yy<_uOno.length;yy++) { if (_uOno[yy].toLowerCase()==k.toLowerCase()) { _ufno=1; break; } } if (t) return _uEC(k); else return "utmccn=(organic)|utmcsr="+_uEC(_uOsr[ii])+"|"+"utmctr="+_uEC(k)+"|utmcmd=organic"; } } } return ""; } function _uBInfo() { var sr="-",sc="-",ul="-",fl="-",cs="-",je=1; var n=navigator; if (self.screen) { sr=screen.width+"x"+screen.height; sc=screen.colorDepth+"-bit"; } else if (self.java) { var j=java.awt.Toolkit.getDefaultToolkit(); var s=j.getScreenSize(); sr=s.width+"x"+s.height; } if (n.language) { ul=n.language.toLowerCase(); } else if (n.browserLanguage) { ul=n.browserLanguage.toLowerCase(); } je=n.javaEnabled()?1:0;
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:23:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack- it's rather apparent that I do not read the details or any of the reviews, posts, recipes, etc. that have anything to do with this contest...
I've ALWAYS hated the stupid thing, moreso this year because Gulliver traveled around the world in less time than it took to finish this fucking nightmare of a contest.
But you're been accused by more than one person of cheating in a multitude of ways...and it still boggles the educated mind why winning this thing means so much to a semi-intelligent person.
I read just enough to know that you need this for some unknown reason
Don't spend the prize money all in one place, Longfellow.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:23:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:16:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
I count three people who still give a fuck about this stupid fucking contest.
Jack, Snark, JMG and probably one other complete loser.
-
Yes, and that would be Method, the creator of this post.
Wake up, Herb.
Old Shlongy: Not as fast as he used to be.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:19:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:16:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Fucking cheating over an internet web site writing contest.
--
Shlongy: Now More Sheep Than Ever!
*taps fingers, continues to wait for proof of cheating accusations that began TWO MONTHS AGO.*
Submitted by fruity_tootie (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:19:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:18:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:15:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, this isn't my main user ID
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:16:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I count three people who still give a fuck about this stupid fucking contest.
Jack, Snark, JMG and probably one other complete loser.
Fucking cheating over an internet web site writing contest.
ENJOY THE RICHES THAT COME WITH THE TITLE, JACK! YER DA BESTEST!!!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:15:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, this isn't my main user ID
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:13:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I pay the Mexicans at the laundromat to do my laundry.
I have yet to find my bath robe. I know they stole it, those motherfuckers. Mexicans can't resist Egyptian Cotton.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:13:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If you ask me, and you shouldn't, it's a case of what came first, the Method or the Alter.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:13:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:58:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Übermadness is run by Jews."
-----
I'm no Hebe, you polesmoaking moolie
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:12:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ironing?
Where?
I need to get some done..damn wrinkles
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:07:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:58:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack McCallum will build you a bomb made out of cat shit for thirty three dollars + S/H.
-=-=-
14th Best Review EVAR!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:06:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What, Lorraine? What?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 15:06:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My shenannigans over the last few UMs are the reason the rules have become so strict, and now I'm complaining they're not being enforced.
DOES NO ONE SEE THE FUCKING IRONY HERE?
God I hate you all.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:58:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Übermadness is run by Jews."
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:58:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack McCallum will build you a bomb made out of cat shit for thirty three dollars + S/H.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:52:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just like a man - never listens!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:40:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
You want to point out shit, strawbaby, where was your voice last round when people crawled out of the fucking grave to vote (do ya think they got an email, huh?), that is after fighting their way past a shit ton of alters.
I didn't hear anyone raise a word in my defense then, so fuck off.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:49:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
and I'm bookmarking this post for the Chicken Recipe....
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:48:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wholly rusted metal,(V)atban.... STOP IT WITH ALL THE FREEEEEKEEEEN NOOB/Alters already..
245 are enough for a week!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:44:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-08-28 11:04:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't trust you or your jewbag panel of judges
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:41:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And one more thing.
If I had naked pictures of Method I wouldn't tell anyone.
I'd keep them just for me.
Oh yes.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:40:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You want to point out shit, strawbaby, where was your voice last round when people crawled out of the fucking grave to vote (do ya think they got an email, huh?), that is after fighting their way past a shit ton of alters.
I didn't hear anyone raise a word in my defense then, so fuck off.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:39:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Aunt Jennifer's Tigers
Aunt Jennifer's tigers prance across a screen,
Bright topaz denizens of a world of green.
They do not fear the men beneath the tree;
They pace in sleek chivalric certainty.
Aunt Jennifer's fingers fluttering through her wool
Find even the ivory needle hard to pull.
The massive weight of Uncle's wedding band
Sits heavily upon Aunt Jennifer's hand.
When Aunt is dead, her terrified hands will lie
Still ringed with ordeals she was mastered by.
The tigers in the panel that she made
Will go on prancing, proud and unafraid.
-- Adrienne Rich (1929 --)
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:35:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
who cares....only him obviously
gayest contest ever
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:35:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It was Sunday, July 27th, 2008. James Dupont was found dead at the Riverside Docks. It appears he had his feet cemented then he was dumped into the water to die a watery death. But whom killed him and why?
________________________________________________
James Dupont, 34, has lived a life of crime and drug dealing, as well as being worked by the local mafia. Even though he was great at doing his job, he was failing to pay all money he made to the mafia, and he has been warned and almost caught many a times that if he was caught stealing from them, he would be sleeping with the fishies.
Today would be his last day being alive. As James worked a corner selling people the drugs they want, one of the people from the mafia spyed upon him and noticed that bits of money was being pocketed and the rest placed into an envelope. He was busted on the spot. The spy left to tell the boss what he seen and the boss didn't liked what he heard. He didn't like that he wasn't being paid in full. He didn't like people whom backstabbed him. After James worked the corner, he headed to the Riverside Warehouses to deliever the money he made, unknowning that the boss and few of is helpers awaited him.
As James approached the boss to deliver the cash, his helpers grab him by the arms. "Tsk tsk tsk" said the boss, "I have warned you plenty of times James, that if I catch you stealing from me, that you would pay the price."
"I don't know what you are talking about. The money is all there." said James.
"Oh really?...Then explain why one of my people watched you for over an hour, stealing money from me." said the boss. "James, I have caught you, and now you must sleep with the fishies. Get him out of my sight."
"Nooooooo!!! Please! Give me another chance!" screamed James as he was dragged out of the warehouse and off to the docks... James was warned that he should have paid in full, but now he has been delivered to his grave, he paid in full, with his life.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:35:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus,
Someone explain to me why I just posted half of my new story on Method's fucking post?
I'm going home early today.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:34:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tillman's vision blurred then cleared. He shut his eyes tight and tried to reason through the pain. When he opened them again the man was still there and running one equally yellow, black nailed, hand over his large bald head. His eyes and lips shone negative as if made from tar and when he spoke, broad teeth the color of rotting kelp glinted wet in his mouth.
"I got me a jar and a paint brush in the bag on the couch. Inside the jar is an acid I make from an old family recipe. In 30 seconds, I'm going to dip the paintbrush in it and then use it to remove your clothes. When I'm done, and you wake back up, I'm gonna use it to remove the rest of your skin. All in all it should take about two hours to finish. The acid works slow. It smokes and makes skin bubble like a mother fucker but it takes awhile before I can actually scrape the goo that used to be your skin off. After that, I'm going to use everything I never learned about dealing with pain against you. You got some bit of high retardation to utter, do it now. You ain't going to be able to do anything but slobber blood after I cut your tongue to ribbons."
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:32:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There are people who need people to need them. The reason you don't understand is because you're not one of those people. You'd use me and then toss me away like a paper bag if that's what it came down to. God fucked you, my friend. You're just smart enough so it would hurt you to do that, and just hard enough so you'd go ahead and do it anyway. You wouldn't be able to help yourself. If I was lying on the beach there and screaming for help, you'd walk over me as if I was between you and your goddamn Tower.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:28:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I am the fucking Alpha-Omega Male. I'm a God Smacked Cataclysm. Prophets read the end of the world in my shit and psychics heads explode when I walk past. I'm Judas. I'm Timothy and Cat. I'm a thousand daggers in the night. I'm mother fucking Skeletor. I'm a 300 mile diameter nickel-iron world killer hurtling across the big black and you're Earth you dumb shit!"
Normally the murder in the eyes of the yellow man would have sent Tillman scurrying for the nearest deep dark hole but all he could do is what anyone crucified to a wall can do; scream and urinate.
The yellow man blinked, smiled and continued:
"I want you to know how deep inside my gullet you already are. I want you to understand that every bad thing that has happened to you before now was a blessing in comparison to the hell I'm going to visit on your ass, and when they scrape the rotting bits of you from off that wall and bury you in some forgotten piece of ant ridden ground, I'll be there. When the earth herself rejects you and spits the pieces back up like the bile that you are, I'll be there to grind them under my heel until your only legacy is a handful of filthy forgotten atoms."
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:28:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
From http://www.ubersite.com/m/92349
"People can now be disqualified for breaking the spirit of Ubermadness fairness. The Spirit of Ubermadness Fairness is defined in the following way: The winner and loser on any post on Ubermadness should be based upon an anonymous vote based upon the better entry, with no tricks.
Attempting to solicit votes has been addressed before, but the spirit definition has been introduced to cover things like what Method did last time around, entering his post with a fake image, making it look like there were two entry 1's, or the other time where he put up his opponent's post on the Uberboard and said to go vote for it to create a negative backlash, and generally doing anything in his power to create confusion."
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:27:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's not that I don't like Jack. I do like his writing. It's that I don't like that rules are made and then exceptions to those rules are made. No shit everyone knew who the last matchup was. That's not the point. The point is that Jack has in the past, and continues to "out" his postings for UM. It's a giant shitfest anyway, though, isn't it? I mean...even after this wonderous piece of work Method churned out using little more than his pre-cum and some olive oil, people know who posted what. But again...this is why Method shouldn't be allowed to play.
The only fucking retarded person/people around here are the ones who ignore Jack's implications. Just because he's not waving a flag around, saying the exact words "HEY, THAT'S MY POST" doesn't fucking mean shit and you know it.
Method votes against Jack and Jack says: http://www.ubersite.com/m/98459#2305021
He AGAIN says that several of Method's known alters have voted against him: http://www.ubersite.com/m/98459#2305473
And again: http://www.ubersite.com/m/98459#2305605
But I guess this doesn't count?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:26:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Large engines are usually multicylinder to reduce pulsations from individual firing strokes, with more than one piston attached to a more complex crankshaft; but many small engines, such as those found in mopeds or garden machinery, are single cylinder and use only a single piston, simplifying crankshaft design. The crankshaft has a linear axis about which it rotates, typically with several bearing journals riding on replaceable bearings held in the engine block, the main bearings. As the crankshaft undergoes a great deal of sideways load from each cylinder in a multicylinder engine, it must be supported by several such bearings, not just one at each end; this was also a factor in the rise of V8 engines with their shorter crankshafts in preference to straight-8 engines, whose long crankshafts suffered from an unacceptable amount of flex when engine designs began using a higher compression ratio and improved-breathing over head valves allowed higher RPM's. High performance engines will often have more main bearings than their lower performance cousins, for this reason. In addition, to convert the reciprocating motion into rotation, the crankshaft has "crank throws" or "crank pins", additional bearing surfaces whose axis is offset from that of the crank, to which the "big ends" of the connecting rods from each cylinder attach. The distance of the axis of the crank throws from the axis of the crankshaft determines the piston stroke measurement, and thus engine displacement; a common way to increase the low-RPM torque of an engine is to increase the stroke. This also increases the reciprocating vibration, however, limiting the high RPM capability of the engine; in compensation, it improves the low speed operation of the engine, as the longer intake stroke through smaller valve(s) results in greater turbulence and mixing of the intake charge. For this reason, even such high speed production engines as current Honda engines are classified as long-stroke, in that the stroke is larger than the diameter of the cylinder bore. In production V or flat engines, neighboring connecting rods attach side by side to the same crank throw, simplifying crank design.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:26:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Removing Frances debris to cost nearly $38 million
By Sandra Hong and Jennifer Sorentrue
Palm Beach Post Staff Writer
Friday, September 17, 2004
An army of trucks fanned out across the Treasure Coast on Thursday, hauling away felled trees and branches that have clogged local streets for nearly two weeks.
An estimated 2 million cubic yards of debris was left behind in Martin and St. Lucie counties after Hurricane Frances crawled through the area. The cleanup in the two counties is expected to cost about $37.7 million.
Crews working 12-hour shifts started picking up the yard waste last week, and the piles are quickly reaching mammoth proportions at collection areas, where it will be mulched in St. Lucie and mulched or burned in Martin.
In Martin, officials expect streets to be debris-free by Oct. 31. In St. Lucie, it could take several months to get everything picked up, officials said.
"We're collecting more and more debris each day," said Martin County Engineer Don Donaldson, who is heading the county's debris removal. "We want to have a clean county by Thanksgiving."
Meanwhile, despite the proximity of Jeanne, which has been vacillating between hurricane and tropical-storm status, residents across the Treasure Coast were being asked to set trash in front of their homes as quickly as possible.
In St. Lucie County, officials are making plans to extend collection hours if Jeanne moves west towards Florida's east coast.
"We're not going to stop operations," said Larry Nadeau, Port St. Lucie's public works project manager. "If there's a need to suspend (pickup), we will advise people."
Those in unincorporated parts of St. Lucie County were being told much the same.
"We're moving as much debris as we can right now," said Don West, St. Lucie County Public Works director. "We've got more companies to bring in more resources if necessary."
Both counties as well as the city of Port St. Lucie have hired private firms that specialize in emergency debris removal to eliminate the Frances debris.
Martin County
The debris removal in Martin County is expected to cost about $20 million, Donaldson said. The Florida Department of Transportation will pay to remove debris along state roads, and Donaldson hopes the county will be reimbursed by the Federal Emergency Management Agency for the majority of its costs, but he said the county will likely have to pick up some of the tab.
That operation will include more than 200 trucks canvassing Martin every day and will include two visits to each neighborhood. Once trash is removed from a street, crews will return to that same street within 10 to 20 days, Donaldson said.
About 1.2 million cubic yards of debris is expected to be removed from Martin, and by Thursday about 80,000 cubic yards of yard waste had been dropped at a 40-acre site east of County Road 76A north of Interstate 95, Donaldson said.
The debris being removed includes items other than yard waste that many residents have dragged out to the curb, such as soggy carpet and crumbling pieces of ceiling.
The county will start burning its heap of yard waste over the weekend. Construction debris will be taken to the Martin County Landfill.
The county is also looking at opening a second drop-off point in Hobe Sound near Bridge Road. Trash deposited there would be mulched, Donaldson said.
Port St. Lucie
Port St. Lucie estimates at least 250,000 cubic yards of debris will be collected and that its cleanup will cost $5.7 million. City-contracted crews picked up 25,000 cubic yards in one day alone, Nadeau said, and only about a fifth of the city has been canvassed so far.
Port St. Lucie officials are disputing the amount of money FEMA is offering to reimburse them. The city could end up paying $2 million out of its own coffers for the cleanup.
"That would be a large liability left to the city," said Bonnie Dyga, assistant city manager. "We're not satisfied with that."
Earlier this week, the city wrote a letter to the FEMA office in Orlando, pleading for more assistance.
Port St. Lucie's trash is being mulched and shredded into wood chips at two sites — Lennard Road near U.S. 1, the future site of a Sam's Club, and Juliet Avenue and Cameo Boulevard.
St. Lucie County
St. Lucie County estimates it will cost $12 million to clean up about 600,000 cubic yards of storm-related damage. About 150,000 yards have been collected so far, West said.
The county is staging its operations at the St. Lucie County International Airport and the fairgrounds at Okeechobee and Midway roads.
Also aiding in the cleanup effort is the St. Lucie County Landfill, which has extended its hours.
"We're letting three to four times the amount of garbage coming in than normal," said Solid Waste Director Leo Cordeiro.
The landfill, which normally handles about 250 tons of yard waste a day, is now handling up to 500 tons, Cordeiro said.
The amount of construction debris and household garbage has tripled, up to 900 tons and 1,800 tons a day, respectively.
To cut down on traffic, residents are being asked not to drop off trash at the landfill, where waits can last up to an hour, Cordeiro said.
If people do bring their own waste to the landfill, they also would have to pay the per-ton fees of $32 for household garbage, $19 for construction debris and $20 for yard waste.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:26:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
SONOFABITCH!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:24:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Brown-throated Three-toed Sloth (Bradypus variegatus)
Ubatuba, São Paulo, Brazil
September 2000
The Brown-throated 3-toed Sloth is the most common and widespread of the family being found from Honduras to northern Argentina. They weigh over 4 kilos and are strictly tree dwellers descending to the ground only to defecate every 2 to 8 days. (Note that, while 2-toed sloths have 2 toes on their fore limbs they have 3 toes on their hind limbs.)
Their diet consists entirely of leaves so they are restricted to areas of evergreen (mainly Cecropia) forest.
Because of this diet, 3-toed Sloths have a compartmentalised stomach and the leaves are broken down by fermentation in both the stomach and the intestines. The stomach and its contents weigh up to a third of the sloth's total weight. As an adaption to the low nutrient content of the leaves, sloths have a low metabolic rate and a low body temperature.
For this reason they favour the crowns of trees that receive the sun so that, when resting, they can regulate their body heat by moving in and out of the sun.
Mind you, they move so slowly that it is difficult to tell when they are resting and when they are not.
Another of the results of their slow movement is that their backs are covered with algae. This is a symbiotic relationship since the algae flourish in the forest humidity while the sloth benefits from the camouflage that the algae provide. The sloth's fur is also home to small moths.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:24:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
DIE SIMON DIE!
From http://www.ubersite.com/m/92349
"People can now be disqualified for breaking the spirit of Ubermadness fairness. The Spirit of Ubermadness Fairness is defined in the following way: The winner and loser on any post on Ubermadness should be based upon an anonymous vote based upon the better entry, with no tricks.
Attempting to solicit votes has been addressed before, but the spirit definition has been introduced to cover things like what Method did last time around, entering his post with a fake image, making it look like there were two entry 1's, or the other time where he put up his opponent's post on the Uberboard and said to go vote for it to create a negative backlash, and generally doing anything in his power to create confusion."
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:22:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Grilled Tandoori Chicken Recipe courtesy Emeril Lagasse, 2001
Show: Emeril Live
Episode: Indian Barbecue
1 (4 to 4 1/2 pound) chicken, cut into 8 pieces, skin removed
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/2 cup chopped white onion
2 tablespoons chopped garlic
2 tablespoons chopped ginger
1 teaspoon finely chopped serrano or jalapeno pepper, stem and seeds removed
1 tablespoon paprika
11/2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon turmeric
1 teaspoon ground coriander
1 teaspoon garam masala
1/2 teaspoon cayenne
1/2 cup plain yogurt
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
With a fork, prick holes in the chicken pieces. Using a knife, cut diagonal slices 1-inch apart, and 1/2-inch deep into the larger pieces. Place the chicken in a baking dish.
In a blender, combine the oil, onion, garlic, ginger, pepper, and process on high speed to a paste. Add the paprika, salt, cumin, turmeric, coriander, garam masala, and cayenne, and process until well blended. Add the yogurt and lemon juice, and process to a smooth sauce, scraping down the sides to combine all the ingredients. Pour the marinade over the chicken. Turn to coat evenly, rubbing the marinade into the holes and slits. Cover tightly with plastic wrap, refrigerate for at least 4 hours, and up to 24 hours, turning occasionally.
Preheat a grill.
Remove the chicken from the marinade. Place on the grill and cook for 8 to 10 minutes on the first side. Turn, baste as needed, and cook on the second side for 8 to 10 minutes. Turn and continue cooking, as necessary until the chicken is cooked through, but still tender, about 25 to 30 minutes. (Alternately, bake in a preheated 425 degrees F oven on a baking sheet for 35 minutes.)
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:21:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
From http://www.ubersite.com/m/92349
"People can now be disqualified for breaking the spirit of Ubermadness fairness. The Spirit of Ubermadness Fairness is defined in the following way: The winner and loser on any post on Ubermadness should be based upon an anonymous vote based upon the better entry, with no tricks.
Attempting to solicit votes has been addressed before, but the spirit definition has been introduced to cover things like what Method did last time around, entering his post with a fake image, making it look like there were two entry 1's, or the other time where he put up his opponent's post on the Uberboard and said to go vote for it to create a negative backlash, and generally doing anything in his power to create confusion."
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:21:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Abstract
Many of our ideas of where mantle plumes originate, how they interact with the convecting mantle and how plates have moved in the past rely on interpretations of the Hawaiian-Emperor hotspot track. One reason this volcanic lineament has attained this conceptual stature lies in its prominent bend at 43 Ma. The bend, which separates the westward trending Hawaiian islands from the northward-trending Emperor seamounts has no equal among the Earth's hotspot tracks; it is the clearest physical manifestation of a change in plate motion in a fixed hotspot reference frame. However, paleomagnetic data available from Suiko Seamount and Detroit Seamount of the Emperor trend (Tarduno and Cottrell, EPSL, 1997) suggest that the Emperor seamounts might primarily record drift of the Hawaiian hotspot in the mantle. ODP Leg 197 was designed to test this idea through drilling on Emperor trend seamounts. Record-setting basement penetration at five holes drilled during the leg has allowed us to both test this idea and learn more about the source and melting history of the Hawaiian hotspot. The paleolatitudes suggested from our preliminary paleomagnetic analysis of basement cores clearly differ from the latitude of Hawaii. The values are consistent with the hypothesis that the Hawaiian hotspot moved southward from 81 to 43 Ma at rates of 30 to 50 mm yr-1. These values, which are within the range of velocities typical of lithospheric plates, force us to reconsider the cause of the Hawaiian-Emperor bend, rates of mantle convection and Pacific plate reconstructions based on the fixed hotspot assumption. This motion also precludes use of hotspots as a reference frame to calculate true polar wander, estimates of which may be too large by a factor of 5 when compared with global paleomagnetic data sets (Tarduno and Smirnov, EPSL, 2001).
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:15:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
BAN THEM ALL
TASTE THE DEFEAT!
(And someone please stab FunnayasCancer in the fucking face with a frozen solid dirty tampon)
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:07:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, I like Jack very much!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:03:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:52:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
"And if there had no been double elimination I would have already won this thing, when I was at 6-0 and everyone else had a loss," Jack said, in a tone which Circe immediately pointed out was 'smug.'
===============
I think the tone of the tourney would have been a bit different from the start if people hadn't of had that buffer.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:03:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 12:42:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
anyone who takes this contest seriously is a fag
-------------------
You mean by like making posts on it?
(of course commenting on said posts is cool, right?)
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:03:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:50:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
First of all...
Why the fuck does anyone care? AGAIN: IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'S A PRIZE.
You guys are homos.
And secondly...
Jack, you need to read the goddamn rules. You're DQed and should have been long ago.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92349
And I quote: "You are NOT allowed to reveal your identity or the identity of your opponent intentionally. "
Now Snark. I have no beef with you. You be coo. But when are you going to get off your fucking ass and enforce the goddamn rules?
~~~
Ok. Identify.
Jack didn't out who the competitors in this match-up are, because it's common knowledge. Jack and Beef are in the final, nothing to out there.
Secondly, Jack obviously lied when he said he was #1. He didn't reveal shit, and you know it. If you're going to be this goddamn nitpicky, when anyone less retarded than Electro coulda figured this shit out, then you've got something wrong with you.
My God. WE GET IT. YOU DON'T LIKE JACK.
But if you're gonna be this goddamn smug an asshole about getting him DQed, you're more of a prick than he is.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-02-21 14:02:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:50:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
First of all...
Why the fuck does anyone care? AGAIN: IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'S A PRIZE.
You guys are homos.
And secondly...
Jack, you need to read the goddamn rules. You're DQed and should have been long ago.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92349
And I quote: "You are NOT allowed to reveal your identity or the identity of your opponent intentionally. "
Now Snark. I have no beef with you. You be coo. But when are you going to get off your fucking ass and enforce the goddamn rules?
===========================
Where were they clearly broken?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:52:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"And if there had no been double elimination I would have already won this thing, when I was at 6-0 and everyone else had a loss," Jack said, in a tone which Circe immediately pointed out was 'smug.'
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:51:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:42:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
I should be competing in this thing, not running it. Uberlords should be able to defend their title.
--
But if we could do that then you wouldn't be here, because after winning UMII I would have destroyed you in UMIII and--
*ducks head and runs like hell*
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:50:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
First of all...
Why the fuck does anyone care? AGAIN: IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'S A PRIZE.
You guys are homos.
And secondly...
Jack, you need to read the goddamn rules. You're DQed and should have been long ago.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/92349
And I quote: "You are NOT allowed to reveal your identity or the identity of your opponent intentionally. "
Now Snark. I have no beef with you. You be coo. But when are you going to get off your fucking ass and enforce the goddamn rules?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:49:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm a virgin = (
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:45:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:42:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
I should be competing in this thing, not running it. Uberlords should be able to defend their title.
Also, their should be boobies.
Lots and lots of boobies.
=====================================
You'll have to settle for pussies.
Lots and lots of pussies.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:44:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:30:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
But haven't you heard the buzz? horse87 is supposed to be my alter. Ask Method and JonnyX
-------
I've never said that. I've talked to horse87 before about car stuff, he knows his shit.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:42:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:27:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, if anything, we've guaranteed that poor Snark will never, EVER volunteer to run UM again.
====================
I never volunteered. I was asked to do it.
I would run it again but not with the current rule set.
The contest is way to long and I've been soloing it since round 4.
I'm way to stupid to deal with swiss style double elim shit.
I should be competing in this thing, not running it. Uberlords should be able to defend their title.
Also, their should be boobies.
Lots and lots of boobies.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:39:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:27:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, if anything, we've guaranteed that poor Snark will never, EVER volunteer to run UM again.
---------
I *TRIED* to warn him.
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:38:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 12:42:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
anyone who takes this contest seriously is a fag
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:32:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:30:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
As BLITZKREIG_BOB just said,
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:26:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is all an elaborate head-fuck.
---------
Sure, latch on to that convenient excuse, Hack, I mean Jack
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:30:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahaha
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-02-21 13:00:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
1-800 TEEN-SUICIDE HELP LINE
although for some people on Uber, I'd recommend
1-800 TEEN SUICIDE-HELP LINE
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info)