Yesterday's Holiday is Named Fat Tuesday for a Reason (566 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.25 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <romiustexis.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2007-02-21 20:37:05 EST
Yesterday's Holiday is Named Fat Tuesday for a Reason
I am not sure what it is about Generation Y. All you fucking MySpacer's out there just love to expose yourself.
Back in the day exposing yourself was dirty. It made you a cheap slut. Even if you were "just playing office with your stepbrothers."
I'm not sure what part of office includes you getting finger banged by a semi related family member, but who am I to complain? I haven't fingered banged a girl since you left, so I wished I had remained in contact with you more after my father left your Mom.
Sorry, I digressed. I digressed into sexually inappropriate memories of my former stepsister. But if your step-sister was as hot as my step-sister then you would too. Especially if you finger fucked her on more than one occasion.
I bring up how my step-sister used to molest me for a good reason. When you read about step-brother sister fucking you generally get a bit sick to your stomach. You should, because it's dirty. And it was the dirty part that was so exciting. At least for my step-sister.
If it wasn't for how disgusting you thought I was and how dirty it would be to have your step-brother finger bang you in the back of the pickup bed on the way home from your Aunt, I would have never been introduced to the velvety pleasures of the female anatomy until I was at least 20 years old.
Not like this new generation. For them sex is not dirty. But public. Everything has to be displayed and shared. For them somehow nothing is real unless someone else is watching it. Because TV is the only way these kids relate to the world.
I wanted to hang out and party on Fat Tuesday because I support Katrina victims. And because I like getting drunk in public. Not because I have some kind of sick voyeur fetish. Instead I payed a 10 dollar cover to stand in line. The celebration at Fat Tuesday's on Mill Avenue consisted of paying a cover and then waiting in line for an hour and a half to get inside the actual building with overpriced frozen girlie drinks.
I never feel comfortable in lines or around groups of people. There is something unnatural and bothersome to me in gatherings of people. So many of them. Happy. My EX used to get all pissed about how I would embarrass her in line at Safeway. But I only did it to make all the people in line feel as uncomfortable as I felt near them. And I think it worked.
So while my friends and I were content to simply drink a beer and complain to each other about the slow moving line so many of the Y'ers were not. Instead they got their nasty on. That's Generation Y. Always positive. Gen Y has zero attention span and no desire to see the dark lining of any cloud. Bored a few fat girls danced for us boys. The "dancing" the girls performed was the least dirty thing you could hope for. And by dancing I mean mimicking things paid hookers are often too timid to try.
You see the attraction men find from watching women lick each other or fake anally penetrate each other is the the thrill of dirty behavior. When you copy that "dirty" behavior so self-consciously it completely ruins it for the true pervert. You can't "own" degrading behavior. It ceases to be degrading at that point.
But the only thing that really makes dirty dancing unwatchable is fat chicks. Fat chicks have completely taken over the promiscuous display of their generation. I realize most Americans are fat, but I thought we all were superficial enough to agree that only attractive people should be allowed to flaunt their stuff in public.
Last night at Fat Tuesday violated that agreement, and thereby lived up to it's name. Fat Tuesday with its massive veined breasts exposed. Fat chicks grinding away and hopping. Red lined bellies from too tight pants exposed by too short tops. Tops that wanted to be lifted at any excuse. Tempe is not New Orleans. Nobody should expect that the cheap beads they give out to everyone at the entrance of a corporate sponsored sex-o-rama would be able to entice any of our Tempe girls to uncover.
But I was wrong about that. I was totally wrong. Also wrong about things like how fat chicks are actually human beings. Agents with desires. I had always assumed like most psychopaths that people so different from me have no human agency. They may jump like frogs when shocked with electricity, but not from an inner volition. To me fat humans had always seemed merely responsive to stimuli. See Big Mac. Insert Big Mac.
It's now all so disconcerting.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-22 16:47:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fat Tuesday = Fat Chicks...hello?
Submitted by DarthFaded (user info) at 2007-02-22 16:35:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How about some more about your step sister?
Submitted by tiaprae (user info) at 2007-02-22 11:47:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for completely grossing me out at work with step-sister violation and fatties.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-02-22 07:44:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This starts off really in the -2 Zone, but then turned around.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-02-22 06:55:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-02-22 00:45:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very professional
Submitted by jojo747 (user info) at 2007-02-22 00:16:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
you sound like a fag
Submitted by DarthFaded (user info) at 2007-02-21 22:28:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I went to Mardi Gras in New Orleans, or Nawlins' as the locals seem to need to call it, back in the days before Katrina when I was stationed at NAS Pensacola. Let me tell you...they should just change the name of it to the 7 day, Public, Drunken, Orgy.
The things I saw people doing on Balconies and in the street, was mind bending. And to be quite honest with you, I doubt that anyone there that wasn't Cajun could actually tell you what Mardi Gras was all about. To this day I don't even know.
I kind of relate my experience at Mardi Gras to having people from out of town come here to Los Angeles and want to visit Hollywood for the first time. You try to explain it, and you can kind of give them a general idea of what it is like, but realistically they won't REALLY understand until they see it for themself.
So yeah in a Nutshell, Mardi Gras celebrations are fucking out there... waaayyayyy out there...
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-02-21 22:18:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Funny.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-02-21 20:57:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i wanna fingerbang your step sister.
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2007-02-21 20:56:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heh