Don't Fuck With My Big Wheel (419 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.05 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Chuckdoggydogg (View user info) at 2007-02-22 00:29:28 EST
When I was 3 or 4 years old I had the coolest big wheel. It was fast and pimped out with awesome bumper stickers. I rode it around the neighborhood all day. I loved my big wheel.
One day I rode it to my friend Greg's house a few houses down. Did I decide to park it in his driveway? No. Did I park it on the sidewalk in front of his house? Nope. I decided that the best place to park it would be behind some teenager's car in a neighbor's driveway. Sounds like a good idea, doesn't it?
We were hanging out in my friend's front yard when the kid starts up his car and begins to back up towards my big wheel. By the time I see this it is too late to rethink my parking choice. I hear the plastic crunching, and it's all over. What a dick! That was my most prized possession. I run over to see the destruction. It's totaled. I run home and tell my mom, who bitches the kid out and makes him pay for it.
Even though he paid for it, we still hated him. What if I had been sitting on my big wheel? I wouldn't be sitting here bored, writing this shitty story. Greg came up with a brilliant plan to get him back.
I wasn't really sure what was going on when Greg says, "follow me, I found something." I follow him. We go into the neighbors backyard where we see the kid's car parked. O, now he decides to park it in the backyard. We go into a little barn in the back and see some cans of silver paint. Greg manages to open one and says,
Greg: "Lets paint his car"
Me: "ok, but we don't have any paint brushes"
Greg: "We can use this" (holds up a sponge)
Me: "you can't paint with a sponge, it wont work."
(for some reason I thought that paint could only be applied with a brush)
Greg: "Yes it will, I'll show you."
We walk up to the car, sponges in hand. Greg dips the sponge into the paint and paints a HUGE X across the side of the car. I dip my sponge, and half of my arm, into the paint and start to paint little designs. I had paint all over me.
We hear somebody coming, so we just run, leaving everything out. I go over to my grandpas house, who was the next door neighbor on the other side of Greg's house, because I don't want to go home with paint all over me. After seeing that I was covered with paint, he sends me home to face my parents. I feared that I would be yelled at, but my mom just cleans me up and I don't get in any trouble.
When the kid discovered our revenge plot, he was obviously pissed. He and his parents came over to bitch out my parents and to probably make them pay for the damage. My mom managed to flip it on them and bitched them out for not locking up that barn and allowing us access to hazardous material. She was pretty good at getting me out of trouble. They stopped their bitching and left, without me getting in trouble.
Our revenge plot was a complete success, without either one of us getting in trouble. I hope he learned that no one fuck's with my big wheel.
User Reviews
Submitted by eric_the_bread (user info) at 2007-02-22 18:59:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fo' reals man
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-22 15:53:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2007-02-22 12:44:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
well, pretty shitty writing, but I dig the thought behind the story.
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2007-02-22 12:44:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well, pretty shitty writing, but I dig the thought behind the story.
My mom rocked like that, too.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-02-22 08:30:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Our big wheels were more badass than yours. We had machine guns on them.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-22 08:01:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What was the point of this?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-02-22 07:52:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
There is no revenge sweeter than pouring a gallon of pink Dutch Boy over someone's new car.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-02-22 06:01:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
comment here (optional):http://www.ubersite.com/m/98992 (Warning NSFW-content linkwhore !)
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2007-02-22 04:20:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This... Was... The Most Touching Story........ Ever. *dies*
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-02-22 03:53:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I had one of those. It was pretty sweet.
Submitted by PhillipTheGreat (user info) at 2007-02-22 02:36:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
big wheel?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-02-22 01:58:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
WOOOOAAAAHHHH!!!! NEEDER WON OF U GOT IMMA TRUBBLE!?
LOLZ!!!
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-02-22 01:07:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i miss my bigwheel, it had that spring in it with a nub that flicked against the inner wheel that made it sound like a motor
the neighbor lady decided to remove it one day
that bitch
i totally hated her
Submitted by DarthFaded (user info) at 2007-02-22 00:51:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know why but I envisioned your mom as Eric Cartman's mom....
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-02-22 00:50:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
meh
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-02-22 00:49:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
feature painting well before it's time.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-22 00:44:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Same thing happened to me, only it was red paint and I got caught red handed and got 10 years. That's a hard way to grow up when you're 6 years old and a girl.
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2007-02-22 00:41:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Just to balance. it wasn't that bad, but it wasn't great.
Submitted by BadSamaritan87 (user info) at 2007-02-22 00:39:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Pretty lame.