A Lost rant. The TV show Lost. Pointless for non-Lost fans (781 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.5 on 45 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by FartSmeller (View user info) at 2007-02-23 10:02:06 EST
I'm sad. Why? Because the show used to be GREAT. I mean great with all caps. They were building a mystery and setting up back stories and drawing me in. But, after two and a half seasons, after paying for two seasons on DVD, after buying the Lost companion book, after hours reading the websites, well, no money shot. The key to a good mystery is a great "ah ha!" moment. And this show has none of those. This episode really proves that this show is on it's way down.
First of all, is the stewardess a retard? By that I mean, after being kidnapped, did they do some sort of surgery on her that shorted her a few chromosomes? Because that's the only explanation for her acting like an idiot.
I just love it how she strolls over smiling, "Hi, Jack!" Dude, do you remember being KIDNAPPED?! Do you notice that Jack is IMPRISONED here by a bunch of who-knows-if-they're-crazy people right here?! Let's talk about what the eff happened to you. Or, not. You could just act shocked and hurt that Jack is weirded out and then stroll off with your group and set us up with fifteen more questions to replace the one little tiny itsy bitsy miniscule answer we got (that answer being the fact that the stewardess is still alive).
Second, Kate's conversation with Karl. I haven't been that unsatisfied since the time I tried whacking off to a picture of Rosie O'Donnell. I know personally that if I finally got the chance to ask some dude what the last 70 odd days of my life had all been about, including why people were being kidnapped, what the black smoke might be all about, what the hatches are, who the "others" are, and maybe just maybe just maybe if there was a way OFF THE ISLAND I'd be satisfied with this conversation right here:
"What have you done with all the kids you took?"
"Gave them a better life."
"Better than what?"
"Better than yours."
*cue Kate giving pensive look
*cut scene
AND?! AAAAAANNNNND?!?!
At this point, I'd be letting ol' Karl know in no uncertain terms that it would be in his best interest to tell me every single thing that I wanted to know. I literally screamed "AND?!" at the television. But of course, in the interest of keeping the ridiculous suspense going, we'll just stick with the same old contrived, clipped dialog scenes.
Third, the psychic asian whoreI met while flying a kite plotline. wow. Yes, I meant to put that "wow" in all lowercase because that's how unenthused I am. We now know (but don't actually know) what Jack's tattoo means. What a burning question. It's been keeping me up nights. But now it's answered (but not really answered) and I can breathe again. But, in true Lost fashion, while we were given a tidbit of info, it was replaced with umpteen dozen more questions.
What is the true meaning of the words in his tattoo? Why was it such a big deal that that chick "mark him". What does that mean, "she can read people?" Why did the little beer-selling kid run away from him? Why did a group of five Thai men beat the hell out of Jack over a tattoo?!
And so on.
These things being said, I'm out of willpower to continue with this ridiculous program. What started as a keenly written, ingeniously delivered mystery has turned into a soap opera set on an island. The reason I'm so upset is that I really loved the show. I was a Lost fanatic. I have a t-shirt with the numbers on it, for chrissakes. But, for every "answer" we get, there lurk twenty more questions and it's not a fair or good way to deliever a program to loyal viewers.
Like I said, the key to a good mystery is a great "ah ha" moment. And Lost, sadly, is woefully short on those.
User Reviews
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2007-02-24 22:50:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to be totally psycho about Lost. Now I'm just mildly interested. Heroes is much better this season.
I wrote an article similar to this about Grey's Anatomy on another site.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2007-02-24 16:26:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-02-23 19:13:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Turn on Heroes.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-02-23 22:20:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lost is a pile of balls. So was Prison Break. I watched both for about 6 episodes, then got bored of waiting for something to happen. Same with 24.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-02-23 19:27:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
TheUniter is a dick.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-02-23 19:19:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-02-23 19:13:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Turn on Heroes.
Submitted by HadNadin (user info) at 2007-02-23 18:11:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've said ten times and I'll say it again:-
LOST SUCKS! I hate Lost and Grey's Anatomy and all the filth on TV these days. I will NEVER watch any of this garbage as long as I can draw breath. A thousand curses to shows like it, and another thousand to the worthless executives who made it. They can all go to the devil himself for all I care!!!
Da** slackards.
Submitted by iMoh69 (user info) at 2007-02-23 17:53:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i agree that this week's episode sucked complete ass. but the week before made up for it. im pretty sure that desmon's ability has something to do with the fat dude's <kind of similar> ability. remember when he saw the guy from the mental hospital.
i hope that the tattoo's dont mean anything significant because it would just ruin everything.
the creators already said that it's not a dream and they are on earth and its not all just random magic; they're not at hogwarts or any thing like that. thats good, but sometimes, thats the only possible explanation. like last week's episode with desmond. the whole time i was thinking that the flash back was just desmond who passed out in a drunken rage and it was just a dream.
the "others" have been following these guys for a while and have chosen that plane to crash. how else would they know everything about jack and his father and all that. how else would they make the 108 min timer beep the same way as desmond's microwave.
i hope it gets really good really fast.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2007-02-23 17:32:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I quit watching when they killed off Adebesi... I mean... Mr. Echo.
Submitted by Girlwithaclue (user info) at 2007-02-23 16:20:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am also a "Lost" fanatic. The show has definitely started to waiver lately. I think that these episodes are probably building us up to some other really big and strange "Island" thing. I think it wll probably have something to do with Desmonds new found ability. I still cant figure out why we needed to know what the tattoo ment.... Lost me there. Ha Ha.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-02-23 16:04:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah, like slapping each other on the ass and saying "good game"!!!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-23 16:01:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Where would they get THAT idea?
Is it because in every picture we have our arms around each other?
That's not gay...we're "athletes". It's totally acceptable.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2007-02-23 15:41:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-23 14:23:14 (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh, I definitely think JD and that black dude - despite his marriage- couldn't be more gayer.
But JD's gay is a funny gay...like spooner and Zoidberg wish they could be.
Also, JD's gay still allows him to almost get chicks.
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People say the same thing about you and that Nitty guy.
Submitted by paul_anthony (user info) at 2007-02-23 15:06:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I literally screamed "AND?!" at the television"
__________
I'm a fan of lost it was awesome escapism TV, I am not enjoying where this series seems to be going but Give them a bit of faith man!
As you said the writers made an excellent 2 and a half series, just see what they do with the new episodes before you write it off....
They could redeem themselves...
Submitted by jade_digitalmedia (user info) at 2007-02-23 14:42:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i most definatly agree with you there dear. it reminds me a lot of the x-files, at some point you just go 'oh for christ's sake that's fucking it i can't watch this shit anymore!'
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-23 14:23:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh, I definitely think JD and that black dude - despite his marriage- couldn't be more gayer.
But JD's gay is a funny gay...like spooner and Zoidberg wish they could be.
Also, JD's gay still allows him to almost get chicks.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2007-02-23 13:47:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i read rumors of a movie here and there, but i doubt it. but yeah, every single character was genius. everything about that show was brilliant.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-02-23 13:35:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i was really disappointed when i found out Arrested Development was cancelled forever. the characters in that show are pure genius. god i wish they would bring it back....
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-23 13:30:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But, for every "answer" we get, there lurk twenty more questions and it's not a fair or good way to deliever a program to loyal viewers.
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This is gonna be the last season, and it's for the reason that you just mentioned.
The writers are addicted to this crap, they can't just answer it and leave it be. People are just tired of watching, I know I am.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-02-23 12:54:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
CBS is shooting a pilot called Babylon Fields about a town on Long Island filled with zombies. Like a zombie soap opera.
And another one about an exocist called Demons.
Submitted by mitchmarron (user info) at 2007-02-23 12:51:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lost: not as good as season1, but still good.
I'd agree that the whole tattoo arc was nonsensical.
Still, last week's episode was pretty damn solid, if only for the whole "wtf is going on with desmond" arc. Prescient abilities?? pretty freaking badass if you ask me. And the fact that charlie was who he was trying to save the whole time.... solid episode all around.
It's been more hit and miss this season, I definitely agree, but still good enough to watch.
Office: They did a great job with the US version so far, apart from a streak of really bad 3-4 episodes last season. They're picking up the quality again this season. The first season of the UK version is still unrivaled though, and I doubt it ever will be by its US counterpart.
Extras: really hit and miss... out of the 6 episodes, I'd say the Ben Stiller episode is the only one I've watched more than once.
As to TV sucking?
The Shield, 30 Rock, the Office and Lost provide all the TV entertainment I have time for anyway.
I'm actually surprised this rant is about Lost, and not other once solid shows that have almost completely hit rock bottom (family guy, 24, ER to name a few.)
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2007-02-23 12:31:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=257qRKYDiWI
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2007-02-23 12:12:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:52:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
what i meant to say is, awkward situations can be funny if done a couple times, but when you make a whole show of nothing but awkward situations, it gets real stupid real fast.
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yeah, and all you'd have to do is point to the american Office to prove your point. but again, Extras just finished its second season and they were both funny. granted, they're only 6 epsiodes each, so its not 22 like the office. but Curb is pretty much all awkward situations, and thats a great show and its 4 or 5 seasons in. i think if you do it right, it can stay funny. larry david is a genius though, and so is that chubby fuck in extras. i think Extras is funny too because of all the guest stars who poke fun at themselves. ben kingsly was too funny. and david bowie met the main character in a VIP section of a club and sang a song calling him a pathtic little fat man which was hilarious, and awkward.
i still say Arrested Development is THE funniest comedy ever. and always sunny in philadelphia is great too.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:52:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what i meant to say is, awkward situations can be funny if done a couple times, but when you make a whole show of nothing but awkward situations, it gets real stupid real fast.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:47:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
my girl isnt. she's so smitten with me i think she may be mental.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:44:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ALL WOMEN ARE CHEATING WHORES!
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:34:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:18:55 (#)
Ranking: 1
ps- The Office really fucking sucks. The Shield is pretty sweet, but The Office... terrible. what kind of a sense of humor do you have to have (or not have) to find that stuff funny? awkward situations are almost never funny. just really stupid.
=-=-=
i'll disagree. awkward situations are almost always funny. if you watch Extras on HBO, you'd see what im talking about (or at least i hope you'd see. but we all have different senses of humor). its written by the two blokes that created the british office, and its ALL awkward-based comedy. the first season of the office was hilarious, but i think they lost a little of the magic they had going.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:27:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Shlongy, please tell me you don't watch Scrubs. That show is for the gays.
What? I watch Scrubs! Now you tell me!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:18:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i didn't see the last episode and it looks like i missed a whole lot. i'll have to download it now. i am also getting annoyed with getting a tiny bit of an answer every show and then getting 20 more questions to go along with it. i wonder if they actually have a story or they are just making up the 20 new questions so they can pick one to make up an answer for at any time when writing a new show. that way they'll always have something to start with. and then when they finally end the show, nothing will be answered and we'll find out they never really had a real story and they were just fucking with us all along.
ps- The Office really fucking sucks. The Shield is pretty sweet, but The Office... terrible. what kind of a sense of humor do you have to have (or not have) to find that stuff funny? awkward situations are almost never funny. just really stupid.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:02:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy, please tell me you don't watch Scrubs. That show is for the gays.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:54:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:20:04 (#)
Ranking: 1
Only two shows on TV worth watching. The Shield and The Office. Everything esle these days blows.
=-=-=
the office has been lacking lately.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:54:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Shlongy has never even watched 30 seconds of "Lost" in it's entire run.
There's a reason for that. Network TV- with the exception of NBC Thursdays between 8pm -10pm - blows.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:52:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:20:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
do you enjoy being pimped by the networks? watching dental floss commercials so you can floss the tartar off the cantaloupe in your head.
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Best review ever.
And Maddog, I understand the point of this website. I'm saying that it's ridiculous to tell people you "talk" to on here to get out and enjoy life while you yourself are sitting in front of a computer.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:49:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, but the correct answer is "WHY IS THIS SHOW SO STUPID?? WHY WHY WHY?? WTF IS WITH A MAN IN A POLAR BEAR SUIT WORKING FOR PIRATES??? WHY IS THE FAT RETARD STILL FAT?? I WANT TO HURT MYSELF!"
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:41:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm not sure what point we are up to in australia, plus i missed most of pervious series
i did think it odd that when captured by the others jack and swarthy cunt and the caucasian slut in the dress dien't say "what the fuck is going on here", rather they just stubbonly refused to cooperate
the bit i'm up to is where they show jack the baseball game on tv
i'm hoping something BIG will happen next episode
but if i could download the whole finished show that would be good
but igather it isn't finished
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:40:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:14:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:06:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
Quit sucking on the glass teat, get off your dead ass and enjoy some life that isn't 2-D pixels
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I love the irony of you typing that sentence right there while staring at a fucking computer screen while critiquing people you don't know on the internet.
Think about it.
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The whole IDEA of this place is to critique people you don't know, spanky.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:29:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
agreed - and I've seen every episode.. and although i'm still going to watch new episodes, im equally pissed about it thus far.
Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:20:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
do you enjoy being pimped by the networks? watching dental floss commercials so you can floss the tartar off the cantaloupe in your head.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:20:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Only two shows on TV worth watching. The Shield and The Office. Everything esle these days blows.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:14:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:06:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
Quit sucking on the glass teat, get off your dead ass and enjoy some life that isn't 2-D pixels
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I love the irony of you typing that sentence right there while staring at a fucking computer screen while critiquing people you don't know on the internet.
Think about it.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:10:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I got into the first season, way back when. I haven't watched it since.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:06:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Never watched it, but have pity.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:06:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Quit sucking on the glass teat, get off your dead ass and enjoy some life that isn't 2-D pixels.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:06:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That show has gone pear shaped. The first season I liked enough to download the whole thing, but ever since they got into the hatch the show has gotten shit. Can't wait for the next season of the shield.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:05:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I've been saying this since it started back up. It sucks now. We'll answer three questions on this week's episode. Well ... kind of. Ok, not really. Made you look!