I Kicked My Roommate in the Face and I Think it Got Her Off (3028 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: -0.93 on 93 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Fruity Tootie (View user info) at 2007-02-23 10:34:36 EST
OK, if you people don't like children's stories, I got one for you.
You know that scene from Braveheart where the guy gets the mace through his head? Yeah, that's how f*cked up I feel right now. I went out last night with my roommate and her friends with Katie (the lesbian), Becca, and Cole, my roomies and a good bunch of girls, and we got WASTED.
All I remember after the first half hour was making out with some Mexican, Cole flashing her way out of a ticket, and what happened when we finally got home. Becca and Cole went off to bed, and Katie and I sat on the couch watching Robot Chicken and laughing our asses off.
"Dude," she said, "I just gotta say, I love you."
"I love you too." I said.
"I know you're not gay and stuff." She said, "and last time was just, y'know, like experimenting for you, and that's cool. But still, you know, as a friend I love you. I'll always be f*cking here for you. Seriously. I would f*cking die for you, Toot."
"Totally." I said. "I always think we'll be real friends. Close friends."
She leaned in to kiss me, the smell of Bartles&James mixing with her tangerine lip balm. "Let me touch your feet."
"What?" I said, clamming up.
"Relax," she said, shoving me playfully, but still hard enough to shove me backwards off the arm of the couch. I giggled, my feet dangling in the air. "I'm just f*cking with you. It's from that Adam Sandler Happy Gilmore movie."
"They are, you know, cute though." She said. Grabbing my right foot, she tore off the fluffy pajama sock and licked up my sky blue pinky nail (they're rainbow colors). "So dainty."
"Shut the f*ck up," I chortled. I tried to kick, but she had me firmly by the ankle.
"This little piggy went to market!" She giggled. Putting the pinky between her lips, she hummed ecstatically. "This little piggy stayed home..."
"Dude!" I shouted, levelling a kick with the other leg. The sole of my foot caught her firmly on the nose, and blood trailed in streamers as she fell backwards on the the couch.
"F*ck" I said, clambering up as fast as my al dente-limbs would allow. She was doubled over, head between her knees. Blood was seeping into the couch cushions and pooling around her toes. "Jeez, Kate, I'm so--" Giggling, she shot out of her crouch and latched on to me like a lamprey, placing bloody kisses up my pajama shirt and my neck, crying "WEE WEE WEE ALL THE WAY HOME!"
"F*ck!" I shouted, shoving her back on to the couch, where she lay, giggling like a loon and drooling blood.
So that's where the story ends, Uber. I ran up to my room, locked the door, and fell asleep somewhere around where my futon should be. So what do you think, Uber? Should I apologize? Should I continue to let her play with my feet? Should I never get wasted with a lesbian again?
User Reviews
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-02-28 23:03:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by fruity_tootie (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:23:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:15:15 (#)
Ranking: -2
"You fucking mysoginists! All women are in your sck twisted minds are another entry into your spank bank! WELL FUCK YOU! Do you want me to cry? Do you want me to fucking cry over some fucking internet forum website? Well, job well done, you cocksucking mysoginist assholes!"
BUWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAaahahahahahahaaaaaaaa... haha... ha... oh man... hahaha... ha! Thanks for making my day cupcake. That's fucking awesome. I'd be happier if you killed yourself, but I'll settle for crying for now. It's Friday, afterall.
..oh man, she's crying..... that's motherfucking rich.
----
You think it's "rich", huh? well thats fucking great. you know how shitty my life is? my last hand modeling gig fell through because i've got a motherfucking hangnail. i'm failing stats, and mark is pressuring me to marry him. on top of that i have you fuckers telling me to show you my hole or take naked pictures of myself and my roommate.
well what if it were your motherfucking sister, or mother, or wife who were being objectified by a bunch of fucking internet mysoginists? oh, I guess that last one is ireelevant as none of you will ever MEET women in real life. the elf ladies in world of fuckign warcraft are the closest idiots lke you will ever get.
Well excuse the fuck out of ME if I stand up and defend myself. +2!!
-------
lol
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-27 13:30:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
missed this one
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-02-27 09:22:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
**** *** *** *** *** ****** *** ******* ****. * **** *** *** *** ** * ****** *****. **** ***** ****** ****.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-02-27 09:20:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
****
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2007-02-26 16:17:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:37:41 (#)
Ranking: -2
Drink bleach next time.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-02-25 19:38:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I look forward to future sex stories with your lesbian friend. This +2 comes with the assumption that they will appear here.
Submitted by jet_stream_nz (user info) at 2007-02-25 05:29:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
At least you didn't use up a decent user-name with this shitty alter.
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-02-25 04:51:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I imagine YOU to be a hot rock chick
for holy gods sake
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-02-25 04:50:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
She really is a goon..........but I imagine to be a hot rock chick so that is fine
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2007-02-24 18:49:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by fruity_tootie (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:12:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:08:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
i think you should have sex with her and take pictures and post them here.
---
You fucking mysoginists! All women are in your sck twisted minds are another entry into your spank bank! WELL FUCK YOU! Do you want me to cry? Do you want me to fucking cry over some fucking internet forum website? Well, job well done, you cocksucking mysoginist assholes!
rofl, terrible alter
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2007-02-24 02:40:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nobody loses a modeling job because they have a hangnail. Even if the photos are just of your hands, that what Photoshop is for.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2007-02-24 01:29:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
FIST HER ASS!!!!!!!!
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2007-02-23 23:33:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2007-02-23 15:20:36 (#)
Ranking: -2
Yes, even though about a thousand people die in the movie Braveheart, I remember the one guy who got maced in his head. Even though probably dozens of guys got maced in the head, I know exactly which one you are talking about. You stupid fuck.
**************************
I know exactly who she's talking about. The guy's lying in bed, Crazy Mel comes in on a horse, whips a ball-and-chain around, and smashes his face in. And I haven't seen Braveheart in like, 8 years.
Submitted by RjFnC (user info) at 2007-02-23 23:17:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Has anyone noticed that the Author and the respondent have different spellings in the name?
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-02-23 22:28:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by fruity_tootie (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:12:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:08:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
i think you should have sex with her and take pictures and post them here.
---
You fucking mysoginists! All women are in your sck twisted minds are another entry into your spank bank! WELL FUCK YOU! Do you want me to cry? Do you want me to fucking cry over some fucking internet forum website? Well, job well done, you cocksucking mysoginist assholes!
-----------
You forgot to edit your curse words, you daft cunt. You are also mis-using the word "misogynist" and mis-spelling it. But please keep writing, I enjoy reading the replies.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-23 17:10:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Speaking of smell, what's your gash smell like?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-02-23 16:51:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
For christ's sake if you are willing to say fuck out loud among real people then you can sure as hell spell it on an anonymous web forum.
You smell like another annoying alter.
Submitted by tiaprae (user info) at 2007-02-23 16:50:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by fruity_tootie (user info) at 2007-02-23 16:46:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
All of you know the scene I'm talking about! The one where the guy has the dream that his head is about to get smashed, then he wakes up, and his head DOES get smashed! Fuck man, that was just like last night, as all I could dream about was Katie bleeding to fucking death from her nose.
----
I thought it was related to your hangover? >.>
Submitted by fruity_tootie (user info) at 2007-02-23 16:46:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
All of you know the scene I'm talking about! The one where the guy has the dream that his head is about to get smashed, then he wakes up, and his head DOES get smashed! Fuck man, that was just like last night, as all I could dream about was Katie bleeding to fucking death from her nose.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2007-02-23 15:53:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
DO they even make Bartles & James anymore?!?
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-02-23 15:36:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
F*ck you.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-02-23 15:24:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2007-02-23 15:20:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Yes, even though about a thousand people die in the movie Braveheart, I remember the one guy who got maced in his head. Even though probably dozens of guys got maced in the head, I know exactly which one you are talking about. You stupid fuck.
Also, you are really bad at writing, and the more you write, they more I think that you are also really bad at life. Because this reads exactly as though it was written by a person who has never touched a drop of liquor in her life, but really really wants to seem as though she had. Personally, I've never met a person who gets WASTED and yet is unwilling to type out the word fuck.
Submitted by Montucky (user info) at 2007-02-23 14:02:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
In reference to other posts by the author
Submitted by Montucky (user info) at 2007-02-23 14:01:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I would say it is orgasmatron, but the structure of the poetry doesn't match up.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-02-23 13:54:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is why I say nossing. I SEE NOSSING. I KNOW NOSSING.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-02-23 13:53:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You'll find that people are mean to you because deep down, you really want them to be so. You must, or you wouldn't keep vomiting this type of hairball onto the front page. Stop posting shit like this and write something decent or entertaining or interesting or in any way not utter crap, and maybe you'll see better responses.
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2007-02-23 13:53:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Whoever it is, I'm quite greatful for the hateful rage outlet.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-02-23 13:45:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't bother (-2)
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-02-23 13:41:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
is it Ameera?
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2007-02-23 13:39:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I stopped reading at f*cked.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-02-23 13:31:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not positive on who this is, so I probably shouldn't spit it out in the open. icarus1987.at.yahoo.com if you're interested. Until then let's just say she's a *cough* Poser.
Submitted by tiaprae (user info) at 2007-02-23 13:27:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-02-23 13:15:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
I was just looking through some of her posts. I just found something of interest, and am changing my alter/not alter stance.
-------------
What'd you find?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-02-23 13:15:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was just looking through some of her posts. I just found something of interest, and am changing my alter/not alter stance.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-23 13:14:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fucktard below.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-23 13:07:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You think it's "rich", huh? well thats fucking great. you know how shitty my life is? my last hand modeling gig fell through because i've got a motherfucking hangnail.
------
This alter shows promise.
F.Y.I, this type of alter is the olde-skool type of alter that we used to have years ago. Done properly, they can be quite entertaining.
I look forward to more pseudo-lesbo action.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-02-23 12:53:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i miss Methods interesting alters, like Cabaret Girl and Jewtoast with his monkey butler.
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-02-23 12:45:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok I'm going agianst the grain on this, if in fact she is an alter.... who's alter is she. I doubt anyone can venture a guess.
Now tootie...if that is your real name, the only way to survive here is to fight back. Tell JonnyX he's weird, tell Maltease to STFU, do something, but don't get all girly and shit. There is no sympathy here. This is not a normal internet forum, this is ubersite.
Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-02-23 12:39:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-23 12:20:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
______
yeah he did. go beat your dick to a sumo wrestling bout on pay-per-view, trite, trick.
Submitted by ChalupaTres (user info) at 2007-02-23 12:37:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't rock the boat.
Submitted by Montucky (user info) at 2007-02-23 12:34:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I thought the post was pretty funny, though If I were tootie I would consider the comments a hazing ritual, that virtually never ends. I would learn to enjoy the quirkyness people display when there are no consequences.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-23 12:20:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If I'm not mistaken, did this whore just call Shlongy a "fucker"???
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-02-23 12:20:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
bleeping words is stupid
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-23 12:18:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ALL WOMEN ARE CHEATING WHORES!
Submitted by fruity_tootie (user info) at 2007-02-23 12:18:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Really? You think so? I thought it was a pretty awesome story.
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2007-02-23 12:08:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by fruity_tootie (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:23:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:15:15 (#)
Ranking: -2
"You fucking mysoginists! All women are in your sck twisted minds are another entry into your spank bank! WELL FUCK YOU! Do you want me to cry? Do you want me to fucking cry over some fucking internet forum website? Well, job well done, you cocksucking mysoginist assholes!"
BUWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAaahahahahahahaaaaaaaa... haha... ha... oh man... hahaha... ha! Thanks for making my day cupcake. That's fucking awesome. I'd be happier if you killed yourself, but I'll settle for crying for now. It's Friday, afterall.
..oh man, she's crying..... that's motherfucking rich.
----
You think it's "rich", huh? well thats fucking great. you know how shitty my life is? my last hand modeling gig fell through because i've got a motherfucking hangnail. i'm failing stats, and mark is pressuring me to marry him. on top of that i have you fuckers telling me to show you my hole or take naked pictures of myself and my roommate.
well what if it were your motherfucking sister, or mother, or wife who were being objectified by a bunch of fucking internet mysoginists? oh, I guess that last one is ireelevant as none of you will ever MEET women in real life. the elf ladies in world of fuckign warcraft are the closest idiots lke you will ever get.
Well excuse the fuck out of ME if I stand up and defend myself. +2!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! plus 2 for this and this alone because the story was crap and had peanuts in the crap. but this is great.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2007-02-23 12:03:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"my last hand modeling gig fell through because i've got a motherfucking hangnail."
SHITTY ALTER ALERT!
Submitted by BadSamaritan87 (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:55:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:53:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:51:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by fruity_tootie (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:43:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
What is clit clit boom boom? Is it like the Smurfs drinking game?
The question of the day !
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:45:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
F*ck off you c**t
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:44:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
*wishes really hard for tootard to stop breathing right now*
Submitted by fruity_tootie (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:43:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What is clit clit boom boom? Is it like the Smurfs drinking game?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:42:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Play clit clit boom boom.
Submitted by tiaprae (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:39:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is why I refuse to date girls...
Also Fruity? It's the internet...it's uber...you're going to get berated, crying over it either a. Makes us women look bad *points shame finger* or b. makes you seem more and more like an alter
Submitted by laika (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:37:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ok. Quit while you're behind. You are either a poor alter, or retarded. There is no third option.
Since retarded people are extremely bad at using logic, let me piece things together for you further.
You make lousy posts that continually refer to your and other's physical assets. And then makeconstant complaints about misogynism and meanness. But with writing like the following, how else would you expect to be treated? You are either an alter or an attention whore who doesnt think it matters whether the attention is negative, so long as you are getting some. But really, we all know that you
are just the latest failed alter.
For those who might have missed some of your erudite prose-
Katie's a full-blooded Swede with skin so pale it's translucent, and hair so blonde it's one shade away from white, so when she blushes you know it immediately. Cherry tomatoe red crept from the valleys of her grapefruit-sized breasts up through roots of her hair.
"You don't have to if you don't want to." I said. "I mean, if it makes you uncomfortable or anything."
"No." she managed to stammer. "It's okay. I'm cool."
"Okay," I said. "Because I'd like to get this over with before Jennifer and Becca get back."
"Yeah," she agreed, nodding nervously.
Her eyes, if you will pardon the tired axiom, were like dinner plates as she watched me peel off my jeans and sweatshirt and slip out of my bra. I'm smaller than she is --barely more than a B cup with puffy pink nipples and large aerolas-- but, given the hungry glint in her eyes, she didn't seem to mind in the slightest.
"You can help me into my nylons if you like." I offered as I pulled the egg-shaped container from the drawer. She nodded hypnotically. I lay down, arching my tanned, gym-toned legs as she slid the smooth, silky fabric up them, moving my naked hips obligingly as felt the elastic pull tight just below my navel.
Her soft, nervous, child-sized hands continued up my back, and as he soft lips closed around my neck, the gentle smell of her tangerine lip balm wafted up to my nostrils. "Diedre," She whispered, calling by my Celtic name.
Submitted by fruity_tootie (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:37:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you beeltea. I guess it didn't come out as colourful as it could have because my head feels like a mortar range right now. Every time a motherfucker drives by booming his stereo it's like shells dropping on my brainstem. It just seriously hits me how sucky my life is at college when they do shit like this.
And yes, Life101, she was ok. The couch, however, is a lost cause. Just as well as we found it out behind the apt building.
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:35:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Have a +2 for taking me away from report
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:34:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:34:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
needs more of an ending. Was she?
Submitted by jfreakman (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:34:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:27:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
damn, and i wasn't even trying.
ALTER ALERT
____________-
Dunh dunh dunnnnnh...
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:33:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Dont make out with strangers sluts do that.
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:30:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"You think it's "rich", huh? well thats fucking great. you know how shitty my life is? my last hand modeling gig fell through because i've got a motherfucking hangnail. i'm failing stats, and mark is pressuring me to marry him. on top of that i have you fuckers telling me to show you my hole or take naked pictures of myself and my roommate. "
Yeah, I do think it's pretty fucking rich, cunt. And I have NEVER, nor will I EVER, ask to see any part of your body. You see, it's creatures like you that make me like men.
And also, I don't give a flying fuck up a fuzzy goat's ass how shitty your life is, you stupid fucking cuntwhore.
ps. thanks, I needed this. Happy Friday to you, too!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:27:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
damn, and i wasn't even trying.
ALTER ALERT
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:25:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
For crying like a bitch, and proving why women are the weaker half of the species
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:25:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ok.
Show us your tits, then.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:23:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You fucking mysoginists! All women are in your sck twisted minds are another entry into your spank bank! WELL FUCK YOU! Do you want me to cry? Do you want me to fucking cry over some fucking internet forum website? Well, job well done, you cocksucking mysoginist assholes!
---
okay calm down. First off, this was not a good post. It was basically a poorly written journal entry. Maybe if you had waited, thought about this story and then told it from a more interesting point of view it would have done a better job of including the reader. The way it is now I could really give a fuck, you know? Also, don't censor the fucks with fu*k. It's annoying and unneccesary.
Oh, and sp on "Misogynist".
Submitted by fruity_tootie (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:23:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:15:15 (#)
Ranking: -2
"You fucking mysoginists! All women are in your sck twisted minds are another entry into your spank bank! WELL FUCK YOU! Do you want me to cry? Do you want me to fucking cry over some fucking internet forum website? Well, job well done, you cocksucking mysoginist assholes!"
BUWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAaahahahahahahaaaaaaaa... haha... ha... oh man... hahaha... ha! Thanks for making my day cupcake. That's fucking awesome. I'd be happier if you killed yourself, but I'll settle for crying for now. It's Friday, afterall.
..oh man, she's crying..... that's motherfucking rich.
----
You think it's "rich", huh? well thats fucking great. you know how shitty my life is? my last hand modeling gig fell through because i've got a motherfucking hangnail. i'm failing stats, and mark is pressuring me to marry him. on top of that i have you fuckers telling me to show you my hole or take naked pictures of myself and my roommate.
well what if it were your motherfucking sister, or mother, or wife who were being objectified by a bunch of fucking internet mysoginists? oh, I guess that last one is ireelevant as none of you will ever MEET women in real life. the elf ladies in world of fuckign warcraft are the closest idiots lke you will ever get.
Well excuse the fuck out of ME if I stand up and defend myself. +2!!
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:16:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by fruity_tootie (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:12:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:08:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
i think you should have sex with her and take pictures and post them here.
---
You fucking mysoginists! All women are in your sck twisted minds are another entry into your spank bank! WELL FUCK YOU! Do you want me to cry? Do you want me to fucking cry over some fucking internet forum website? Well, job well done, you cocksucking mysoginist assholes!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
....... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:16:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I would love to get wasted with a lesbian.
My advice probably means nothing but you should tell her that she needs to keep her hands off you. Also probably best not to go into the whole 'I love you ' thing with her.
God what do I know I'm a bloke and personally think lesbians are hot; because I am shallow. Sorry
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:15:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Do both.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:15:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:46:12 (#)
Ranking: -1
why are you constantly seeking approval from the wolves?
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:15:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"You fucking mysoginists! All women are in your sck twisted minds are another entry into your spank bank! WELL FUCK YOU! Do you want me to cry? Do you want me to fucking cry over some fucking internet forum website? Well, job well done, you cocksucking mysoginist assholes!"
BUWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAaahahahahahahaaaaaaaa... haha... ha... oh man... hahaha... ha! Thanks for making my day cupcake. That's fucking awesome. I'd be happier if you killed yourself, but I'll settle for crying for now. It's Friday, afterall.
..oh man, she's crying..... that's motherfucking rich.
Submitted by fruity_tootie (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:12:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:08:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
i think you should have sex with her and take pictures and post them here.
---
You fucking mysoginists! All women are in your sck twisted minds are another entry into your spank bank! WELL FUCK YOU! Do you want me to cry? Do you want me to fucking cry over some fucking internet forum website? Well, job well done, you cocksucking mysoginist assholes!
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:11:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by fruity_tootie (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:02:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Why are you stupid fuckers so mean to me? :-(
This was a GOOD post!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
No, it WASN'T. See, that's the nifty thing about Uber, fucktart. OTHER users decide if your post is good- NOT YOU.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:08:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i think you should have sex with her and take pictures and post them here.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:07:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:54:52 (#)
Ranking: -1
"You people?" You mean "niggers" don't you? You fucking racist asshole.
---
BAHAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:07:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Coon Hatin' Cracker!
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:04:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by fruity_tootie (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:02:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Why are you stupid fuckers so mean to me? :-(
This was a GOOD post!
They don't think so . And +2ing yourself isn't going to help either...
Submitted by fruity_tootie (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:02:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And I am NOT a racist! You guys are assholes!
Submitted by fruity_tootie (user info) at 2007-02-23 11:02:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why are you stupid fuckers so mean to me? :-(
This was a GOOD post!
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:54:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
"You people?" You mean "niggers" don't you? You fucking racist asshole.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:48:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:46:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is great.
Next time slip some ricin in both of your drinks.
Bottoms Up!
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:46:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
why are you constantly seeking approval from the wolves?
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:44:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You better : http://www.ubersite.com/m/98992 .
They say, 'Try before you die' , or spend eternity thinkin 'bout it!
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:44:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you one of those Jews who type "God" "G*d?"
I just figured, you know, since typing "f*ck" is so goddamn ridiculous.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:44:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wuh?..
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:43:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Let's make a deal.
You show me your hole...and I'll do something nice for a change.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:43:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, if it didn't get hér off...
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:42:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What do I think?
DIE! Stupid cunt alter.
Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:41:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
decisions, decisions.......
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-02-23 10:37:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Drink bleach next time.