God Visits (767 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.1 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <docstar.at.pointless.field.com> (View user info) at 2003-07-09 03:02:11 EDT
Time was when God would visit me every day. We would talk for hours at the bottom of my garden in the shade of the apple tree that grows there. We would talk for hours about this and that. Sometimes I didn't agree with what he said but I didn't tell him. He was not always the easiest person to talk to. Sometimes his halo would slip.
In springtime we talked about new life and fresh beginnings. In summer we talked of warmth and love. In autumn of age and respect and in winter of death and regeneration
I liked those times.
Yesterday he told me to cut down my apple tree.
I told him to fuck off.
He hasn't visited me today.
User Reviews
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-07-09 10:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
God is telling me to have you all change your direct deposits to my bank account.
Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2003-07-09 04:39:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Heavenly father, I cannot tell a lie. I chopped down the apple tree.
Submitted by PopNFresh (user info) at 2003-07-09 04:27:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That was actually pretty funny
Good but not great
Submitted by Queen (user info) at 2003-07-09 04:27:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lmfao IDDQD, that was hilarious.
Queen
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2003-07-09 03:38:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
god wants you to die
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2003-07-09 03:36:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
gods telling me that youd better cut down that friggin tree, or hes gonna get old testament on your arse. oh, and for you to walk through the wall, he'll move it for you...
do you want a happy god or an angry god?
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2003-07-09 03:15:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
God abandoned you. Now you're just like everyone else.
Submitted by Flapjacksupreme (user info) at 2003-07-09 03:14:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I burst out laughing when I got to the point about telling him to fuck off.
I must need sleep. None-the-less, +2
Submitted by squattail (user info) at 2003-07-09 03:13:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are lucky you weren't smoten.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2003-07-09 03:10:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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