SPT: Drunken Camwhore #1 (2468 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.68 on 94 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lungfish (View user info) at 2007-03-01 21:30:54 EST
I felt moderately safe posting this until WookieSuave had to go and post something of value on a particularly shitty Thursday: http://www.ubersite.com/m/99298.
The words behind me in the photo are directed at Rob Berg and Amontillado, who touched me tonight (heh ... heh): http://www.ubersite.com/m/99294#2332088. Not that we'll ever meet, or anything, but eh...whatever. I'm not gay.
This photo was taken at the end of a rather arduous six-week project in the woods. I'm not sure I had showered in quite some time. I was pretty well wasted by the time this photo was taken. Shocker.
The woman to my right, whom I cropped from the photo because I'm a gentleman, has pink hair, all sorts of shit stuck through various places on her face, and a tattoo of Charles Bukowski on her arm. I hired her. Awesome.
Best part of the night, that I can remember, was dancing with the lovely Tina - another of my hires. Also awesome...and lovely. She has a video of me singing Sinatra at the bar that night. I've been trying to get it from her. Get it...from her...heh...heh. God, I'm immature.
Zebra recently said I look like a 55-year-old redneck. I'm 39 ya fucks, and I think I look like a 45-year-old redneck. (Bold type. Awesome.)
Cheers, mates.
PS, I'm not drunk now. I'm just avoiding doing any work tonight. Uber's good for that...and the wife actually thinks I'm working.
User Reviews
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-05-20 05:36:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh god if somebody catches me now they will think I'm gay
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-04-15 05:09:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
All three very funny guys, K_S.
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-04-15 04:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
mitch hedberg was awesome
i was fortunate enough to see him touring with lewis black and dave attel
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-04-15 04:16:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hi Fey.
No need to bring this back up again. Camwhore's are embarrassing.
I just got a scanner.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-04-15 04:08:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hello lungfish.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-03-18 21:11:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-10 23:41:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Now there's a handsome devil. Jesus...
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:13:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just bcuz i felt like +2'ing lungfish!
Have a good day!(in the woods,downtown, whereever you are...)
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-03-05 20:25:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AH, RLY? THS I TH LST TM M DNG THS S WLL.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-03-05 20:18:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for knowing mitch hedberg. You are 2KOOL4SCOOL
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-03-05 10:13:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know how I missed this.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-03-04 22:33:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by manic_impressive (user info) at 2007-03-02 00:04:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Watch "The Proposition". It's a Western written and Directed by Nick Cave, a fellow Aussie!
==========
John Hillcoat directed it.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-03-04 22:04:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
prefers to gum it below
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-03-04 21:44:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your brother Cletis called. He wants to know how long you're going to be with the teeth, he's got a hot date.
with your sister.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 11:16:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hello there darling. Deffinately need you in a cowboy hat. Will you marry me in a cowboy hat?
*goes squishy*
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-03-04 09:43:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-03-04 09:20:29 (#)
Ranking: 1
Glad I wasn't the only one grey at that age.
Wtf is a 6 weeks projects in the woods?
They're probably shooting 'Scary booby's No25634'....
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-03-04 09:20:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Glad I wasn't the only one grey at that age.
Wtf is a 6 weeks projects in the woods?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-03-04 08:21:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-04 00:35:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OK drogo --
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-04 00:30:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
ps, drogo wants lishy. Pass it on.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-04 00:29:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Love you too, I'm sure.
I just spent a very pleasant day swimming and drinking $12 Beam-on-the-rocks with friends who think they have a lot of money. I had to take money out of my savings account to cover my drinking expenses. The kid have a lovely time. I think my wife hates me, but I had a lovely time, too.
There were lots of fake boobs at the pool. Fucking Scottsdale.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-03-03 22:30:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-03-02 03:23:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn you like like David Morse; or he looks like you. Yeah that's it he took your look b'stard.
--
That was supposed to say look. Damn I'm rather drunk chap, can't belive I am actually correcting muself when pissed.
Lungfish rules raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm going to bed now.
p.s I want Lishy pass it on
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-03-03 09:52:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-03-03 07:32:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Im 27 and enjoying the hell out of my life
:)
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-03-03 07:14:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-02 20:34:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
pen_name - that is perhaps the highest honor you can bestow on me; one of my heroes, he is.
Indeed, high praise !
messmind - I'm six weeks older than you; let's have a party later this year. A six-week party.
That's a good plan ! I never have been to Nevada, so that's already a winner!
(I'll bring the beer, my dancing feet, and a good mood ! the green stays home ...)
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-03 04:17:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well thank you, Rob. It's not a new job, per se, but a new task. They send me to the worst parts of town.
You know what, I trust you. You're always welcome to email me. I like you. Even if my own true love does not.
ps, I'm really druink.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-03-03 04:09:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wouldn't ignore you - yer one of my favorite e-people on this site.
Congrats on the new job!
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:16:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:04:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yup. Good ol' Ft. Lost-In-The-Woods.
-----
Sweet. My wife's father was stationed there. She was actually born there.
Alas, I'm not military.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:10:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 DF
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:05:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:01:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:57:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
You don't look drunk...
------
I'm very experienced.
-----------
When I'm drunk, I damn well make sure I look it.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-03-03 00:04:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yup. Good ol' Ft. Lost-In-The-Woods.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:57:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You don't look drunk...
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:51:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey B_B. Are/were you military? Were you stationed at Fort Leonard Wood?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-03-02 23:45:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If you're ever in Eastern PA, the first round is on me.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-02 20:54:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, gorgeous.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-02 20:53:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi, handsome.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-02 20:34:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
pen_name - that is perhaps the highest honor you can bestow on me; one of my heroes, he is.
messmind - I'm six weeks older than you; let's have a party later this year. A six-week party.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-03-02 14:49:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2007-03-02 13:57:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
orson wells
http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1980000/images/_1983018_orson_150.jpg
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-03-02 13:47:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"all sorts of shit stuck through various places on her face"-priceless!
just 8 months, and i'll be 40. feel a little better now ? ;-)
greetzzz
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-03-02 13:40:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheScaryGuy11 (user info) at 2007-03-02 12:10:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-02 00:42:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Two awesome women below.
ps, I really did grow up in Missouri...till I was 13 anyway. Rolla. I think I've told you this, already.
Mah daddy was one-a dem college professors.
-----
There aren't any schools(unless you count church) in MO though...
Submitted by tiaprae (user info) at 2007-03-02 10:51:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-03-02 09:52:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Typo below...supposed to read "a round ON me". :(
----
I like the typo
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-03-02 09:52:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Typo below...supposed to read "a round ON me". :(
|
|
v
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-03-02 09:44:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I *do* like his beard. Fancy that! I inadvertently used a British saying correctly!
A round of me for everyone tonight!
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-03-02 09:20:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Or it could just be that you like his Style; which I would have to agree with.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-03-02 09:20:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-03-02 09:12:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Cheers, indeed!
I like the cut of your jib.
Whatever that means.
--
Pah if you don't understand weird English type sayings then you shouldnt use them.
Translation of what you just said:
Lungfish I fancy you; I dream about you night and day. Cum, make me your man-band. I would tickle your beard and sing to you every night.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-03-02 09:12:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cheers, indeed!
I like the cut of your jib.
Whatever that means.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-03-02 08:29:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got into a fight in Rolla once. Them was the days.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-03-02 03:23:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn you like like David Morse; or he looks like you. Yeah that's it he took your look b'stard.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-03-02 01:53:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Fosters is probably the shittiest beer I've ever had.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-03-02 01:44:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
my stepmother is from MO and I will always associate all people from there with her and her family.
:(
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-03-02 01:27:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-02 01:04:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh...and:
Love Is In The Air
Love is in the air everywhere I look around
love is in the air every sight and every sound
and I don't know if I'm being foolish
I don't know if I'm being wise
but it's something that I must believe in
and it's there when I look in your eyes.
Love is in the air, in the whisper of the trees,
love is in the air in the thunder of the sea,
and I don't know if I'm just dreaming,
I don't know if I feel safe,
but it's something that I must believe in
and it's there when I call out your name.
Love is in the air, love is in the air, oh, oh, oh, oh, uh,
uh, uh, uh.
Love is in the air, in the rising of the sun,
love is in the air, when the day is nearly done,
and I don't know if you are illusion,
don't know if I see truth,
but you are something that I must believe in,
and you are there when I reach out for you.
Love is in the air everywhere I look around
love is in the air every sight and every sound
and I don't know if I'm being foolish
I don't know if I'm being wise
but it's something that I must believe in
and it's there when I look in your eyes.
Love is in the air, love is in the air, oh, oh, oh, oh, uh,
uh, uh, uh.
---
Tom Jones kicks ass.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-02 00:53:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
FG: If you have some ideas, you can throw 'em at me. I might offer some experiences. I'm not very creative, mind you. I've been amusing myself with drunken ramblings and other shit posts for a while. I might actually tell the story about the badass Arizona sun burning the hell outta my dick, though.
I don't know. Shoot me a line. We'll see.
email address is found in my user info at the bottom.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-03-02 00:48:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My aunt lives in Rolla.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-03-02 00:46:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lung, I've been meaning to say this for a while now. I propose that we do a collaborative piece on how to be proper Missourian/Pseudo-Redneck (or Hick) and using it to one's advantage (i.e. sometimes pretending to be stupid can work in your favor).
98% of Uber will hate it but at least we'll amuse ourselves.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-02 00:42:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Two awesome women below.
ps, I really did grow up in Missouri...till I was 13 anyway. Rolla. I think I've told you this, already.
Mah daddy was one-a dem college professors.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-03-02 00:36:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can attest to the fact that growing up in Missouri does tend to give people the wrong idea.
They're surprised when you eat your salad with an actual salad fork.
They faint dead away when you say 'wash' instead of 'warsh.'
And I find it objectionable when doctors want to do genetic screening on you because they assume that your father married his 1st cousin.
When will this horrid prejudice against Missourians ever end?!
Oh, that's right, we bring a lot of it on ourselves.
'Scuse me, I gotta go gets mah deep fried 'possum outta the fryer now.
Hehehehehe
:)
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2007-03-02 00:19:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"#1" suggests a series to follow.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-02 00:18:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Most definitely not a redneck...just look like one. Comes from being Scottish and growing up in Missouri.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-02 00:14:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Hahah...are you a 39-year old redneck?
Uber need five more of you.
Submitted by tiaprae (user info) at 2007-03-02 00:10:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You look relatively sober in your picture. I suppose that comes with age eh?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-02 00:09:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by manic_impressive (user info) at 2007-03-02 00:04:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Watch "The Proposition". It's a Western written and Directed by Nick Cave, a fellow Aussie!
--------
Unban Phallic!
I will. I saw somebody here talking about it a while ago. I think I was drunk so I don't remember who.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-03-02 00:06:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
4.2 8:40PM
Submitted by manic_impressive (user info) at 2007-03-02 00:04:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Watch "The Proposition". It's a Western written and Directed by Nick Cave, a fellow Aussie!
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2007-03-01 23:47:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for the compliment Lung. Kind of forgot it was Shit Post Thursday, but can you blame me? I've been up for close to 37 hours. Hopefully my english professor has the same opinion of that piece as you.
You like like a guy I could sit down and do shots of Newfie Screech Rum with.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-03-01 23:45:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Baby earthquake! +2s all around!
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-03-01 23:35:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i've found that camping and night-vision capabilities go together quite nicely
skulk away
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-03-01 23:31:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HIPPIE!
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-03-01 23:26:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuckin a man
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-03-01 23:07:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I arrived in America's airport with clothings, U.S dollars and a jar of gypsy tears to protect me from AIDS.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-01 23:03:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ps, it's a true story.
thanks for the kind(?) comments.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-01 23:02:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm camping, which is embarrassing, so I'll be leaving now. My next post will be a real short story...my first since high school. It's titled, "I Went into the Woods to Collect Some Data for My Thesis and Returned with Nothing but a Hangover and a Sunburned Dick." Working title.
It's going to blow Stagger and Jack away.
Maybe I'll write it.
Later.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-01 22:58:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha Stagger I thought you'd like that.
Wim Wenders film, that was great Lungfish.
The American remake was really schmaltzy.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-03-01 22:54:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-01 22:49:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
me nick cave
you suck
=======
ahahaha
was that you on pulsehead? goddamn I loved that review
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-01 22:53:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I was introduced to Nick Cave's music by a beautiful Italian woman whose favorite movie was "Wings of Desire" (American title...don't remember the German title). Nick Cave's awesome. So was the movie, which featured Nick Cave. So was the Italian chick. She's was the most awesome. Oooo. I just had a chill run up my back. I think it moved, too.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-01 22:49:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
me nick cave
you suck
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-03-01 22:45:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-01 22:38:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
OOPS
Hope no one thinks I'm Bart.
---------
I think you're Jeff Buckley's bass player.
Proof to follow.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-01 22:38:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OOPS
Hope no one thinks I'm Bart.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-01 22:38:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-01 22:33:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
eh...anymore I almost only rate the posts I like. I'll try to be better about reading/rating shitty stuff.
That's what I'm adding the filters for.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-01 22:35:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ps, I'm Scottish.
And a Viking.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-01 22:33:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
eh...anymore I almost only rate the posts I like. I'll try to be better about reading/rating shitty stuff.
FG: It's hanging. Low. Not really. But it's hanging.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-03-01 22:28:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-01 22:26:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-01 21:55:24 (#)
Ranking: -2
oops...habit
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-01 21:55:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------
haha
no wonder everyone likes you, you old brown noser. auto +2s.
39 my ass
and I'm just as bad to +2 this, you bastard.
============
hahaha
Lungfish, you need a hat. A bonafide, genuwine cowboy hat. A big un.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-03-01 22:27:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Say, my brethren Yank (according to some, we're not supposed to claim we're anything other than 'Mericans), where's that wild look in your eye?
I'd say if'n you had that wild look, we could talk about how we like being Scottish n' all (but we're not supposed to claim we're anything other than 'Mericans).
How's it hangin' Yank?
Submitted by manic_impressive (user info) at 2007-03-01 22:26:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd date-rape you but you don't visit my sort of club.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-01 22:26:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-01 21:55:24 (#)
Ranking: -2
oops...habit
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-01 21:55:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------
haha
no wonder everyone likes you, you old brown noser. auto +2s.
39 my ass
and I'm just as bad to +2 this, you bastard.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-03-01 22:22:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin A.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-03-01 22:21:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL UR OOOOOOLD!!!!
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-03-01 21:56:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha dirty old man, at least you don't have wrinkles.
you kinda look like one of the prison guards from 'The Green Mile'
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-01 21:55:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
oops...habit
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-01 21:55:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're better looking, ih8u2man.
joedaddy, I laughed out loud about four times today thinking about the "still shuddering after all these years" comment. Spit coffee over my legs.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2007-03-01 21:50:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A tattoo of Charles Bukowski on her arm. I hired her. I would too.
PS. I think that you are me for some reason in the future.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-03-01 21:48:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you almost look like the dude that took my 2nd....uh...yeah...second wife, off my hands
cept he drove a pink corvette*
*<swear-to-God>
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-01 21:47:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn. Might have to start wearing sunscreen. Fucking Arizona.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-03-01 21:42:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lunger. if that's really you at 39, you is in deep shit. I'm 18 years older than you and look much younger...