Saturday Morning Sideways (1314 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.85 on 81 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by LittleMonster (View user info) at 2007-03-04 09:54:34 EST
It's Saturday morning and I'm pretty sure I would rather die than open my eyes right now. My heads pounding and my stomach is objecting fiercely to the abuse I gave it last night. Apparently Corkies white chocolate liqueur and white wine don't mix very well. I ran my tongue around my mouth and instantly regretted it. Something small and fury climbed in there and died whilst I was sleeping. I peeled one eye open in hope to find a glass of water by my bedside. Instead I got a rather nasty shock. Not only was there no water, but it wasn't even my bedside.
Shit.
I tore open my other eye and once the room stopped spinning, I had a proper look at where I was. To my horror, I have no idea where I am. I try franticly to recall the events from last night, but I'm still drawing a blank. I try not to panic as I check that I'm not naked. Thankfully I'm fully dressed. Unfortunately in someone else's clothes.
Where are my clothes and who's are these?!
That's about the time I noticed it. Sometime over the course of last night I grew a third arm. Also I got it tattooed. The only other explanation for the third arm, is that it's not mine at all and in fact belongs to someone else. Who could it belong to though?! I'm still drawing a blank and no matter how hard I try, the night is in so many little bits and without clues, not even Sherlock Holmes could have worked out what happened.
I tensed as I felt hot breath on the back of my neck and the mystery person snuggled closer. There was nothing else for it, I'm just going to have to look. Very slowly, as to not wake who ever the arm belonged to in case I had to make a speedy get away, I shuffled around to get a good look at who ever it was so lovingly cuddling me.
Time stood still. I must have squeaked or something because his eyes flew open and he quickly jumped back in alarm.
The man who had been ever so tenderly holding me in reality hates me beyond reason. The feeling is mutual however, which only added to my confusion of how I ended up in bed with him. Registering my alarm Jake backed off to the furtherest side of the bed, trying desperately to conceal the fact that he was as naked.
"Monster, I can explain. Stop looking at me like that"
"Then please do because I have no fucking clue how I got here or even where the hell I am, whilst we're at it, where are my clothes?"
Jake frowned, my head continued to explode and somewhere out side a dog barked.
After a small amount of nervous laughter, he told me the tale of how I ended up here. It didn't take much prompting for it all to come flooding back
It started in the Ship, a regular haunt of mine, so no shocker there. Jake arrived with a couple of friends to find myself and a few others getting happily pissed and generally being loud and obnoxious by the sounds of it. Now Jake and I try quite hard not to be in the same bar as each other. Him and I mixed with alcohol always ends in a row. There's no real reason for it, except I just object to the person he is. An arrogant, self obsessed, misogynistic burk, who thinks that because he's good looking the world will forgive him. He holds me in equally high regard.
Jake had been chasing one of my friends for quite some time, so last night he decided to put up with me in the hope of getting in her pants. Not wanting to brake tradition, come 11 o'clock we got in a row over something rather small and pretty, resulting in a full blown character assassination. After a few minuets of shouting at each other a couple of doorman came over and told us to pipe down. This settled us for a while, but it wasn't long before it kicked up again. This time resulting in Jake dumping a full pint of larger over my head and us both getting chucked out the bar until we learnt to behave our selves.
Cold, shivering and desperately pissed off. I tried to call a taxi to get home. As usual in my town, no one was going to be available until 4am. Jake decided he had gone to far and felt bad for ruining my night and my new cream dress. He offered me a sofa and some dry clothes, which at the time even coming from him sounded like a good idea.
Back at his place he put my dress in the sink to soak and chucked some jeans and an old sweater in my direction. We had tea and the hostility began to fade away. Soon we were laughing and beginning to relax. Crashed out on the stupidly small and uncomfortable sofa we watched the Simpsons for a while before Jake shepherded me to bed.
This is all fine and my heart rate is beginning to slow . It doesn't however explain why he's naked or the fact that he had his arms around me. I decided I didn't want to know. Baffled and more than a little uncomfortably confused I stared to collect my things. It's probably more accurately described as me running around like a loon hoping to put as much distance between me and him as possible. Why couldn't I take my eyes off his taut,smooth stomach. When did his eyes get so green? I swallowed hard and tried to stem the rush of blood to my face. Jake watched my fussing with amused interest. I sincerely hope he hadn't noticed the colour in my cheeks.
Promising safe return of his clothes at a later date. Earrings found, shoes located and my dress stuffed into a plastic bag. I stumbled hastily towards the door, mumbling thank you and apologising a lot on the way. How had this happened? At what point had this monster suddenly turned in to a decent human being, not only that, quite a desirable human being. I didn't want to find him desirable, I certainly didn't want him knowing I felt like that. Jake ran after me, with a towel slung around his hips. He paused at the top of the stairs as I began to slide out the front door.
"Monster, hang on a second. Nothing happened, you don't need to be running out on me"
I let out the breath I didn't even know I was holding and eyed him with suspicion.
"So we didn't......."
"No we didn't........ You can't blame me for trying though"
I don't remember that.
"Oh.....but.......what?"
"You told me you would rather rip of your own arm and bludgeon yourself to death with it"
Subtlety never was my strong point.
User Reviews
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-03-13 12:55:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Posted on a Sunday which explains why I didn't read it before.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-03-13 12:47:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Never use your own arm to bludgeon someone to death; use theirs, they aren't going to need it anyway.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-03-11 01:50:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:31:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If you liked Spaced you should like The Boosh. It really is very, very random but fucking hilarious, if you like that sort of thing.
They don't repeat it very often and they only did 2 seasons (as it's really a live thing they just tried out on tv) but once you've seen the show and know who the characters are you should get the live DVD. The live shows are what they're all about but you need to understand it all first.
___________
I'll give it ago at some point then. If it can keep me entertained like Spaced then I'm all for it.
============================
Here you go:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96990
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-03-06 13:21:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-03-05 22:50:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
. .
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-03-05 22:50:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-03-05 22:50:24 (#)
Ranking: 1
---
Such a sincere little creature this 'Uniter' is...
Great story. You guys are SO gunna hump.
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-03-06 12:55:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool another brit to *raises my teacup to you*
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-06 09:10:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2007-03-06 09:00:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
You are a Brit?
Well bugger me.
Good tale too.
-Dave
___________
Brit born and bred.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2007-03-06 09:00:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are a Brit?
Well bugger me.
Good tale too.
-Dave
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-03-06 04:31:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-03-05 22:50:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
. .
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-03-05 22:50:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-03-05 22:50:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-03-05 11:34:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The last hundreds of saturday mornings were taken hostage by my hangover...
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-03-05 11:13:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You need to hydrate frequently during your drinking expedition.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-05 08:14:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2007-03-05 08:07:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-05 08:01:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2007-03-05 07:57:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
It's a comedy sketch show on BBC3. It's one of those things you either adore or just don't get.
Old Gregg is one of the characters. I love it.
www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/themightyboosh
(That link is from memory so it might not work)
______________
Link doesn't work, but i have googled it. I must confess I have never in my life seen or heard of this show! Very sorry old bean, but it remains a mystery. I wwatch TV once a month, so it's hardly supprising.
The only thing on TV I ever found remotely worth watching was Spaced. That my dear was pure gold.
----
If you liked Spaced you should like The Boosh. It really is very, very random but fucking hilarious, if you like that sort of thing.
They don't repeat it very often and they only did 2 seasons (as it's really a live thing they just tried out on tv) but once you've seen the show and know who the characters are you should get the live DVD. The live shows are what they're all about but you need to understand it all first.
___________
I'll give it ago at some point then. If it can keep me entertained like Spaced then I'm all for it.
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2007-03-05 08:07:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-05 08:01:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2007-03-05 07:57:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
It's a comedy sketch show on BBC3. It's one of those things you either adore or just don't get.
Old Gregg is one of the characters. I love it.
www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/themightyboosh
(That link is from memory so it might not work)
______________
Link doesn't work, but i have googled it. I must confess I have never in my life seen or heard of this show! Very sorry old bean, but it remains a mystery. I wwatch TV once a month, so it's hardly supprising.
The only thing on TV I ever found remotely worth watching was Spaced. That my dear was pure gold.
----
If you liked Spaced you should like The Boosh. It really is very, very random but fucking hilarious, if you like that sort of thing.
They don't repeat it very often and they only did 2 seasons (as it's really a live thing they just tried out on tv) but once you've seen the show and know who the characters are you should get the live DVD. The live shows are what they're all about but you need to understand it all first.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-05 08:01:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2007-03-05 07:57:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
It's a comedy sketch show on BBC3. It's one of those things you either adore or just don't get.
Old Gregg is one of the characters. I love it.
www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/themightyboosh
(That link is from memory so it might not work)
______________
Link doesn't work, but i have googled it. I must confess I have never in my life seen or heard of this show! Very sorry old bean, but it remains a mystery. I wwatch TV once a month, so it's hardly supprising.
The only thing on TV I ever found remotely worth watching was Spaced. That my dear was pure gold.
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2007-03-05 07:57:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-05 07:44:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2007-03-05 07:40:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-03-04 14:53:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Apparently Corkies white chocolate liqueur and white wine don't mix very well.
-----------------
Neither do Bailey's and tequila.
----
I can't drink Baileys without thinking of Old Gregg from The Mighty Boosh. They've ruined it for me.
Just me then?
>tumbleweed<
>walks away<
_________________
I have no idea who Old Gregg is, or what the Mighty Boosh might be. TV show? Film? I'm going to have to google it aren't I.
----
It's a comedy sketch show on BBC3. It's one of those things you either adore or just don't get.
Old Gregg is one of the characters. I love it.
www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/themightyboosh
(That link is from memory so it might not work)
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-05 07:44:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2007-03-05 07:40:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-03-04 14:53:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Apparently Corkies white chocolate liqueur and white wine don't mix very well.
-----------------
Neither do Bailey's and tequila.
----
I can't drink Baileys without thinking of Old Gregg from The Mighty Boosh. They've ruined it for me.
Just me then?
>tumbleweed<
>walks away<
_________________
I have no idea who Old Gregg is, or what the Mighty Boosh might be. TV show? Film? I'm going to have to google it aren't I.
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2007-03-05 07:40:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-03-04 14:53:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Apparently Corkies white chocolate liqueur and white wine don't mix very well.
-----------------
Neither do Bailey's and tequila.
----
I can't drink Baileys without thinking of Old Gregg from The Mighty Boosh. They've ruined it for me.
Just me then?
>tumbleweed<
>walks away<
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-03-05 07:22:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-03-05 07:12:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...need....booze....
Submitted by JamieT (user info) at 2007-03-05 05:36:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-05 04:16:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2007-03-05 01:55:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-03-04 14:53:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Apparently Corkies white chocolate liqueur and white wine don't mix very well.
-----------------
Neither do Bailey's and tequila.
At the same time, that is. They call it a cement mixer, as the 2 ingridients curdle together when mixed.
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFF.
Same again, please.
---------------------------------------
Wrong, a cement mixer is baileys with either lemon or lime juice, I can't see how tequila would work, I don't think agave has citric acid in it which is the key component.
Meanwhile, awesome story.
_______________________________
Jesus, just the thought of drinking this right now is making my stomach churn. I'm going to look it up though, just to make sure that I never ever go near one.........even by accident.
____________
In College I pioneered a drink to see how drunk you were, It was gin and orange juice followed by a carton of chocolate milk, the thinking was that if you thought that would be a good combo you were really drunk and shouldn't drink anymore.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-05 04:16:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2007-03-05 01:55:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-03-04 14:53:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Apparently Corkies white chocolate liqueur and white wine don't mix very well.
-----------------
Neither do Bailey's and tequila.
At the same time, that is. They call it a cement mixer, as the 2 ingridients curdle together when mixed.
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFF.
Same again, please.
---------------------------------------
Wrong, a cement mixer is baileys with either lemon or lime juice, I can't see how tequila would work, I don't think agave has citric acid in it which is the key component.
Meanwhile, awesome story.
_______________________________
Jesus, just the thought of drinking this right now is making my stomach churn. I'm going to look it up though, just to make sure that I never ever go near one.........even by accident.
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2007-03-05 01:55:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-03-04 14:53:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Apparently Corkies white chocolate liqueur and white wine don't mix very well.
-----------------
Neither do Bailey's and tequila.
At the same time, that is. They call it a cement mixer, as the 2 ingridients curdle together when mixed.
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFF.
Same again, please.
---------------------------------------
Wrong, a cement mixer is baileys with either lemon or lime juice, I can't see how tequila would work, I don't think agave has citric acid in it which is the key component.
Meanwhile, awesome story.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-03-04 16:48:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heh, sounds like my saturday night, i got a fine for puking in a taxi, apparantly it's frowned upon.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 15:57:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-04 14:14:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
I like you.
___________
Good, I like you too.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-03-04 15:39:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
aaikndf
_______
What the hell does this mean?
I'm back from the pub....already?!? Sad isn't it. I got kidnapped by the cricket club for dinner, lot's of fun, but it always pisses me off when everyone else is smashed before you get there. It became too much luike hard work, so I came home.
Lounge pants are on and tea is in the pot. Happy days.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2007-03-04 15:51:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-03-04 15:39:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
aaikndf
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-03-04 14:53:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Apparently Corkies white chocolate liqueur and white wine don't mix very well.
-----------------
Neither do Bailey's and tequila.
At the same time, that is. They call it a cement mixer, as the 2 ingridients curdle together when mixed.
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFF.
Same again, please.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-04 14:33:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Lish, how's it going?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-04 14:25:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh oh, Lungfish. She pulled out the no siree. I CAN'T FIGHT THE NO SIREE!
Up with it I will not put! I'm chanting that to myself now for some reason.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-04 14:14:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like you.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-03-04 13:09:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 12:57:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll be back, and with a few beers down me I'll be in much better spirits.
PUB!!!!!!!
*claps and skips away*
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 12:54:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry Lish, this just wont do. Up with it I will not put. You can't have him. Nope, no sirreee.
Oh no. I've just been summond to the pub. What ever shall I do?!
*runs to find coat,shoes and hand bag*
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-04 12:43:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, I'll just say that red and I are far past the blushing stage, so..
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 12:39:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
But it's Sunday!!! Sunday funday! They are made for getting drunk and falling out with everyone..........oh wait. Thats just me. My bad.
This is the problem with living next door to a pub...it's tough to stay away when your a bit bored.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-04 12:35:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My real wife's not mad at me and I'm not hungover. Weird.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-04 12:34:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 12:32:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-04 12:29:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
*blushes*
______________
Lishy, is that at reds comment or because you are Lungs other woman?
-------
Ummmmmmmmm.....
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-04 12:32:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 12:32:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-04 12:29:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
*blushes*
______________
Lishy, is that at reds comment or because you are Lungs other woman?
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 12:31:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*dies*
I'd say I'd fight her for you, but she scares me. She'd kick my arse in a matter of moments.
I'll just have to accept my fate and hope that she has a sudden urge to move to the moon. Which would be a shame because I like her posts. Yet again, another dilema.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-04 12:29:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*blushes*
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-04 12:22:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 12:18:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
*blinks*
Which other woman? Is it FG? IS IT?!?!
---------
Ummmmmm...
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2007-03-04 12:19:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Subtlety is for dickheads anyways. Nice post.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 12:18:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*blinks*
Which other woman? Is it FG? IS IT?!?!
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-04 12:15:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 11:16:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hello there darling. Deffinately need you in a cowboy hat. Will you marry me in a cowboy hat?
-----
Yup. No problem. Now, more than ever.
(I still have this "thing" for that other woman, though.)
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-04 11:46:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Always a pleasure to get a comment from you Licious.
*loads Photoshop*
*mutters darkly*
*mad scientist cackling*
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 11:45:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-04 11:41:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is great, though it needs a good spellcheck. And you should beware of Jake, he is an insidious creature who will smile at you warmly, the whole time imagining how much better you'd look if he could only adjust your face in photoshop.
______________
AHAHAAHAHA
Sorry about the spell check, I'm hopeless. Glad you liked it, it's very much based on what happend yesterday.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-04 11:41:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is great, though it needs a good spellcheck. And you should beware of Jake, he is an insidious creature who will smile at you warmly, the whole time imagining how much better you'd look if he could only adjust your face in photoshop.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-03-04 11:38:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ah
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-04 11:23:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's that old USB camera he has for an eye.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-03-04 11:23:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 11:23:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nope, not seeing it.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 11:21:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It all becomes clear! By the sounds of things he needs glasses too. You don't look remotely asian.
*runs to double check camwhore"
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-04 11:18:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
he accuses me of being asian. Despite him being a robot and not having ethnoidentification software built in.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 11:17:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why DR? Have I missed something?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-04 11:14:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So you're saying I should become Chinese?
*waits for Danger Ranger*
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 11:07:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.wimp.com/chinesebaby/
Here you go. It is possible.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-04 11:05:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want an extra arm.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/72/Mark_Wing-Davey_as_Zaphod_Beeblebrox.jpg
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 11:02:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No it's not. I'm a sad little oik.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:54:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Remarkable
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:49:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:30:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/80514
I'm a filthy linkwhore today.
________________________________
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:46:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the funniest thing i have read on uber in ages.
________________________________
Squish. I'm sorry, the crazy is being let out for a walk today. I shall explain. I drink alot. I drink pint after pint of squash (orange, peach, black current). All of them. Somewhere along the line after a heavy nights drinking, I uttered the fateful line
"darling could you fetch me a glass of squish, I think I'm dying"
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:40:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Squish?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:39:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awww you kids are so cute when you're gay for eachother.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:39:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:32:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hurty would have raped your armpit.
___________
This made me choke on my squish.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:38:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:37:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:32:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hurty would have raped your armpit.
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Truth. Jake would have talked you into a coma and then had his way. I know how he rolls.
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Says the pseudoscot. It is helluva amusing hear Hurty mangle his vowels in an attempt to be more ethnic.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:37:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:32:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hurty would have raped your armpit.
============
Truth. Jake would have talked you into a coma and then had his way. I know how he rolls.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:32:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hurty would have raped your armpit.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:31:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jake is a kick ass name by the way.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:31:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jake is indeed a harassing person.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:30:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/80514
I'm a filthy linkwhore today.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:30:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:28:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:14:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/83934
Mine featured green eyes too.
__________________________
I liked this alot, sorry I missed it the first time.
I'm on my tod here. Just me and the cat. Fat little piglet that she is.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:14:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/83934
Mine featured green eyes too.
Submitted by damunzy (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:14:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Funny story. Nice of him to let you know you didn't _completely_ fuck up. :)
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:12:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:09:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:03:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
That T Shirt is tiny. What are you - part ant?
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I've just sat here for five minuets trying to come up with a witty comeback for that. I have nothing. NOTHING.
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Minuets are for two people. Do you still have company?
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:09:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:03:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
That T Shirt is tiny. What are you - part ant?
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I've just sat here for five minuets trying to come up with a witty comeback for that. I have nothing. NOTHING.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-04 10:03:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That T Shirt is tiny. What are you - part ant?
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-04 09:55:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shit, sorry about the impossibly small tee shirt.