Ode to a skid mark (609 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.13 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by CATAL (View user info) at 2007-03-05 01:09:25 EST
Oh! The eternal question
the one without an answer
to shit or not to shit
to place my buttocks bare
upon the not porcelain, but plastic
toilet seat from hell
Fit to burst with urine
and fecal matter alike
prancing back in forth
in frantic contemplation
No butt gasket in sight
nor even any toilet paper
(posing future problems still)
only the dirty,
and most assuredly so,
diseased-ridden,
shit-and-piss-stained
toilet seat of a public lavatory
Panicked investigations of every other stall
some accompanied by angry and surprised outcries
the others by sighs and gasps of resignation and despair
until the final dread moment
of pulling down my britches
and letting explode
FNGPBLTHPBLFLTHBPTTHHHH!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-03-05 22:43:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2007-03-05 20:59:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i bet you didn't really tell your neighbor that, you liar
apox on thee! a thousand curses upon your head! you scoundrel of questionable heritage! you scurvy dog with rancid garlic breath! you purtid filth monger of malicious intent! begone!!
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-05 20:43:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I did as you asked before and passed on your advice to the neighbor boy, but I simply cannot execute this new command as it is far too warm and cozy up here.
Perhaps in the spring.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2007-03-05 18:55:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well i am upset, because you gave me a -2 and apparently your 12 year old neighbor says i suck!
pull your head out of your ass.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-05 18:02:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2007-03-05 15:30:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
well you can tell your neighbor's 12 year old son that it isn't very nice to insult people, especially people you don't know, have never met, and have no knowledge of at all. That just doesn't seem very mature.
==
I will pass on your sage wisdom.
Don't be too upset, though. He smokes a lot of dope.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-03-05 17:40:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was watching Desperado last night. this post has bought back images of that horrendous toilet that is in that movie.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2007-03-05 15:30:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well you can tell your neighbor's 12 year old son that it isn't very nice to insult people, especially people you don't know, have never met, and have no knowledge of at all. That just doesn't seem very mature.
And incidentaly, I just noticed the last line to this was cut off and didn't make it on. It should read "and now what?" at the very end.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-05 12:58:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
thaaaaats lovely
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-05 12:13:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My neighbor's 12 year old son rated this.
He says you're immature and you suck.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-03-05 09:55:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-03-05 09:21:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
CATAL shakes it, shakes it like a baaaaaaaby!!!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-03-05 09:08:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-03-05 06:17:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-05 04:53:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I cant 2+ this, purely because I really wish i hadn't read it.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-03-05 04:48:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nicely done.
Public toilets are hideous places:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98764
I dont usually linkwhore much, but this just seems appropriate....
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-03-05 03:40:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yuk!
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-03-05 03:04:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
......that looks like a dead animal.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-03-05 02:53:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
gross
Submitted by zxcvvcxz (user info) at 2007-03-05 02:23:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to write poems about shit all the time. Here's a favourite:
Constipation Masturbation
On the toilet once again
my patience is now wearing thin
Nothing to do while I wait
I think I might mastur--- read a book.
Yours is better, of course.
Submitted by Cakes (user info) at 2007-03-05 02:01:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Go home
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2007-03-05 01:49:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where the fuck have you been, asshole?