My mother in law (848 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.26 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by stok (View user info) at 2007-03-05 04:53:08 EST
My fiancés mother and I had never seen eye to eye - I'm not sure why, possibly because she is a cunt. But I digress. Our wedding is in 2 weeks, and the other day Lisa rang me in tears because her mother sent her a text saying that she was not sure if she wanted to come to the wedding, on account of Lisa's dad being there (they are separated).
So I decided to call Mrs Brennan and see if I could convince her to come to the wedding using some of the skills I picked up in my job as a call centre operator. Treat her as a difficult customer, I said to myself. I'm hungry, I then said to myself. Man, how did MJ ever come up with that moonwalk dance? I said to myself.
I dialled the number and this is a transcript of the conversation:
Mrs B: 'Hello?'
Me: 'Mrs Brennan its stok here'
Mrs B: 'Hullo stok, how are you?'
Me: 'I'm well thanks, and yourself?'
Mrs B: "I'm well too.'
Me: 'So Mrs B I just got off the phone with Lisa and she said that-'
Mrs B: 'Look I know what you are going to say, and you must understand that it's a very difficult situation for me.'
Me: 'Yes, I agree, I can only imagine how difficult its going to be but I think-'
Mrs: 'You don't know how I feel so don't sit there and say you understand how I feel'
Me: 'Oh look I fully agree and I'm not trying to-'
Mrs B: 'You just don't get it do you?'
Me: 'I-'
Mrs B: 'You have no idea how I feel, I never hear from Lisa, she abandoned me-'
Me: 'LOOK MRS FUCKEN BRENNAN YOU KICKED HER OUT OF HOME WHEN SHE WAS A KID SO YOU FUCKEN ABANDONED HER IN MY OPINION NOW COME TO THE FUCKING WEDDING AND HELP US FUCKING CELEBRATE THE HAPPIEST DAY OF OUR FUCKING LIVES'.
Mrs B: 'dial tone...'
Damn she hung up before I could ask her opinion on MJ's moonwalk dance. I reckon he made it up when he saw ghetto kids sliding on ice on a cold mornin in the ghetto.
User Reviews
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-01-04 05:47:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Your parents must be so proud (if they're not already dead from aids).
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-04-06 13:15:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
Submitted by Yahweh (user info) at 2007-04-06 12:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-03-05 22:42:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-03-05 18:42:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You hear about this kind of thing all the time. It's a shame some people are so childish that they're willing to make their kid's wedding part of the battlefield. On the other hand, in some cases one of the parents may have gone so far off the deep end that the other really can't handle being in the same place at the same time with them. Maybe Ma Brennan was raped or beaten by the ex.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2007-03-05 18:11:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-03-05 17:52:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heh
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-03-05 17:46:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My mother in law ADORES me
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2007-03-05 17:07:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by paul_anthony (user info) at 2007-03-05 17:03:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Should be fun when you get to dance with the mother of the bride
_____________
I'll moonwalk away from her.
Submitted by paul_anthony (user info) at 2007-03-05 17:03:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Should be fun when you get to dance with the mother of the bride
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2007-03-05 16:46:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-03-05 12:32:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
you're the stokliest stok that ever stok-ed.
____________
I'm all stok-ed up.
Submitted by tiaprae (user info) at 2007-03-05 16:10:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My mom threatened to not come to my wedding because she thought my ex-husband was gay.
I wish I had listened
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-03-05 12:32:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you're the stokliest stok that ever stok-ed.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2007-03-05 12:26:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
She hasn't talked her daughter out of marrying you, so you win.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-03-05 08:48:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-03-05 08:16:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
...is a stupid whore.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-05 08:02:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-05 07:54:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-03-05 07:49:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-05 04:57:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
It doesn't matter which guy I'm dating, you can garentee his mother hates me. i have no idea why, but they do. Fathers love me though..........hmmmm.
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Do you wear revealing clothing? That might be it. Or else you're really pretty and they get jealous.
_________
I don't wear revealing clothing as a rule. Unless it's appropriate. NEVER when going to see the blokes parents. I would love to think it's because I'm really pretty, but that would be lying. I look a bit like a mongoose thats been living under a rock for the past ten years. i've always found that women don't like me very much. I think it's my baldness that makes them uncomfortable.
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Yup. Yer fer me.
<off to work>
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-05 07:54:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-03-05 07:49:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-05 04:57:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
It doesn't matter which guy I'm dating, you can garentee his mother hates me. i have no idea why, but they do. Fathers love me though..........hmmmm.
---------
Do you wear revealing clothing? That might be it. Or else you're really pretty and they get jealous.
_________
I don't wear revealing clothing as a rule. Unless it's appropriate. NEVER when going to see the blokes parents. I would love to think it's because I'm really pretty, but that would be lying. I look a bit like a mongoose thats been living under a rock for the past ten years. i've always found that women don't like me very much. I think it's my baldness that makes them uncomfortable.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-03-05 07:49:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-05 04:57:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
It doesn't matter which guy I'm dating, you can garentee his mother hates me. i have no idea why, but they do. Fathers love me though..........hmmmm.
---------
Do you wear revealing clothing? That might be it. Or else you're really pretty and they get jealous.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-03-05 05:52:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mothers in law rock ! (But not in MY world!)
Remember : Want to know what your lady looks like, when she's 45?
Just look at her mother ! (Still want to get married? Good luck, then !)
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2007-03-05 05:52:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JamieT (user info) at 2007-03-05 05:27:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
no no no Fuck YOU mrs brennan
_________
cop that mrs b fuk ya
Submitted by JamieT (user info) at 2007-03-05 05:27:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
no no no Fuck YOU mrs brennan
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-03-05 05:21:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hehe "The Basrah Shuffle"
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2007-03-05 05:13:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I invented a dance once, I was in Iraq and watched a thief get his foot chopped off, I called it "The Basrah Shuffle".
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2007-03-05 05:04:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-03-05 05:03:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Why not just ask him?
http://www.ubersite.com/u/MichaelJackson
________________
he said i was right they was slippin all over da place
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-03-05 05:03:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why not just ask him?
http://www.ubersite.com/u/MichaelJackson
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-03-05 05:02:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for shouting at future mother in law - she needs to know where she stands.
-1 for trying to understand a woman's feelings. Haven't you learned that this is just a waste of time? It's simply impossible. Save your breath.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-05 04:57:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It doesn't matter which guy I'm dating, you can garentee his mother hates me. i have no idea why, but they do. Fathers love me though..........hmmmm.
Good luck with that