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Why I Didn't Write Anything For ADD / This is my ADD Submission / Why My Life is Awesome / Click Here to Add Inches To Your Penis. (1243 hits)

Category: Romance

Rating: 1.89 on 73 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by AsshOly (View user info) at 2007-03-07 08:34:34 EST




my life roxxxxx.JPG (671 kB)

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User Reviews


Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-01-20 20:29:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

*fights urge to laugh at your misfortune... fails*

HAAA HAAAA HAA HAH HAH HAAAAAA HAAAAA HA!

Thank Sweet Jebus I never lived in a dorm in the school days.

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-03-08 08:30:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 14:20:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

My room is a god-awful mess and I dont want to deal with it until after Spring Break. I've gone through almost a full economy-sized bottle of febreeze and this place still stinks. Somebody better do sumptin abou dis while I'm gone.
------------------------------------

Buddy, you're lucky...Febreze hadn't even been INVENTED yet when I was in college, living in the dorms. Go figure, it came on the market about a year after I finished undergrad. Sure would have been helpful for that incident with the "sauce."

Submitted by manic_impressive (user info) at 2007-03-08 07:13:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I meant Tom Cruise, i was thinking of something else.

But yes, im a gorgeous blonde 21/f/Sweden

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-08 02:37:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Unfortunately you are incorrect.

Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-03-08 02:25:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-07 20:41:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

You have hooves for feet?

---------

Without reading any further down the reviews, I believe this will be a popular joke.


Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-08 02:06:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by manic_impressive (user info) at 2007-03-08 01:15:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

Im gonna be on that cruise too.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


seriously? how old are you, and are you a pretty female.

Submitted by Tony_the_Tiger_is_a_Pedophile (user info) at 2007-03-08 01:34:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

now you know what it was like when my store flooded two weeks ago and the drain was clogged. clean-up suck.

see you in a couple days bro, fuck i'm gonna get a sunburn.

Submitted by manic_impressive (user info) at 2007-03-08 01:15:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

Im gonna be on that cruise too.

Submitted by GnarlsBarkley (user info) at 2007-03-07 23:04:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

cause its happened to me and it sucks

Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-07 20:41:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

You have hooves for feet?

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 20:27:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

scourge, you're hurting my feelings.

Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-03-07 19:23:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

DR. McGILLLICUDDYS VANILLA IS MUCH BETTER THAN THE MINT

YOU ARE AN UGLY MOTHERFUCKER

I DIDN'T COUNT BUT I THINK YOU WROTE MORE THAN 500 WORDS OF BULLSHIT ABOUT YOUR UNINTERESTING WATER SITUATION. YOU'RE DISQUALIFIED, HOMO.





AUTO +1 HOMOS

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 17:08:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-03-07 14:56:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Do men actually want their women to squirt?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heck no. I just want to watch. It's fascinating!


Desolate Misanthrope, my only hope in life is that one day we may be friends. I will continue to post messages of happiness and prosperousness until I fully satisfy your wishes, upon which time I will carve your name, in cursive, in my jugular, over a portrait of what I believe you to look like.

Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-03-07 16:13:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Everyone Dislikes you.

Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-03-07 16:09:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

I dislike pity posts.

Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-03-07 15:58:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

it's like that time you spilled bongwater every where...

Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-03-07 15:25:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I ate a big, red candle

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-03-07 15:02:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Look here's the deal: at the end of the day, if they're truly honest with themselves, all (American) men want one thing - a fair-breasted double amputee (just below the knee) who can squirt, digs the occasional bout of anal AND has an English or Australian accent.

Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-03-07 14:56:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 14:40:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

That's an awesome talent. She could masturbate on my couch any day.

I'm envious of her. She goes into convulsions when she has an orgasm! I want to convulse. I want to enjoy it that much.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-03-07 14:36:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I hear she brings her own tarp or dropcloth to private appearances.

---------------------------

Do men actually want their women to squirt?

Submitted by bob (user info) at 2007-03-07 14:55:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1


Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 13:51:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

That's acceptable, then. I'm actually a Psych major and an English minor, so I'm right with you on the neuroscience crap. I do tend to like the shitty fiction, though.
____________
Ah psych, the retarded cousin of neurobiology.

I kid, I kid.

I met Steven Pinker two weeks ago after a lecture he gave here, there are some amazing minds in psych nowadays and the closing gaps between psych, neuro and evolutionary bio is amazingly interesting.

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 14:40:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

That's an awesome talent. She could masturbate on my couch any day.

I'm envious of her. She goes into convulsions when she has an orgasm! I want to convulse. I want to enjoy it that much.

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-03-07 14:36:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I hear she brings her own tarp or dropcloth to private appearances.

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 14:34:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-03-07 14:16:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Looks like your house decided to pull a Cytheria.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HAHAHAHAH!

I had to google that. It wasn't exactly what I expected.

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 14:20:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

I was turning the bottom up this morning, but as I was sitting here all alone and playing with myself in front of the computer, there was no girl to my left. I just want to get the ball rolling with it later on with the yoo hoo, and then I'll drink the second half straight from the bottle.

My room is a god-awful mess and I dont want to deal with it until after Spring Break. I've gone through almost a full economy-sized bottle of febreeze and this place still stinks. Somebody better do sumptin abou dis while I'm gone.

It's time to pop a no-doz.

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-03-07 14:16:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

SPLOOOOOOOSHYCUMUNNNNNNSHUDDERGHSPLISHYSPLOOSHYSPLOTCH

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-03-07 14:16:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Looks like your house decided to pull a Cytheria.

Submitted by richardcranium (user info) at 2007-03-07 14:12:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 13:27:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

OH IM A FUCKING RETARD.

Yeah, the Doctor seems to work better as a beer chaser. I'm going to buy some yoo hoo later on and mix that, and see if I can make some magic happen. The menthol is oppressive.
=====
Blasphemy. You can't put it in a glass either. Turn the bottle up, then pass it to the chick to the left of you.

Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-03-07 14:02:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

i read that book, coldest winter ever. it was a damn good book. i think i was 17 or something so i was like woot violence!

now if you REALLY wanna have some fun, the next time your room gets flooded see if you can get everyoen to open all their windows and freeze the hallway so you can go ice skating :D

that's probably a bad idea but it'd be fun for a minute.

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 13:51:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

That's acceptable, then. I'm actually a Psych major and an English minor, so I'm right with you on the neuroscience crap. I do tend to like the shitty fiction, though.

Submitted by sweetcheebs (user info) at 2007-03-07 13:50:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

mmmmm....brown water

Submitted by bob (user info) at 2007-03-07 13:49:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 13:12:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by bob (user info) at 2007-03-07 13:05:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

this is why im a science and political science major...no shitty fiction books to read.

-------

You'd rather read a chemistry book?
_______________
chemistry, no, but neuroscience or Locke, definitely

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 13:27:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

OH IM A FUCKING RETARD.

Yeah, the Doctor seems to work better as a beer chaser. I'm going to buy some yoo hoo later on and mix that, and see if I can make some magic happen. The menthol is oppressive.

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 13:21:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

okay, im going to straight up admit it; the doctor references are going over my head. What's up?

Submitted by richardcranium (user info) at 2007-03-07 13:18:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

The Doctor will make everything all right. Always look to the Doctor!

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 13:12:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by bob (user info) at 2007-03-07 13:05:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

this is why im a science and political science major...no shitty fiction books to read.

-------

You'd rather read a chemistry book?

Submitted by bob (user info) at 2007-03-07 13:05:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

this is why im a science and political science major...no shitty fiction books to read.

Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-03-07 13:03:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-03-07 12:18:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:38:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-03-07 09:54:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Why do student dorms always look like asylums for the mentally ill?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have you ever met a college person?
-----------------
I am one, I fail to se..oh, oh yeah.

*dons tinfoil hat*

MOOOOOOOOOOOO!
-------------------------
Don't step on the white ones.....

hot....lava...

PINEAPPLES!

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 13:01:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

yeah, well the thing is, eh... you know... when you got to the end, like... Not even a little bit? Well that's just surprising.

Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2007-03-07 12:50:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I was hoping to add inches to my peener.... erm do I need to leave an address or something... er.. yeah?

Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-03-07 12:44:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I once posted a shitty non-picture version of this sort of story called:
The Night My Building Was Transformed Into The Titanic OR Mentally Retarded Apes and Sprinkler Systems
http://www.ubersite.com/m/59915

Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-03-07 12:18:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:38:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-03-07 09:54:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Why do student dorms always look like asylums for the mentally ill?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have you ever met a college person?
-----------------
I am one, I fail to se..oh, oh yeah.

*dons tinfoil hat*

MOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Submitted by Alcoholocaust (user info) at 2007-03-07 12:07:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

-10 dorm life

+12 Doctor

Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2007-03-07 11:42:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by tiaprae (user info) at 2007-03-07 11:25:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2



Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2007-03-07 11:11:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Have fun cleaning up, and then going on vacation!

I remember living in the dorms....until they kicked me out. We used to have a 5:55 am fire alarm every tuesday for weeks on end. They had scheduled one test, but forgot to turn off the timed setting on it, so it went off every week. I miss the parties, but I'm glad I actually get sleep now.

Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-03-07 11:08:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

.

Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-03-07 11:08:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0



Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:59:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:38:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-03-07 09:54:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Why do student dorms always look like asylums for the mentally ill?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have you ever met a college person?

Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:17:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Daccory (user info) at 2007-03-07 09:59:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

God fucking damn I miss college.

Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-03-07 09:54:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Why do student dorms always look like asylums for the mentally ill?

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 09:44:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-03-07 09:29:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Have fun with the legionaires disease.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

shit

Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-03-07 09:33:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-03-07 09:29:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Have fun with the legionaires disease.

Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2007-03-07 09:23:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

You should declare Jihad on whoever it is that fucked with the pipes.

Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-07 09:19:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Ah the dorm drama..I miss it sometimes. Good luck with all that. I predict lots of Febreze in your future.

Thanks for the reminder about the Sista Souljah book- I've wanted to read it for years but forgot about it until now.

Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-03-07 09:14:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

sympathy

Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-03-07 09:12:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Similar thing happened in my dorm earlier this year. But my room was one of the few that didn't get flooded. Those maintenance guys are retards.

Have fun on your trip, I'll be nearbyish sailing the Virgin Islands in a 48 footer.

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 09:09:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Thorns, we actually had a 5 am alarm last week during a snowstorm, and luckily for me I woke up so tired that I thought it was my alarm for about five minutes and got my ass back in bed after failing to figure out how to turn it off. Even more luckily, there was no fire. If there ever is one that early, I dare say I wont be back on Ubersite.

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-03-07 09:05:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

So did the perpetrator get the official Redbird punishment from the faculty?

Retards doing stupid things in dorms...that's one thing I don't miss from college. 4am fire alarms were no fun, especially where you and I are at in cold winters like this one...

Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-03-07 09:05:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2


I'd hit it.

Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-07 09:02:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Unlucky

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 09:02:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

http://www.caribbeanportreviews.com/CocoCay.htm

Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-03-07 08:57:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Cool. Where is that Island?

This is the wierdest shit that ever happened to me in college, waaaaay back in 1989.

http://www.ubersite.com/m/57063

It involves a skunk, a girl, a party, and vomit.

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 08:54:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2007-03-07 08:46:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

ever stuck a finger in that girl

-------------

one time i was giving her CPR, and she choked up some bits of a crayon. I used my two fingers to sweep the pieces from her mouth.

That's actually a lie.

I sweeped out the legos with my dick.

That's a lie too.

no.

Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2007-03-07 08:51:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-03-07 08:48:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Deluges are one of the shitiest thing that can happen!
+2 for serious mess to clean up !


Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-03-07 08:47:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Damn that sucks. You should find the guy that uncapped the pipe and kick his ass.

Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2007-03-07 08:46:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

ever stuck a finger in that girl

Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2007-03-07 08:46:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 08:41:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

http://www.ubersite.com/m/99355

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 08:40:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

When I say I had a dream last night, I mean that I had a dream last time I slept.


It's wonderful, it's magical. Oh boy, here it comes. Another mouth.

-- Homer Simpson
And Maggie Makes Three