-2s that deserve +2s, and other insults and flaming (1424 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.57 on 59 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Axolotl (View user info) at 2007-03-07 10:12:54 EST
Someone mentioned doing one of these a while ago, and it's been a few months since the last one of these. My last one, if anyone is interested, is http://www.ubersite.com/m/80209
There may be a greater amount of -2s directed at Jgreening and Maltese but that's only because I knew that they have a lot of funny -2s on their posts, and it's easier to put those in rather than to search through every negative post in the last six months.
UNBAN SCOURGE
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-05-21 03:08:53 (#)
Ranking: -2
worst 20 seconds of my life ever.
and i got hit with a 90mph fastball on the torso.
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Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-01-13 07:02:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
This is not a post. This is a tapestry. A vast, handcrafted work which bares the artist's soul and shakes the Firmament with the reedy little cry, "I am here to light the way!" Using naked boring stupidity as the warp and breathtaking unimaginitve laziness as the weft, Sinistral (if that is this person's real name) has created a rug of such raw greatness that it can only be given Uber's highest award.
Allow me to add my humble contribution as I wipe a -2die from my shoe (I read an old Fat Tony 'nigger' post a minute ago, sorry, it musta stuck to me) onto the mat, on my way to do more important things.
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Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-18 00:38:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
Episode XIV: Hokuto No Orgasmatron (Orgasmatron, the Great Bear Fist)
TO GETNAKEDDD:
*taps select pressure points, in order*
You have been given the Forty Thousand 'Minus Two Die' Palm Strike of Terminal Ass Damage OF THE NORTH STAR. In six seconds you will open your left hand and insert it in your ass over and again, in that fashion, until you are dead.
You are no match for Hokuto Shinken.
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Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-12-24 18:15:37 (#)
Ranking: -2
Since it doesn't open, I think you're an absolute worthless, festering, pathetic human being, needing to be fed pig testicals, then shot behind the ear at a 30 degree angle, not causing death or coma but serious fucking brain damage, leaving you aware and frustrated, immobile and incapacitated, and a burden to your family for the rest of their natural lives.
That's what I think.
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Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-06-21 22:46:03 (#)
Ranking: -2
go.hang.yourself.at.your.moms.closet
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Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-12-14 22:38:06 (#)
Ranking: -2
When I go to sleep, tiny llamas speak to me in Yiddish, and we fantasize together and brainstorm about how to take out small businesses by using an anti-awesome vacuum SO powerful, and SO FDA not approved, that we simultaneously wipe out the US ecosystem and Wall Street pimps in exactly 25 minutes. After that, we drink Jaegermeister right out of the bathtub, and fondle each other naughtily with spoons and French dressing.
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Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2005-12-14 20:55:07 (#)
Ranking: -2
How about the Zim-boob-way: You go to Africa, lose your virginity to some AIDS-carrying prostitute, and die of fucking canker sores?
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Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2006-08-30 15:38:12 (#)
Ranking: -2
art is subjective, it is in the eye of the beholder. If I take a shit on a plate and set it behind a velvet rope, does it become art? As a temporary sculptural peice that is a one of a kind production of the billions of cells in my body and their resultant trillions of chemical interactions I think it should.
But it isn't
It's just a bunch of shit.
Just like this post, cock smoker
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Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-11-22 20:09:43 (#)
Ranking: -2
oh.
my.
god.
i want to pull my eyes out with a pair of needle nosed pliers. what the fuck was this supposed to be?
im set and convinced that this is shenaningans for the simple fact that:
You two fought. for a guy. except it wasnt for a guy. she said you shopped at walmart. wait, that guy said he'd rape you if you won, right? and you won? and got raped?
what am i missing?
this was by far THE single dumbest thing i have EVER READ.
there is no exaggeration here. this piece of "literature" would make albert einstein eat his own boogers, and Steven Hawking shit his pants repeatedly (if he doesnt already... never can tell with those wheel chair fuckers).
Not only do i feel dumber for reading this, I also have less respect for myself.
What you have is commonly referred to as "fucking retarded". There's a cure, just do exactly as I say.
1. Take a large chef's knife or the largest blade you have in the house, and put it in the sink with the garbage disposal, handle down. (that's pointy end up)
2. Turn on garbage disposal.
3. Stick your face into the rapidly rotating blade.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-21 11:19:33 (#)
Ranking: -2
you left out the part where you blew each other and tore each others anal tissue. fag.
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Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-03-07 21:42:58 (#)
Ranking: -2
Purple headed cocks slide slowly down your throat
in the wee hours of the morning. Gagging is bliss.
Oh, for the agony! Push thy rigid pole into my
errant sphincter.
YOU FUCKING SUCK!!!
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Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-11-09 14:14:22 (#)
Ranking: -2
"Order #342, your sandwich is ready."
That's my impression of you.
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Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2005-12-15 09:34:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm in a garage band, and because we arent motivited by fame or money, just making cool music, the music doesn't suffer for it.
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Stay in the garage. But leave the ignition on, and the door shut. Let the fumes bring you enlightenment.
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Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2003-11-17 23:05:03 (#)
Ranking: -2
Aw, dammit! If that fucking short bus drops any more people off in the Überhood, I'm gonna blow the shit out of it with an RPG!
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Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-03-11 06:22:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-10 10:52:39 (#)
Ranking: -2
you cacogenic social retard.
===
Heh, I had to look this up - it's somewhat humbling when you're being taught new words by a french-speaking moose-fiddler. Bravo, pepe.
cacogenic
adj : pertaining to or causing degeneration in the offspring produced [syn: dysgenic] [ant: eugenic]
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Submitted by bart (user info) at 2003-09-14 04:28:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
Johnny Cash, even now that he's dead, could kick your ass any day of the week and twice on sunday.
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Submitted by heyzues (user info) at 2005-03-16 22:13:32 (#)
Ranking: -2
HAHAHA. Go fuck your self you giant fucking idiot. You make ugly people look stupid, and coincidently you also make stupid people look ugly. You are the incarnation of all things retarded fat and ugly, you your self have managed to encompass all the dimensions of stupid and engulfed your self in a 6000 degree flame of dumbass.
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Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-21 11:19:33 (#)
Ranking: -2
you left out the part where you blew each other and tore each others anal tissue. fag.
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Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-04 07:58:14 (#)
Ranking: -2
I went to grade school with a kid who could peel his own face off. It was a trick he could only do once. He's dead now.
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Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-10-21 11:10:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck up shlongy we've all seen photos of you, all 5ft2" of you, you couldn't punch your way out of a faggot's tea party
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Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-10-09 20:36:07 (#)
Ranking: -2
A few days ago, i took a gigantic shit in my toilet. when i went to flush, i noticed a small shit smudge on the side of the bowl that didnt go away even after i flushed. every day, when i pee, i pee on the shit to try and make it go away. its still there. thats what you're like, the little piece of shit that everybody pisses on daily but just wont leave.
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Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2005-08-08 08:13:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
This is your 3rd post in the last few hours. A cardinal sin at Uber. We will consider you a witch and you will be burned at the stake at noon.
Oh yeah, it was a shitty post too.
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Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-05-16 13:49:01 (#)
Ranking: -2
Since none of us understand and you don't explain, kindly return the oxygen you've been using the customer service desk and allow our friend Heinrich to show you to your shower....
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Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-07-14 15:38:53 (#)
Ranking: -2
You look like a failed abortion of one of Eminem's love-children
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Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-11-27 04:40:36 (#)
Ranking: -2
You should write for the fortune cookie company that doesn't make fortune cookies.
Know what i mean?
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Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:02:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Most spot-on description of Jay-Peg:
Submitted by _Q_ (View user info) at 2005-06-17 14:14:34
[...]
he probably smells just like your hand does after you finish masturbating.
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Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-12-29 23:44:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
There comes a time in every mans life when he has to just sit back and think about what he's doing with his life. They'll often seek help and advice from people close to them. Me... I asked my grandpa what choices he made in life and how he ended up so grounded and down to earth. He told me that when he was young, around the age of 18, a crow swooped down from the sky, grabbed his eyelid with its beak, and just ripped away the flesh. He layed in a puddle of his blood, screaming while medics rushed to his aide. But back then, medical care wasn't as great as it is now, so they just scooped his eye out of its socket, which led to even more loud screams of pain. Told me that most things in this world are beyond my control, and at any time, I could be put in my place by anything.
That said, I'd rather have my eyelid torn off by a bird and have my eye scooped out than read this post again.
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Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-08-18 20:30:41 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-08-18 19:37:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
as discussed many times.
those aren't me. when asked for nude/or skimpily clad pics? i give people whatever the fuck pics i stumble on. No, not of me. I'm not going to give a bunch of horny, panting, internet dumbasses nudes of me
***
Liar.
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Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-11-17 13:17:08 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-13 22:45:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
1 hour 15 minutes till she gets home from work...
Reservations are in a little under 2 hours...
Wonder if we can get a quickie...
Someone posting?
Sure looks like it...
Betcha she'd wanna fuck in the shower...
I should call and ask...
Or not... Who knows... """"
so what did you actually do that night then? stay in on your own and eat 4 hungry manners dinners while pulling listlessy at your penis every time a pretty lady came on tv?
You are getting shit flung at you left right and centre and what do you do? Post an Uberversary post.
You really have no idea of reality do you?
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Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:29:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:19:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:17:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd probably fuck you in the mouth.
Just so I could tell your mom.
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This will not be news to her. Try harder.
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I would rape you with my cock, then take an aborted fetus and shove it inside your pussy. Then jam my dick in your ass and make an 8 year old Philipino boy eat the aborted fetus out of your love wallet while I drizzled hot sauce all over your back and made a sandwich by putting two pieces of bread around your hair and soaked the hot sauce up and ate it. Then I would call over Confuzitron and he would slap you in the face with his penis so hard it left a penis shaped bruise there. You're husband would come in and be like "What the fuck are you doing?" And I'd say "GET HIM NOW PETER PAN!" And then Peter Pan and tinkerbell would jump out of hiding and double team your husband, making him take the 12 inch 'Black Rocket' in his ass and then tinkerbell would climb into his ass and go all the way to his chest and explode out of it. I would grab his heart and rub it in your face while skull fucking your ear and scream "LICK HIS HEART BITCH!" and then when I spooge in your ear it would blow a fucking hole in your head where I would get 6 gay midgets to piss inside the cavity in your head. All this would be videotaped.
Has your mom seen something like that?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2004-11-17 06:52:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2004-11-08 00:16:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
Hadley Tobedone says:
With parents like that, no wonder it aborted itself.
Cheers!
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
You realize that my wife miscarried about 3 weeks before I posted this, dickhead. You probably do, you heartless bastard. Fucker.
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Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-08 13:35:21 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by trent_nz (user info) at 2006-03-07 22:34:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
What can i say, I like pain
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then you'll like this
-2DIE
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Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-08-13 14:52:58 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-08-13 06:09:51 (#)
Ranking: -2
Wait...
Rob saying someone else is looking like a tool?
Do I need to bust out another pot/kettle alert?
===
STFU with that 4th-grade pot/kettle retarded analogy, you fucking trisomic. And there is no case of pot/kettle since you are an morbidly obese infrahuman schizophrenic, something yet unmatched in terms of tool-ness on Ubersite and probably in and around the Internet.
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Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:10:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
YOU LOOK LIKE A 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN WHO SIGNS HIS PAYCHECKS OVER TO PHONE SEX LINES AND IS SHUNNED AT FAMILY OUTINGS BECAUSE OF THE WAY YOU LOOK AT YOUR NIECE, LITTLE ASHLEY.
HOWS THAT FOR A FUCKING EXPLANATION, BLOCKHEAD?
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Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:27:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:23:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh badass, you know you love it. Can't you just taste the drool that's slowly dripping from his down syndrome lip onto his blood and snot encrusted pillow as he sleeps like a fat little angel?
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You're fucked up, Method.
"Mommy, BartBart's coming over. Can I go out and play?"
"After you've cleaner all the Anal sores off your pillow, son."
"Yay! Anal sores"
*licks lips*
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Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-02 15:09:29 (#)
Ranking: -1
Follow the crowd Jaytard.
It's what you do best.
If you were half as intelligent as you were obese, you would understand that my critique did not draw any parallels with my own work.
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Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-14 11:14:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
JayPig was literally drooling all over Bart and sucking his dick
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Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 09:39:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
I will then email jgreening and have him rat you out to bart - he lives for that kind of thing
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Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-03 20:47:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Two facts:
1) Hadley is a goddman loser
2) jgreening is a goddamn loser, only to make matters worse, he's a fucking tattle tale and a fatass.
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Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-01-19 15:09:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-01-19 04:19:00 (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm telling you, with the month I've had, and with the venom she's spewing right now, if me and Tiger got together in Vegas, it'd take hate-sex to an all time new high level...
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Hatesex with TigerLilly.... *aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh* *oops*
You haven't had sex - aside from SOLO - in your fucking life, so don't go there.
You're embarrassing TL. And disgusting Shlongy, at the same time.
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Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2006-04-21 09:49:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-21 00:04:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
Please, AJ. I beg of you.
I seriously beg of you...
FIND AN ORIGINAL, NON-PLAYED OUT, LIFTED FROM SOMEONE WHO'S ACTUALLY FUNNY INSULT.
I mean, good god. Pretty soon you'll pull out the old "rent-a-cop" jab.
Are you fucking serious jaytit?
you're an obnoxious,unfunny asshole. the only difference between you and a sack of putrid shit is that the sack-o-shit might possibly...eventually get a laugh.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:06:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
HOLY SHIT, I JUST +2ED THAT WALRUS! GOD FORBID ME!
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Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:05:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:02:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
COME HERE MY LITTLE FRAULEIN
LET ME STROKE YOUR....HOW DO YOU SAY.....PENIS?
===
PÉNIS...OR...QUEUE, BITE, ENGIN, PHALLUS, VERGE, BAGUETTE...ETC!!!
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:57:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:05:25 (#)
Ranking: -2
you'll not get any response on this from jay as he is probably still home sleeping
laying about in his dirty little room, Bebe half shirt on, in his boxers and dirty socks with pictures of him and bart, that he furiously printed out last night when he got home, strewn about the room
the smell of ax body spray and a a little hair doll made out of barts pubes that jay carefully plucked from the shower stall
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I have said this before and I will probably say it again. Next time you write one of those "best comments on a post" post, remember this man.
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Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-18 14:10:33 (#)
Ranking: -2
Minus two and die
Here's cum in your eye
This sucked dick
You make me sick
Minus two and die
Minus two and die
Kiss your ass goodbye
Effort? No
Your mom's a ho
Minus two and die
Minus two and die
Talent you should buy
Spend those bucks
So this won't suck
Minus two and die
Minus two and die
Baby Jesus cries
Christ weeps hard
For you, retard
Minus two and die
Minus two and die
Here's cum in your eye
This was shit
You stupid git
Minus two and die
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Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:19:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I almost feel bad, when he wakes up and rubs the mustard crust from his eyes and sees this post, he's gonna start crying like a little baby.
You're wearing tighty whities, aren't you, Jay?
Admit it.
There's a giant pee-stain on the front and an even bigger skidmark on the back, isn't there?
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Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:56:21 (#)
Ranking: -2
Listen honey, you're a fucking ox, and you should be pulling plows. I don't know who's been gassing your head up, but I suppose in your little redneck town with a tooth population of 12, you're the prize pig, and they clamor after you like you're hot shit.
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Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:59:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's the thing you vapid sow...
You're full of shit, and we all know it. You put up the same crap that so many other hosebeasts like yourself have. That shot isn't old. You thought you'd wow us with your CRAZY sex stories and then a pic showing off your rack in a MySpace pose designed to hide your pendulous gut.
Let me tell you, those swinging udders made me fucking vomit on my desk. You're a fucking pathetc excuse for a human, coming here looking for attention. Well here it is.
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Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-06-27 14:50:44 (#)
Ranking: -1
I bet if I greased up your fat folds they'd make a lovely wife.
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Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-02-05 17:00:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
From : Bart Cilfone <bart.at.cilfone.com>
Sent : Sunday, February 4, 2007 3:37 PM
To : "Rusty Hawkins" <marblefluss.at.hotmail.com>
Subject : Re: Fuck me, do automated submissions still work?
Do you seriously not have anything else to do with your life?
bart
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Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-02-05 22:04:22 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2007-02-05 16:13:16 (#)
Ranking: -2
For breaking Joey's streak, you fat cunt.
do you really want to take me on maltese?
really??
you'd love nothing more than the reflected glory of interweb warring with me.
You are an irrelevance. Even here.
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Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-12 14:13:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
"I route for the animal"
SORRY YOU FAT TUB OF SHIT, SPELLCHECK CAN'T FIX MENTAL RETARDATION, PERHAPS IN WINDOWS 2010 THEY'LL HAVE IT COVERED
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Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-10 10:52:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-09 17:42:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Phuzzy. I forgot the damn thing was so big. I saw that, and was like, DAMN, big pic.
And Sphag, forgive me for asking Bart if his reviews might be capped, my bad.
Wanna read the e-mail again? No word of banning, no nothing like that.
Still happy the cunt bubble is gone, and boy do I wish you'd follow.
===
Stop acting all big and important because you attended some Intraweb reunion with the webmaster, whose man juice you obviously crave for.
You're not an authority on who should be banned or not. Be grateful that the Internet gives you a voice that is unheeded in reality. Hanging around the same website other people happen to use doesn't warrant you their respect, much less their friendship, you cacogenic social retard.
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Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-28 11:21:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm confused, has anyone actually admitted to being anything yet?
Besides JayPig admitting that he was a fat, useless cunt devoid of friends. Which can be likened to George W Bush admitting that he is a retard.
It feels good to hear it, but it's completely redundant because everyone already knew it.
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Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-03-24 15:53:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
somewhere, RIGHT NOW, j greening is ejaculating
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Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:19:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 09:55:54 (#)
Ranking: -1
When you have no other "friends" other than web site acquaintances that are too nice to tell you to "piss off", you have plenty of time for "sap" like this.
Leave the guy alone...this is all he has. ""'
actually, good point.
sorry jay.
i keep holding you to the standards of a normal person.
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Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-07 08:47:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
Speak English, you fucking knobhead.
"Dude, you were like, so totally like, Rad, man! I was like, c'mon Man, let's like totally, dude, you know."
Fuck off.
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Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-03-07 09:42:51 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-03-06 22:41:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-06 22:30:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, it's BartBart.
It could have been Barty McBartBarterson, but that joke died quick.
I really don't know you, but from what I've seen....
All jokes die when you get a hold of them. Something about not knowing when to stop. ""
CORRECT.
This person is THE least funny 'man' I have ever had the misfortune to meet.
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Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-01-05 20:36:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-01-05 19:29:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Girl asked my birthday on a date.
I told her, August 26.
About 10 minutes later, she went to the bathroom, and then came out with a little book.
She sat down, pulled out a $10 and said "OK, I'll pay for my drinks. I like you, but you should have been born 5 -10 days earlier, than we would have matched pretty well." and walked.
The bartender, who's a FWB overheard this, and for the rest of the night (since I was there for the music, anyway) she kept joking about it.
Then we went back to her place and screwed like rabbits.
SO that was nice. """
Yes, that's EXACTLY what happened.
Translation:
"""Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-01-05 19:29:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Girl asked my pant size.
I told her, 56.
About 10 minutes later, she went to the bathroom, puked, and then came out with a little bucket.
She sat down, pulled out a $1000 and said "OK, I'll pay for your burgers. I pity you, but you should have been aborted 5 -10 days earlier, than we would have laughed at your carcass" and walked.
The bartender, who's a BBW overheard this, and for the rest of the night (since I was used to hanging out on my own, anyway) she kept eating chicken.
Then we went back to her place and screwed like whales.
SO that was gross. """
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Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-08-18 20:26:15 (#)
Ranking: -2
Your replies just give me more and more examples of your behaviour that just SCREAMS in my face that you are someone that has deep, personal issues."""
Again, I just can't stand people like you. That's the only reason I'm mean to you (among a few others). It's pretty obvious you're fucked in the head. You reason EXACTLY like my ex psycho-bitch who used to say she was being used, and a victim, and was not crazy...but not she's all alone with trash for friends. I tend to sniff out people like you (really, my friends tell me it's a talent!) and have this urge to boot stomp you.
I'm damn sure that I'm not alone in that assumption either."""
The difference is that I'm not some medicated freak who's been in therapy for 11 years. People can assume but I'm not a self-acclaimed medicated freak on therapy, unlike you. Oh wait, I do have a history of therapy! I met a social worker when I was in 9th grade. His final analysis after 6 months was that I needed no help and was just meeting him to dodge excrutiatingly boring math class I had almost perfect grades in. Too bad, he was a fun fellow to chat with.
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Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-01-13 09:23:02 (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope you get goatse'd
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Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-09-19 05:24:12 (#)
Ranking: -2
everytime I see one of your reviews I want to stick a needle in you [to Maltese]
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Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-07 17:55:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-12-07 17:54:21 (#)
Ranking: -2
But hidden, won't I get banned? I have your address too...
I have Bart's, JMG's, FTW's, Jonukah's, Apollo's, Stabkill's, PFF's, Matt Maiorano's, ETS's, and yours.
But if you insist... """
shouldn't you be spending the time force feeding your disgusting yellow skinned slanty eyed whore of a psuedo-wife rice?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-02-06 20:08:40 (#)
Ranking: -2
Do you EVER leave the fucking house?
You've been on the site for almost 24 consecutive hours.
When I woke up on the EAST Coast this morning, you had just finished reviewing some stupid post, you fucking retard.
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Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-05 16:57:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
LET. GO. NOW.
Back away slowly.
Do not return.
Find a hobby, preferably one outdoors.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-12-21 11:19:33 (#)
Ranking: -2
you left out the part where you blew each other and tore each others anal tissue. fag.
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Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-10-04 07:58:14 (#)
Ranking: -2
I went to grade school with a kid who could peel his own face off. It was a trick he could only do once. He's dead now.
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Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-10-21 11:10:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck up shlongy we've all seen photos of you, all 5ft2" of you, you couldn't punch your way out of a faggot's tea party
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Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-10-09 20:36:07 (#)
Ranking: -2
A few days ago, i took a gigantic shit in my toilet. when i went to flush, i noticed a small shit smudge on the side of the bowl that didnt go away even after i flushed. every day, when i pee, i pee on the shit to try and make it go away. its still there. thats what you're like, the little piece of shit that everybody pisses on daily but just wont leave.
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The following is a collection of a few spam comments by ETS, Eric_Rice, Fetish and PFF.
I will not waste chalk
Her mouth is dirtier than a rubber toilet seat.
I will not belch the National Anthem.
I will not sell land in Florida.
I will not put a tack on teacher's chair.
You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.
I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your ass.
I will not squeak chalk.
I will not get very far with this attitude.
Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.
You are not even beneath my contempt.
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
She's the first in her family born without tail.
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.
Don't let your mind wander; it's far too small to be let out on its own.
Your mind isn't so much twisted as badly sprained.
I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others.
Nobody likes sunburn slappers.
If they killed everyone who hated you, it wouldn't be murder, it would be an apocalypse!
When I look into your eyes I can see straight into the back of your head.
THE END
User Reviews
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2007-04-21 15:38:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD, YOU PLAGIARIZED THE FIRST FEW OF THESE FROM MY POST: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92846
YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD, YOU PLAGIARIZED THE FIRST FEW OF THESE FROM MY POST: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92846
YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD, YOU PLAGIARIZED THE FIRST FEW OF THESE FROM MY POST: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92846
YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD, YOU PLAGIARIZED THE FIRST FEW OF THESE FROM MY POST: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92846
YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD, YOU PLAGIARIZED THE FIRST FEW OF THESE FROM MY POST: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92846
YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD, YOU PLAGIARIZED THE FIRST FEW OF THESE FROM MY POST: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92846
YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD, YOU PLAGIARIZED THE FIRST FEW OF THESE FROM MY POST: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92846
YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD, YOU PLAGIARIZED THE FIRST FEW OF THESE FROM MY POST: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92846
YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD, YOU PLAGIARIZED THE FIRST FEW OF THESE FROM MY POST: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92846
YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD, YOU PLAGIARIZED THE FIRST FEW OF THESE FROM MY POST: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92846
YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD, YOU PLAGIARIZED THE FIRST FEW OF THESE FROM MY POST: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92846
YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD, YOU PLAGIARIZED THE FIRST FEW OF THESE FROM MY POST: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92846
YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD, YOU PLAGIARIZED THE FIRST FEW OF THESE FROM MY POST: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92846
YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD, YOU PLAGIARIZED THE FIRST FEW OF THESE FROM MY POST: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92846
YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD, YOU PLAGIARIZED THE FIRST FEW OF THESE FROM MY POST: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92846
YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD, YOU PLAGIARIZED THE FIRST FEW OF THESE FROM MY POST: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92846
YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD, YOU PLAGIARIZED THE FIRST FEW OF THESE FROM MY POST: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92846
YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD, YOU PLAGIARIZED THE FIRST FEW OF THESE FROM MY POST: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92846
YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD, YOU PLAGIARIZED THE FIRST FEW OF THESE FROM MY POST: http://www.ubersite.com/m/92846
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-03-27 20:37:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-03-27 18:58:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
desolatemisanthrope recalc
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2007-03-20 12:34:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I should insult people more.
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2007-03-19 01:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i am totally on this even though i havent written or reviewed anything in two years. ka ching.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2007-03-15 23:25:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I FUCKING RULE!
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:15:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oops... meant to paste this:
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2007-02-21 11:13:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by MY_GRANDMA_FUCKS_ME_WITH_A_STRAPON(user info) at 2007-02-21 07:48:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ASS-TO-MOUTH TRANNYYYYYYYYYYYYY (user info) at 2007-02-21 00:02:57 (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-02-20 17:55:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
*feel
fuck
---
If you're going to correct yourself, correct yourself all the way:
Submitted by GAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY (user info) at 2007-02-20 17:55:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
*feel
fuck
---------
I'll try to remember that. Thanks.
---
Thats why I'm here. To be fair though, I've only done ass to mouth twice.
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-03-08 08:06:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
shit in my mouth
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2007-03-08 07:58:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This made me choke on my panini
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:29:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:19:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-01-12 13:17:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd probably fuck you in the mouth.
Just so I could tell your mom.
===========
This will not be news to her. Try harder.
-----
I would rape you with my cock, then take an aborted fetus and shove it inside your pussy. Then jam my dick in your ass and make an 8 year old Philipino boy eat the aborted fetus out of your love wallet while I drizzled hot sauce all over your back and made a sandwich by putting two pieces of bread around your hair and soaked the hot sauce up and ate it. Then I would call over Confuzitron and he would slap you in the face with his penis so hard it left a penis shaped bruise there. You're husband would come in and be like "What the fuck are you doing?" And I'd say "GET HIM NOW PETER PAN!" And then Peter Pan and tinkerbell would jump out of hiding and double team your husband, making him take the 12 inch 'Black Rocket' in his ass and then tinkerbell would climb into his ass and go all the way to his chest and explode out of it. I would grab his heart and rub it in your face while skull fucking your ear and scream "LICK HIS HEART BITCH!" and then when I spooge in your ear it would blow a fucking hole in your head where I would get 6 gay midgets to piss inside the cavity in your head. All this would be videotaped.
Has your mom seen something like that?
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-03-07 22:19:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by sketch9 (user info) at 2004-11-22 20:09:43 (#)
Ranking: -2
Not only do i feel dumber for reading this, I also have less respect for myself.
--------------------------------
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:56:21 (#)
Ranking: -2
Listen honey, you're a fucking ox, and you should be pulling plows. I don't know who's been gassing your head up, but I suppose in your little redneck town with a tooth population of 12, you're the prize pig, and they clamor after you like you're hot shit.
--------------------------------
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:59:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's the thing you vapid sow...
You're full of shit, and we all know it. You put up the same crap that so many other hosebeasts like yourself have. That shot isn't old. You thought you'd wow us with your CRAZY sex stories and then a pic showing off your rack in a MySpace pose designed to hide your pendulous gut.
Let me tell you, those swinging udders made me fucking vomit on my desk. You're a fucking pathetc excuse for a human, coming here looking for attention. Well here it is.
--------------------------------
These lists get worse each time - I think it's not so much the selection as it is the decline of the sharp one-liner, brought about by people writing multi-paragraph disgusting reviews in the hope of getting on to one of these lists.
These were the only ones that I reckon deserved to be on here.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-03-07 21:32:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2007-03-07 21:30:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Desolatemisanthrope = Jack_McCallum.
That is all.
=======
TO THE UBERBOARD!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2007-03-07 21:30:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Desolatemisanthrope = Jack_McCallum.
That is all.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-07 21:23:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-03-07 17:18:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-03-07 16:38:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
An insult-collector.... I suppose you would have the best judgment on these things considering all the teasing, uppercuts, and the swirlies reeking of baked beans and shit, you experienced in grade school.
------------
No, I never got bullied in school, but I see you're an expert; I would have thought that you would have experienced a lot of that since your bitchiness and confrontation is an obvious overcompensation against your fear of talking shit to people in real life.
Did they call you a chubby, tattooed, ghetto-trash faggot motherfucker? Because that's what I would have called you.
-----------
I hope you are all proud of yourselves.
Young Axolotl will slip one day and say something like this to a real person and end up in jail for manslaughter.
They restrict internet access in there, boy. Believe me, I know.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-03-07 19:39:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm never funny enough to make these things.
Fuck you.
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-03-07 19:02:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-03-07 15:59:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck Scourge
---
Adam has a hard on for me. Sweet.
Of course the only way he would gain any benefit from it is if I granted him a reach around. Well guess what, homo? I'm a selfish lover. Once my two pumps get me to glory, the show is over.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2007-03-07 18:52:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You need to get out of the house more, son.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-03-07 17:47:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're right, it was in the Maltese version.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-03-07 17:41:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-03-07 17:38:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Found it. Although this particular -2 was from one of posts a year and a half ago and was featured in your last edition.
---
that particular one wasn't, I think.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-03-07 17:38:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Found it. Although this particular -2 was from one of posts a year and a half ago and was featured in your last edition.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-03-07 17:37:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
best ever review, compliments of scourge:
"Oathmeal, I hope some day you are walking down the street and you see a puddle of AIDS on the ground and you go "Oh noes! AIDS!" but it's too late and you step in the AIDS and the AIDS makes you slip and fall and you fall into the AIDS and crack your head open and the AIDS goes into your head and you get AIDS.
See what you made me do?"
-----------
BEST EVAR.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-03-07 17:36:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I'm supposedly in this, however I can't find my name after an initial scan so now I have to read all this wtf.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-03-07 17:18:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-03-07 16:38:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
An insult-collector.... I suppose you would have the best judgment on these things considering all the teasing, uppercuts, and the swirlies reeking of baked beans and shit, you experienced in grade school.
------------
No, I never got bullied in school, but I see you're an expert; I would have thought that you would have experienced a lot of that since your bitchiness and confrontation is an obvious overcompensation against your fear of talking shit to people in real life.
Did they call you a chubby, tattooed, ghetto-trash faggot motherfucker? Because that's what I would have called you.
Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-03-07 16:38:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
An insult-collector.... I suppose you would have the best judgment on these things considering all the teasing, uppercuts, and the swirlies reeking of baked beans and shit, you experienced in grade school.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-03-07 15:59:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck Scourge
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2007-03-07 14:27:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
my favorite
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-10-21 11:10:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck up shlongy we've all seen photos of you, all 5ft2" of you, you couldn't punch your way out of a faggot's tea party
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-03-07 14:15:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nobody does a good AOL translator anymore
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-03-07 13:48:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK SCOURGE
THAT HOMO
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-07 13:45:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Needs JUST a bit more Shlongy....other than that, there's a laugh a minute up there.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-03-07 13:42:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
:(
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2007-03-07 13:06:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOO FIRST ON THE LIST!
I ROCK!
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-03-07 13:06:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to agree. The first Battle Royale was awesome.
I always wanted to unload a few rounds into my math teacher.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-03-07 12:56:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2007-03-07 11:23:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just watched Battle Royale & Battle Royale 2.
The first one was solid, the second was pretty 'meh'.
Overall, I must say, you guys had built them up waaay too much. They weren't as edgey as I was led to believe. Oh well.
-----
what are you talking about, dude?
Now, I will say the second one isn't very good.
But the first one! Beat Takeshi is AWESOME!
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2007-03-07 12:47:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Worst one yet.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2007-03-07 12:17:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Most of these were pretty good!
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-03-07 11:48:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-23 12:56:21 (#)
Ranking: -2
Listen honey, you're a fucking ox, and you should be pulling plows. I don't know who's been gassing your head up, but I suppose in your little redneck town with a tooth population of 12, you're the prize pig, and they clamor after you like you're hot shit.
-------------
You can always rely on Meth for the best insults
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2007-03-07 11:23:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just watched Battle Royale & Battle Royale 2.
The first one was solid, the second was pretty 'meh'.
Overall, I must say, you guys had built them up waaay too much. They weren't as edgey as I was led to believe. Oh well.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2007-03-07 11:22:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:17:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I never fucking make Axolotl lists.
UNBAN SCOURGE.
---------------
Me neither.
FUCK SCOURGE.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-03-07 11:13:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2007-03-07 11:01:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
A -2 is appropriate here.
Add this one: http://www.ubersite.com/m/86891#1942988 .
--------
stfu, I can't get every single -2 ever recorded in here, stop being depressed.
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2007-03-07 11:10:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:39:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There's a few good ones in there.
There should be a special jaypeg edition of these
>>>>>> http://www.ubersite.com/m/87204 <<<<<<
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-03-07 11:07:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-03-07 11:07:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-03-07 11:06:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2007-03-07 11:01:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
A -2 is appropriate here.
Add this one: http://www.ubersite.com/m/86891#1942988 .
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:55:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:53:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't write any of those stupid comments at the end. What the fuck are you talking about, these are lame.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:47:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You really need a hobby
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:46:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-12 14:13:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
"I route for the animal"
SORRY YOU FAT TUB OF SHIT, SPELLCHECK CAN'T FIX MENTAL RETARDATION, PERHAPS IN WINDOWS 2010 THEY'LL HAVE IT COVERED
=================================
That is an all time classic.
What was the post where I wrote about shooting the guy behind the ear? I don't remember that at all, although, I was drunk all the time in those days.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:45:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I will do my best to make better insults.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:39:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There's a few good ones in there.
There should be a special jaypeg edition of these.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:32:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I need to work on my -2s...
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:31:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:17:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I never fucking make Axolotl lists.
UNBAN SCOURGE.
------------
I agree, but whom banned him and why?
-Dave
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:31:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.
That one, i honostly earned by making a truly shit-post !
But, who cares ?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:28:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very nice.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:28:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
there are some things i don't remember writing and that i find lame
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:25:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i love these.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:23:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nipples.
That is all.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:21:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Needs more of sicosemen
Submitted by Daccory (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:18:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-12 14:13:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
"I route for the animal"
SORRY YOU FAT TUB OF SHIT, SPELLCHECK CAN'T FIX MENTAL RETARDATION, PERHAPS IN WINDOWS 2010 THEY'LL HAVE IT COVERED
-----------------------------------
This is, and will remain, my favorite -2 ever.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:17:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I never fucking make Axolotl lists.
UNBAN SCOURGE.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-03-07 10:13:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Kinetic energy is measured in joules, and so is work.
ChU = Uf - Ui = Q - W