SPT: Thin mints give me gas, loofahs are weird and a picture of Plymouth's concept car (513 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.4 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by incidencE (View user info) at 2007-03-08 09:53:16 EST
Fuckin' girl scout cookie time is righteous. I defy anyone to disagree with me.
I am accustomed to stockpiling at least a dozen or so boxes of varied cookies so that I can stay on a steady IV drip of them for weeks to come. I enjoy eating many at a time.
That is, until I get to the thin mints box sitting at the back of the freezer.
After the 7th or 8th thin mint my stomach begins kind of a game with itself. It's kind of like it sends my half-digested mass of masticated thin mint sludge to my upper intestine and then brings it back in to play with it some more. This is akin to pouring pudding from one cup to another, over and over and after a while, trapped air becomes a problem.
Eventually that air makes it's way to my colon where it ruminates and prepares to exit, making me and anyone around me quite aware of what tasty treats I enjoyed just a few minutes prior.
I have a dog. My dog farts. Neither my dog nor I mind much the stink of her farts because they originate from a protein-meal based product called Dog Chow. Dog Chow farts aren't all that offensive.
Thin mint farts however, combine the saccharine scent of fudge wafer and a slight, minty overtone with the body's normal dose of methane gas and whatever gasseous byproduct of other, digested food might be occupying the digestive system.
The result is simply repugnant.
Girl Scout Assocition or whatever, you make great cookies but god damn they cost me friends when I fart.
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What the fuck.
Loofahs.
What a stupid idea.
HEY LET'S USE THE DEAD CARCASSES OF SEA LIFE TO CLEANSE OURSELVES.
Exfoliation? Whatever. That's a lame excuse. You just want to feel all exotic and special because you use the bodies of dead organisms to wash your ass.
Fucking weird. You want to exfoliate? Use a brillo pad dipped in HCl. At least you wouldn't look so fucking stupid (even though you are in the shower and no one is looking at you).
Well ... wait. I guess doing that would kind of make you look stupid, but still.
You get my point.
And here is a picture of a concept car I'd like to see brought to full-on production:
User Reviews
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-03-23 22:17:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck off, dickhead. Your "work" sucks.
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-03-09 01:07:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
give it a roof and a flat back and id drive it
Submitted by richardcranium (user info) at 2007-03-08 15:52:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pooooooot
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-03-08 15:40:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice car
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-03-08 13:07:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i am stumped that automobile design has apparently reached its natural end. i now know that there are no further possible combinations of curves and lines that can be used in auto design.
these retreads, while they look nice, are still just retreads. rehashing what has already been done? todays auto design people are the equivalent of cover bands that you'd have playing at some low budget prom.
here, i hear this is going to be the next big thing on the auto circuit later this year: http://edbatista.typepad.com/edbatista/images/2005/05/Model%20T.jpg
very cutting edge, no?
Submitted by Daccory (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:53:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 that deserves a +2 below.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:48:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:45:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you give me perspective and I think about my blessings.
-------------
You have none.
Youre a narrow minded, shit stirring, tiny cocked imbecile with all the charm and grace of a pubic louse latched onto the ragged croths of a leperous AIDs sufferer.
and youre a cunt.
Submitted by tiaprae (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:46:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've been unable to find girl scout cookies, it's actually kind of upsetting.
Also that car is gorgeous.
And:
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-08 10:30:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Thin mints could give me AIDS and I'd still eat them.
Agreed.
Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:45:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you give me perspective and I think about my blessings.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:07:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I never heard of the Belmont, so I found this particularly interesting.
http://www.secondchancegarage.com/public/307.cfm
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-03-08 10:46:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That car is beautiful.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-03-08 10:34:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-08 10:30:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Thin mints could give me AIDS and I'd still eat them.
--
I don't have aids. Does that mean you will or will not eat me?
Actually don't answer the response could upset me too much.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-03-08 10:31:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cookies & girl scouts. Count me in!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-08 10:30:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Thin mints could give me AIDS and I'd still eat them.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-03-08 10:29:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-03-08 10:28:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I read this line completely wrong and nearly wet myself and thought 'Isn't that what teh gheys do?'
"You just want to feel all exotic and special because you use the bodies of dead organisms to wash your ass."
And this one. Well how do you know that they people aren't watching you?
(even though you are in the shower and no one is looking at you).
p.s Nice mole on your left butt cheek *wink*
Submitted by Daccory (user info) at 2007-03-08 10:10:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha ...
Bart has thought of everything:
http://www.ubersite.com//
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-03-08 10:02:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
That car needs smaller rear wings.
Submitted by Daccory (user info) at 2007-03-08 10:00:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
WHERE I'M FROM THAT'S HOW YOU SPELL IT OK STOP PICKING ON ME.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-03-08 09:56:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You spelled association wrong.