Road Head is not on the Menu: SPT with bonus CAMWHORE (1481 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.23 on 83 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (View user info) at 2007-03-08 11:38:49 EST
I'm finally doing it. It's something that I have wanted to accomplish since I turned 18 and in 20 days, I'm heading out to drive across America.
When the brilliant Albert Einstein invented the interstate, he had in mind the travels of every other of his fellow Americans. Of course, his idea implemented hover cars. We're a few years away from hover cars which leads me to this conclusion: hover cars are totally sweet.
Stupidity aside, I leave on March 28th and I'm taking my sweet-ass time (2 weeks) to get to my destination - Fallon, NV. One of my good friends has received his orders from the Navy to become an air Traffic controller for what I believe to be the Top Gun school at the Fallon Naval Air Station. I'm not sure if he will be hanging out with Mav and Goose, but it sounds cool nonetheless. I never bothered to ask. Some friend I am...
We're going to be plotting out our trip on March 24 - 25th. Next weekend is St. Patrick's Day and most of my brain cells will be placed in front of a firing squad, so there's nothing like waiting until the last minute.
Which brings me to my point: Are there any places that you fine folks would recommend seeing? I'm truly interested in seeing the countryside but I'm also making it a point to stop in certain cities. St. Louis is a definite as i would like to revisit the Anheuser-Busch brewery to steal Clydesdale poop for my famous poop scrap bag. Other than that, I'm wide open because I'm a whore.
I just want some ideas, suggestions and such. I'm either making a picture or video scrapbook of the excursion, so your suggestions could impact the level of fun that I have. Even if I don't take your suggestions, I'm still blaming ubersite if I have a bad time.
Hell, I blame uber when I prematurely ejaculate...
On an unrelated note, here's a picture of me from last spring. The guy holding me looks like he's on Lithium or something.
User Reviews
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2007-03-09 22:41:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
lemme guess, road head is not on the menu because your fucking gigantic head won't fit between the steering wheel and your buddy's belly
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-03-09 18:31:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you look dwarfish.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-03-09 18:03:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It doesn't really bother me. I really laughed hard at the tyrannosaurus comment. I wish that i was an oompa loompa though. Gene Wilder is badass.
Submitted by Yougotthatright (user info) at 2007-03-09 16:00:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
besides...I know a "Willy Wonka" thumb when I see one.
Submitted by Yougotthatright (user info) at 2007-03-09 15:38:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Dude RELAX!..I'm not poking fun at you...hell I'm 6'5" and there are SO many times I can't stand being tall like that. I mean even if you are "dwarfish" (great name for the picture in SO many ways), so what?....make it work for you with the ladies in things like slow dancing (mind getting your hair caught in their belt buckles) or the movies (even if holding the seats down may be extremely strenuous on your part), but you'll avoid the embarrassing "catapult/ejection" manuever mid-date.
Make it work for you...Camera angle or Not.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-03-09 15:18:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's just how I'm standing and the picture was taken on a cell phone. Jesus, if I get called a midget one more time, I'm just going to take my short legs and sausage fingers and go home.
Submitted by Yougotthatright (user info) at 2007-03-09 13:39:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
So...<hands folded over face...weeping>
was that "Lullaby League" or the "Lollipop Guild"?
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-03-09 10:14:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your head seems incredibly large for your body.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-03-09 07:31:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2007-03-08 22:39:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nooooo
don't hurt the fishy!!!
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Miss Munkey, we don't hurt them, we just descale them, gut and behead them, stuff them with crabmeat, and then eat them here.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2007-03-08 22:39:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nooooo
don't hurt the fishy!!!
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2007-03-08 22:27:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sympathetic +2, because I'm going to ask... Are you a midget? If not, why are your arms so short? And your head so big?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-03-08 21:18:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Come see me!
I haven't read this post, I just saw something about roadtrip.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-03-08 17:06:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Those are rocket launchers on the back of my lean post. Boat talk.
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2007-03-08 16:41:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cyborg fisherman, complete with duel exhaust!
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-03-08 16:38:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Really?! Your balls?! Wait a minute. If I play with your balls, doesn't that make me gay?
Alright, if I play with your balls then I get to tea-bag you and take a picture of said tea-bag. Pittsburgh, here I come.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-08 16:12:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Whattya mean "maybe", maoiriano?
You'll probably FORCE him...at gunpoint, if necessary.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-03-08 16:10:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Make a stop in Pittsburgh. I'll take you out to one of the top-rated Belgian beer bars in the nation. Maybe I'll let you sleep over and play with my balls a little afterwards.
Submitted by DarthFaded (user info) at 2007-03-08 15:31:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey man..
First off: Yes... Hover cars kick major ass.
Secondly.. Since you are driving through the aptly named "Fruited Plains" (AKA. the waste of space between the east and west coasts of the US), there really isnt too much worth seeing...I have done the coast to coast drive and I feel confident in saying that if it were possible to drive without stopping for any reason including food and bathroom breaks, those that did just that wouldn't be missing much.
Keep in mind I am from California, and frankly once you live and experience what life is like in a sprawling megopolis such as the Los Angeles area, middle America really doesn't have much to offer; unless of course you want to find your way through the tourist traps that are just glorified truck stops whose claims to fame are the worlds biggest ball of twine, or largest fiberglass tree tunnel, or places to purchase illegal fireworks.
Truth be told I think you and your friend would be better served hauling ass as fast as you can through the farm belt and get to Las Vegas. Then spend the remainder of your two weeks binging on free drinks, 2am Casino Coffee shop visits, comped meals, and strippers.
That is the way I see it...
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-03-08 15:09:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah, i've lived in or around big cities my whole life. the most fun i have is in the smaller towns. all i ever do in big cities is drink. i can do that anywhere. in fact, i'm about to have a few right now at home.
i LOVED Colorado and South Dakota. you should check out the Black Hills. it's amazing... and you can see Mount Rushmore and the Crazy Horse Memorial (unfinished but cool). Deadwood is also pretty sweet. oh, and Hot Springs. they have Wooly Mammoth dig sites and of course hot springs to swim in.
Winter Park in Colorado is beautiful and there's plenty of outdoors stuff to do there. just google it.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-03-08 15:06:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:44:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Daccory (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:43:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought Top Gun school was in Miramar.
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They moved it in '97. From what I've read anyway.
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sad, but true.
They moved the Marines out of El Toro, and the Navy out to Fallon :(
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-03-08 14:55:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hidden,
I should be in St. Louis on or around the 29th or 30th. More to come. I appreciate that.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-03-08 14:54:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Probably when I said that I've wanted to do this since I turned 18. I know Philly and I've been to St. Louis before. I plan on stopping into certain cities that we decide on. I really just want to see the countryside. Urban life just doesn't excite me as much. I like finding a quiet little town to explore.
I would like to take the northern route if not for the Rockies, than for the National Parks. I'm an outdoors nut. I'm thinking about setting up some kind of charter fishing / hiking excursion.
My money will only be going towards my food and drink. The Navy is paying for gas, lodging, etc. for my friend. I'm just the spare driver along for the ride.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-03-08 14:48:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
actually, i might be in St. Louis around the time you may be coming through. shoot me an email and let me know if you want to grab a few beers or have me show you where the nightlife is.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-03-08 14:42:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-03-08 14:14:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm 25 so I'll be hitting all of the boozing places. I would like to stop by my good buddy Jack Daniel's house.
I'm not sure which way we'll be taking. I was really just trying to get some ideas. I appreciate all of the input. You've made me the happiest midget in the US.
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well, i don't know where i got the 18 thing from. shit, the possibilities are limitless if you can drink!
definitely hit up 6th street in Austin on a weekend night. if you like drunk, hot college girls, you will cum in your pants when you see this place.
the Riverwalk in San Antonio is another hour from Austin and it's fucking awesome, too. beautiful place. then you can drive up 10 to El Paso and see some desert and some mountains.
at any rate, i'd check out Beale Street in Memphis if you go through the middle.
don't go the northern route. unless you really want to see Chicago, but trust me, i live there and it's nothing special. big buildings and a city full of assholes- whoopidee-doo. but then again, you could stop by Philly, which is fucking awesome. and i'll be there for the next two weeks, so you could stop by and have a few beers with me. if you like history, it's a must see.
i'm in St. Louis now. unfortunately i have to go back to Chicago for the weekend before i fly to Philly. too bad i won't be here to show you the cool places to go in St. Louis. but if you're there for a night, get drunk as fuck on the Landing until the bars close and then stumble to the riverboat casino where you'll be able to keep drinking. or just go across the river to Sauget in IL and there's plenty of strip clubs and regular clubs that allow 24/7 drinking. also, i hear Kansas City has some good strip clubs where they do cool shit like have fully nude chicks in glass showers with each other.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2007-03-08 14:36:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Didn't read all the reviews, so this may have been mentioned, but if you have a chance to see a sunset behind the rockies, do it. I would suggest avoiding the boring drive through Kansas along I-70 as it is worse than circumcision by paper-cut.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-03-08 14:21:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Until this is rectified with a more proportional picture you will be referred to as Stunt.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-03-08 14:21:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm sure it's the posture and the angle, but it looks like you have a child's arms. That or a gigantic Apollo-head.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-03-08 14:18:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-03-08 13:34:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You said you are ending in Nevada so this may be out, but one of my favorite drives in the US is from Yuma AR to San Diego CA. It is an amazing three hour drive that takes you from desert scrubland, white nothing but sand Saudi Arabia-like dessert, to stony foothills, over a mountain to green moist countryside.
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I've done that drive so many times it's practically a commute for me. The best part is, that there are very few cops in that area - they hang out out on either end of El Centro, and near the Brawley exits.
The part of that drive with the scrub? There is no place for cops to hide, so I get it up to 110 each on that stretch, easy.
Another good stretch of road is the old 395, from Lone Pine to Barstow - that's a great high speed drive as well.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-03-08 14:14:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm 25 so I'll be hitting all of the boozing places. I would like to stop by my good buddy Jack Daniel's house.
I'm not sure which way we'll be taking. I was really just trying to get some ideas. I appreciate all of the input. You've made me the happiest midget in the US.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-03-08 14:06:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
If you want a real challenge, try and do the drive without getting on a single interstate. Makes things more interesting.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-03-08 13:34:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You said you are ending in Nevada so this may be out, but one of my favorite drives in the US is from Yuma AR to San Diego CA. It is an amazing three hour drive that takes you from dessert scrubland, white nothing but sand Saudi Arabi-like dessert, to stony foothills, over a mountain to green moist countryside.
There are probably other places you can drive from dessert into green parts of CA, this is just the only one I have done. I would try and fit something like this in if you get the chance.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2007-03-08 13:26:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No road head? Where is the fun in that?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-03-08 13:12:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ooooh, that sounds cool. i might have to do that the next time i drive through Kentucky.
southern IL has a cool wine trail, but i'm pretty sure you said you were 18, so that's out.
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2007-03-08 13:07:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
3 words: Kentucky Bourbon Trail
http://www.kybourbon.com/english/pages/trail.html
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-03-08 13:00:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well, if you're starting in Maryland, no doubt you've already seen DC, so that's out.
if you're going to drive right through the middle, there ain't much to see. St. Louis, the Ozarks... uh.... yeah. just make sure you see some good desert. if you've never been to a desert, it's pretty cool. and bring a spare 5 gallon gas containter if you can.
if you're going to drive all over the place, there's a ton of great places to go in the southern states. besides the civil war sites, i'd hit up Beale street in Memphis and Nashville.
if you go through Colorado, check out Winter Park. you can do some concrete bobsledding down a moutain or rent some mountain bikes.
if you go down south, check out New Orleans and Biloxi. there's some good gambling down there on the beach in Biloxi.
if you go through Texas, check out Austin, San Antonio, and El Paso and don't forget to go to Jaurez, Mexico if you stop in El Paso. it's the dirtiest Mexican city ever, but it's awesome because you can find plenty of trouble there if you want to have some real fun.
i've seen a million cool places, but right now i'm having a brain fart and can't really think of anything cool. at least not through the middle of the country. i'll let you know if i think of some other places.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:52:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The bulb's out. You'll be fine.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:44:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mmmmm.... your bits will be nice and chewy by the time they reach my house. Oh, don't forget to include some hair. It's getting really hard to collect hair for my hair doll ever since you installed that motion light outside your house.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:42:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Anytime I post a pic on here, I look fucked up.
Either I'm Sloth from the Goonies or I take shitty pictures. Either way, I like rocky road ice cream.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:40:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:38:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:22:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
5'11 is pretty damn short actually for a dude.
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Shut the fuck up jew-raper!
ps your head to body ratio is messed up EatMe, it just aint right
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and the scottish chapter of world midget association chimes in.
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:38:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:33:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PS. do not, I repeat DO NOT under any circumstances pick up ANY hitch-hikers. That always leads to trouble or dead people.
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ditto on that one dude, don't pick up and hitch hikers. Even if its a chick, and don't help anyone that has a broken down car. In this day and age people have cell phones. If someone trys to flag you down they don't want your help, they want steal your kideny or wear your skin.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:38:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:22:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
5'11 is pretty damn short actually for a dude.
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Shut the fuck up jew-raper!
ps your head to body ratio is messed up EatMe, it just aint right
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:38:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
In that case the Grand Canyon will take your breath away, seriously. They have a new glass walkway that extends over the edge that is supposed to be spectacular.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:38:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've been thinking about getting a head reduction. My neck hurts much too often. Of course it could have something to do with shaving my asshole. The mirror just doesn't help; it makes everything move backwards and I shaved out a huge chunk of my gooch.
Chew on that for awhile. Seriously, I'll mail the chunk to you. Might take a day or so to get to the 'Dena.
Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:37:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
watch out for the potholes. they can leap out when you least expect it.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:37:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:22:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
5'11 is pretty damn short actually for a dude.
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and your face is pretty damn ugly for a woman. what's your point?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:36:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
take a "wrong" turn somewhere :D
and good luck getting all your money back in a speedy manner from the navy.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:35:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
even if it's a hot chick. they usually have non-hot, ass-raping redneck boyfriends.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:35:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Inion,
Thanks for the suggestions. I do plan on visiting the desert. I know that we're planning on driving through the Rockies. I want to visit Denver and Boulder. I have friends that live there.
I won't make it to CA, OR, and WA. It's just not in the budget. The Navy pays for relocation and he has to show receipts or something...
I always tip well.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:34:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
EMC relax, it's just foreshortening. I'd be less worried about your arms and more worried about that giant melon you have. Have you ever found a hat that fits?
:P
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:33:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PS. do not, I repeat DO NOT under any circumstances pick up ANY hitch-hikers. That always leads to trouble or dead people.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:31:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:24:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:56:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just flew over the Grand Canyon three weeks ago on the way back from Tahoe/Vegas.
Once again, it just looked like a big fucking hole to me.
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The sight of a big fucking hole is not that enticing when you've been married awhile, I suppose.
EMC, if you're taking a cross country trip and the only thing you definitely want to see is the fucking Bud brewery in St. Louis that is a sad commentary on the US educational system or maybe just you and your Tyrannosaurus Rex arms.
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Haha! It was a joke. But seriously, I am going there. I love horses.
Wish I had just two fingers though. I could be a midget tyrannosaurus that chases children and the like.
The picture was taken with a cell phone. My arms are the proper length for someone of my height. I hope.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:29:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
buy the premade first aid kit and then just keep clean white clothes in your trunk. like t shirts or stuff.
not much handier than a bunch of hanes white t shirts. you can make ANYTHING with them.
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:27:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
St. Augustine, FL; Oldest city in the United States and my hometown; here's a brief tour http://www.ubersite.com/m/98983
Also here is a list of things I would highly suggest you not go on your journey with out, trust me. I'm in the Army I know how to survive in adverse conditions, and you never know what can happen in the middle of nowhere. The asian dude that got his family stuck in the snow and died in the woods is a good example.
spare tire
tire iron
car jack
jumper cables
complete first aid kit
kit should include at least surgical scissors, guase pads,guase wrap, gloves, antiseptic cream, alchol wipes, several sizes of band aids, airway tube.
road flares (four or more)
refective hazard triangles
road guard vest
quailty flashlight (maglight/ surefire/ pelican)
EXTRA batteries for light
Car cell phone charger
good gas can w/ gas
(make sure you change out the gas in the can every few stops)
Case of bottled water
non perishable food (canned)
can opener....
Food bars (ganola/ cereal bars)
Sharpened survial knife (rambo style...trust me)
GPS locater (expensive but worth it in a tough situation)
Compass if you cant get a GPS
multi tool (leather man/ gerber)
Basic automotive tool kit (not really needed but good to have if you know how to use them)
lighters and matches
I know that seems like a lot of stuff but seriously I wouldn't be caught without any of that stuff is I was away from home. You can never be too prepared for what the world throws at you.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:25:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Have an awesome adventure. Take lots of pictures and post them. Driving across America was one of the best experiences of my life.
Be safe.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:24:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:56:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just flew over the Grand Canyon three weeks ago on the way back from Tahoe/Vegas.
Once again, it just looked like a big fucking hole to me.
=====
The sight of a big fucking hole is not that enticing when you've been married awhile, I suppose.
EMC, if you're taking a cross country trip and the only thing you definitely want to see is the fucking Bud brewery in St. Louis that is a sad commentary on the US educational system or maybe just you and your Tyrannosaurus Rex arms.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:22:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
5'11 is pretty damn short actually for a dude.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:20:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Maryland. I've driven to Texas and through the states east of the Mississippi.
First time I've ever been accused of being midget-like. I'm 5'11".
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:20:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:04:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
so you're not hitting the west coast at all?
i woulda suggested the pacific coast highway.
or take 80 through the rockies.
or one of the passes in colorado, but i guess you're not going out that far. you're missing a lot if you skip the rockies until you get to nv.
hmmm... route 66 is badass too but you're not goin that way.
skip nebraska, oklahoma, and most of texas. it's beige.
recommendations that you will probably ignore:
olympic mountain range in washington and the entirety of route 101. taking the ferry across the puget sound at dawn. it's damn cold but worth the view. straight of juan de fuca too. deception pass near whidbey island. mt rainier and mt baker
seeing the dawn on the eastern side of the rockies, seeing the sunset from the appalachians in georgia. also, pacific coast sunset anywhere. kentucky and west virginia in the early morning. as well as vermont. the sunrise through the morning haze is amazing. north/south carolina coast line.
some of pennsylvania, mostly the drive through hill country. the amish will stare at you and show up in large groups at the more franchised truckstops. i have no idea why. i know a couple nice truckstops there.
the ozarks.
go find a good large swamp in lousiana and get a small tour of it. although this time of year was probably a really shitty pic as far as timing goes as most of the country looks best in mid-late spring and early-mid fall.
ignore new jersey if you don't have to drive through it. it sucks and it's ugly on the highway.
the virginia turnpike stretch is pretty interesting as far as car accidents go.
if you can hit dc when the dogwoods are blooming you're doing good.
the desert in nevada is BEAUTIFUL at sunrise. even in winter since that was the only time i could find out.
go to death valley. go to new mexico. painted desert and stuff.
avoid utah if you can. the people are really fucking weird there and you never know what might be illegal.
wyoming is actually amazing too as far as the view of the mountains from the plains. if you're luck you may even get to watch a thunderstorm swallow the sky.
grand canyon from any vantage point you can get it amazing, including just flying over it.
see the run rise from capecod if you can. or maine. maine has beautiful hay fields.
upstate new york. think last of the mohicans views even though that's not where all of it was.
good luck, stop for gas in daylight, lock your car, cover your stuff or bring it in with you. keep at least two warm blankets in your car since you're doing this when it's still damn cold, and a bunch of canned food, beef jerky and water. also, matches, canned heat, a quart of oil, some radiator fluid, windshield fluid, a copy of a 2007 road atlas, a roll or two of tp just in case. a flashlight, extra batteries and bulbs.
tank up whenever you can. you never know when all of a sudden it's 200 miles to the next rest stop let alone fuel stop.
stop at all welcome centers you can usually get free maps and tourist stuff you might actually want to check out. also, buy maps whenever you intend to stay in a town especially for more than a day.
be nice to the locals, tip your waitresses and don't be an asshole in small towns or on back roads. cops can be a little iffy in the wrong spots.
that's all i have right now.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:19:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:05:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you look short like a midget. a doable midget though.
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Fag.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:14:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
neon lights and hookers make any place worth visiting.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:12:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
What the Grand Canyon needs, it seems to me, is some restuarants/bars down at the bottom of it, accessable only by helicopter.
And it needs a bunch of neon lights and such, to attract business. And, of course, hookers.
At least that's what I told Mrs. Shlongy when we flew over it a few weeks ago.
It was only seconds later that she punched me in my broken shoulder and told me to shut the hell up and leave her alone.
No one likes my "great ideas in action".
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:05:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you look short like a midget. a doable midget though.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:04:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
St. Louis is awesome. i'm obviously going to say that because i grew up there.
other than that, i can't make any recommendations until you tell me where you are starting from.
+2 for roadtrips.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-03-08 12:01:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:56:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just flew over the Grand Canyon three weeks ago on the way back from Tahoe/Vegas.
Once again, it just looked like a big fucking hole to me.
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<Snorts up coffee>
Submitted by maf54 (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:56:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Your friend's gonna get fly-byed and spill his coffee everywhere.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:56:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just flew over the Grand Canyon three weeks ago on the way back from Tahoe/Vegas.
Once again, it just looked like a big fucking hole to me.
I guess I don't appreciate God's natural creations and such.
Probably because I'm agnostic.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:55:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll have my people get with your people to create an intertangled mess of peoples.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:54:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think that we may make a stop at the Grand Canyon. When I went to Vegas a few years back, I had every intention of renting a car and making the trek. Alcohol meant to have me do otherwise.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:50:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Go caving. I think there's a couple places in Kentucky.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:49:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
When you're heading to Charleston, touch base with my people. We'll set up an appointment.
I'm in Charleston at least one day a month. We like it there.
They have ECHL hockey.
And, booze.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:49:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You made me laugh, would you like some sperm donation?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:47:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:46:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The Grand Canyon is an obvious one...but if you've never seen it in person, it's well worth the visit. Pictures just don't do it justice. Take a little time to stop in the desert too. The night sky out there is insane. Some of the best times of my life were spent on the road, criss-crossing the US. Enjoy the trip.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:46:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Errr....I guess *I'm* the dumbass....
+2 for my stupidity.
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Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:43:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:42:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You like fishin'. If you make it to Texas there are great catfish and bass fishing lakes, and of course, Corpus Christi and Gavelston are excellent fishing spots as well. Rockport, Port Aransas, Padre Island...all offer great ocean fishing.
But I'm partial to Texas because I'm from there, and it's sunny and warm most of the time, unlike this godforsaken state called Michigan.
:-(
Anyway have fun on your trip.
Watch out for serial killers.
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The photograph was fine on my screen on the first post, dumbass.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:44:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Daccory (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:43:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought Top Gun school was in Miramar.
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They moved it in '97. From what I've read anyway.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:44:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
then by all means ; a rerun ! ( never too early for first time..)
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:39:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Get your fingers outof my slimy moneymaker!
Submitted by GnarlsBarkley (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:44:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
you look like you stole your arms from a midget.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:43:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlong, we're heading straight out west from Maryland. I'll be in Charleston for a few days this summer. I'll buy you a beer.
Submitted by Daccory (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:43:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought Top Gun school was in Miramar.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:43:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking-A, that's a nice rockfish!
If I get off my ass and get my boater's license, wanna go out fishing with me? Stupid fucking license, like I haven't been a mate on a boat since I could walk....
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:42:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I had to resize the picture. Your rating's on the other one...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:42:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If you're driving on 95 through South Carolina, you'd have to be a fucking idiot not to look Shlongy up for a quick drink.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-03-08 11:42:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm quite sure i just rated this. But my rating has dissappeared, it seems...